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Paternal Quandary


Spiritchaser
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I was discussing this recently with a group of friends both male and female and it led to interesting discussion and how men view women and women view men, also how daughter's see their Father's.

 

I simply asked the group that if you had two grown up daughters, one was married to a horrible man but she had two young children and he was a good father to them though he was a useless and angry husband, and the other daughter was a high class prostitute, who did everything in a very professional and safe way. Which daughter would you feel happiest for? Whose life choices would you be most pleased with? What advice would you give to both daughters?

 

This led to quite vociferous argument but it was very interesting none the less and no one caused irreparable damage.

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If she's not being manipulated or abused in any way, obviously the prostitute. Fuck out of here with that "She's a whore!" 1930s bullshit. It's no parent's business who their adult children happily consent to have sex with, how much of that sex they consent to having, and what they get in return for it.
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If she's not being manipulated or abused in any way, obviously the prostitute. Fuck out of here with that "She's a whore!" 1930s bullshit. It's no parent's business who their adult children happily consent to have sex with, how much of that sex they consent to having, and what they get in return for it.

 

 

so you wont mind if you have a daughter that ends up being a prostitute as long as shes happy.

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You don't think a parent should worry how much their daughter is getting raped as part of her job?

 

As in "how much consensual sex they choose to have", not "how much they consent to the amount of sex they have".

 

so you wont mind if you have a daughter that ends up being a prostitute as long as shes happy.

 

I certainly wouldn't go around calling people "a whore" for willingly making the decision to become an escort, if that's what you're asking. The general question of the thread is a pretty selfish one. It's basically asking would you rather your daughter have a job you, personally, disapprove of or a partner you, personally, disapprove of, which is kind of a meaningless question as it is. The question doesn't actually imply that anyone is in danger, or being exploited, or even vaguely unhappy about the situation, other than the father.

 

A significantly better and harder question would be "Your daughter's broke and, for whatever reason, you can't help. Would you rather she married a horrible, abusive rich man she didn't love, or became a prostitute" with it being explicit that she wouldn't be happy in either.

Edited by John Hancock
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I'd be perfectly happy to have a daughter who was a prostitute, so long as she was safe about it. Consent or non-consent is regardless of payment being involved. Let's face it, it has always existed, even in the most oppressive cultures, and will always exist. It's an exchange of goods and services, but it's also more than that and frankly that should be respected. It's deeply ironic that people like the Kardashians etc. are accepted and respected, when they're bigger whores than a prostitute could ever be. We're ridiculously sexually oppressed as a society in some ways, while we're really accepting of whoredom in other ways, as long as those ways don't involve sex and money directly.

 

On the other hand, I'd tell the daughter in the abusive relationship to leave. That's my line, and I'm sticking to it. The fact he'd be missing within a short time of me learning about his abuse is not relevant, nor is the fact that so would any john or pimp who raped my prositute daughter. I know nothing about any of that. This is why I'm not a parent and legit don't really want be.

 

And to JH's variation, at least prostitution is honest and probably safer than a rich, violent husband.

Edited by etz
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I wouldn't be happy but if the prostitute daughter genuinely has no problem with it I guess I'd learn to say nothing, tell no one and try not to judge her choice. If obviously she felt she "had" to do it and I could change so she didn't "have" to then obviously I;d do that.
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I wouldn't be happy but if the prostitute daughter genuinely has no problem with it I guess I'd learn to say nothing, tell no one and try not to judge her choice.

 

Yeah, that would be me too. Viscerally, I'd have a problem with it, just as an immediate reaction, but that would be my problem to get over, not her's.

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I wouldnt be happy with either choice, anybody who would needs their head seen to.

 

I wouldnt call my daughter a whore if she was a hooker, but I wouldnt be happy for her or with her choice to be one. No father wants to think of his daughter having sex with one guy who she's in love with, let alone with hundreds of perverts in seedy hotels for money. Add to that, she could be as professional as she likes, there are still tons of dangers involved in that line of work.

 

Anybody who would be happy with it either doesnt have kids yet so had no idea what its like to have parental feelings, or is a bit of a weirdo.

 

I'd be perfectly happy to have a daughter who was a prostitute, so long as she was safe about it. Consent or non-consent is regardless of payment being involved. Let's face it, it has always existed, even in the most oppressive cultures, and will always exist. It's an exchange of goods and services, but it's also more than that and frankly that should be respected. It's deeply ironic that people like the Kardashians etc. are accepted and respected, when they're bigger whores than a prostitute could ever be. We're ridiculously sexually oppressed as a society in some ways, while we're really accepting of whoredom in other ways, as long as those ways don't involve sex and money directly.

 

Thats such a load of complete bollocks. First off, you said you aren't a parent, thats obvious from reading what you wrote that you have no idea what parental feelings are or your ludicrous opinion would be different. And drug running has been around forever too, would you be happy if one of your kids was a drug dealing, its an exchange of goods after all.

 

Its funny how everybody who's "ok with it" aren't parents and also, nobody seems to even be taking into account the mental aspect of it all. If you talk to women who are or who have been hookers, it generally seems to mess with their minds and makes it hard for them to have normal relationships throughout their life and that doesnt only mean with men, it can mean with their fathers or kids or whoever. There is also a reason why the majority of prostitutes are drug addicts: they are desperate and will do anything.

 

Heres the deal, if you would be ok with your daughter being a hooker then you are either f*cked up, dont care about them or an extremely shitty parent. Take your pick.

 

Come on....Jesus, some of the shit I read around here at times makes me wonder...

Edited by Kam
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Oh don't play the "you're not a X, your opinion doesn't count" card, you're better than that.

 

I'm having the exact same thing with tiny letters too, no idea what it is, or what causes it, it's like sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn't. I also can't correct it, like all the font size options are either too big, or too small, I think the default font must be like a 4.5 or something.

 

This is a 4, which is a little too small. But this is a 5, which is a little too big.

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Re-read it, I never said you dont count, but your opinion would change if you had a daughter, thats a fact, unless, like I said, you're either f*cked up, dont care or a bad parent.

 

Dude, its like me saying I understand the plight of the f*cking jews or can relate to people who suffered through slavery when I obviously cant.

 

Personal example, I never understood the difficulties of autism, never cared about it...until I had an autistic son. Everything changed. I never cared about kids, until I had my own, now if I hear of something happening to a kid, it automatically makes me think how I'd feel if it were mine, you dont get that if you aren't a parent. I mean, thats literally an undeniable fact, isnt it?

 

You know I'm right, you KNOW that a parent thinks differently than a non-parent when it comes to kids. If you say otherwise, I dunno what to tell you.

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You know I'm right, you KNOW that a parent thinks differently than a non-parent when it comes to kids. If you say otherwise, I dunno what to tell you.

 

It's not the thinking differently part, it's the black and white "you're wrong, I'm right" part, that there can't be different views and opinions on sexuality or whatever, it's got to be about not caring, or being fucked up, and then it comes down to people having to list their life C.V. to justify their opinions.

 

You can care about something more, and you can change your mind about something, and you can be really concerned about something, but that doesn't make you factually correct, it's just the reason you believe what you believe, and that's fine, but it doesn't mean what you believe is inherently more correct than what anyone else, who isn't perhaps so invested in the situation, believes.

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But again, its my opinion that you'd be f*cked up or a bad parent to think that way. Maybe its wrong, but my brain cant compute anybody having a daughter and being fine with her being a hooker.

 

I do see what you're saying though.

 

But I'd certainly stick with the idea that I think people who dont have kids would have a different opinion after they did have them.

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On the other hand, I'd say being unable to think of your kids, or parents for that matter, having sex without going a bit squiffy is just a sign of your sexual repression. It's a problem most people in our culture have, but it's still a problem.

 

10 or 15 years ago, most people would have said the exact same thing about a child being gay as you are about them being a prostitute. Times change, so do attitudes, and some of us are ahead of society in being accepting of other peoples life choices, regardless of what they are. If they're not harming anyone else, and they're happy, that's all I could ask for my kids.

 

Obviously, it wouldn't be my first choice for any child of mine to sell their bodies to make a living (wrestling, fighting, prostitution), but it's a choice I can respect, providing it is a choice. Also, I'm thinking escort, or brothel girl not corner girl ( I'd be very concerned with that because it's stupidly dangerous).

 

Being a strung out dope fiend is obviously a problem, regardless of what you do for a living.

 

The idea that being a prostitute screws with peoples heads has no real evidence either way. Plenty of people who become prostitutes are screwed up, but they were screwed up before they became prostitutes. Equally, some attest that it messed them up, while other claim it hasn't affected them at all or has made their lives better.

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On the other hand, I'd say being unable to think of your kids, or parents for that matter, having sex without going a bit squiffy is just a sign of your sexual repression. It's a problem most people in our culture have, but it's still a problem.
Obviously, you cant be serious. Yes, I dont care to think of my daughter being a hooker and sleeping with lots of guys, not because I'm a normal human being and a good parent, but because of my personal sexual repression :lol:

 

10 or 15 years ago, most people would have said the exact same thing about a child being gay as you are about them being a prostitute. Times change, so do attitudes, and some of us are ahead of society in being accepting of other peoples life choices, regardless of what they are. If they're not harming anyone else, and they're happy, that's all I could ask for my kids.
No, they wouldnt. Thats such balls man. Being gay is something you are, not something you choose to do as an occupation, completely 100% different, the two cant be compared at all, including peoples attitudes towards it. And whats this "Some of us are ahead of society" with your thought process nonsense? If you think you're ahead of society because you'd be happy for your child to be a prostitute, then you're sorely mistaken.

 

Obviously, it wouldn't be my first choice for any child of mine to sell their bodies to make a living (wrestling, fighting, prostitution), but it's a choice I can respect, providing it is a choice. Also, I'm thinking escort, or brothel girl not corner girl ( I'd be very concerned with that because it's stupidly dangerous).
And now you're comparing wrestling and fighting to prostitution? With a straight face? Does that mean than anything physical activity is the same then? So any athlete is the same as a prostitute? Brick layers too, I mean, its hard work and they sweat right? Some of them even work with their top off...please stop it.

 

And an escort is a polite work for hooker, lets not get it twisted. What makes you think an escort, who goes to hotels with guys or their homes, are any different than girls who work the streets? Its all dangerous and its all seedy. I mean look, there are people on professional porn sets who have caught HIV and God knows what else, and thats supposed to be safe.

 

Being a strung out dope fiend is obviously a problem, regardless of what you do for a living.

 

The idea that being a prostitute screws with peoples heads has no real evidence either way. Plenty of people who become prostitutes are screwed up, but they were screwed up before they became prostitutes. Equally, some attest that it messed them up, while other claim it hasn't affected them at all or has made their lives better.

Not true. There IS evidence to show that both male and females who are involved in the sex industry have a much higher rate of mental health problems attributed to it and also there is a massive amount of drug addiction in that field. Its no secret that alot, the majority, of people who work as hookers do so to fund their drug habits. What does that tell you? It tells me they are doing it out of desperation, not because their dream job was being a prostitute. So, does that mean it was a choice?

 

We can go on and on, its pointless. I disagree with every word you've said.

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to the people who don't have daughters, would you respect your mother or sisters if they were prositutes.

 

That's a stupid question though and has nothing to do with the original point. No one is asking anyone to be "happy" about the situation but would you hate the daughter/sister/mother because of it? What if the reason your mum was a prostitute was to make sure you were fed? Would you still call her a whore then?

 

Plus on Belty's point about the mental side of things, the original question is that she is a high class and safe prostitute therefore I would have to say the intent is to suggest that there are no extenuating circumstances forcing her to be a hooker and that if she wasn't safe or it was mentally upsetting then she wouldn't do it. Any other scenario would put some pressure on her to be a prostitute and therefore as a parent you could try and do something.

 

So it has to be looked at that it is totally her choice to do something she enjoys doing safely but could you live with what she chooses to do knowing that it is "ok" for her.

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If the question is she is some high end hooker who is safe, then the question becomes totally unrealistic. It would be like me asking would you be happy if your daughter could breathe fire, because there is no way to remove all danger/threat from the situation of meeting random men for sex so it becomes as legit a question as that.

 

And to be fair, the reason why somebody is a prostitute is surely irrelevant to the fact she's a whore, right? I mean, if you are having sex for money, you ARE a whore. You're the very definition of the word...so yeah, if your mother was hooking to provide food for you, that doesnt mean she isnt a whore. Whoring for a good cause is still whoring. Thats like saying a drug dealer who deals to feed his family shouldn't be classed as a drug dealer. Makes no sense at all.

 

I could live with it as I'd have no choice, I'd not be happy with it though.

 

And on the topic of being happy about it, I was responding directly to etz who specifically said he would be happy with it.

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I don't think it does become unrealistic, the question isn't about how dangerous being a prostitute is so using that as your answer to justify your position doesn't really work.

 

The question is which would you be happier (so comparative happiness, not your absolute approval) knowing, that your daughter is doing a job you find difficult to deal with but she is happy doing ( to me implying it is safe etc to any reasonable degree and no job is safe 100%) versus your daughter living a "respectable" life but being miserable.

 

You could change prostitute to stripper or porn star or glamour model without altering the real meaning of the question so much.

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I would rather starve. wtf how is it safe, tell me what do they do to assure its safe. do they do police checks, check for stds, do they pat them down or make them walk through a metal detector. load of nonsense.

 

I would rather you starve as well. If you missed the point of the question any further you'd be answering a thread on a different forum.

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I would rather you starve as well. If you missed the point of the question any further you'd be answering a thread on a different forum.

 

id rather your were just a stain on the sheet, my point is I don't agree with either were you think you could live with your child being a hooker. I will let you have a few years to have a daughter if you ever lose your virginity.

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