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Room 101...again.


Naitch
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This has been done before and I believe I put Guy Ritchie, Robbie Williams, Kerry Katona and two others in last time but being the ever changing world of entertainment and being that there are still a boatload more I could mention, this needs done again.

 

Basically, put 5 things from the world of entertainment into Room 101. Could be a film, song, TV show, band, entertainment personality, absolutely bloody anything.

 

Little Britain

 

I don't get it, I just don't get it. It strikes me as the kind of show middle aged, middle class men with floppy hair who drive Jaguars and listen to Keane and Dido love and they all gather around the watercooler in their finance firm and guffaw over the latest stupid bloody catchphrase. 'I WANT THAT ONE! Snort, snort, snort. Oh how bloody hilarious, Philip!'

 

But then I know people who loved it and they're a lot of things but middle class isn't one of them and I was forever being told how HILARIOUS it was and then I watched and I've seen orphanages on fire that were funnier.

 

It is one of those stupid ass catchphrase laden shows that results in absolutely every bloody body in the Western world repeating said catchphrases over and over and over and over and over everywhere you turn until you're screaming for someone to just pass a bloody noose so you can get it over with. David Walliams is also possibly the most heinous, irritating, downright hateable person on television and is so smug, if he were made out of chocolate...he'd masturbate to videos of himself masturbating. Matt Lucas I didn't mind before because he was in Shooting Stars and Shooting Stars is the bee's knees but he erased all that goodwill when he started doing that annoying, stupid, unfunny, smug, terrible bloody show.

 

Catherine Tate

 

See most of the reasons from above frankly (catchphrases that drive me mad, smugness when delivering a line like she just invented comedy or something and so on). She was abolutely bloody everywhere a couple years ago and I just...do...not...get...it. 'AM I BOVVERED?' LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

 

Piss off.

 

The Frat Pack

 

Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson et al. Lump them all in together. Never ever liked Will Ferrell and again, maybe it's being lectured to over and over again about how funny and great something is that ends up, in the end, turning you against it. I was told repeatedly how great 'Anchorman' was and then saw it and thought, to use an internet term: 'Meh, is that it?' He does the same freakin' film every time too with interchangeable sports. Will Ferrell Nascar racing, Will Ferrell ice skating, Will Ferrell playing basketball and so on and so on forever and ever and ever. Stiller I've only ever liked in 'Arrested Development' and, again, it's probably a result of being looked at like I just farted in Church or bitchslapped a pensioner when I say I hated one of his films that automatically turns me against him because, Christ, I'm not some kind of freak from Outer Space if I don't like Ben bloody Stiller.

 

I think it's partly just their whole 'LOOK AT ME, I'M BEING FUNNY. LOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATME' smug demeanour that comes across as really forced and desperate too. For instance, my two favourite comedy film actors of the last X amount of years are probably Bill Murray and John Candy and they never came across like that but that whole Frat Pack group are just detestable.

 

The Kooks

 

If you can name me a worse band on the entire planet then you're a better man than me because, seriously, they. Are. THE. Worst.

 

I've never seen a band before that plays so cynically up to the 'LOOK MA, I'M IN AN INDIE BAND' rubbish like them. They're so transparently marketed and manufactured to look, dress (all 'fashionable' jumpers, hair that's supposed to look like they didn't spend any time on it yet they spent a vast amount of time on it and quirky hats they never remove from their heads), act, sing and so on like any one of those random 'The Something' bands that they may as well have done a degree in 'Indie' or come from some kind of X Factor for indie bands. They're basically just Hear Say. Bunch of middle class, drama school twonks pretending to be working class. Horrible band.

 

As I say, they're just part of that whole bland, interchangeable music scene that's around right now. Can anyone tell me who the bloody Courteeners are? The Macabees? Reverend and the Makers? THEY'RE ALL THE SAME BLOODY BAND and you couldn't pick any of them out of a lineup. It used to be boy and girl bands that dominated the music scene then it was more rap and stuff when Eminem became huge then it was more R&B or whatever then it was all those safe, bland, acoustic singers like Blunt, James Morrison, Paolo Nutini and so on but thankfully they have seemingly died out but now I can't go for a pint of milk without bumping into 14 of those random 'The...' bands wearing skinny jeans and stuff. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.

 

Anyway, The Kooks are the worst culprits and added to the fact that they take themselves so bloody seriously and it adds up to a big pile of hatred. I recall a Popworld interview with Amstell where he was ever so harmlessly taking the piss out of the lead singer (the one who sings in a Scouse accent but talks like the Queen's nephew, the one with the singing voice that literally makes you want to stab your own ears) and his girlfriend, Katie Melua (and, Christ, THERE's a couple. Imagine their conversations. Imagine them and then kill yourself out of the sheer tedium and mundanity of their imagined conversations) and he was taking it all too seriously which is the worst thing you can do in that situation. If he'd taken the piss out of himself, I could maybe respect him a little but he didn't.

 

Anyway, just The Kooks, they're horrendous and if Satan was a band he'd be The Kooks and without being too blunt about it, if you buy a Kooks album, you are a fu*king moron.

 

...and breathe.

 

Novelty ringtones

 

Hey, they count as 'entertainment' I suppose because they play songs. Mobile phones are the bane of existence, throw in half the free world having fu*king 'Valerie' as their ringtone and that blasting in your ear when you're sitting beside them on the bus and you have a certain candidate to burn in the pits of fire in Room 101.

 

That was overly long and rambling but whatever, mmmm, that's some good rant. Internet forums are useful for something at least.

Edited by Naitch
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Reality TV: Especially Talent Show or Big Brother and Shot at Love type stuff. The docusoaps like Airport are okay though.

 

'Music' Television: They barely show music these days it's all just stuff like the aforementioned Shot at Love.

 

English Sports Commentators: They talk about the England team during matches they are not in and also when ever a non english person from the UK wins they are British but when they lose they are Scottish/Welsh/Irish

 

Depressing Soaps: Specificly stuff like Eastenders. In real life I bet most would have topped themselves by now. I just don't get why people watch such depressing stuff.

 

Japanimation: Grrr hate that word, it's not so bad if it's used to refer to things like the Powerpuff Girls that is made in America but rips off anime's style. I cannot abide this word being used to refer to Anime.

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I've never seen a band before that plays so cynically up to the 'LOOK MA, I'M IN AN INDIE BAND' rubbish like them. They're so transparently marketed and manufactured to look, dress (all 'fashionable' jumpers, hair that's supposed to look like they didn't spend any time on it yet they spent a vast amount of time on it and quirky hats they never remove from their heads), act, sing and so on like any one of those random 'The Something' bands that they may as well have done a degree in 'Indie' or come from some kind of X Factor for indie bands. They're basically just Hear Say. Bunch of middle class, drama school twonks pretending to be working class. Horrible band.

 

As I say, they're just part of that whole bland, interchangeable music scene that's around right now. Can anyone tell me who the bloody Courteeners are? The Macabees? Reverend and the Makers? THEY'RE ALL THE SAME BLOODY BAND and you couldn't pick any of them out of a lineup. It used to be boy and girl bands that dominated the music scene then it was more rap and stuff when Eminem became huge then it was more R&B or whatever then it was all those safe, bland, acoustic singers like Blunt, James Morrison, Paolo Nutini and so on but thankfully they have seemingly died out but now I can't go for a pint of milk without bumping into 14 of those random 'The...' bands wearing skinny jeans and stuff. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.

 

The above counts as my first entry, the whole indie scene is a crock of ****. In fact, most of the mainstream British stuff is terrible. The sudden surge of "classy" female singers is dire, I don't even know who they are and I hate them. Which whiney bitch can't decide whether or not to keep chasing pavements? And the other one, Duffy; TEEEELLL MEEEE CAN WEEE EEVVERR BEEEEE. God almighty, and that bit where they try to make it sound a bit live and like she's going to brake the microphone, ugh, bugger off.

 

Gossip Magazines

 

You know the ones, Heat, Now, New, Fresh, Love It, whatever, those ones. They're horrible publications, full of crap that promotes bad thinking, stereotypes, and just plain stupidity. I hate them, they're for stupid people.

 

I'll think of more later. Naitch covered my biggest hate with the indie bashing.

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Basically, put 5 things from the world of entertainment into Room 101. Could be a film, song, TV show, band, entertainment personality, absolutely bloody anything.

 

Little Britain

 

I don't get it, I just don't get it. It strikes me as the kind of show middle aged, middle class men with floppy hair who drive Jaguars and listen to Keane and Dido love and they all gather around the watercooler in their finance firm and guffaw over the latest stupid bloody catchphrase. 'I WANT THAT ONE! Snort, snort, snort. Oh how bloody hilarious, Philip!'

 

But then I know people who loved it and they're a lot of things but middle class isn't one of them and I was forever being told how HILARIOUS it was and then I watched and I've seen orphanages on fire that were funnier.

 

It is one of those stupid ass catchphrase laden shows that results in absolutely every bloody body in the Western world repeating said catchphrases over and over and over and over and over everywhere you turn until you're screaming for someone to just pass a bloody noose so you can get it over with. David Walliams is also possibly the most heinous, irritating, downright hateable person on television and is so smug, if he were made out of chocolate...he'd masturbate to videos of himself masturbating. Matt Lucas I didn't mind before because he was in Shooting Stars and Shooting Stars is the bee's knees but he erased all that goodwill when he started doing that annoying, stupid, unfunny, smug, terrible bloody show.

 

Catherine Tate

 

See most of the reasons from above frankly (catchphrases that drive me mad, smugness when delivering a line like she just invented comedy or something and so on). She was abolutely bloody everywhere a couple years ago and I just...do...not...get...it. 'AM I BOVVERED?' LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

 

Piss off.

 

The Frat Pack

 

Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson et al. Lump them all in together. Never ever liked Will Ferrell and again, maybe it's being lectured to over and over again about how funny and great something is that ends up, in the end, turning you against it. I was told repeatedly how great 'Anchorman' was and then saw it and thought, to use an internet term: 'Meh, is that it?' He does the same freakin' film every time too with interchangeable sports. Will Ferrell Nascar racing, Will Ferrell ice skating, Will Ferrell playing basketball and so on and so on forever and ever and ever. Stiller I've only ever liked in 'Arrested Development' and, again, it's probably a result of being looked at like I just farted in Church or bitchslapped a pensioner when I say I hated one of his films that automatically turns me against him because, Christ, I'm not some kind of freak from Outer Space if I don't like Ben bloody Stiller.

 

I think it's partly just their whole 'LOOK AT ME, I'M BEING FUNNY. LOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATME' smug demeanour that comes across as really forced and desperate too. For instance, my two favourite comedy film actors of the last X amount of years are probably Bill Murray and John Candy and they never came across like that but that whole Frat Pack group are just detestable.

 

 

 

There's three.

 

Four would be reality TV.

 

 

Five would be - Kate Nash and Lilly Allen and the Streets. (Collectively)

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'High School Musical'

 

Maybe it's just me, but how on earth did this get so popular? The most irritating, cheesy and cliched film I've ever seen. I know it's not supposed to be a cinematic masterpiece but come on, there's no need for me to hear otherwise sane people say how they've seen it 96 times, or worse yet, more of these films come out and annoy me further.

 

'My Super Sweet 16'

 

Granted I did enjoy Charlie Brooker ripping it to pieces, but beyond that I honestly don't see why this exists, other than to take the piss out of it's 'subjects'. I'd say the people on here have more money than sense, but they could be flat broke and that would still ring true.

 

Chelsea Football Club

 

I really can't pick anything specific about them, just everything irritates the **** out of me. Up until mid-2003 I never, ever had a problem with this club, but in the last 5 years they've turned into the epitome of what's wrong with modern Football. Horrid behaviour in the Champions League Final, particuarly from guys like Michael Ballack and John Terry (aptly named 'Mr Chelsea'). I'm really not a vindictive person, but the image of him on the ground crying after missing the penatly in Moscow was just simply glorious. His 'apology' the next day was just too hilarious and sums up everything about him, and the club. Of course him spitting on Carlos Tevez doesn't get mentioned at all, quelle surprise, instead we get Jwon Twerry's bwoken hweart, and the unfortunately-inevitable departure of Avram Grant (don't even get me started on that). I really had a dislike for the Arsenal team of a a few years ago, and the way the media fawned over them, but this Chelsea are something else.

 

Wasps/Bees

 

I can deal with spiders, flies etc, but I HATE Wasps and Bees. Stupid buggers who I just can't get rid of.

 

Piers Morgan

 

Why is he on my TV? What have I done to deserve this? He's not insightful or charasmatic and brings nothing to whatever he's a part of. Boring ****.

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Ricky Gervais - Just hate everything he has ever stared in and hate his bloody smugness that comes across in interviews about how he has all these awards and is so sucessful and how great he is at everything ete etc everything about him just irritates me so damn much!

 

Catherine Tate - Much the same as Gervais she just annoys the hell out of me to the point I want to punch her in the face when I see her on TV doing her usual shouting of every word style of line delivery

 

Setanta Sport - I hate this channel with a passion, even more so now that they have got the rights to England friendlies and away Qualifiers and are running ads with the mssage "Its having all this vs Not having it" and charging £10 a month for the privelige of watching my own country try and qualify for the biggest Football tourniment in the world

 

Soaps - I am including them all in this: Eastenders, Corrie, Emmerdale, Hollyoaks, Neighbours... all of them! I find them all boring and depressing like nothing else on TV manages to be

 

Singers/Bands who speak songs rarther then sing - It annoys me so much when I hear the likes of Kate Nash just speaking the words to her songs rarther then actually singing! same goes for The Streets just pisses me off to no end!

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Setanta Sport - I hate this channel with a passion, even more so now that they have got the rights to England friendlies and away Qualifiers and are running ads with the mssage "Its having all this vs Not having it" and charging £10 a month for the privelige of watching my own country try and qualify for the biggest Football tourniment in the world

 

Rubbish picture quality aswell, at least with Sky you get a great presentation for your money (Richard Keys/Geoff Shreeves/Jamie Redknapp aside).

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X-Factor and the lot

 

Why? Why? What's the point? The winners get on the ship for the 1st Album and then get thrown out to go their own road. There has been 5 Series of the German Version of Pop Idol and only ONE has made it big. Mainly because the producer(also the judge on the show) writes the songs and wants to get mainstream like before 20 Years ago.

 

Flavour of Love and the other 2934 Remakes

 

20 Women and 1 wins the love of one Man. OK, then comes another season because it didn't work out in the first place! NO! Even worse, that the likes of Tiffany (New York), Bret Michels, Tila Tequila, some Italian Guy do the same concept and what happens? They probably don't even have a relationship. It is balls and leads to nothing. It's also the crap whats making MTV go down the drain.

 

My Super Sweet 16

 

As mentioned by Citizen Kane already. I just don't understand it. There hasn't been one time where I haven't wished death upon a spoiled, arrogant, demanding brat.

 

Gangst"a" Rap

 

Sorry but this is what brainwashes the youth today.

Mainly the Rappers who write about being in some Ghetto, having Super cars, ugly models acting as prostitutes. The clothing makes me nod, I just dislike people who wear jeans up to the knees and the fact they look like clowns with a pullovers with Dollar signs, New York or Atlanta symbols all over it. Forget socialising, become cool by drinking yourself to death and smoking some pot. These are the people that probably get social money help which is funded by US taxpayers.

I'm sorry if someone may feel attacked by my comments but it's just my opinion and from what i've seen in todays youth in Germany.

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High School Musical - How anyone enjoys this trash i dont know. its just typical american high school garbage. I watched ten minutes of it and just gave up.

 

Garth Crooks - Hes bland, boring and is an annoyance on BBC TV. He enjoys moaning about clubs who have the temerity to score against Tottenham.

 

Any soap that isn't Eastenders - Horrible cursed crap, badly acted, and unrealistic at times.

 

Andy Gray - Its obvious he loves Liverpool and has a poster of Steven Gerrard on his wall, but really, theres being a fan and then have it be reflected on TV a lot. Terrible.

 

Alternative Comedy - Its either funny or it isn't. Dont make up new names for it

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Welsh Water (DWR CYMRU) - I now officially hate them, they admit i was paying for the entire house and not just my flat. They admit I have paid £2000 more than i should have over the three years i lived there. They admit it was their mistake as i had phoned them 136 times written 7 times, faxed three times and e-mailed 120 times. I have logged every one. They admit that they screwed up and it should never have happened. What are they going to do about it, nothing! It is up to me to either get the money out of my land lord or take Welsh Water to the small claims court.

 

Setanta Sports - Why a company thinks it should telephone a client 186 times in three months sometimes seven times a day, text 62 times and write 17 times to ask for £1 that did not come out of my account the first time as my bank screwed up and then Setantas systems could not upgrade to show i had paid it, only when the account was checked was every thing ok and sorry for disturbing me.

 

Holiday Makers - who drive through our little village at 60 miles per hour when there are kids playing on the green and then treat the roads like dirt track and scare the horses and cows.

 

Jellyfish Seriously what is the point they float about sting you on occasion when all you want to do is canoe in the sea.

 

Welsh Haters - Seriously i work for a company whos head office is run in Wales all the managers are Welsh and yet the employees sl** off the Welsh, spit on the flag and basically say anti Welsh statements that really wind me up and sometimes really offend me to the state where if i do not go out for fresh air i am sure i would have hit one of them or all of them by now.

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Andy Gray - Its obvious he loves Liverpool and has a poster of Steven Gerrard on his wall, but really, theres being a fan and then have it be reflected on TV a lot. Terrible.

 

Ha! He's an Evertonian and Rnagers man! Have you never noticed the way when he commentates on Everton, it's not Yakubu, it's THE YAK.

 

I don't mind though. His commentary is genius in places.

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Chelsea Football Club

 

I really can't pick anything specific about them, just everything irritates the **** out of me. Up until mid-2003 I never, ever had a problem with this club, but in the last 5 years they've turned into the epitome of what's wrong with modern Football. Horrid behaviour in the Champions League Final, particuarly from guys like Michael Ballack and John Terry (aptly named 'Mr Chelsea'). I'm really not a vindictive person, but the image of him on the ground crying after missing the penatly in Moscow was just simply glorious. His 'apology' the next day was just too hilarious and sums up everything about him, and the club. Of course him spitting on Carlos Tevez doesn't get mentioned at all, quelle surprise, instead we get Jwon Twerry's bwoken hweart, and the unfortunately-inevitable departure of Avram Grant (don't even get me started on that). I really had a dislike for the Arsenal team of a a few years ago, and the way the media fawned over them, but this Chelsea are something else.

 

 

 

And a reprieve for "the frat pack" because I would gladly suffer them to see Chelsea rot in Room 101 for all eternity. Especially if I could personally push Lampard and Terry through the gate!

 

 

Also if you think Andy Gray is bad - Martin Tyler w*nks himself silly over Arsenal.

Edited by Da Showstoppa
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Oh, I disliked them somewhat too before Roman and his trillions showed up. They had Dennis bloody Wise in their team which automatically made them odious. Could have had Jesus at Left Back, Mother Theresa playing on the wing and Ric Flair up front and it wouldn't have made up for the detestable nature of that little twonk.

 

That whole buying fans thing doesn't help of course and I'm sure that's part of the problem people have with them but having the likes of John Terry, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard in your team who are arguably the three biggest shits in football adds to the hatred tenfold. Besides, I support a team who isn't in the same league as them and isn't even in the same country so unless they show up in the League of Ireland tomorrow, their money doesn't bother me as much as, say, a Liverpool or Man United fan. It's just them in general. I was surrounded by people who HATED Man United before the European Cup final but were willing on United to beat Chelsea just so anyone but them could win it.

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Oh, I disliked them somewhat too before Roman and his trillions showed up. They had Dennis bloody Wise in their team which automatically made them odious. Could have had Jesus at Left Back, Mother Theresa playing on the wing and Ric Flair up front and it wouldn't have made up for the detestable nature of that little twonk.

 

That whole buying fans thing doesn't help of course and I'm sure that's part of the problem people have with them but having the likes of John Terry, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard in your team who are arguably the three biggest shits in football adds to the hatred tenfold. Besides, I support a team who isn't in the same league as them and isn't even in the same country so unless they show up in the League of Ireland tomorrow, their money doesn't bother me as much as, say, a Liverpool or Man United fan. It's just them in general. I was surrounded by people who HATED Man United before the European Cup final but were willing on United to beat Chelsea just so anyone but them could win it.

 

I'm a United fan incidentally - but it was Dennis Wise who started my hatred of Chelsea, add that now to the fact they can seemingly do what they want and most of their fans have become so arrogant + Lampard is a little overrated gobshite and you have a recipe for burning hatred.

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