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My Open Letter To Argos

Guest Clarkey

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Guest Clarkey

The plight of my computer chair.


Dear Argos,


I am writing to you regarding my displeasure with a product which I purchased from yourselves in January.


I had recently come into a few vouchers, so it gave me the thought to go purchase the one thing I’ve needed for a long while, that being a fancy desk chair.


Now, I could have gone to Staples and had my wallet ripped straight from my pocket by a cashier who was wearing a stripy jumper with a register bag that had 'swag' written it, or I could have taken a mission to Ikea, but I didn't like the idea of the chair contorting my spine with its wacky Swedish ergonomics, and I only like their 90p hot dogs anyway.


Anyhow, I decided to take a trip to Argos, as you've got a few (I count 3) stores in Medway, and there is a fair chance that you'd have product at least 50% suitable for my needs, because as they say, if all else fails and quality is not an option, head to Argos.


Anyway, I picked out a chair on your website which looked thoroughly lovely at the time (product number 6178077, the Black Leather-Faced Executive Swivel Chair).


Well I don't believe Alan Sugar would be happy with this chair, and he's certainly the biggest executive I’ve seen on that new fangled Talk Box, but hey ho, I parted with my £50 in vouchers at the time and took my giant box home. I was happy as I’d found myself a chair, and Argos were obviously happy because they'd managed to shift another item that obviously has the build quality you'd expect from a Malaysian sweatshop, but being a red blooded British male, I wasn't going to kick up a stink, after all I wouldn't want to seem weak in front of the woman, all purchases made by myself are final, and even if I pay through the nose for a chocolate fireguard, I still stand by my decision.


Anyway, two months down the line the casters on the chair decide to, well, 'pop off' is the only description I could use. As we speak, the chair currently has two functioning casters on the chair, with the wheels still attached to them. I headed back to your store in Chatham and explained my situation to the 15 year old girl who really should have been working on the Elizabeth Duke counter due to the amount of 'bling' she was wearing.


Anyway, she explained to me that because I no longer had the receipt and the chair was over a month old that I had really not much of a case, and I’d fallen folly to those fantastic consumer laws that protect big business and leave a poor, bewildered student with a wonky chair and a sad frown on his face. He'd been beaten by the Blue and Red (and I seem to recall some green in there).


Anyway, I thought ok, it's not so bad, even though I’d shelled out half a ton for this chair, I obviously was expecting a bit too much quality and workmanship in the product and in the future I should probably be a bit more prudent and realise that if you make a chair so terribly shoddy, it's obviously just a subscription service and the first payment was obviously just the 6 month subscription, which hit me today when it broke and I managed to fall on my bottom with quite a thud. I'm glad no one saw, as I’d probably be a bit embarrassed.


Because, you see, the metal bracket that attached to the chair base decided to buckle whilst I was sat on it, which is never a good plan. And before we go any further I’d just like to point out that I’m not an obese man, I’m not a tall man at 5"4, and 9 st . Now, because I didn't see the massive sticker on it that said "THIS CHAIR IS ONLY SUITABLE FOR 15st 11lb PEOPLE" I’ve fallen folly again to another trait of this Executive Swivel Chair. Oh how I giggled at the thought of Bill Gates falling of his chair in a Board Meeting due to the poor workmanship.


Anyway, the reason why I’m sending this decidedly curt, and rather sarcastic email is because I’m really not impressed that I’ve managed to have a chair for eight months, costing me 50 hard earned notes (that’s a days worth of work to me you know, or twelve years worth of work for the person who built it) and it's absolutely abolished itself, I have no chance of even fixing it.


I was going to write this in the form of a letter like Watchdog always advises, but I can't seem to find an address for a head office on your site, I suppose with enough digging I’d be able to find one but I’ll be honest, all this simply means is that Argos will not get any more of my business.


No longer will I purchase a cheap gold watch for my mother’s birthday or buy my father that executive stress toy he's always wanted. However, I got a duvet from you which is really good but now I’m just waiting for the day where I wake up burnt to death, that is the confidence that has been inspired in me.


I hope you take the time to respond to my issue, I feel it would probably be beneficial to both of us, but like I said my confidence in yourselves has been diminished.


Also, sack that spotty 15 year old, she was rude and is obviously just going to take your company for maternity pay when she pops out her first Chesney or Chelsea.


Much love and admiration


Sean Clarke





Edited by Clarkey
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Guest HTFCacc2004

I actually have the same chair as you, and I swear it was comftable for about the first 2 months of buying it, its not the damn most uncomftable chair I have ever sat on.


Your post doesnt fill with much confidence about its future :(

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Guest Taki

Wow at last someone telling Argos what I've been saying for years. I dont even entertain their products I cant remember the last time I went in there and wont be going in any time soon.



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Guest Nemesis Enforcer
Good for you! great letter and I hope you do get a reply to it, altho they will probably try to fob you off with jargen so make sure to stick to your guns and don't take crap form them :)
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Guest Trash

You began 5 different paragraphs with "Anyway". I also believe there was one "Anyhow" added into the mix...


But anyway... that was rather hilarious. Good lad.


I bought a set of headphones from Argos last month. It was a good purchase.

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Guest Clarkey
Yeah I noticed that Trash, but I wanted to post it in the state I sent it after writing it without the due care of going through it with a fine pick comb. I'd had a few cans of scrumpy and thought I'd rant for a bit, so there was no real intelligence or seriousness behind it. Hence the bad grammar, the senseless ranting during the vast majority of it and the repeating of things. If I was Argos I'd ignore the email on the basis of how poorly it is written, but the response should be fun if theres any. Edited by Clarkey
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Guest tazz xtreme
Clarkey you are the man. When you take any faulty goods to any store across the land you are always greeted by the youngest member of staff posing as a customer service ace. Let me know how you get on perhaps your brand of complaing will work better than me asking if there dads are available!!!!:worship :worship
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Guest carolann

But the laminated book of dreams..... The magical boxes othat check the stock... the troll like figures who bring you your goods... the secret conveyer belt that give no hint as to the bounty that lies beyond....


Gotta love bill bailey.

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Guest Kanenite
Wow, dude that was brilliant. I totally back you up here though as my computer chair from argos is f***ed after 1 month. I hope they reply or they are jackasses, good luck man. The 15 year old bit was LMAO worth.
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Guest Hemme

Yeah good stuff mate, however I suggest you tone down the personal insults towards that girl, sure she might have been a little bit on the incomptent side, but tell them that properly instead of using insults.

That said, it was still a fun read.



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Guest Clarkey

Ah it was nothing serious, and I wasn't actually insulting anyone in particular in the store it was merely a general jibe to provoke a response. The letter is merely a bit of fun, like I said if I was Argos I wouldn't even bother reading it let alone respond to it, but thats half the fun to see if they do. I was a tad aggrieved at the chair especially since they have just reduced the price of them down to £39.99, but to be honest since it was vouchers I used I wasn't really that angry over it, but felt like having a bit of a rant for my own entertainment and to see if I got a witty response.


On that note I found this witty complaint sent to B&Q on another forum which provoked a smile, sent the week Ellen McArthur set the new record for sailing round the world, sponsored by B&Q:


Dear Sir/Madam


My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on

28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive

back 72 days later.


Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?



Yours Sincerely


John Roberts

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