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Rules for men when it comes to women!

Guest Gothic Angel

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Guest Gothic Angel

I have thrown in some living together one too.



Dont be an ass.

Don't lie.

Never tape any of her body parts together.

If men’s night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

If men’s night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting, groping or mauling .

The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?" Theatre, cinema, dining out is good. Arm wrestling is bad.

Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.

Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

"Dear", "Honey", "Darling" and "Sweetheart" are good. "Mot", "Nag" "Fatass", and "Bitch" are bad.

Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a crime.

None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.

Her cooking is excellent.

That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.

Soap is your friend.

Wipe does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.

Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.

Two words: clean socks.

Burping is not sexy.

Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

No means No. Yes means Yes.

Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.

"But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.

Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.

Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.

Don't tell her you love her if you don't.

Tell her you love her if you do. Often.

Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names.

Don't try to change the way she dresses.

Don't let your friends pick on her.

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Guest MojoPogo
But what about the rules for man/child/ape combos like myself? Or is that the same with more bananas, butt sniffing and other such jolly japes?
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Guest MojoPogo
Just answer responsibly...


Ok. thats funny. I laughed my ass off. But only cos i've broken pretty much every rule......as have most guys i'd expect!:D

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