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Some Rules for Women during the World Cup

Guest Alan

By Guest Alan
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Guest Alan

Guest Alan

Posted
Posted

I enjoyed this, maybe you will too.

 

 

For the full enjoyment of your world cup

LIST OF RULES

 

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

 

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

 

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't

mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

 

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

 

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and

please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

 

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

 

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

 

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

 

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

 

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to

watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

 

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

 

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

 

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

Regards,

 

Men of the World

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Guest Gothic Angel

Guest Gothic Angel

Posted
Posted

That is all abit sexist Alan.

Women can enjoy the game and understand football to you know?, Even though i am in the company every weekend with a guy who is obssesed with the game. He has no excuse to tell me to crawl under the T.V.!.

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Guest Hemme

Guest Hemme

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Posted

:thumbsup

Funny stuff dude.

 

But from my experience women football fans are often more rabid than the male fans, check it out in your local when the footys on, I'll bet the women are louder than the blokes.

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Guest Andrew_D

Guest Andrew_D

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I watched the Arsenal/Villareal game with a few girls and going by that night and past experiences, i will be printing this out. Couldn't even grasp who was which colour.
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Guest Alan

Guest Alan

Posted
Posted
That is all abit sexist Alan.

Women can enjoy the game and understand football to you know?, Even though i am in the company every weekend with a guy who is obssesed with the game. He has no excuse to tell me to crawl under the T.V.!.

I know women can enjoy the game, but it was only a bit of sexist fun :P No malicious intent, hence it being in here!

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Guest Jimmy Redman

Guest Jimmy Redman

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Posted
Number 8 is something that non-sports-loving people (yes, they exist) cannot seem to grasp. This infuriates me.
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