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TWOStars Zero Tolerance


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We see a shot of Boyo walk up to a piano with a few wrestlers stood around it. Boyo is wearing a red festive jumper with snowflakes and reindeer on it. Sickness is already sat at the piano, he is wearing a boiler suit. The other wrestlers are also wearing festive jumpers, cords, brogue shoes and Keith Jaxx is even wearing a muff. Boyo smirks and start playing the piano.


Boyo: It seems today, that all that you see


Twiggie: Is violence in matches and SEX on TV


Arkham: Hey that meansies us!


Jaxx: Giggedy


The Judge: But where are those good old tag team values


Dante: For which we used to rely!?


Boyo & Sickness: Lucky there’s The Dark All-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiance


Brett Banner: Lucky there’s a team who


Eagles: Positively mean to


Arkham: All doze thingies that makies us – erm. Keefy, what’s der next bitsy?


Jaxx: It’s why don’t you come back to my place, toots.


Arkham: Oooh can we play on der Ninted-


Gringo: It’s “Laugh and cry”, ese!!


Arkham: Oh yeah – LAUGH AND CRY!


Jaxx: Giggedy!


Boyo & Sickness: We’re. The. Dark. All-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiance!


Scene ends with all the singing wrestlers chinging their brandies and saying “cheers”.


The cameras go backstage to Todd Grisham stood in front of the TWOstars interview banner


GRISH: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are just moments away from seeing the TWOstars United States Championship being defended, right here in Dublin at Zero Tolerance. And with me now, the man who will challenge Violent Vinnie Vengeance for that very title… The Lonely Avenger


The camera pans around. TLA, kitted out, mask and all, seems ready to go as he adjusts his glove


GRISH: Avenger, the odds are stacked against you going into this match. How have you prepared for tonight’s encounter?


TLA: You know what this feels like Todd? I bet people out there think I feel like I’m on death row. Just waiting, only knowing one thing… That the time has come for me to be laid to rest. But the question still remains… just how is it gonna happen? Tazz wants to come out here and stack the deck? Tazz, you can stack the deck as high as you like, but one thing remains… I will climb that stack all the way to the top! And tonight, I make my way back down… with the United States Championship!!!


GRISH: Well, fans have been voting all week on Talkwrestlingonline.com, and the votes are in. They were given the chance to decide between a Gauntlet…………. A Special Referee………….. Or Lumberjack match. Each involving at least one member of the violence injected, Future. The fans have decided……….. Avenger, tonight, you will not only have the uphill task of beating Triple V, but you will also have to fend off the former champion, Trash and Tazz


TLA: Gauntlet huh? The skies in Dublin will part here tonight, as the gates to the Green Hells open………… Violence will bear its ugly head…………… but the horror will consume it!


With that, The Masked Truth rushes out of shot


GRISH:….. Ummmm…… A stunningly confident Lonely Avenger seems to be making his way to the ring. Back to you Joey and Paul


Cameras return to the announce desk


HEYMAN: Hah! Is this guy for real!?


STYLES: Don’t count him out so early, Paul


HEYMAN: Styles! Damn! Come on, Avenger!? Beating THREE guys!?


STYLES: The man deserves better! He’s worked his way up to a title shot and this is how’s he’s rewarded!? Politics, Paul. It’s bull (beep)!


HEYMAN: Politics or not. This may well be his only chance. He’s in there with a former champion, and you of all people should know what Tazz is capable of in that ring


STYLES: Well we’ll see what happens. Looks like we’re ready, take it away Tony Chimel


Camera breaks to usual front shot. The tubby announcer is stood in the ring, referee Charles Robinson behind


CHIMEL: The following contest is the Gauntlet match for the United States Championship! Here are the rules…


HEYMAN: (voice over)… Avenger gets his ass kicked




CHIMEL: The match will begin with the challenger and a representative of the champion in the ring. There will be no tags and you can be eliminated by any means. For the Lonely Avenger to become United States Champion, he must beat all three members of Team Vengeance…


The lights dim within the arena…………… “Lonely World” by Limp Bizkit silently plays


CHIMEL: Introducing first, the challenger!…………. From the Lonely Valley, weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds……….. The Lonely Avenger!


Unlike usual, Loneliness Itself emerges from the curtain, as the green flames shoot up from wither side of the entrance ramp. The concerned fans look on at ringside. TLA slowly makes his way up the steps and through the ropes. The green flames burst from the four turnbuckles as The Masked Truth prepares himself for the arrival of his three opponents…


The Limp Bizkit track is comfortably replaced by the hefty sound of “Violence Fetish”. The arena turns to a chorus of boos. Tazz and Trash emerge and stand parallel to one another at the top the ramp. The all too familiar sturdy iron chair rises up, the Violence Bearer seated on it


CHIMEL: And his opponents………….. The team of The Human Suplex Machine, Tazz……………. Tom “The Disciple” Trash……………….. and the TWOstars United States Champion……………………. Violent………. Vinnie……….. Vengeance!!!


Triple V breaks out from the confines of the chair as the three men make their way down to the ramp. Both Vengeance and Tazz smart wide grins across their faces, relishing the simple task ahead. Trash stumbles about sipping from his hip glass.


The trio come to a halt as Trash and Tazz figuratively create barrier in front of the United States Champion. TLA has a foot on the bottom rope ushering inside the competition


STYLES: So who’s gonna start off for Team Vengeance?


HEYMAN: Don’t think it matters, Styles. Either one of these guys could drop big greenie numero two in a second!


Tazz and the former champion engage in a game of “rock, paper, scissors”………


Tazz is victorious with rock against scissors


STYLES: Looks like it will be the former ECW World Heavyweight Champion starting things off in this gauntlet


HEYMAN: Haha! It was me who taught him to always go with rock!


Loneliness itself takes a few steps back to allow the stocky Future member into the ring. They circle for a while before coming together in a collar and elbow tie up…


The Human Suplex Machine gains the upper hand and has The Lonely Avenger in a waist lock. Tazz goes to pop the hips to throw the challenger over with a german………. TLA resists… quickly reversing the hold into a waist lock of his own and powerfully takes his man off his feet


STYLES: The Soul behind the Mask taking control early on! I suppose you find this somewhat surprising, Paul?


HEYMAN: Styles, we’re 3 seconds into this match and you’re already counting your chickens? Put them back in the pen dammit! You should know that the Tazz Mission can be applied at the blink of an eye; and when it happens, it’s lights out for Avenger


TLA keeps the hands clasped tight, not giving Tazz an inch (apart from the inch of the green rod of doom)


Small contingents of fans inside the Point arena begin an “E-C-W” chant in an attempt to will the favourite on. Tazz makes it up to a vertical bases and pulls himself over to the corner as Charles Robinson steps in to break the up the hold…


… In the spirit of competition, The Lonely Avenger releases, holding is arms up in the air. Seeing his opponents guard drops, Tazz delivers a swift back elbow to the jaw of The Masked Truth. TLA stumbles back, turning away, as The Human Suplex Machine moves in…


STYLES: There it is! The katahajime is locked in!


HEYMAN: That’s the Tazz Mission for you non-ECW knowledgeable fans out there


The challenger, merely dazed by the back elbow is now struggling to break free from the devastating submission….


Tazz sweeps the legs of The Lonely Avenger to bring him down on top of him, the hold still tightly locked in. The Irish fans begin a “T-L-A” chant to get behind their fan favourite


HEYMAN: Good night Irene! He’s fading!


Loneliness itself frantically slaps the mat…


… And manages to transfer his weight to his upper body…












The Brooklyn Thug promptly releases the hold and gets to his feet in utter dismay


HEYMAN: What the hell happened!?



CHIMEL: Ladies and Gentlemen…



Tazz has been ELIMINATED!!!




STYLES: He pinned him, Paul! TLA pinned Tazz! Check out the replay!


The replay roles showing the challenger locked tightly in the Tazz Mission. As TLA rolls back, Tazz’s shoulders are forced to the mat, unbeknownst to the Future member


Referee Charles Robinson ushers the beaten member of Team Vengeance out of the ring. An extremely pissed Tazz goes overly to the equally as “pissed” Trash who is slumped over by the barricade who continues to take gulps from the now empty hip glass


After a slap over the back of the head, The Disciple wakes up…


HEYMAN: Right, time for The Lone Ranger to have his ass severely trashed!




HEYMAN: Beware of drunken people, Styles; they can be dangerous…. VERY dangerous


Stumbling over the apron, Trash slides unconvincingly underneath the bottom rope. The Lonely Avenger is still far away in cloud cuckoo land after a lengthy spell in the Tazz Mission…


However The Disciple struggles to get to his feet


HEYMAN: Get him Trash! Get him dammit!


The voice of the Future is also screaming at his teammate from the outside; who doesn’t seem to be paying any attention…


This buys the challenger enough time to regain his composure


Under the bright lights, the former United States Champion believes he’s in a nightclub… and begins to dance to the YMCA




TLA sneaks up behind



STYLES: The Green Hell is applied! That Full Nelson is synched in! Fingers are locked!


As the challenger shakes the former champion around vigorously, Trash’s face turns pale blue…







A “Holy S****” chant echoes throughout The Point


Charles Robinson, carefully avoiding the meaty chunks, kneels down next to The Disciple… And quickly waves his arms about


CHIMEL: Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has ruled that Tom “The Disciple” Trash is in no state to continue…. And has therefore been ELIMINATED!!!


STYLES: Here we go! TLA and Triple V! Now this is the match these people came to see Paul!


HEYMAN: Like I said before, these people came here to see The Lone Ranger get his ass handed to him; make no mistake about it, there’ll be no slip ups front the Violence Bearer


The United States Champion and his challenger lock eyes as Vengeance steps over the tope rope as the EMT’s remove the drunken Trash out of the ring. TLA does his best to buy himself some time to try and shake off the lasting effects of the earlier Tazz Mission… but Vengeance charges in with the clothesline…


He misses in turning, is met with a kick to the mid section, doubling him over


Loneliness takes a step back and rebounds of the rope, running towards the champion…




HEYMAN: Ooh! That’s gonna leave a mark!


Triple V managed to recover and deliver a big foot to the face of his opponent. This causes TLA the it the mat with some force, his head snapping back


STYLES: The end could be nigh already, Vinnie’s fresh and focused on unleashing that violent streak


After some stiff kicks to the back of head, Triple V moves in on his man, placing his shin between the shoulder blades of The Lonely Avenger, cranking back on the neck


HEYMAN: More pressure being applied to the neck and throat area. Smart work by the champ…


STYLES: People wondered how Vengeance would do without the guidance of Da Meltz, maybe tonight is his chance to prove it against his already weakened opponent


HEYMAN: Styles, please! You really think Darkstar would hire some one who couldn’t get the job done!?


STYLES: Well I seem to remember around One Night Stand time, he wasn’t able to get it finished against the ERE stars


HEYMAN: That was then, this is now; he’s the US champ!


The Irish crowd is firmly behind the challenger who continues to fight the hold. Avenger is able to get to his feet and connect with some elbows to the midsection, forcing the Violence Bearer to release his grip


He tries to throw a big right hand but his fist his caught by Triple V. Vengeance snaps TLA towards him, dropping him back down to the canvas with his patented short arm clothesline


The United States champion grins down at his fallen opponent, inciting the live audience inside The Point arena


Pulling Avenger back to a vertical position using the straps of the mask, Vinnie whips him with some force into the turnbuckle. Seeing his opponent slumped, Vengeance begins to run at him…


STYLES: Triple V going in for the kill here…



But The Soul Behind The Mask telegraphs the move as the Violence Bearer this time goes crashing sternum first in the lightly padded turnbuckle


STYLES: Could this be the momentum shift!?


Seeing an opening, Avenger quickly regains his senses and ascends to the second turnbuckle on the inside (classic Monsoon)…


He launches himself at a staggering Triple V…





HEYMAN: Thanks for coming! This one’s done!


STYLES: Vengeance caught him on the way down with that devastating spinebuster! Straight into the cover!




















STYLES: Shoulder out! TLA rolled the left shoulder out as the referee’s hand was coming down for the three count


In typical fashion, the failure to get the victory, the Violence Bearer appears to be losing his cool… He gives out the sign to finish it…


The champion raps his right arm underneath the back of the head of his opponent, bringing it round and locking in…


STYLES: Truth Hurts! The Dragon Sleeper is synched!


HEYMAN: And I do believe this one is DONE!


STYLES: This move focusing on the same are as the katahajime! TLA’s air circulation is being cut off yet again in this match up!


Charles Robinson dips in and out, avoiding the flailing arms of the green masked challenger for the United States Championship…


… Avenger seems to be fading…


STYLES: Time to check those hands…































STYLES: There’s still some life left in him!


As the hand begins to drop down, The Lonely Avenger begins to feed off of the energy of the live crowd. Fists pumping, he manages to arch back and get the soles of both feet planted firmly on the mat


HEYMAN: There’s no easy way outta this hold, Styles. TLA’s gonna have to dig deep on this one







STYLES: He hit it! He hit it! The reversal into the Meeting With Horror!


HEYMAN: Ok, props to TLA for that, but with both men down, we’re back to square one


Avenger had managed to get enough momentum to swing around, releasing his head from the clutches of the Violence Bearer and forcing his opponent downward with the modified STO


Referee Charles Robinson begins the count on both champion and challenger…


The crowd chant along…
















Both competitors begin to stir…








The United States Champion is up to one knee…




As is the challenger…




The Violence Bearer stumbles up to a vertical position…




He breaks the count as he has The Lonely Avenger in is clutches. TLA begins to fight back as the two exchange a flurry of lefts and rights


STYLES: Amazing! We’re back to square one yet again!


Vengeance use is superior brawling to gain the upper hand… He whips his opponent to the opposite side and ducks the head for the attempted big back body drop…


STYLES: Telegraphed by The Masked Truth!


With Triple V doubled over, Avenger hits the ropes again…


STYLES: Could he be going for The Guillotine!?… He does!



But the champion has it scouted, and bursts out, catching the challenger are driving his back into the mat with a devastating spinebuster


STYLES: Vengeance into the cover!




















HEYMAN: Dammit!


STYLES: He kicked out!


Tazz can be heard from the outside screaming at his Future teammate to finish him…


The signal comes for the end… The Circle of Trust is imminent…


The Violence Bearer powers his two hundred and fifty pound opponent up onto his broad shoulders… He begins the pendulum movement…


HEYMAN: Cover your ears Styles! This is gonna be one hell of a landing!!!






STYLES: Circle of Trust reversed! The Lonely Avenger floors Vengeance with the Burning Breathe!!!


The replay shows TLA being swung around on the shoulders of the United States Champion. On the way down, The Soul Behind The Mask somehow manages to land on his feet to the delight of the Irish crowd


With Triple V unaware, he lifts up his much bigger opponents and drives Vengeance’s spine down into his bridged knee


With the live audience going crazy, TLA prepares to lay it all on the line and ascend to the top…


STYLES: If he hits this it’s over!


HEYMAN: Move Vinnie! Move!


As camera’s flash inside The Point; The Lonely Avenger takes a leap of faith from the third story…




STYLES: Lonely Splash! This one’s done! Into the cover!!!





























The bell sounds


CHIMEL: Here is your winner…


Everyone waits in anticipation of the verdict…


CHIMEL:…………….. As a results of a disqualification…. The Lonely Avenger!


Tazz, realising the imminent loss, slid into the ring and pulled the leg of Triple V to get him out of the cover


STYLES: Oh come on! This is bull(beep)!!! TLA has been screwed out of a title yet again! Tazz got himself pinned, someone should’ve been out here to send him back to the locker room!


HEYMAN: Now come on, Styles? Send him to the back? You realise there’s only one man who could make that call, and that’s Darkstar. You really think he would leave even the smallest chance of TLA coming away with the gold here tonight?


CHIMEL: However……… STILL United States Champion… Violent Vinnie Vengeance!!!


“Violence Fetish” blares out from the PA system inside he Point arena, drowning out the distaste of the thousands of fans in attendance


STYLES: Avenger fought his way through two men in getting to the champ, and he had him beat! He had him BEAT!


Vengeance is propped up underneath the arm of his fellow Future member and escorted up the entrance ramp, leaving The Masked Truth somewhat agitated in the ring


A frustrated Lonely Avenger turns his attention to Charles Robinson after the champion and Tazz disappear through the curtain…


The referee gets locked into the Green Hell… The crowd stare in amazement


HEYMAN: Aw, has the baby thrown his toys outta the pram?


Road agents storm the ring to attempt to break TLA’s grip on the Flair look-alike. After a good minute in the hold, The Masked Truth releases the full nelson. “Lonely World” fills the arena


STYLES: Avenger seems to have found a mean streak; how will he come back after this loss? He’s sure to be on XTV this Thursday

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The scene fades to The Dark Alliance locker room, Boyo and Sickness are both

in their wrestling gear, Boyo in his green wrestling trunks and white boots.

Sickness in his white blood-stained t-shirt, denim cut-offs and big black

boots. The crowd boo.


Boyo: Now then, Mr Sickness - I think we should do one final song before our

big match tonight. Follow my lead.


Boyo sits down at his piano and Sickness sits by his side on the stool.


Boyo: After three, Mr Sickness: One, two, three...


Boyo & Sickness (singing):

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

The tag titles at Christmas

A flaming reality.


Open your eyes

Look up to the skies and scream...



I'm just a poor Boyo

I need no sympathy


Boyo & Sickness:

Because it's easy come, easy go

Cloverleaf, tappin' schmo



Any way you tap out

Doesn't really matter to mee-ee

To me...


*Boyo plays some sombre piano*



Sickness, just killed a man

Put his arms around his head

Snapped his neck and now he's dead

Sickness' match had just begun

But now he's gone and thrown his foe away!!


Sickne-ee-ss ooh-ooowoohoo-oooo

Didn't mean to make him die

He snapped his neck when all he really wanted -

Was to carry on, carry on

But the victim was so battered...


*Boyo plays a little bit more piano*



Too late, your time has come

I'll send shivers down your spine

You'll be tapping all the time


Goodbye Mr Redman

And Mr Judge

Come and fight the Dark Alliance and FACE the tru-uth!


Sickness oohwoohoowoo-ooo!!


I sometimes wish there were no flaming tables at all!


*Suddenly Sickness pulls out a Stratocaster and plays it with his teeth!*



I see a high flying monkey called Redman

Scarramoush, Mr Judge, can you do a fan-dango?

Thunderbolts of lightning not as bloody frightning as me!

Or Mr Sickness


Sickness: Mr Sickness!


Boyo: Mr Sickness


Sickness: Mr Sickness


Boyo: Mr Sickness is just so


Sickness: Magnifico-woah-woah-woah



I'm just a poor Boyo, nobody loves me



He's just a poor Boyo from a poor family!

Beware of your spine or you'll tap to the cloverleaf!



Easy come, easy go

Will you let me go, Paul Heyman?


Sickness: No! He will not let us go! Let us go!


Boyo: Paul Heyman!


Sickness: He will not let us go! Let us go!


Boyo: Paul Heyman!


Sickness: He will not let us go!


Boyo: Let us go!


Sickness: Will not let us go!


Boyo: Let us go!


Sickness: He will not let us go!


Boyo Oh let us go-woah-woah-woah!


Sickness: No no no no no no NO!


Boyo: Oh Mr Sickness Mr Sickness


Sickness: Mr Sickness let me go!


Boyo: Bielzebub! Have the tag belts got a sign for me?


Boyo & Sickness: For me?


Sickness: For MEEEEEEEEEE?!


*Another rip-roaring guitar solo from Sickness, who plays his Stratocaster

with his teeth!*



So you think you won't tap out and lose the tag titles?!

So you think you'll avoid a poke in the eye!?

Ohhhhh Redman!

And your idiot boyfriend Judge

You're just gonna go through, just gonna through some flaming tables!!


*Sickness' guitar playing know no bounds as he lets rip on the 6-string

gee-tar. Then he slows down and plays a lush melody*


Boyo & Sickness:


Ooooh yeah, Oooooh yeah



Nothing really matters

Anyone can see

Nothing really matters

Except those tag team titles

To meeeeeee...


*Boyo plays the piano some*


Boyo: Any way your spine goes....


*Sickness smashes his face off a big brass gong*


The final scene is a sneering Boyo and Sickness with a fresh blood wound on

his forehead (from the gong-shot)...

Edited by Paul
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Back from Christmas Promo


JS: Well folks after that special Christmas Message, lets take you back to Tony Chimmel standing by with our next match up


TC - It is now time for the Television Championship match, Please welcome the special guest to announce your choice of match, So please welcome JOHN FASHANU


“The Gladiators” Theme hit’s the PA system, As the former host of gladiators and Wimbledon striker steps out from behind the entrance way with mic in hand


JF - Hello Ireland


This brings a cheap pop from the Irish crowd


Heyman - What a cheap pop Joey, He couldn’t even get the Wimbledon crowd to pop like that when he score a touchdown


Styles - In Europe, Its called a goal


JF - So your choices are ( the three choice come on the TWOtron as Fash is talking) A pillow Fight ( A hand full of the crowd cheer for this one), A blindfold match ( even more of the Irish crowd cheer), And your final choice is The gladiators match ( the crowd goes wild for the final choice), Well the live crowd would like gladiators, But how did you vote at home


The camera points to the TWOtron as some funky music starts to play


Pillow Fight --------- 9%

Blindfold match ------------- 46%

Gladiators------------- 45%


JF - And the winner is Blindfold Match


"Insane in the Brain" begins which indicates that the level of insanity is about to increase.


Arkham walks out onto the staging, Followed by Jaxx and Cole, He smacks the side of his head a couple of times before walking down towards the ring, the crowd cheer as he approaches the ring.


TC - Making his way towards the ring first, The challenger, Being lead to the ring by S.E.X, He weights in at 320 lbs, From the local insane asylum, ARKHAMMMMMM


As he gets to ringside he uses the ropes to pull himself into the ring, he pulls on the top rope a couple of times as though testing that it's going to hold him and his opponent.


The cheers from the crowd and Insane in the brain die down, And is soon replaced by “Got Your Money” and the crowd begin to boo and jeer, Knowing this means Chris Eagles is on his way out here


Heyman - How can they put this man in a blindfold match


Styles - Arkham is in the same boat Paul


Heyman - What’s boats got to do with this match ?


Styles - It’s a saying Paul


As Eagles steps from behind the curtains TV title in his hand, The pyros explode behind the TV champion as he struts down the walkway to a chorus of boos and jeers, Eagles throws the TV title under the bottom rope and rolls in under the bottom rope after it and gets to his feet quickly, a sneer on his face as the crowd boo the 'Richest Man on XTV'.

Got Your Money stops playing as MDM climbs on the turnbuckle, And starts taunting the crowd with the TV championship, Who in return boo and jeer him, Eagles stands there looking around at the booing crowd with a grin on his face


Nick Patrick calls both Arkham and Chris Eagles over to him, As he stands there with blindfolds in hand, He looks like he’s explaining the rules before turning to Arkham, And placing the hood on to Arkhams head


Styles - Arkham now cant see a thing folks


Heyman - And with that hood, We cant see him, Thank god


Styles - Oh my god Arkham is jumping up and down


Heyman - Maybe Keith Jaxx, Does it to him all the time


Styles - And you call Michael Cole sick


Heyman - What


Patrick helps Arkham into his corner where Doctor Handsolo can be seen whispering into Arkhams ear


Heyman - Get that puppet down from there


Styles - Why its not hurting anyone


Nick Patrick turns around and starts to walk over to Eagles, But is pushed to the ground by the TV champion


Heyman - Ha, Looks like Eagles is being smarter then Arkham


Styles - He cheating


Eagles goes to punch Arkham but Arkhams Doctor shouts to him to duck which he does, Making Eagles miss Arkham, MDM looking pissed off, Looks at the hand puppet, Before knocking it off the top of the ring post to the arena floor


Heyman - Finally someone shuts that puppet up


Styles - There was no need for that


The former Million Dollar Corporation man sees Arkham on his hands and knees trying to find the ropes to pull himself up, Eagles walks up to him and drops an elbow straight into the lower back of the insane one to a mass amount of booing from the Irish crowd


Heyman - Eagles could have this won before the match starts


Styles - And he wouldn’t feel bad for cheating


Eagles pulls Arkham back to his feet, As Nick Patrick try’s to move him away and put the hood on him, But Eagles again pushes the former smack down ref down knowing he cant be disqualified, As the bell hasn’t rang yet, And continues his attack on a blindfold Arkham, The crowd start the boo and jeer the TV champion as he kicks Arkham straight into the ribs, As he lays face front on the mat


Styles - Why don’t Eagles be a man, And put the blindfold on


Heyman - Why should he ?


Styles - Because it’s a damn blindfold match that’s why


Eagles once again goes to pick Arkham up but is met by a right hand from the insane one, This cause Eagles to release his grip on Arkham, Eagles try’s for a second time but the same result, Eagles now looking pissed off grabs the hood where the ears of Arkham are and pulls him up only to be met by another fist, But this time straight in the mouth


Styles - Go on Arkham


The crowd cheer Arkham on with every right and left that connects with Eagles chin and head area, The crowd now going nuts as Eagles fails to get out of the way of Arkham final punch right on the side of MDM’s head sending him to the mat


Styles - Arkham cant see, But he’s still fighting back Paul


Heyman - That was a lucky punch


With Arkham on his hands and knees trying to find Eagles, Ted DiBiase rolls into the ring and grabs Arkham, Who starts to fight back thinking it’s the TV champion, But from behind Eagles who still isn’t wearing his hood nails a low blow just as the big man got to his feet


Heyman - Lovely Joey, Just lovely, Arkham finally makes it to his feet, But the champ sends him straight back down again


Eagles rolls out of the ring and walks over to the time keepers table, And throws Tony Chimmel to the floor and folds up the steel chair he was sat on, And throws it into the ring


Styles - Now what ?


Heyman - I don’t know, But it doesn’t look good for the former tag champ does it


Eagles looks over to where Nick Patrick is and sees Ted DiBiase on the ring apron, As the ref isn’t looking DiBiase throws something towards Eagles that he picks up and takes the small lid off


Styles - What the hell is he doing ?


Heyman - What ever is in that bottle he’s rubbing it into his hands and wiping it over his face


Styles - That’s fake blood Paul, But why ?


Heyman - Watch and your see


Arkham gets up to his knees, As MDM lifts the chair above his head, Still looking to see where the ref is, Seeing the ref still with The Million Dollar Man, Eagles swings the chair connecting with Arkhams head sending him down onto his back, Eagles grins as he drops the chair and falls onto his back himself, The ref turns around to see both Eagles and Arkham down, But he also sees the “blood” on Eagles head, As the crowd start to cheer and a EDDIE chant starts around the arena


Styles - That’s the first time Eagles has every been cheered isn’t it Paul ?


Heyman - Well I don’t know, But anyone could get the crowd to cheer, By doing something that the late, Great Eddie Guerrero


Styles - Unless its you Paul


Eagles gets to his feet but is stopped by the ref, As he try’s to go after Arkham again, But stops after seeing that Doctor Handsolo is back on the ring post, Eagles backs away and Nick Patrick tells Eagles to put his hooded blindfold on, DiBiase sees the hood on the mat, As Patrick is talking to Eagles, the legendry rich man rolls into the ring, And grabs the hood before rolling back out and throwing a hood from out of his pocket into the ring, The ref turns around and sees the hood, Patrick picks the hood up and places it on to Eagles head, And ties it up, before waving his hand about


Ding, Ding


Styles - Finally, Nick Patrick can get this title match underway


Heyman - See Eagles is help to wear the hood


Styles - But why did it come from DiBiase’s pocket ?


Heyman - Maybe its made for Eagles


Styles - So he’s still cheating, I bet he can still see through it


Heyman - He’s Chris Eagles, Why does he need to cheat ?


Styles - Have you been watching this match Paul


Both men back are in there corners, After Arkham used the ropes to pull himself up, As the match finally gets underway


Ding, Ding


At the sound of the bell, Arkham and the TV champion using the ropes, Start moving around the ring, Arkham drops to his knees feeling around the mat for the double award “winner”, With Arkham on his knees, Eagles stops and drops to his knees too


Styles - Why the hell is he doing that, He can see, And you know it


Heyman - All I can see is Eagles wearing a hood, The same as Arkham


Arkham still patting the mat trying to find MDM, But as the camera pans back to the TV champ, He’s back on his feet holding the top rope moving towards The Big Man


Heyman - There getting closer Joey


Styles - Damn you Paul, Eagles knows Arkham is there, The cheating rotten b…….


Heyman - Look


The Insane One grabs the ankle of the richest star in TWO, But before he could do anything, MDM stamps on the other hand causing Arkham to release the ankle, Eagles drops the elbow on the back of the former tag team champions head, As MDM goes for another elbow, But Arkham moves out of the way, Eagles goes after him, But stops and places his hands over his face but turning to where the ref is standing, Nick Patrick points at Eagles who holds his hands up


Styles - BUSTED


Heyman - Eagles hasn’t done anything wrong


Styles - He has been cheating


TC - The ref has informed me that if Chris Eagles doesn’t change his hood, He will be disqualified


This bring cheers from the crowd, Who haven’t looked to be enjoying the match soon far and had been very quiet


Eagles pulls the fake hood off, Before shouting at Nick Patrick, Who in return starts a to count






The crowd start to join in the count
















Te………. Eagles grabs the hood from the ref, And places it over his head


Styles - Finally, We have a fair fight


Heyman - I cant believe this is happening


Eagles slowly makes his way towards the ropes, But now he doesn’t see The Insane One points straight at him to which the crowd shout yes to, Arkham jumps up and down, Before running at speed towards Eagles, Who has made his way to the corner


Styles - That had to hurt Paul


Heyman - Get the EMT’s, Eagles could be hurt


Eagles holding his ribs as Arkham pulls him up, Only to send him back down again with a hard power slam, As Eagles hit’s the mat, He doubles up in pain holding his back, The Big Man begins jumping up and down clapping his hands as Jaxx and Cole cheer him on


Heyman - Look at that, Its makes me sick


Styles - Why ?


Heyman - Look at them


Styles - They just happy for Arkham


Eagles back to his knees as The Insane One try’s to find him, But before Arkham can do anything, Eagles nails a low blow, Send the big man down to his knee in a lot of pain


Styles - Arkham has had a right beating so far Paul


Heyman - That’s why Eagles is champion Joey


As MDM gets back to his feet, He pulls the S.E.X member up with him, And nails him with a couple of right hands, Before whipping him against the ropes, But not being able to see him, Eagles and Arkham clash head sending both men down to the mat


Styles - Now, That was silly, And you call him a smart champion


Heyman - Everyone makes mistakes


The crowd are finally on they feet, As the match kicks into live, Leaving both men down and Nick Patrick starts his count








Heyman - If both men don’t get up, Eagles keeps the title










Both men start moving about Arkham on his knees, And Eagles rolls over to the ropes




Styles - Get up Arkham, Get up




Te………. Just before the ref can count ten, Eagles pulls himself to his feet breaking the count


Heyman - Why didn’t he stay down and keep his title


Styles - Maybe, He’s more of a man then you though


Eagles and Arkham slowly moves away from the ropes, Not knowing that the other man is behind them, Both men bump into each other, Causing both men to turn around, But before Eagles can do anything, Arkham grabs him and nails him




Arkham makes the cover!











PH: Bwhahahahahahaha!


JS: What the….? The referee is down! What did I miss?!


PH: Call yourself a Play by Play man? Check this replay out.


A replay is shown of Arkham lifting Eagles in preparation for the Insanity Unleashed, with Eagles legs catching the referee square in the face!


PH: Finally fate intervened! Arkham should not be the man to represent our company as Television champion!


The crowd suddenly makes a huge commotion…


JS: I apologise for this, we seem to have some unruly fans in the arena tonight!


PH: Maybe they’re just excited because they know Eagles is going to retain!


A masked fan suddenly hops the guard rail whilst being chased by security guards…


JS: See, unruly fans! Get the camera off that *******!


The production team obviously don’t get the message as they are still focused on the fan struggling with security…


JS: We still have a match going on!


PH: Eagles is out cold and Arkham crawling, trying to wake the referee up! Not as interesting as this!


One of the security guards starts to shudder uncontrollable and the other one backs off the fan immediately.


JS: What’s going on now?! We need more security down here! Is that a cattle prod?!


PH: He’s getting into the ring!


JS: Good God!

Arkham hears the noise and approaches the crazed fan…..


JS: OH MY GOD~! Arkham just got shocked by that Cattle Prod! Where the hell is arena security!


PH: I don’t agree with fans hopping into the ring uninvited! But I like what he just did to Arkham!


JS: Arkham’s doubled up in pain - he looks completely out of it!


The masked menace gives Arkham a still boot to the midsection and nails a……




PH: Looks like this fan, isn’t a fan at all!


The masked man drags Arkham by the scruff of his neck and places his on top of the fallen Eagles…


JS: What the hell! What in God’s name is going on?


PH: The referee is stirring!


JS: He’s going to count the fall!








































The crowd don’t know how to react. Both Arkham and Eagles remain down on the canvas.


TC: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner and Neeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww TWOstars Television Champion, Arkham!


JS: Where the hell is security!


PH: This masked man is a genius! Look - he’s getting back in the ring! This time he’s got a chair!


JS: Somebody stop this anarchy!


The unknown man rolls Eagles out of the ring and chases the groggy referee to the outside too.


PH: I think he’s going to remove his mask and hood!


JS: Then he can get banned from every arena in the country!


The man lowers his hood……
























…he removes his mask……….




















Retromark lifts the steel chair high above his head…




JS: Chairshot right to the face of Arkham! He’s busted wide open!


PH: This is great!


JS: Get him out of here! The new Television champion is being mauled


Suddenly the majority of the Two Stars locker room pour out of the dressing rooms and hit the ring!


JS: Retromark is going to get what’s coming to him now!


RM takes a powder out of the ring and escapes through the crowd!


JS: I don’t believe it Retromark just attacked Arkham! But then gave Arkham the cover! He’s crazy; the guy is crazy Bah Gawd!


PH: Yes! Yes! I like this new Retromark!


Fade to Shopzone commercial

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Back from Shopzone commercial, can you believe it The Retirements of Slim Jim is only $2.99!!!


Cuts to a shot of the ring, Tony Chimmel is in the ring as “Haunted” by Evanescance kicks in and the crowd pop.


Styles: Ohhh my, this one should be huge!




Chimmel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Tornado Rules Flaming Tables match for the TWOStars Tag Team Championships!! The winners are the team who put BOTH of their opponents through a flaming table. Making their way to the ring, the Tag Team Champions, The Judge and Jimmy Redman!!


The Judge and Redman appear on the stage, showing off their belts to a big pop from the crowd. They make their way to ring, slapping hands with the fans, before climbing into the ring and raising their arms to the crowd, to a bigger pop.


Styles: The tag team champions are as popular as ever, Paul


PH: Pffft, these guys are nothing compared to The Dark Alliance! You know, I really fear for The Judge and Jimmy Redman tonight!


Styles: I wouldn’t concern yourself too much, Paul E. These guys are the TWOStars Tag Team Champions, that means they are the best in this business.


PH: Whatever.


Styles: “Whatever”?! Paul, Jimmy & The Judge accepted the challenge from The Dark Alliance and even had the guts to accept any stipulation for this match, leaving the voting for our great fans.


Evanesance fades out as the arena goes pitch black for a few moments.


Styles: What the hell is this?


The words “DARK ALLIANCE” appear in big white gothic lettering on the Titantron as the crowd boo and “Climbing Up The Walls” by Radiohead kicks in.


PH: The best damned Tag Team of the 21st Century is what it is, Joe E.


Chimmel: And the challengers, they are Boyo and they are Sickness…The Dark ALLL-I-ANCE!!!


The crowd boo loudly as Boyo appears on stage first, he is wearing his green wrestling trunks, white boots and white headband.


Styles: This man is such a jackass, Paul.


PH: This man could kick your damned ass so have some damned respect, sir!


Boyo is followed by Sickness who is wearing his ill-fitting white t-shirt with bloodstains on, denim shorts and big black boots.


Styles: And here come the protagonist of this match, Paul. It was Sickness who wanted flaming tables for Zero Tolerance, and he sure well got them.


PH: Sickness is the Ultimate King of the Ring, Joey – I think a lot of people forget that. The man can get what he wants.


Styles: He even got Santa to give him flaming tables a few weeks back on XTV.


PH: Futurama was right! Santa is an evil killing machine.


Styles: Or it could just have been Boyo in a costume.


PH: Same difference.


The Dark Alliance make it to the ring. Boyo hops nimbly up the ringsteps, wiping his feet on the apron before climbing in. Boyo then holds the ropes open for Sickness to climb in the ring – which he does. The crowd boo.


Styles: Would you say The Dark Alliance are the favourites for this match, Paul?


PH: You damned right I am, sir.


Styles (sarcastically): And not the tag team champs?


PH: No f’n way, man. Let me tell you why The Dark Alliance are favourites for this match! The Dark Alliance have been around for 19 months, Judge and Redman have been partners since Survivor Series – a month ago. That was their first match as a team and the only reason they won that match was because after Sickness here took both Redman and The Judge clean out-


Styles: - With a steel chair!!


PH: - and only after Jordi Warner walked out of the match, did these guys win the gold. Don’t forget The Dark Alliance have already held the TWOStars Tag Team Championship.


Styles: So if you were The Dark Alliance, what would your approach be?


PH: I would isolate the weakness’ in each of Judge and Redman. The Judge is a clinical, methodical wrestler with some high impact moves, much like Boyo, so I would rush The Judge, force him into errors, don’t give him the time to get his thinking cap on. I would get Boyo to attack Redman because Boyo is not a spot monkey like Redders, and the last thing you want to do when coming up against a spot monkey is to try to match spots.


Styles: So how do you beat The Dark Alliance?


PH: With great difficulty, Joey. If I were facing Sickness I would try to lure him into dangerous situations before attacking. The guy is so bloodthirsty he would do harm to himself if it meant you would bleed more. Let Sickness wear himself out before attacking Boyo 2 on 1.


Styles: And that’s before you light a table on FIRE and put your opponents through it!?


PH: That’s right, Styles, that’s right.


“Climbing Up The Walls” fades out as the arena lights come back on and all four men are left in the ring, staring at each other.


{DING DING} Match underway. The crowd roar encouragement to Judge and Redman.


Styles: And Boyo and Sickness have come into this match with a lot of confidence, haven’t they Paul?


PH: And why shouldn’t they?


Styles: I’m just saying that we’ve seen some rather, erm, unconventional talk coming from Boyo going into this match. Strong words. From a piano.


PH: Boyo is harmonious Styles and you should appreciate Boyo’s song-writing abilities!


Styles: He didn’t even write those songs!


Boyo and Sickness talk in the ring as Judge and Redman hand over their belts to the referee.


Styles: All four men in the same ring at the same time, this could be manic and dangerous and a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it affair.


The Dark Alliance rush Redman and The Judge; Sickness attacking Judge and Boyo going for Redman. Sickness and Judge trade punches before Sickness gains the upper hand and starts pounding on Judge and pushing him into a corner. Boyo goes for a raised knee on Redman but Redman counters with a leg-drag takedown to a big pop.


Styles: Mixed start here for both teams.


Sickness drags Judge to his feet and headbutts him back to the canvas before mounting him and delivering closed fisted punches to the prone champ.


Redman drags Boyo to his feet and Irish Whips him. Upon Boyo’s return, Redman attempts a drop-toe hold but Boyo avoids it, then stops and stands over Redman. Boyo goes for a slap to Redman’s face but Redman moves his head and catches Boyo’s arm, then grabs the other, and sticks his foot in Boyo’s gut and flips Boyo over his head. The crowd pop.


Styles: Great Monkey flip by Redman on Boyo. You can tell the crowd liked that one, Paul.


PH: But what they’re not appreciating is Sickness’ brutality on The Judge, Joey! This is crucial, one of these teams has to take advantage of the other and it will take a bit of magic from either The Judge or Boyo.


The crowd are booing Sickness’ persistent rule-breaking due to closed fisted punches on Judge but loving Redman’s dominance over Boyo.


Styles: The referee has got to do something about Sickness, Paul. He can’t be allowed to punch our champ, The Judge, with closed fisted punches like he is.


PH: And that’s the beauty, or the tragedy if you will, of a Tornado Rules match. The referee can only watch half the match at one time so there’s always scope for manipulation of those rules.


Styles: But that’s not fair!


PH: It may not be fair, Joey, but when the Tag Team Championships are on the line then the winning team are invariably the team who adapts quicker to the stipulations of the match.


Redman goes to the fallen Boyo and locks in an armbar on the Welsh jackass.


Styles: Redman displaying early dominance over Boyo right now, and if I were Redman I would want to dispatch Boyo for a few moments so I could go and help my tag team partner.


Sickness drags Judge to his feet, still in the corner, and headbutts him before biting Judge’s face! The crowd ROAR their disapproval as the ref rushes in to literally drag Sickness’ clamped jaws off of poor old Judge.


Styles: Why doesn’t the ref disqualify Sickness!?


PH: Because he’s also got to keep an eye on Redman and Boyo!


Styles: Redman and Boyo!? As if Redman is a dirty wrestler!


Redman still has Boyo locked in the armbar, and with the armbar locked in, drags Boyo to his feet before punching Boyo on the back of the head, punches Boyo right ribs, and locks in an abdominal stretch. The crowd pop.


Styles: Great wrestling here from Redman, unlike Sickness.


The ref has pulled Sickness away from Judge and out of the corner to another big crowd pop.


Styles: The ref needs to remain strong in this match, for the sake of the tag team championships!!


Sickness shoves the ref out of the way and goes to attack Judge again and the crowd boo this.


Styles: Hey you can’t do that to a referee!!


PH: Sickness can do whatever the hell he wants, Joey, and you’d be wise to remember that. No one controls Sickness. Not a referee, not you, not even me.


Styles: Not even Boyo?


PH: Mr Boyo may be the exception to the rule, Joey. I don’t know how he does it but Boyo is a cerebral mastermind over Sickness.


Styles: Do you think the electro-shock rumours are true..?


PH: What are you talkin’ ‘bout, fool?


Styles: What I’m talking about is the talk that Boyo uses a cattle-prod to control Sickness.


PH: Oh will you stop?! Those rumours went around waaaay back when The Dark Alliance competed in the ERE. They died along with the federation.


Sickness lunges in with a rugby tackle on Judge but Judge counters by using Sickness’ momentum and hoisting the Dark Alliance monster by the waist, over his shoulder, and dumping him on his back. The crowd pop loudly!


Styles: GREAT spine-buster by The Judge right there, Paul.


Meanwhile, Redman has Boyo in a lot of trouble, still in that abdominal stretch. The crowd are encouraging Redman. Redman takes advantage of the ref being occupied with Judge and Sickness so he reaches for the top rope, grabs it, and unleashes even more abdominal hell on Boyo.




Styles: That’s the beauty of Tornado Rules matches, Paul E, you said it yourself. Redman is doing unto Boyo what Boyo would no doubt do to Redman given half a chance.


PH: Are you insinuating that the honourable Mr Boyo is a cheat like Redman!?


Styles: No I’m saying Redman is a cheat like Boyo, Hahaha!


PH: Funny.


The Judge sees Boyo in a lot of trouble and immediately rushes over to heap more pain on the Welsh Wonder. He delivers a vicious elbow to Boyo’s exposed ribs. Boyo cries out in pain as the ref cottons on that Redman has a-hold of the top rope.












C’mon Redman!


PH: “C’mon Redman!?” Disqualify the s.o.b!


Redman lets go of the top rope, and then Boyo, before he and Judge double team the jackass. They both Irish-whip him to the opposite ropes before delivering a huge double back-body drop to Boyo that sends him flying over the top rope and crashing to the floor outside. The crowd pop HUGE!!


Crowd: Holy SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!


Styles: WHAT A HUGE MOVE BY JUDGE AND JIMMY REDMAN!! And they’re not finished yet.


The Judge gets on all fours as Boyo struggles to his feet outside. Redman runs to the opposite ropes as the crowd murmur and rise to their feet.


PH: What’s this lunatic gonna do NOW!?


Redman uses Judge as a spring-board, lands with both feet on the top rope before propelling himself what must be 20 feet in the air, executing a stunning corkscrew, before crashing down on Boyo’s chest, knocking the jackass off his feet, and taking a lot out of Redman himself.


Crowd: HOLY SH*T (repeat to fade)…


Styles: OH!


PH: Oh


Styles: MY!


PH: Shut


Styles: GAAAHHD!!


PH: Up.




PH: Are you done? You’ve forgotten to say “death-defying”…


Styles: What a move that was by Jimmy Redman!!


PH: But has it come at a cost to him self?


Meanwhile back in the ring, Sickness attempts a sliding baseball tackle when Judge is on all fours.


Styles: Watch out for Sickness –


Judge jumps out of the way and both men get to their feet quickly. Sickness goes for a haymaker of a punch on Judge but Judge avoids it and counters with a clothesline that sends both men careering over the tope rope to the outside. They land in a heap on Boyo and Redman.


Styles: The Judge and Redman have such heart, Paul. They don’t care about their own well-being, they just want to defeat The Dark Alliance at all costs.


PH: But they’ll have to be careful – I don’t think this approach is the best approach when facing a team like The Dark Alliance. If you have a suicidal gameplan then you will tire yourself out just as quickly as your opponents and once you’re tired you will make mistakes.


Styles: And the last person you want to make a mistake against is a man like Boyo because he has the ability to take a man apart.


PH: That’s right, Joey, and don’t forget about the man with the resilience of 10 men – Mr Sickness. When you think you’ve beaten him, making yourself the walking wounded as well, you’ll then find that Sickness has a little more in the tank than you do.


From a pile of bodies, The Judge slowly gets to his feet first and looks to the crowd who shout:


Crowd: We want tables! We want tables!


Styles: And the crowd want to see some hot table action, as if this wasn’t action enough!


The Judge runs his finger across his throat and the crowd roar!


Styles: This is it!


The Judge lifts the ring apron and pulls out a table and the crowd pop loudly.


Styles: It’s the first table of this match, Paul, and it’s The Dark Alliance who are in the most trouble.


PH: Let’s see what The Judge can do with this table – does he even know what to do with a table!?


Styles: I’m sure he does, Paul. I’m sure he does.


The Judge sets the table up outside the ring and drags Sickness to his feet.


Styles: The Judge has targeted Sickness as the man on trial and The Judge is the prosecution right now.


PH: No he isn’t, he’s the Judge.


Styles: No, I meant – ah forget it!


Sickness is looking a little woozy but suddenly he lets out a blood-curdling war-cry before stomping in Judge’s midsection and powerbombing Judge –




Styles: But it doesn’t count! It doesn’t count! The table wasn’t on fire, Paul. This shouldn’t count.




The crowd cheer as the referee makes it clear that Sickness did NOT get an official fall on The Judge.


Styles: Great call by the referee right there –


PH: I guess so. It was a big call after all…


Styles: But it highlights what you said about Sickness’ resilience earlier on tonight, Paul. The Judge perhaps got a little bit complacent and Sickness fired with a warning shot –


PH: And what a warning shot. He powerbombed one half of the tag team champions straight through a table to the floor outside!


From underneath Jimmy Redman, Boyo summons Sickness over and Sickness drags Jimmy Redman off his tag team partner, by the NECK(!!) and the crowd boo this.


Styles: Sickness has no respect for anyone, that’s a man’s neck.


PH: Why would Sickness care a jot for Jimmy Redman!? His main concern is getting his tag team partner, the irrepressible Boyo, back into this match!


Groggy Boyo reaches under the ring and drags out a table and tosses it to Sickness. Boyo then drags out another table and throws it in the ring. Boyo reaches under for a third time and pulls out another table, smirks to himself , and then smashes the table over Jimmy Redman to a massive crowd boo!!


Styles: Classy. Real classy.


PH: What goes around comes around, Styles. You know that and I know that – and Jimmy “use the top rope when applying an abdominal stretch” Redman certainly knows that!


Styles: Oh per-leez! You’re telling me that grabbing the top rope to gain leverage is anything like SMASHING A TABLE OVER A DOWNED OPPONENT’S HEAD!!?


PH: …


Styles: Well!?


PH: Same principle.


Styles: Pfft.


The ref grabs the table off of Boyo and throws it to the floor as the crowd cheer this. Sickness sets up his table outside and then is ordered by Boyo to grab something else from underneath the ring. Sickness reaches under and feels around for something.


Styles: What could this monster have stored underneath that ring!?


Sickness feels around a little more before pulling out.


PH: Ha!


Styles: A bottle of Jack Daniels!?!


The crowd cheer this loudly, and then even more as Sickness yanks the lid off and takes a big swig!


PH: Sickness is a legend, Joey – what ELSE are you going to use to set something on fire?


Styles: (gulp) Oh Gawd…


Sickness reaches back underneath the apron, feels around a bit – and a little bit more before pulling out metal canister and handing it to Boyo, who smirks evilly. The crowd boo.


Styles: And if that wasn’t enough – Sickness has just handed his tag team partner, the nastiest, biggest jackass of them all – Boyo, a blowtorch. The Dark Alliance hold all the cards right now, The Judge and Jimmy Redman are in big trouble.


Sickness saunters into the ring, takes a swig of the Jack Daniels and puts a finger in the air, he then pours a load of bourbon onto the table before putting a finger from the other hand into the air.


PH: You know what Sickness is saying, don’t you, Joey? He’s telling the table right there, one swig of whiskey for you, one swig of whiskey for me. See, I told you Sickness shares his things!


Boyo grabs The Judge by the ears outside the ring and Irish-whips him into the ringsteps outside. They come apart, the noise is very loud!


Styles: Boyo with a nasty move on The Judge right there, and look at the impact!


PH: Boyo is regarded many to be a city-slicker in the ring. He is flashy and cocky with some great moves but people may think he doesn’t do rough-housing very well. Well I ask you to look at The Judge here being decimated by a ring-step, by Jimmy Redman’s senses being blasted into oblivion by a table to the head, and tell me that Mr Boyo doesn’t do rough-housing!


Styles: It’s easy to rough-house someone with the use of a steel ring-step and with the help of a table, Paul…


Boyo smirks to the crowd and when they boo him he knocks some little boys’ big cup of soda over himself, making the little boy cry. The crowd boo more.


Styles: Oh you big man! You big bully! You’re a jackass, you make me sick, Boyo!!


Boyo rolls The Judge into the ring and then goes after Jimmy Redman. He drags Redman to his feet but Redman attempts a spirited recovery!! Redman throws a few punches!! The crowd POP HUGE AT THIS!!


Styles: COME ON JIMMY!! Redman’s not done, yet Paul, he’s still in this.


But Boyo sticks a thumb in Redman’s eye to nip any momentum in the bud. The crowd boo this again.


Styles: Oh I don’t believe what I’m seeing here, Paul – Boyo gets away with murder yet again!


PH: It’s the old poke in the eye trick, Joey! No one does it as well as Boyo


Styles: BUT IT’S CHEATING, Paul!!


PH (in a whiny tone): But it’s cheating, Paul. CHEATING SCHMEATING Joey!


Boyo Irish-whips Redman into the crowd barrier before following up with a spinning 360 Tornado Punch that sends Redman crashing over the crowd barrier, into the crowd.


Styles: Shades of the late, great Texas Tornado Kerry von Erich, Paul; and I must admit if there’s one impact move that Boyo does well then it’s that move – The Tornado Punch.


PH: You ignorant fool, there are many moves that Boyo does perfectly!!


Meanwhile, inside the ring, The Judge is stirring, but not for long. Sickness drags him to his feet, locks in a hammerlock and also locks in a chinlock so The Judge is staring at the arena roof.


Styles: I think I know what’s coming, Paul.


PH: Bee-yoo-tiful.


Sickness kicks the back of Judge’s knees, so they buckle, and he then drops to one knee, taking Judge with him, with the hammerlock and chinlock still locked in! The crowd gasp!


Crowd: *Gasp!*




PH: The Judge is in serious trouble now, not many people take a Darkness Falls from Sickness and live to tell the tale.


Sickness looks to Boyo (who is throwing Jimmy Redman back over the crowd barrier to ringside), and Boyo gives Sickness another order. Sickness obliges. He picks a limp Judge to his feet and carefully-ish dumps him onto the table as Boyo rolls Jimmy Redman into the ring. The crowd are booing loudly!


Styles: The Dark Alliance look set to take total control of this match-up right now, Paul. By hook or crook, they’ve overcome the strong start to this match made by Jimmy Redman and The Judge.


PH: They were always going to, Joey. The Dark Alliance may not endear themselves to the fans like The Judge and Redman do, like Retromark and Arkham did, like *shudder* S.E.X. do, but no one with argue with their clinicism.


With The Judge lying prone on the table, Sickness stands with his back to the table, behind Boyo, who sets up Jimmy Redman for an Irish-Whip.


PH: It’s two birds with one stone!


Styles: Oh my God, The Dark Alliance are going to take both Jimmy Redman and The Judge out of this match in one swift Annihilator Powerbomb! They are gonna slam Jimmy Redman THROUGH his partner, THROUGH a flaming table!! I can’t look…


Boyo hands Sickness the blowtorch and Sickness sets the table alight, The Judge is laying prone on the flaming table. The crowd murmur and buzz.


PH: The Dark Alliance have set the table on fire and this is virtually the end of this match, surely!? Come on, boys!!


Styles: Where did your impartiality in this match go?!


PH: It went when The Dark Alliance were created in my honour!!


Styles: Oh, not this story again.


Boyo Irish-whips Jimmy Redman and then performs a back body drop to Redman. Sickness catches the flying Redman on his shoulders, and turns 180 in order to powerbomb Redman AND THE JUDGE into a fiery hell – as well as a loss. But –




In an instant, Jimmy Redman uses Sickness’ momentum and reverses the powerbomb, turning it into a –




PH: I don’t believe it, Joey!


The Judge manages to roll off the table and out to the floor outside where he grabs one of the fire extinguishers and sets it on himself, as some of his wrestling attire is in flames, but not much. Meanwhile, Jimmy Redman sends Sickness crashing through the flaming table to a MASSIVE CROWD POP!!






Styles: It happened because The Judge and Jimmy Redman have got GUTS, Paul! It happened because The Dark Alliance got a bit cocky!


*A replay shows The Dark Alliance going for an Annihilator Powerbomb but then Redman countering the Sickness 180 powerbomb and sending the disturbed monster through the flaming table*


Styles: What a counter that was by Jimmy Redman! Snatching the upper hand from the jaws of defeat, The Judge and Jimmy Redman only need to put that JACKASS Boyo through a flaming table and they will retain their tag team titles!!


Redman starts to get up from delivering the Hurricarana but Boyo (who was still on his feet) gets him in a reverse headlock from behind and falls back, planting Redman’s spine over his knee!




PH: This is great survival by Boyo here. He knows he is the target for the tag team champions so the first thing he does is go for the attack!


Styles: I’m still in SHOCK from what I’ve just seen Jimmy Redman do to Sickness, Paul E – I can’t believe it!


Sickness rolls woozily out of the ring to get some respite, but gets none as The Judge punches him in the face and delivers a DDT to the floor outside.


Styles: And The Judge is gonna do what he can to take Sickness out of this match! He knows Boyo can be beaten, he knows Jimmy Redman can pull this one out of the bag!


PH: I don’t think Jimmy Redman has the moxy or the savvy to beat a man like Boyo one on one.


Styles: I think he has plenty of moxy, Paul.


Boyo picks up Jimmy Redman and scoops him up over his right shoulder, runs across the ring and delivers a crunching Running Powerslam.


Styles: Huge impact on that powerslam by Boyo on Redman.


Boyo then picks up Redman again, runs across the ring again and delivers a second hard Running Powerslam.


PH: Boyo going for the trifecta of Running Powerslams…


Sure enough, Boyo scoops Redman over his shoulder a third time and delivers a third huge Running Powerslam. Boyo then smirks to the crowd. Who boo.




PH: We haven’t seen that move in a long while, Joey Styles – we used to see it every week in the ERE!


Outside the ring, The Judge sets up a table, pours a liberal amount of Sickness’ Jack Daniels on it and sets it on fire with the blowtorch. The crowd buzz.


Styles: And outside the ring, The Judge is setting Boyo up for the second table hit.


Boyo is too occupied beating up Jimmy Redman to notice. Boyo sticks a knee on Redman’s windpipe before the ref starts counting.










Boyo breaks the illegal hold. Only to do it again.










Ref: Come ON Boyo!!!


Boyo breaks the hold and, like the God-forsaken jackass he is, grabs both of Jimmy Redman’s wrists, sticks his boots into Redman’s shoulders, sits back, and pulls. The crowd boo loudly as Redman screams in agony.


PH: Hahaha!! The Boyo Wrencher! I haven’t seen this since 2004 sometime. My gosh, Joey have you ever seen this move before? Boyo can end careers with this move.


Styles: It’s a disgusting move is what it is!


PH: Wrong. It’s dislocationtastic!


The Judge has seen enough and climbs in the ring and kicks Boyo right in the back of the head to a) free his partner and to b) hurt Boyo immensely. He succeeds in both aspects.


Styles: Ouch! What a thunderous –


PH: Illegal.


Styles: - kick that was from The Judge. And now he wants to finish Boyo off.


The Judge delivers an unnervingly quick snap Suplex to Boyo, and then another, followed by a Michinoku Driver, followed by a classic outlawed Piledriver. Boyo is laid out on the floor.


Styles: If anyone wants to go to Wrestling University, I believe that course is called “Ass-Kicking 101”. Wow, The Judge really nails those Piledrivers, doesn’t he? He eliminated Twiggie from the Survivor Series with a Piledriver.


PH: Too bad they’re illegal – although the Michinoku Driver was well executed.


The Judge drags a dazed Boyo to the ropes and steps through himself so he is on the outside of the ring, on the apron, with his back to the flaming table. He then punches Boyo in the gut to buckle him over before hooking him up for a Suplex. The crowd murmur and buzz with anticipation.


Styles: Don’t tell me…THIS COULD BE IT RIGHT HERE!!


PH: Is The Judge going to Suplex Boyo from the ring, through a flaming table, to the floor outside!?!


Styles: You betcha God-damned wig he will, Paul!!


The Judge hooks Boyo up, and then hoists him up…


Styles: He’s lifted him! Boyo’s up in the air!


















…The Judge keeps Boyo held upside-down for a few seconds. A classic Stalling Suplex if there ever was one!


Styles: Mah Gawd look at the strength of The Judge!















…The Judge holds Boyo, and then falls back…




















…Boyo is hurtling towards the flaming table on the outside!!






Styles: DAMMIT NO!!


From out of nowhere, Sickness rushes towards the flaming table and dives straight through it! Boyo lands on top of him.


PH: Ha haaaa!! Sickness you crazy sunna-bitch!!


Styles: Sickness has saved the match for The Dark Alliance! Sickness put himself through a flaming table to keep the match alive for The Dark Alliance. Sickness saved Boyo’s ass, Boyo has no idea.


PH: And that’s why The Dark Alliance are going to win this tag team match, Joey! They’ve got such team spirit. Sickness would literally DIE for Boyo. Sickness knows that it has to be BOYO who goes through the next flaming table because he’s already been put through one.


Styles: Sickness is going to be sporting some more scars after this match, Paul. But I wonder if Boyo would do the same for his tag team partner?


PH: Of course he would, idiot!


Sickness gets straight to his feet and picks up part of the former flaming table, now a flaming 2 x 4, and attacks The Judge with it. The crowd boo this.


Styles: Sickness is breaking the rules yet again, and The Judge is in no state to defend himself, he’s just landed heavily on the floor after that Suplex attempt.




From out of nowhere, Jimmy Redman flies through the middle and top ropes and delivers a HUGE cross body to Sickness!




The crowd pop HUGE as Jimmy Redman fights hard for his team, punching and kicking Sickness as Boyo stirs.


Styles: Jimmy Redman has got the better of Sickness once already tonight and bah Gawd almighty I think he’ll do the same again!!


Jimmy Redman hooks Sickness’ arms and spins 180. He’s going for an Unprettier to the floor outside…


Styles: Mah Gawd, Redman could END Sickness here!


However Sickness struggles and counters by getting Redman in a Full Nelson.


PH: But how Sickness has responded! The man can do almost anything with a Full Nelson locked in, even make one of those “ship in a bottle” things!


Boyo is back to his feet and he drops to one knee, pointing to his bent leg… Sickness grins evilly.


Styles: No, what have these two jackals got planned?


Sickness runs up the apron with the Full Nelson locked in on Redman, before turning 180 in mid-air and smashing Redman’s face off of Boyo’s knee.




PH: This is a clinic in brutality, Joey.




Boyo grabs the last table from ringside, tosses it in the ring, and grabs the Jack Daniels and the blowtorch. He smirks to the crowd. They boo him.


PH: This is the beginning of the end, Joey…


Boyo sets up the table and empties the Jack Daniels over it, keeping the blowtorch handy. Boyo instructs Sickness to pass him the almost lifeless Jimmy Redman. Sickness dumps Redman into the ring so he’s at Boyo’s mercy.


Styles: What a coward, going for the beaten man.


Boyo then orders Sickness to get The Judge into the ring. Sickness throws Judge into the ring before quickly getting in the ring.


Style: All four men are in the ring now, Paul – and what evil does Boyo have planned?


PH: I bet it involves fire, tables, and Jimmy Redman and The Judge, haha!


Simultaneously, The Dark Alliance set Redman and The Judge up for Powerbombs. Sickness hoists The Judge up before powerbombing him straight to hell. Boyo hoists Redman over his right shoulder and holds him there so Redman is staring at the arena roof. Boyo then drops to one knee and Redman’s spine is then bent the wrong way.






PH: This is awesome stuff.


Boyo orders Sickness to help him lift the almost lifeless Jimmy Redman onto the whiskey-drenched table. Sickness obliges and the crowd boo.


PH: One down, one to go…


Boyo then swaggers over to the blowtorch, smirks at the crowd, and then sets the table alight with Jimmy Redman still on it!! The crowd boo, murmur with excitement and look scared all at the same time.


Styles: Make this quick Boyo you sick, sick, son of a BITCH!!


PH: Savour the moment boys, is what I say!


Once again, Sickness stands behind Boyo with his back to the table as Boyo sets up The Judge with an Irish-whip.


Styles: Annihilator Powerbomb coming up, their second of the night – and they got this wrong last time.


Not this time though. Boyo back body drops The Judge, Sickness catches Judge on his shoulders, spins 180 and POWERBOMBS THE JUDGE THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE – THROUGH JIMMY REDMAN – to the canvas.








“Climbing Up The Walls” kicks in as Fink takes the mic.


Fink: The winners of this match and NEEEEEEEWWWW TWOStars Tag Team Champions…Boyo and Sickness, The Dark ALLLLLLLIANCE!!


PH: The Dark Alliance are back where they belong, Joey Styles! At the top of the pile!


Styles: I’m not taking anything away from the brutality that The Dark Alliance showed tonight, especially Sickness, but take nothing away from The Judge and Jimmy Redman. They put in one hell of a show and upset the new Tag Team Champions – The Dark Alliance - on more than one occasion.


The referee hands both Boyo and Sickness their Tag Team Belts. Sickness just stares at his blankly and Boyo hugs his to his chest.


Styles: Well there was a hint of controversy the last time The Dark Alliance won gold in TWOStars, it came at The King of the Ring from out of the blue, but by hook or by crook, they’ve worked their way to the top of the tree again.


A fire extinguisher is being used on Jimmy Redman and The Judge, both are laying flat out on the canvas surrounded by bits of splintered wood and bits of charred table.


Styles: If you wanted evidence of how messy and brutal a flaming tables match is, folks, you’ve got it right there. I think The Judge and Jimmy Redman may need to spend a night in intensive care or something.


The Dark Alliance walk up the aisle and hold their belts aloft to a mixture of a big crowd boo and rapturous applause.


Styles: Well the fans here don’t like The Dark Alliance but they are showing appreciation for a hard fought match.


PH: It’s called RESPECT, Styles, and The Dark Alliance are now the most respected tag team in TWOStars – possibly the world…!


The scene fades out as The Dark Alliance celebrate and “Climbing Up The Walls” gets a bit more airplay.


Cut to TWO World Heavyweight Championship video

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Back from Championship run down


Todd Grisham is stood in the TWOstars interview area. Looking rather dapper in his Matalan suit.


Grisham: Ladies and Gentleman, what a nights it’s been already here in Dublin. Some shocking events but none more shocking than the return of Retromark


Retromark walks nonchalantly into picture, standing opposite Grisham, trying his best to look down his nose at the TWOstars reporter


Grisham: Mr Retromark, how can you defend those actions tonight? You run into the ring, destroy your former tag team partner Arkham and then have him cover Christopher Eagles, thus making Arkham the Television Champion


RM: Firstly, Grisham. The name is Scott Andrews not Retromark. Secondly, Grisham. If you can’t get my damn name right then I have no comment for you


Grisham: But what....


SA: No Comment


Grisham: The actio...........


SA: NO Comment


Grisham: So how doe.........




Andrews shoves the mic into the face of Grisham before turning and walking away from the intrepid reporter.


Cut to footage of TWOstars superstars going to see our troops in war torn Doncaster. Man that place is a war zone!

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Back from Warzone footage


JS: And now ladies and gentleman a match with a lot of history… a match with a lot of hatred and a match that could usher the return of an ERE has been as we…


PH: I believe Joey the term is superstar… Anyway we know one man who is gonna be in… in fact winning this match…


JS: Paul how big a snorkel do you need to get that far you Deadman’s ass?


PH: Hey Joey Fu….


All of a sudden “You’re gonna Pay” hits and the crowd boos HUGE as Deadman slowly walks out onto the staging area.


JS: What was that Paul, the truth hurt?


Heyman: Joey you just can’t stand the real truth… regardless of which former-ERE superstar tags with THIS man right here the fact remains… The dream team is going down…


TC: From Burnley, Lancashire, weighing in at 258lbs…. He is the Owner of Extreme Revolution Entertainment…… Deadman!


The crowd booing now intensifies as Deadman starts his walk down the ramp towards the ring.


Heyman: Ha, these losers can boo all they want but THERE is the man who changed the face of this industry…


JS: They said that about you as well Paul… And now you both work here… how strange…


Deadman has now got down to ringside, his eyes turning, evil stares handed out to the crowd like candy. Deadman walks towards the steps and climbs up them onto the apron before he steps through the ropes.


JS: You’ve gone quiet over there Paulie…


Heyman: I’m just watching the biggest superstar alive TODAY make his entrance and paying him the proper respect he deserves…


Deadman walks around the ring taunting the fans on all sides of the ring causing them to boo him more,

Deadman just gives out his usual wicked grin before heading towards the corner as "You're gonna Pay" fades out….


JS: And now we go to Todd Grisham to find out who will be the partner for Deadman… Will it be Sam H, Chris2K or Mitchell Anthony Jones…?


PH: I’d pick either one over Gringo or Holt any day of the week Joey…


TG: Ladies and gentleman… The votes are in, the decision made and the fans wishes granted yet again here on TWOStars Zero Tolerance… So with out further a due let’s reveal Deadman’s mystery partner…. It’s Sam H!!!


"Badd to the Bone" plays and the crowd start cheering loudly as Sam walks out on to the stage. He stops and raises his arms as some pyro goes off.


PH: No, NO, NOOOOO Not him!


JS: Thought you’d pick anyone Paulie?


PH: Yeah… but he be… err… it doesn’t matter, Deadman can take them all on his own anyway…


TC: From Worthing, West Sussex, weighing in at 275 pounds… He is a former ERE champion… SAM H!


JS: Say what you will it seems Sam has stayed in great shape…


PH: Well he is ERE, this match regardless of what Deadman thinks of him and what he thinks of him, well it’s a big deal…


JS: And maybe a TWOStars contract…


PH: Shut up Joey, Sam was a lot of things but at least he was ERE…


In the ring Sam poses on one of the turnbuckles and walks past Deadman and slings his jacket over their head without even looking at or acknowledging him….


JS: No lost there as you can tell people… But now for the TWOStars Nightmare Team…


The lights dim and the crowd buzz as Not Listening by Papa Roach booms through the in house speakers.... Brooding dark red and green lights flash and spiral around the ramp and ring and pyro explodes as the Evil Gringo emerges from the back, eyes full of rage, ready for war with his Mamcita, Becki standing proudly behind her man...


JS: Here he is… The former champion hell bent on destroying Deadman…


TC: From Manchester, England… Weighing in at 210lbs, he is the Mexican Sensation… THE EVIL GRINGO!!!


PH: Pah, Sensation my ass…


JS: Well that’s the first time I’ve heard your ass and sensation in the same sentence that didn’t include huge Paulie…


PH: You looking for a black eye Joey…


JS: No, just my last pay check from ECW… Seen it anywhere?


Gringo gets halfway down the ramp before turning to Mamacita and motioning to the back… she points towards the ring but Gringo nods his head…


JS: Seems the Gringo wants to fly solo on this one…


PH: Well look what happened to the ho… I mean Becki two weeks ago… Wasn’t much help there was she?

Gringo walks forward and stops in front of the ring and turns around, his new T-Shirt on show to the crowd… Deadman and Sam H have seen it and lean over the ropes and try and goad him into the ring… Gringo is quite content to lie on the barrier and shake hands with the fans and motions for a microphone….


EG: Holla my hombres! You seen my shirt…


The camera pans in and you see the No Fear sign on the front before Gringo turns around once more…


EG: That’s right chico’s, you read that right… If you can’t run with the big dogs then don’t piss on the tall trees homes! Now time for my partner hombres… Ese, hit HIS MUSIC….


The opening rifts of “You don’t see the signs” hits the arena PA


The arena darkens, only illuminated by the green graphics on the tron until the former World Heavyweight Champion, The Incredible Holt brushes the curtain to one side and makes his way out to the stage

He takes a couple of paces forward, the camera showing the caption – THE INCREDIBLE HOLT before a waterfall of white pyro masks Holt and the ramp from view before the former champ marches through….


TC: And his partner, hailing from London, England. Weighing in at 297 pounds he is the former TWOStars World Heavyweight Champion, ladies and gentlemen, The INCREDIBLE HOLT!!!


Holt joins Gringo in front of the ring and the two rush the ring…. The ref steps in between the two teams and Deadman steps onto the apron behind Sam’s back… Gringo and Holt have a brief discussion before the Big Greenie steps out onto the apron as well…


JS: Looks like Sam H and Gringo will start this out, the first time ever I believe these two have ever been in the ring…


PH: And I’m telling you Joey it will be the last time Gringo is in one… Stupid move, after all he’s giving up size, weight and he’s got a busted neck…


Gringo and Sam to start as referee Jack Doan calls for the bell…. The two promptly CHOP the **** out of each other!


JS: God good, feel the intensity!


Gringo grabs Sam’s head and unleashes a barrage of short kicks… But they are no sold and Sam just stands up and smacks his own head!


PH: Well where there is no sense…


Elbows… hard, hard elbows are now thrown by the Gringo as once again he seeks the early advantage… But once again no effect!


JS: SPINNING BACK ELBOW!!! But Sam is still unfazed!


PH: ENSI!!!!!!!! Sam breaks out some new stuff and down goes the Sensational one… hahaha…


Gringo is down and favouring his neck… Deadman gets the tag and nonchalantly steps on Gringo's head, much to the displeasure of the crowd….


JS: Looks like you where right… The ERE pair going straight after Gringo’s injured head and neck…


Deadman scoops up the hurting Gringo and drops him with the SNAKE EYES!


JS: And he steps on Gringo's head again! Hey, where the hell are they going!


Out onto the apron and Deadman tries for a choke slam!


PH: Goodnight Gringo… Time to meet the reaper!


Gringo is blocking it though and the Sensation elbows away, wailing hard on the temple of Deadman in desperation…


JS: Good god that elbow just sent the Deadman all the way to the floor!


Deadman hit’s the barrier hard and Holt chips in with a…


JS: Diving elbow off the apron from the former champion!


PH: Awww come on ref, get them the hell back inside and stop this bias!


Back inside and Holt whips the dazed Deadman into the ropes… the former ERE owner ducks the lariat on one side but is caught coming back with…


JS: Tilt-a-whirl slam by the Big Greenie! What strength… Cover!








PH: Not nearly enough… Deadman could kick out of those all day…


Deadman gets hung up on the ropes and the crowd dig the reversal of fortunes on the big man… Holt works an abdominal stretch…


JS: Looks like the hurt is on the Deadman tonight…


PH: Just a momentary set back, just a momentary set back…


JS: Paulie you said that when ECW lost its TV, give it up!


Deadman is getting to the ropes so Holt releases him and then drops a HUGE leg…. Cover…









PH: Kickout once again by the toughest man in the business…


JS: Says who?


PH: Me…


JS: Oh, well Paulie, you do say a lot of things…


Holt walks over and tags Gringo as the Deadman gets to his feet… He turns round to be met by Gringo who comes back in with….


JS: Ode to Kenta… Beautiful!


PH: Who’s wearing the snorkel now?


Gringo isn’t done and he hoists the former ERE owner up in a Spinning back suplex… Cover…










PH: Ha, a hatrick of kickouts… Like ERE you can’t keep a Deadman down…


JS: Well no, not if he’s a zombie…


PH: Shut up… what the NO, NO, NO!


JS: The Triangle Lancer is on!


Gringo has the move snitched right in…. Deadman is trashing about in an attempt to get the ropes again…. The crowd is excited… They sense a tap but Deadman gets a foot out and onto the ropes…


JS: How many lives is the Deadman gonna lose tonight…


PH: Er… None… He’s dead duh!


Sam H comes in to get some retribution but Gringo backs off and Jack Doan gets in the way of the ex-ERE champion… Holt takes the opportunity and comes in with the jumping knee…. Gringo catches the re-bounding Deadman…


JS: EXPLODER SUPLEX... Gringo into the cover!










PH: Only two thanks to Sam coming in and getting the save…


Holt spills in as well and clotheslines the former ERE champion outside as the Deadman is still down and Gringo ascends the turnbuckle…


PH: Frog Splash! Gringo just ripped off Eddie Guerrero!


JS: It’s called paying respect… and that’s a cover…










JS: Gringo just can’t get it done…


PH: No change there I see…


Gringo looks pissed off and hauls a limp Deadman up… He looks for the…


JS: Skullburner… If he hits this its all but over Paulie!


PH: Hahaha but Sam stops that…. And Deadman is up!


JS: Chokeslam!!! Out of nowhere! ERE are back in this! Sam gets the tag!


Knee drop on the fallen Gringo from the former ERE man and Deadman dives in with an elbow drop as well… Sam looks for the powerbomb…


PH: He’s going for the H-Bomb… Oh good night Gringo, good night!


JS: But wait… it's blocked into a hunancanrana!


PH: Will you ever say that right!


Sam is PISSED about that and…




Gringo avoids a German suplex with a go behind and a HUGE Ensi…


JS: But Sam is still not fazed!


Gringo needs to knock him down and drives in with some HARD ELBOWS…. He has Sam rocked!




Gringo has to drag the remains of Sam out of the ropes… cover…








JS: Sam is still fresh compared to Deadman… but then again look at caged animal on the TWOStars apron…


Gringo is having too much fun it would seem and runs towards the rising Sam…


PH: Shining Wizard! Now he’s ripping off Muto!


JS: It’s called a tribute if you must know… cover…







T… but Deadman breaks the count… Holt comes in and boy is he fired up…


JS: Good god Deadman is getting DOUBLE ELBOWED TO HELL!


Sam blocks the Gringo-Plex but Gringo changes to a….




PH: What is this biased refereeing!


JS: The former ERE owner falls outside and that's one sorry looking tag team right now at 10 minutes or so gone in this match up…


PH: You know who I blame this on don’t you…


JS: The referee?


PH: No that Sam H…


Who is dragged back in as Holt tags back in… He hoists Sam up onto the shoulder…


JS: Running Powerslam! Shades of the late great Davey Boy Smith as Holt makes the cover...








JS: Last minute escape by the ‘weak link’ as my partner calls him…


PH: Hey at least he did something right…


Sam can barely stand so Deadman rushes in again to save him from the Incredible… Holt drops Sam and eats…


PH: OH YES! What a difference maker from Deadman with the Clothesline from HELL!


Gringo tries to kick his ass and gets roped with another Snake Eyes followed by a HUGE big boot… That's not enough for Deadman's liking though….




Everyone bar Deadman is down but he takes a moment to check on Sam…. Sam brushes him off and staggers to his feet and pushes him away… Holt is up groggily however and gets set up by Deadman…


PH: Powerbomb time!


But Holt reverses Deadman's powerbomb into a…


JS: Hunancanrana! Holt taking tips from Gringo!


Holt fires up and just runs through Deadman and ELBOWS him right down. That doesn't last long though as Sam works the temper advantage in numbers and works the knee smashes on Holt who spins round… Big boot is ducked however but the flying shoulder block from the Greenie is avoided….


PH: Oh the shoe is on the other foot now Joey! Deadman is signalling for it…


Deadman is looking for the Chokeslam but it’s countered but DEADMAN HIT’S A DROPKICK sending Holt outside!




PH: I told you he was ready, I told you he would do whatever it takes…


He tries for that Gringo killer Chokeslam again, dragging Holt onto to the apron but Holt is wise to and elbows out…. Sam H blind tag in though much to the disgust to Deadman and again he Holt stand off with Sam just chopping the **** out Holt in the corner! He follows it up with…


PH: DISRESPECTFUL KICKS! I love it, using Holt’s own partner’s offence against him!


Back suplex is blocked with ELBOWS, hard ones but Sam doesn't stand for that though…




He hauls Holt up instead of covering though….


PH: H-BOMB! In TWOStars! Cover him Sam!










JS: Gringo makes the save! Gringo is alive!


Deadman comes back in and Gringo tries to fire up… Kicks to Deadman… Throat chops to Sam…


PH: CHOKESLAM again from Deadman! Gringo didn’t see that coming!


He hauls Holt back up….


JS: SIT OUT POWERBOMB, right into the cover….. A











JS: Kick out! Kick out! Holt is alive!


Gringo is finally back up…. He staggers towards Sam AND Deadman…




JS: HEAD DROP GERMAN SUPLEX, Sam just threw Holt on his head… HOLY ****, Holt is straight back up! He is HOLTING UP!


ELBOWS. SPINNING ELBOW!!! Sam staggers over to Deadman who gets the tag though… Holt wearily tags Gringo who is recovering on the apron…


JS: Deadman just SLAPPED the taste out of Gringo‘s mouth! God Gringo is pissed! ENSI! CAPOOOOOOO KICK!!!


Sam dives back in and stops the beating, but Gringo is lost in rage right now and Kawada kicks and chops at him instead…. Sam is reeling…


JS: Gringo-Plex!


PH: Which one!


JS: Doesn’t matter because here comes the Tequila Hangover!


Gringo turns his attention to Deadman but the Skullburner is blocked again… Holt comes in though and clobbers the ERE owner… He Irish Whips and lifts him…












PH: Sam with the save! It’s still alive! ERE’s dream is still alive!


Holt looks for a Powerbomb on Sam buts it’s blocked and Sam strains hard and reverses… Irish whip and he meets Holt with an Atomic Drop followed with a HUGE release…


JS: Northern Lights Suplex! What strength by Sam H! Where at a near 20 minutes of action down. I'm exhausted just watching it!


Gringo surprises him though and boots him outsides… Deadman is up and charges Gringo but is low bridged and flies outside… Gringo see’s all three men down… he takes a run up…


JS: Spanish Fly! Oh no Deadman and Sam moved! Gringo just took out Holt!


Deadman and Sam throws Gringo back into the ring…


JS: The two are arguing over who should finish Gringo… what jerks…


PH: Of course you the honour should be Deadman’s…


JS: Says who? Oh yes… of course… you…


Deadman hoists Gringo up into a powerbomb position as Sam watches… She spins round…

PH: This is it!


JS: Wait no… what a counter!


Gringo swings out and Tornado DDT’s Deadman catching Sam with a kick on the way past… Sam tumbles out of the ring where he caught by a very angry looking Holt…


PH: What the hell is that big brute doing?




Holt is pissed and slides into the ring, eyes fixed on the now standing Gringo… He walks over and shoves the Sensation and the Gringo shoves him back…


PH: Oh… things don’t look good now eh Joey?


The two suddenly explode into blows… Jack Doan tries to come in between them but is knocked aside from a huge forearm from the Incredible one…


JS: And now the referee is down!


All of a sudden the crowd is a buzz as Gringo and Holt continue to exchange hard shots…




JS: It’s… no… IT’S GOWER!


PH: And he’s got a weapon!


Deadman is staggering to his feet and getting his bearings and is met by a THUNDEROUS chairshot from BARRY GOWER!


PH: The son of a bitch!


JS: He’s back! Gower is back! And he just knocked Deadman all the way to slumberland with that shot!


BG: See you hell bitch… Ashes to Ashes, everyone gets BURNED in the FIRE!


Gower exit’s the ring and leaves through the crowd as Gringo and Holt are still brawling, unaware of the exchange that took place…


JS: Jesus Christ it’s like a car crash out here!


Holt takes the upper hand on the smaller Sensation… He hoists him up…




Holt turns and leaves as the crowd begin to boo him… Doan begins to come too and see’s Gringo, out cold, laid across the prone Deadman…. He starts the count….




PH: No, not this way….




PH: That son of a bitch Gower!




JS: My gods what a battle! What a car crash! What a match! Gringo and Holt have got the win!


TC: Here are you winners! The Incredible Holt and The Evil Gringo!!!!


PH: Winners! WINNERS! It was that damn Gower! He’s a Deadman!!!


Black Dragon and Mamacita come down to the ring to check on the Gringo who has rolled off Deadman and is holding his neck… They rush into the ring and check on the fallen Sensation as the camera pans up to the gods….


JS: Paulie… up there!


Barry Gower stands tall amongst the crowd, a sly smile across his face as he observes the carnage in the ring… The camera fades out on that image and we cut to Main Event run through

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Back from ZT Main Event run down


Stutterfly's 'Gun in Hand' plays.


The fluorescent lights all go green, the TWO tron screen has an image of money falling while cutting to pictures of the "10 Karat Slam" Sutterfly's 'Gun in Hand' plays.


Spend a lifetime

Trying to understand.

Why you reason

With a gun in your hand.


Two spark showers start flowing on either side of the TWO tron.


What was so bad?

What had he done

To make you return,

This time with a gun?


Niles comes out and rolls out a long red carpet, which rolls out to its entirety a good ways down the ramp. Then Howell comes out onto the red carpet.


Intimidation growing bigger.

What the hell made you pull the trigger?


Spend a lifetime

Trying to understand.

Why you reason

With a gun in your hand.


The two strut down the ramp. Niles walks up the steps, wipes his feet on the apron, and holds open the ropes for his employer. He then takes a spot outside the ring, while “Gun in Hand” fades away.


The lights go out and the arena is bathed in psychedelic swirls.




is displayed in close ups and as a whole across the TWOtron. The loud jeers and hackles from the crowd can be heard undisturbed. Twiggie appears at the top of the ramp sans recycling bin, his hardcore title hanging over his shoulder. Around his head is tied a faded grey bandana with dancing Jerr Bears printed on it. He is accompanied by a slender man with shoulder length wavy hair, a short Indian woman with funky died hair, and a tall man with olive skin; a cowboy hat; aviator shades and a thick beard.


Chimmel: Weighing in tonight at 196 pounds, accompanied by Mickey Hart, Gabby Lala, and Les Claypool. He is the self-proclaimed TWOstars Hardcore Champion. He is … Twwwwwwwwwiggie!


There is a caption at the bottom of the screen, which reads: Twiggie with Bremstrahung Farad.


Joey: Well, it looks as if Twiggie’s brought Bremstrahung Farad along for the show. But, even a casual observer could notice that this isn’t the same band that Twig played with when they showed up on XTV.


Heyman: Actually I’ve heard there are about 30 official members of the band. And whenever any number of them get together, they call themselves Bremstrahung Farad.


Twig makes his way down the ramp. Breamstrahung Farad’s instruments rise from a large hole off to the side of the staging. The rest of the band picks up their instruments and play Jungle Boy. Mickey on drums, Gabby on a sitar, and Les using up one of the four different basses laid out for him. As The PETA Punisher enters the ring, they go off into some mellow jam.


Styles: These two men staring each other down, like they’ve had a long standing feud.


Heyman: Well… Twiggie has been protesting against Michael’s company… even attempting to start a grassroots boycott.


Styles: Really… What does Howell’s company even do?


Heyman: Umm… Uh… Hm. Something involving the stock market, I think.




MHIII closes in and reaches forward to lock up with the Colorado Troubadour.


Heyman: A kick to the midsection by the Million Dollar Madman. But it’s caught!


Styles: Twig ducks under and Enziguri.


Twiggie hooks Howell’s arms behind his back, pushes his head between the Dirty Hippie’s legs, inverts the CEO and yanks on his leg.


Styles: Devil Hold! It’s a complicated submission that works on several different parts of the body.


Mikey frees his left hand and hits Twig with a knife-edge chop to Twiggle’s ribs.


Styles: With the hold broken, Howell falls unceremoniously to the mat and across the knee of Twiggith M’Gee.


Howell rolls away from the PETA Punisher, but as the CEO makes it to his feet Twig closes in and flips the third in a long line of Howell’s.


Styles: Ya’ know… You just don’t see too many wrestlers hit a Japanese Armdrag.


Heyman: Not outside of Japan you don’t.


Twig is up and running for the ropes. Howell stumbles to his feet as The Dirty Hippy springboards off the second rope and turn 180º.


Styles: A spinning head scissors, but no! Michael Number Three hooks Twigger’s head as it swings past his hips!


Twig’s feet hit the mat hard, and the PETA Punisher is bent over backwards.


Styles: Reverse DDT!


Heyman: Jeez, these kids are determined to get a go at the gold.


MHIII bounces off the ropes.


Styles: Twig duck leg lariat, but- OH MY!!


Before the CEO can pass by Twiggith M’Gee jumps upwards and hits Mr. Silver Spoon with a mid-air bulldog.


Twig stands over the rich man legs on either side.


Styles: Campana! And to add insult to injury Twiggie is swingin’ Mikey H. head first into the turnbuckle


Ref: Hey Twig! That’s not Wrestlin’








Ref: This is your last chance, buddy!




Twiggie drops his opponent face first into the bottom turnbuckle. Twig is forced to give Michael Howell III a breather as he uses the ropes to make his way to his feet.


Heyman: The CEO’s milking every moment of recovery he can get.


As Mikey-boy finally backs off from the ropes The Colorado Troubadour closes in. An Irish Whip is foiled as Twig is sent crashing, back first into the turnbuckle. Howell side-steps over to Twiggith and…


Heyman: With nowhere to fall, Twig took all the impact of that superkick right in his face!


The Recycler flops down to the ground and Howell is quick to put Master Twig in a-


Styles: Figure Four Leglock!


McTwig rocks back and forth, grimacing with anguish. He reaches for the ropes, but they elude his grasp.


Heyman: If Twig can flip over onto his stomach, he can reverse the hold, and put the pressure on the CEO!


Try as he may The Twig In The Mud just can’t flip the hold. He turns from side to side, but The Million Dollar Madman is always prepared form the shift in weight. Twig yanks on his dreads and pounds his fist into this forehead. His face is a mask of pain.


Styles: Twig’s raising his hand! Is he about to tap out!?


Michael Howell III’s eyes light up as it looks like Twig’s about to tap. Seizing opportunity Twiggith quickly flops onto his stomach, and drags Howell away from the ropes as he crawls towards the center of the ring.


Heyman: Some mind games from Twiggers, and he’s got the upper hand!


Michael Howell claws at the mat, but it gets him nowhere fast.


Twig: C’mon you corporate tool! Give it up!


The CEO reaches forward, but is a good two feet from the ropes.


The Colorado Troubadour arches his back, upping the ante. The CEO is now the one wearing a mask of pain as he stretches out towards the edge of the ring.


In a matter of desperation Niles reaches into the rings. He grabs the arm of his employer and drags the two entangled combatants to the ring. From there Michael easily grabs the ropes.


Ref: You have no part in this fight! If you don’t keep your beef-eating ass out of this match, I’ll bar you from ringside!


The Million Dollar Madman has wrapped both his arms around the ropes.


Heyman: With the ref distracted Senor Twi-garcia sees no reason to break the hold… at least not yet.


Ref: Oh! He’s on the ropes. Twiggie, break the hold.










Twig lets go at last, and the two have trouble making it to their feet. Twig is up first, and knocks the CEO onto his face with several stomps.


Bremstrahung Farad, switch things up and jam into a bluegrassy number. Les Claypool sets down his electric bass, and plucks away at a stand-up double bass.


Styles: I can only assume that the song that Bremstrahung Farad goes by the name of Waijal Breakdown. At least… that’s the move Twig’s doing right now.


Heyman: Twiggith M’Gee is up and off the ropes!


Twig bounces off the ropes performs a single-handed tinslica. Bremstrahung Farad plays Geulah Papyrus by Phish. The Dirty Hippy continues with a somersault, and then finally a standing senton across Howell’s stomach.


Styles: Twiggie seems to be communicating with the band as he hits Geulah Papyrus.


Heyman: Well, whatever’s going on the boy is on a roll!


The Dirty Hippy covers the CEO.












Heyman: Two and a half.


Twig drags Michael to his knees amidst clubbing blows to his back.


Styles: Gut wrench powerbomb!


Heyman: Twiggie doesn’t usually have much opportunity to show off his power moves.


Twig again picks up MHIII, as the band plays a strange and ever-so peculiar tune. Les Claypool is now playing a fretless electric 6 string bass.


Heyman: I know that song! It’s Cryptical Envelopment.


Twig hits the Hanging Fisherman Brainbuster, which he’s named after the Grateful Dead song.


Styles: How did you know the name of that song?


Heyman: I’ve been to a grateful Dead show… or 172


Twig backs away from Howell, breathing heavily as the Million Dollar Madman holds his neck and back. When the CEO is on his knees Twig takes off for the ropes on the far side of the ring. Twiggie grabs Howey’s head and spins around.


Styles: Here comes the Steal Your Face!


Bremstrahung Farad plays the first measure of He’s Gone. As Twig’s legs cross MH3’s torso they split across it. Twig’s move has been countered and he falls face first towards mat. He pushes off with his hands.


Styles: Shade’s of Rey Mysterio, as Twig reaches for a bulldog.


Michael uses The PETA Punisher’s momentum to attempt a wheelbarrow suplex.


Heyman: NO! Twiggerton breaks his legs free, backflips, and it’s into a reverse suplex! Damn, this kid really wants to be champ!


The suplex comes too close to the ropes and MHIII’s stomach is hung up on ropes. His gut absorbs some impact, but the Stock Market Millionaire bounces back.


Styles: Michael Howell III getting more elevation than he is rotation… what’s he trying to do?


From behind and above Mikey Howey Numero Tres hooks Twig’s chin. Mr. Claypool goes off on a funky slap bass solo on an electric fretless bass.


Styles: With his knees to the back of the Colorado Troubadour The CEO hits… well let’s call it a forward falling lungblower.


The two men lay on the mat while the ref begins a double count out.












Howell rolls over and gets to his knees.




Twiggie lies on the mat gasping for air.








Howell crawls over and drapes his arm over Twig’s chest.














MHIII sits up distressed. Twig lies all but motionless as Michael slowly climbs up the turnbuckles. Twig is on his knees facing away from his opponent.


Heyman: Yes! This is just what we need in a Champion, someone who will go all out for a victory.


MH3 Jumps just as Twig gets up to feet. The Recycling One Turn around and meets Michael’s leg head on.


Styles: Third Rope Shooting Star Lariat!


The fans in attendance break into a chant


Crowd: This is awesome! * * *** This is awesome! * * *** This is awesome! * * ***


The theme to the current jam is altered by Gabby on her sitar, which plays notes that ascend interactively with the current harmony. On his bass, Les, enters immediately after Lala has finished the theme and repeats the theme (while the first “voice” is mimicking the theme with counterpoint, creating interweaving harmony based on the original theme). Claypool finishes the theme and then adds a second layer of counterpoint, mimicking the original theme just a little differently than Gabby did on her sitar. As soon as Les has finished playing the theme, a third voice enters with Mickey Heart who plays the original theme on a mandolin which until now was hidden behind his drums, while Gabby and Les are mimicking the original theme and layering contrapuntal harmonies over that theme.


Heyman: What is that… musical vomit!?


Styles: Actually, it’s a very advanced form of playing, known as a fugue.


Howell has a disgusted look upon his face. He picks The Colorado Troubadour like one would for a fall away slam. With the Dirty Hippy in his arms the CEO spits towards the band, before continuing with his signature move.


Heyman: Corporate Ladder!


The Perpetual Protestor is dragged to his feet and tosses off the ropes. Niles reaches up, grabs the ropes and Twiggie topples to the ground, care of a low bridge.


Twiggie crashes to the outside, clearly landing head first. The Ref instigates a count out.






Michael Howell III steps out onto the apron and motions for Niles to back away. The count out begins once more






The CEO runs along the apron until he’s parallel with the fallen hippy.




Styles: Running Shooting Star Press off the apron!


Crowd: Holy $#¡† Holy $#¡† Holy $#¡†


PH- Incredible!! Incredible!! Michael Howell III has just taken flight, clearing the 3rd rope completely! The crowd is on its feet!!


JS- They can’t hold anything back, Paul! Too much is at stake!!


Both men are lying on the ground, recovering from the impact with the cement. They groan as they stare up into the hot lights, the crowd just finishing up their wild, frenzied chant. Niles stands meekly to the side, seeing the ref eyeballing him suspiciously.


Michael knees his way back over to the ring apron, and uses it to prop himself up…Twiggie crawls in the opposite direction, using the railing to prop himself up as well.

The match thus-far has been very fast paced, and much wind has left the two competitors.


Michael manages to get to his feet first, his fall being absorbed by Twiggie’s body and therefore not taking as much of the damage. He intercepts the almost standing Twiggie with a double axe-handle and brings him back down to one knee.


MHIII then delivers a series of right hands, pounding and punishing the dirty hippie. He aims directly for the forehead and face.


JS- Vicious shots!


But Twiggie begins to battle back! He answers with right hands of his own, trying to counter!! The two exchange feverish punches, Twiggie now almost up…but Michael will have none of it!


As he intercepts a punch, he grabs the PETA punisher’s dreads and rams his face into the rail


After the initial blow, Howell does not stop. He doesn’t release the hippy’s hair, but keeps driving it into the turnbuckle with no remorse. The hipster’s head bounces off of the metal repeatedly, to the delight of MHIII.


But Twiggie will not go just yet! As Howell is about to deliver another shot, Twiggie instead grabs Michael and jams him into the rail instead! The Afternoon Toker starts battling back, with rights and lefts, going into an absolute frenzy!


Styles- He’s driving him back! He has a second wind!


Twiggie continues writing his “John Hancock” all over Michael’s face, unrelenting, unyielding! As Michael dazedly looks back after a last blow…Twiggie leaps up and hits an enziguri to the side of MHIII’s head, sending him slamming into the rail! The martial-arts kick leaves a clear boot-print right on the billionaire’s prized face!


Styles – What a tag! I heard that in my headphones!


The PETA punisher proceeds to follow up. In brutal eloquence he lifts Howell and whips him hard into the steel steps; the hollow “twunk” sound flowing through the air. The top row of steps flies off from the sheer impact.


Heyman – This is what Howell needs to stay away from; Twiggie’s slow hardcore style of fighting.


Michael slinks down, sitting in front of the disheveled steps. Twiggie sees the perfect placement. With a cry of “Death to corporations!” He charges toward the CEO and drops to his back, delivering a dropkick that connects the back of Michael’s head with the steel directly in front of it! Michael’s eyes glaze as he falls all the way onto his back.


Twiggie briefly hold onto his own back in pain...landing hard on his tailbone for the dropkick. But in a short while, he finds the strength to continue. Michael on the other hand, is in another world entirely.


The Recycler is relentless in his pursuit. He lifts the battered billionaire, and to the delight of the crowd, gets him in a front chancery. Wandering over to the steel steps, he raises his hand defiantly, but keeps the chancery locked in…


Heyman – Oh no…watch out for those steps!


But it is far too late for warnings. Twiggie grabs the tights of MHIII and lifts him in a completed downward diagonal! Falling back, he drives Michael into the steels steps in a grisly Impaler DDT. Howell’s body jerks to the side as a faint cracking sound seeps through the arena, drowned out by the bang of the steel. Bremstrahung Farad plays joyously with their righteous licks.


Styles- He killed him! He killed him! I think he just broke his neck!!


Michael is laying on the ground in a contorted position, his limbs spazzing at random. Twiggie gets up with a sinister yet satisfied expression. Looking at his handiwork Twiggie lets out a long Ric-Flair-like “Whooo!” To add insult, he kicks the neck of Michael repeatedly, poking and prodding with his boots. Michael softly groans…


The Colorado Troubador’s punishment is still not over! He suddenly yanks Michael up by the neck, and begins to drag him around the ring…


Styles- Where is he going now??


As if to answer him, Twiggie points a long soy-nourished finger at the Spanish announce table. The moment the people behind the table see the ominous threat, they take off their headphones and scatter immediately. The dirty hippie begins to drag The CEO by the hair and neck over to his next instrument of pain…


To assure his opponent’s compliance, Twiggie slams the head of the Billion Dollar Madman onto the side of the table, further putting stress on the neck. When satisfied, he rolls the near-helpless corporate mogul onto the table and then climbs up himself…The hatred for both men intermingles in the audience. They cannot decide which is the lesser evil; Howell or Twiggie. Some chant for the CEO and some chant for Sir Twiggins of Twigginshire. But the Recycler disregards the opinions of the masses. Barely managing to stand the billionaire up, he picks him up in body-slam form, but then contorts it by bringing Michael over the side and clutching his head and neck…the crowd immediately recognizes the familiar move setup…


Styles – The Twiggaludo Frozion!?? He’s going to break his neck for sure!!?


Heyman – You mean he’s going to hit that move on the table?! It’s dangerous enough in the ring!


But Twiggie is deaf to pleading and excuses…he holds the CEO suspended in the air…and with a cry of “Death to Tyrants!...” he prepares for the final nail in the coffin…


…but Michael shows a faint sign of life!! Realizing his soon-to-be fatal position, he begins to kicks and wiggle, making the task of holding him in the proper position quite difficult. The CEO throws all of his weight forward…making himself fall back on Twiggie…and indeed he does!!! Howell lands behind the Colorado Troubador in a back chancery and in the blink of an eye begins his stunning sequence; he spins the hippie around and out of the front chancery into suplex position. Reaching over to the side of Twig’s lower body, he grabs his leg and crosses it over the other one. Mustering all of the strength that he can, he lifts Twiggie upwards and brings him down headfirst onto the table with a cross-legged brainbuster!!!!! The table immediately shatters under the two warriors, with Michael’s back and Twiggie’s head both taking damage…but the advantage of Twiggie has now dissipated!!


Styles – Unbelievable!! Oh my god!! He reversed it!! He reversed it into the “You’re Fired!!” out of desperation! What a move!


Heyman – Twiggie’s head just broke the table into bits! I’m speechless! This is not a match, it’s a fight to survive!


Amidst the carnage of the table and a shattered TWOstars logo, lie the bodies of the two warriors. They stare up at the hot lights, both of them beaten and bewildered. Sweat drips down their brows…all that keeps them conscious is the dream of wearing a gold strap around their waist…


After an extended period of laying there, they both begin to show the faintest signs of conciosness. Michael is up first, followed closely by his nemesis. They lamely feel around for each other, trying to throw the strongest punch that they can. The rivals trade blows once more…


The CEO manages (despite his confusion and pain) to catch one of Twiggie’s blows. In response, he whips him into the rail next to where the ruins of the Spanish announce table lie…


Ambling over, Howell tries to stomp away at the torso of Twiggie. The blows are relatively weak compared to a man that isn’t tired, but both men are so out of it that some of the kicks do inflict damage.


Michael continues the stomping, getting progressively stronger with his increasing confidence and awareness…his boots connect with the stomach of Twiggie with an exhausting effect…yet the PETA Punisher still has fight!! In a turn of fate, he grabs one of Michael’s kicks and in a flash, turns him into a Russian leg-sweep into the metal rail!!


Styles – He caught him! A raven-like maneuver by the Colorado Troubador!


Both men exhaustedly slide back down onto the concrete, their energy and drive taken out of them. Twiggie’s arm is still partially around the CEO’s neck. The wind has completely left the competitors and again temporarily slowed the match to a crawl. The fighters inch their way back to their feet from their sliding position…


They both get up at the same pace…building their stance. Howell and Twiggins rise to their feet, totally parallel to each other. They feebly throw punches, desperately trying to gain an edge… Bremstrahung Farad plays suspenseful “building-up” music as Les Claypool plays a slow and steady riff…


Howell and Twiggie continue to trade their punches…but it is Michael who suddenly interrupts the sequence with a somewhat cheap kick to the gut. As Twiggie bends over, Howell quickly grabs both of the Recycler’s arms and hooks them. Using every last ounce of muscle, he manages to lift Twiggie up and over into a full eagle suplex…that takes Twiggie over the rail and out into the audience!!!

The fans form a pocket for the incoming Twiggie…and then slowly back away altogether.


Heyman – He’s over the rail!! He’s over the rail!! This fight has gone nearly everywhere!!


Immediately after the maneuver, Howell collapses down on all fours and crawls away from the rail, trying to regain his wind after the grueling and unceasing fight. On the other side of the rail, Twiggie is doing the same. Again the chant of “This is Awesome !!” resurfaces as the tension and desperation of the match builds


Michael slowly crawls over to another safety railing and finally uses it to prop himself up onto his two shaky legs. In the crowd, Twiggie is just about to his feet. Turning around and focusing his gaze on Twiggie, Howell’s face suddenly deepens and becomes more determined. He raises his arm to the crowd…


Styles – What could he be thinking??!


As Twiggie stumbles from his knee onto both feet, Howell begins to sprint towards the rail behind which Twiggie stands…in an eye-striking and high risk move, MHIII hops onto the railing, using it as a springboard…and then leaps into the audience!!!! As he flies he does a front flip over Twiggie and lands a blockbuster onto the concrete!! Like ants seeing the rain come down, the crowd immediately forms a bulge to accommodate the two men amidst ecstatic cheering!!


Styles- Unbelievable…unbelievable!! He just hit a blockbuster in the middle of the crowd!!! They are not holding back!! He put his body on the line!!


Heyman – Why should they?? This may determine their future career in this business!!


Smack dab in the middle of the wild hooting and cheering are Twiggie and Michael. They both soak in the pain and discomfort that the outside cement has driven into their backs. Again, the enthusiasm of the crowd drowns out the cries of pain and the agonizing moans.


All light and enthusiasm has drained from the men’s eyes…there only remains the desire to win. They make their way back up as slow as ever, actually using each other as crutches to get back up. Finally they stand at a shaky face to face. Michael throws a punch that sends Twiggie reeling for a bit into the crowd. The CEO attempts to follow the dirty hippie, wading through the people…but a fire has re-emerged in the Colorado Troubadour!! As Howell comes for the next blow, Twiggie uncoils and lands an enormous lariat on Michael that sends him straight to the floor, and Twiggie to his knees from the sheer force of it all. Michael’s head bounces off the cement.


Twiggie exhaustedly lifts the CEO once more…his limp arms managing to hold the weight. Taking the weight off of his arms, Twiggie picks up Howell in one monumental effort and places him in a Fireman’s Carry…


Heyman – This can’t be good, Joey!


Twiggins stumbles around for a bit; the weight making his knees buckle. But he does stabilize. From the fireman’s carry, Twiggie throws the CEO forward, and into a murderous sit-out inverted piledriver!! Again, the crowd explodes!!


Styles- Good god!! Did you see the way his head jerked as he landed…oh man…this is agonizing just to watch …


Michael’s arms and legs are stretched out far to the side. He shows no sign of moving whatsoever. Twiggie is exhausted, but somehow an aura of relief is on his face. Slowly, he gets up and doggedly drags The CEO, slowly but surely, back over to the rail. Standing right in front of it, Twiggie stops in his tracks. With a renewed confidence, he bends down and clutches Howell by the thighs. The PETA punisher gives an enormous lift….and lifts the billion dollar madman into a flapjack. As Michael comes down, the center of his face collides with the rail!! He rolls back behind the rail into the crowd, as Twiggie’s deadly move takes its toll…somehow turning over on his back, Howell’s face is zoomed in on by the cameras to show that it has been busted open.


Heyman – He busted him open! He busted him open!! I think he just broke every bone in his face!!


Styles- A gruesome move indeed, Paul!


The crimson liquid pours down the face of The CEO…his features not particularly recognizable. The recycler is tired, but totally contented. Ambling over in his tired gait, he positions his foot on the bleeding face of Howell and twists it back and forth, irritating the wound. The Billion Dollar Madman whines and whimpers under the boot of his foe.

The crowd cheers in cruel and brutal delight.


Lifting his battered and bloodied opponent, Twiggie takes his hand and plants the palm on Howell’s bloody face. He then uses the injured head to drag Michael a bit closer to the rail. Making sure Howell is properly elevated and on his feet, Twiggie puts Michael in suplex position under his arm. Elevating him, The Dirty Hippie holds him in a seemingly normal suplex pose…but then lurches forward! Twiggie drops Michael’s stomach across the metal rail!! Michael is hung out to dry on the steel, the wind immediately flying out of his lungs!


Styles- He almost broke him in half! He almost broke him in half!!


Heyman – What do you mean, almost?!



Michael is suspended in the air, hanging from the rail. His legs just out into the audience, but his head and upper torso are in the outside of the arena; his mouth coughing and gasping for breath. Seeing the precarious position, Twiggie smirks, and walks deeper into the audience. The fans make way eagerly for the TWO star. Getting some distance, Twiggie starts sprinting forward…he leaps over the barricade and lands in a guillotine leg drop on Michael’s neck!! Michael’s stomach is driven deeper into the rail from the additional weight as he tips forward and back into the initial part of the arena!!


Styles- Now I’m speechless!!


Heyman- Then why are you talking!?


The fans chant “Thank you! Thank you!” Twiggie is a bit shaken from his tailbone landing on the concrete, but recovers much quicker than the ailing CEO, who is bleeding pretty heavily. Deciding that he has spent enough time outside, Twiggie grabs the CEO’s hair and begins the long drag all the way to the ring. Niles, whom the referee has been eyeballing this whole time, remains powerless.


Twiggie takes quite a bit of time dragging Michael into the ring…but indeed finally manages to get him inside. The mat is immediately speckled with red. After the slide, Twiggie gingerly makes his way over into the cover…








THR- shoulder up!!


Styles – What?!!


Heyman – He’s still in it!


Twiggie gets out of the pin…a bit confused at not getting the full count. Michael just lays there, drifting in and out of awareness. Twiggie aggressively lifts Michael, and in the blink of an eye sends him into the ropes. On the return trip, Twiggins catches him in a quick and stiff gut-buster, again knocking the wind out of him. He follows it up by quickly hooking the leg.








TH- Shoulder up again!!


Heyman – How is he able to kick out??


Styles- He’s just going on pure instinct. He doesn’t know what’s going on or where he is, but he feels that he is being covered!!


Twiggie again greets this unexpected resilience with a look of frustration. He again aggressively lifts up the man by the hair. This time, Twiggie takes off his shoes…


Styles- Oh my god…


A putrid smell fills the arena…The blackened feet are exposed to open air, immediately gagging the people in the front row. All sorts of oozes and mushrooms protrude from the fermenting toes and the filthy corns…


Heyman- The site of those biohazard feet can only mean one thing…he’s preparing to Stash the Gumbo!!


The fans not in the first three rows immediately cheer. The others continue to retch and gag in the middle of their yelling and praises. Twiggie lifts Howell once more and hurls him into the ropes, totally focused. As Michael comes back, Twiggie leaps into the headscissor….


But the Billionaire ducks under it!! Howell proceeds to run into the ropes behind Twiggie!! The dirty hippie turns around, looking for his elusive prey… but as he turns he is greeted with a high and sudden Shining Wizard to the nose!! Twiggie goes down, along with The CEO!!


Styles- He caught him!! He caught him with that kick out of nowhere! How can it be that he has fight left??!


Howell’s arms fluctuate in all sorts of directions as he tries to make sense of where he is at. He rolls and tumbles over before finally getting to the ropes and pulling himself up. Dizzy, battered, and blinded with his own blood, a weary CEO begins the drunken stumble to the top rope…


Heyman – He can’t be serious! He just got a small opening and he’s going to throw it away!!


Styles – Didn’t you say earlier that you wanted a champ who puts it all on the line?


Heyman – Yeah…but not like and idiot!!


The camera zooms in once more in Twiggie. A closer looks reveals his nose is caved and broken, a tiny trickle of blood coming out. Howell unsurely grasps the turnbuckle and begins to prop himself up.


Heyman – Don’t do it!!


…but Michael can barely hear himself much less the announcers. He gets up onto the turnbuckle, his back facing the inside of the ring. The crowd goes silent in anticipation…in a poetic and graceful motion, Michael jumps backward…in mid-air he turns totally horizontal and performs a horizontal corkscrew maneuver, almost rolling on the ground!! In the midst of the twist, he lands perfectly across the body of Sir Twiggins of Twigginshire, in a backflip twisting horizontal splash!! (http://www.wrestlingencyclopedia.com/MOVES/KankuuTornado.WMV )


Styles – A Kankuu tornado!!! A Kankuu Tornado!! He lands perfectly!! I’ve never seen it with my own eyes before!!


Heyman – And he landed into the cover!!!














---Shoulder up!!


The limp body of The CEO can barely move, but he still manages to clench a fist on anger and pound the mat as he sluggishly rolls out of the pin…The crowd is in total elation!!! They chant and scream wildly!!! Both men are totally out of it but refuse to give up. Michael moans and claws the caked blood out of his eyes. Twiggie is trying to regain a sense of himself. Both men crawl to the third rope…both vying for the prize…both refusing to accept defeat!! They try to make it to their feet as quickly as they can…the tension in the audience reaches a boiling point!!


Howell makes it to his feet with Twiggie totally parallel. They both make it to their feet at the same time!! Michael launches a quick kick to the gut of Twiggie. As the Recycler keels over, Michael turns him around and wraps his arm in the now recognizable move…


Styles- He’s going for the 10 Karat Driver!!

Michael gets the arm across the chest and lifts Twiggie up in the torture rack position…but no!!! Twiggie starts fighting it!! He wiggles and wrenches his arm free of the vice, slipping out the backdoor!! As he lands on his feet, Twiggins lifts Michael up from a reverse chancery, and takes him up grabbing the head and neck!!!


Heyman - …No!! No!! Its going to be the Twiggaludo Frozen!!


Twiggie position and sets Michael for the decisive drop. The match may just be over…but wait a minute!! Now it is Michael who begins to claw for his life!! He wiggles and wriggles…and himself goes out the backdoor!! Using the top rope behind him, he slingshots off and goes forward over Twiggie, countering the Frozen into a slingshot bulldog!!


Styles – He reversed it!! He countered the move into a creative bulldog!!


Michael lands in the bulldog, still holding the headlock in place, being to tired and limp to just let go…but in a surprising burst of energy…Twiggie starts standing up immediately after the bulldog!! The look of bewilderment on the CEO’s face tells the whole story; Twiggie has just gotten up with Michael holding the headlock weakly on!!


Twiggie breaks out of the cumbersome hold and rapidly leaps onto the frame of the billionaire!! Twiggie jumps onto the back of Twiggins, and revolves around the back of the CEO and round the front…and then around the back again….and then back to the front again!!! Going all the way around he nails a 540 Steal Your Face, with his disrobed feet managing to poke the face of Howell along the way!! Michael is totally confused as his head meets the mat after that stunning maneuver!!! http://img306.imageshack.us/img306/879/ststealyourfacesticker6qw.jpg


Heyman – I can’t believe he just did that!!! That was a 540 Laying the Smackdown DDT!!! A full revolution and then some!! Michael is seeing stars…


Twiggie makes his way to his feet, finally feeling the blood flow!! Dizzy, confused, tired, achy; Twiggie firmly points to the top rope!!


Styles – I think I know what’s coming!!!


In his final effort, Twiggins of Twigginshire grabs Mikey the Third by the hair and drags him to the top rope. He settles the tired and weathered enemy into a sitting position on the corner, and then doggedly climbs up, taking his place around the back of Michael. Pulling the CEO nearly to his feet, both men stand around the turnbuckle as Twiggie prepares for his reverse Russian leg-sweep….


Heyman – It’s going to be the Weekapaug grove!!! Its going to be the Weekapaug grove!!! Its going to be over!! Michael has no idea where he is!!!


Styles – For once I agree with you Paul! This looks like the final chapter in an amazing match!!!

Twiggie firmly grasps the hair of the CEO, and readies for the forward sweep…..






…………the events that follow are reminiscent to a quick and unexpected lightning strike. As Twiggie is about to leap off, Howell somehow quickly elbows free. In a split second he leaps slightly forward, pivots in midair, grabs Twiggie around the throat and executes an implausible, fantastic backflip into a SUPER 10 Karat Slam; in essence a one man Spanish Fly!!!!!!!!!! The crowd is totally hushed in admiration from the aesthetically pleasing move…no one makes a noise as Michael lurches onto Twiggie for the cover…






Heyman – Its over Joey!!

(A shadowy figure moves through the audience…)





(More shadowy silhouettes maneuver through the crowd…)


Styles – I can’t believe he’s going to do it!!!






Heyman – and….




Heyman – What??!!


Totally unnoticed, The New Blood have slipped in from the audience into the ring!! A vicious chair-shot across the back of Michael breaks the three-count and prompts the ref to call for the bell. But the New Blood does not relent. They proceed to stomp away at the battered men. With steel chairs in tow, they swipe the weapons down on them.


The ever-faithfull Niles, running around the other side of the ring, clutches the foot of MHIII and drags him out of the side of the ring. Arron “The Person: Butcher tries to hold on to the CEO’s leg and keep him there for the slaughter, but is unmatched by Niles’ power!!!

Howell is taken to safety with his head wound re-opened and his back sore from the shot. Niles drags Michael down the ramp away from the carnage.


Styles- How could they!!? This match was a classic, and they had to ruin it!!!


Heyman – Even I have to question them breaking up this amazing fight. They wanted to make an impact I guess…


Styles – Howell may be bleeding and sore again, but at least he got out!! Twiggie has no help!! Look, Brehmstrahung Farad is turning tail and running!


Heyman – They’re lovers, Joey. Not fighters.


The brutal assault and stomping continues in earnest. Red Scorpion lifts Twiggie into a Powerbomb position. As he does, Drake “The Messiah” Rush launches and hits a missile dropkick from the top rope, Scorpion slams Twiggie into the knees of Omega Male. As Twiggins falls, Arron “The Person” Butcher finishes the move with a tope rope guillotine leg drop on the helpless Recycler.


Styles – That’s the same move they used to injure Gringo!!!


Heyman – They’ve dubbed it their “Natural Order!!”


Twiggie collapses into a heap; a tiny pool of blood forming in his mouth.


Styles – Dammit, he may have internal damage!!


From the ramp, burly security runs down, trying to restrain the New Blood. Numerous guards are needed before the fiery rookies are kept down, and even then just barely. They are dragged down the ramp in handcuffs…the audience boos them viciously…


Heyman – So wait…who’s the number one contender! Howell had it won, but the match ended up being undecided!!


*Break Stuff* blasts onto the speakers…


Styles – I think we are about to find out…


The bewildered form of Darkstar comes out onto the ramp. He looks rather worried…


DS – Ok, ok, ok…shut up!! *Sigh* Seeing as both entrants are too injured and beaten to continue at an unbiased pace tonight…and recalling the precarious position that Twiggie was in before the assault…I have no choice but to award the number one slot to…Michael Howell III *sigh*.


Heyman – YES!!!


Styles- Oh no…

DS- For tonight, that is my final decision. On the next Xtreme TV…I will be there to either finalize or dismiss it. And New Blood…you want war? Well you’ve crossed the lines boys. From now on…you’ve got a fight on your hands!!


Darkstar disappears into the back…


The crowd is heard chanting “New Blood Sucks,” and “Ripoff, ripoff!”


Styles – The night is still not over…we’ve got the main even!! Dante Mueller against “The Brutal One” Brett Banner. Don’t you go anywhere!


Cut to DTTAH promo

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Tony Chimel: It is now time for this evening's main event ? a

cage match for the TWO World Heavyweight Championship!


The entrance ramp is filled with dry ice and bathed in eerie, deep blue

light as the tones of The Prodigy's Serial Thrilla blare out across

the packed arena.


Multiple laser lights project Brett Banner's red radiation symbol onto the

rampway and it also revolves for all to see up on the Titantron.




The fifth and current TWOstars Heavyweight Champion, Brett Banner, steps

out onto the entrance ramp, head bowed and covered by the hood of his blue

and red boxing robe. He slowly spins around, arms outstretched, to reveal

that the back of the garment is emblazoned with his symbol.


Styles: There he is - the Serial Thrilla himself, Brett Banner.


Heyman: "Thrilla" my ass ? if anyone is going to be thrilling the

crowd tonight it's Dante Mueller.


Tony Chimel: Now making his way to the ring, weighing in at 225

pounds, the TWOstars World Heavyweight Champion ?" The Bruuutal"

Brrrett Bannnnner!


The camera pans around the packed stadium to show the fans cheering for the

champ, close ups show marks waving Brett Banner signs and banners as he

strides purposefully down the ramp.


Banner steps up onto the ring apron, pauses, then pulls the hood of his

robe back to reveal his face.






The Thrilla from Brumilla poses on the apron, proudly gesticulating towards

the championship belt which he sports around his waist, now revealed for

all to see as his robe is cast aside.


He enters the ring between the top and middle ropes and proceeds to pace

around the ring, shrugging his shoulders and cracking his neck like a boxer

as he psyches himself up for his title defence.


From its position, suspended above the ring, the ominous steel structure of

the cage is slowly lowered, and the excitable crowd cheer at the sight.


Banner continues to pace to and fro, looking up at the monstrous metal

apparatus as it descends towards him, finally touching down to the floor

and encapsulating the entire ring.


The crowd's attention shifts to the big screen as a graphic flashes up on

the Titantron. First it is just undistinguishable blurs, but soon it turns

into an actual picture. A storm is seen and heard in the background.

Lightning hits and thunder cracks loudly. The camera goes through the

graveyard as the storm continues. Eventually several small shapes are seen

in the background. As the camera approaches them, it turns out to be

identical tombstones, with names across them all. From left to right they




Omega Red

Draven Cage

Mickhail Mills

Chris Eagles

Jordi Warner

Evil Gringo

The Incredible Holt


Behind the graves is a figure perched on the top of a Mausoleum. In the

lightning flashes, the figure is revealed to be Dante. Lightning strikes

the mausoleum where Dante is perched and at the same time lightning strikes

in the arena. The crowd jumps at this as the all too familiar pyro

explodes. F*cking Determined by Mudvayne is blaring through the

arena and the fans eagerly anticipate the arrival of Dante from amidst the



A good 15 seconds elapses and still the challenger has not arrived.


Heyman: Where the hell's Dante?


Styles: Where indeed ? this capacity crowd await his appearance with

baited breath, but he's nowhere to be seen.


Suddenly, lightning strikes again, this time high up on a balcony to the

side of the entranceway. A spotlight pinpoints the area and we see The

Assassin, perched on the edge of the ledge. Then he leaps! He hurtles down

towards the cage on a zipline, his trenchcoat billowing out behind him

impressively like some great gothic hero.


Hundreds of fans' cameras and mobile phones flash as they take a snapshot

of this spectacle.


Tony Chimel: And the challenger, at a weight of 240 pounds, from

Hermann Missouri, he is "The Assassin" Dante Mueller!


Heyman: Now that, Brett Banner, is how to make an entrance!

Look and learn, you hairy backed novice ? look and learn.


Styles: I can't argue with that ? this match up has not even begun

and the crowd are out of their seats for Mueller!


Dante lands deftly on the corner of the steel cage, to massive pops from

the crowd in response to this spectacular entrance. He stares down at the

caged Brute below him as he unhooks himself from the zipline.


Dante throws the guns and "shoots" each turnbuckle, making pyro blast out

in succession as each one is "hit".


Banner stares a hole through Dante as all this showmanship transpires,

wringing his hands as he focuses on the job at hand. The Assassin finally

scales down the inside of the cage and enters the ring.


Heyman: Look at Banner ? he's livid at Dante's entrance

upstaging his! Poor baby ? did he steal your thunder?


Tony Chimel: The object of this match is simple - to escape the

steel cage by means of climbing out or exiting via the door. The winner is

the man whose feet first touch the floor on the outside of the ring.


Brett hands the referee his belt, and the ref holds it aloft to indicate to

the crowd that this match is for the championship. A computer graphic

flashes up onto the screen stating the same.


Styles: Look at Mueller ? his eyes are fixedon that belt.


Heyman: He's got his eyes on the prize, Styles ? that's what this is

all about after all.


Dante takes off his trenchcoat and hands it to the ref, who passes it out

through the cage door to another official. The padlock on the cage door is

then locked.


The two men circle each other in the ring, their intense gazes now locked

onto each other. Banner bounces slightly from foot to foot, staying light

on his feet.


Styles: These two intense competitors sizing each other up,

presumably deciding upon the best plan of attack to start this match off



Dante and Banner collide in a lock up, both trying to test their opponent's

strength. For a moment they seem evenly matched, but it is The Assassin who

gets the upper hand and pushes Banner backwards. Brett manages to stay on

his feet and looks back at the challenger with a face like thunder.


Heyman: Looks like The Assassin is the stronger man here tonight.


Styles: Brett Banner gives up 2 inches and a full 15 pounds to his

opponent - "The Assassin" Dante Mueller stands at an impressive 6 foot four

inches and weighs in at 240 pounds. With Dante's superior height and weight

the champ's got to find another game plan other than meeting him head on in

a test of strength.


The two combatants pace around the ring again, staring each other down.

They lunge in for another lock up but Banner ducks under The Assassin's

grasp this time and darts for the ropes, rebounding back at a blistering

pace and shoulder blocking Dante, who remains standing.


Heyman: Ha! What did I just say? The Assassin is more than a match

for anything Banner can throw at him.


Styles: Banner hoping that adding some momentum to his strength will

topple his opponent ? but he's still not able to make any headway.


Dante points at the other ropes, indicating that Brett should try again,

Brett glances to them, but then turns back to face Dante and

unceremoniously slugs him in the face!


Heyman: Oh! A cheap shot there!


Styles: But an effective one, Paul - Mueller is rocked back

by that stiff shot to the kisser!


The Brute has his man back-pedalling and so doesn't let up ? his solid

forearm smashes keep battering Mueller and he is driven backwards across

the ring.


Styles: Mueller blocks and comes back with a couple of punches of

his own. An Irish Whip sends the champ to the ropes?


but Brett hooks his arms over the ropes and stops himself rebounding back

towards The Assassin. The Brute taps his side of his head in the classic

"I'm too smart for that one" gesture.


Dante motions for another lock up, but once more, Banner pretends he's

going into a collar and elbow tie-up, but actually goes for another move

instead. This time, Banner goes behind with a waistlock as if going for a

German suplex. Dante prises off Brett's hands and takes his left arm in a



Styles: Mueller reverses that rear waistlock from Banner into a

wristlock. Bear in mind that this match is escape only ? pinfalls

and submissions don't count ? so although both men can wear their opponent

down with such debilitating holds, they won't be able to score the win with



Heyman: It also takes that damn Gammalock out of Banner's

arsenal for a change.


Styles: Indeed. This match type takes Banner away from his usual

wear down an opponent's body part submission tactics ? and you have to

wonder how much of a difference maker that will be. Banner's sailing on

uncharted waters here tonight.


Heyman: I'm hoping the difference that it makes is that we get to

see a new champion here tonight.


The Assassin doesn't hold the wristlock for long and instead uses his grip

on his opponent's left arm to Irish Whip him at the ropes. As the champ

rebounds back at the challenger, he's seized by the abdomen ? it looks like

Dante is intending to deliver a Spinebuster. But The Thrilla from Brimilla

reverses the move into a Facebuster ? clasping both of his hands to the

back of The Assassin's head and then bringing his weight to bear, driving

Dante's face into the mat.


Styles: A fantastic reversal there from Brett Banner ? abruptly

changing the flow of this match up and bringing it back under his control.


Dante stays down, holding his face in his hands. The Brute is still

kneeling on the mat from where he's landed delivering the Facebuster, and

he looks to the door of the cage.


Styles: Banner looks like he might use this opportunity to make a

break for it and try to escape the cage.


Heyman: C'mon, Dante ? get up!


The champ stands up and takes a couple of steps towards the cage door, but

sees out of the corner of his eye that Dante is getting up again. Banner

charges at his foe - right into a drop toehold.


Heyman: Ha! What was that you were saying about "abruptly changing

the flow of this match"? Two can play that game!


Dante swiftly rolls over The Brute's body and takes him in a headlock.

Brett struggles to his feet, and uses his hands to try to force Dante to

release the hold? with no success.


Styles The Assassin again uses his superior strength to dominate the



Heyman: He's got superior everything, I think you'll find.


Banner tries to push Dante away to the ropes but The Eternal Opportunist

gets a nice wide base and won't be shifted.


Styles: Not just a show of strength from the challenger, but also

tremendous wrestling ability.


Heyman: What did I just say?


Dante holds the headlock tight for a few seconds, but when he feels The

Brute starting another attempt to force his way free, he flips him down to

the mat with a headlock takedown. Banner clutches at Dante's arms grasped

tightly around his head, and he still can't budge them. He then opts for a

different tack to break out, raising his right leg and using it to trap the

Missouri native's head in a headscissors.


Styles: Now it's Banner's turn to show his technical wrestling

acumen, by using the textbook escape from that grounded headlock hold.


Heyman: Meh.


Dante instantly lets go of his grip and uses all his energy to kick out of

Brett's retaliation move. Banner is on his feet only a heartbeat behind

Dante and catches him off guard with an arm drag as Dante lunges forward

for him.


Dante manages to roll through cleanly to his feet and unthinkingly darts at

Banner a second time, only to be greeted with a second lightning fast



Springing to his feet, The Brute is ready for another running attack, but

is instead is met with a dropkick to the face from The Eternal Opportunist,

which causes both men to hit the mat simultaneously.


There's a ripple of appreciative applause from the technical wrestling fans

in the crowd in response to this fast paced exchange.


The Brute is dazed, but up to one knee. Mueller is up even quicker and once

more a step ahead of the defending champion. Spotting a window of

opportunity, the Eternal Opportunist heads for the ring ropes, rebounding

back from them at pace with a Shining Wizard in mind.


Styles: The challenger utilising Keiji Mutoh's Shining Wizard

? but it's ducked by Banner ? he had that signature move of

Mueller's scouted out!


Dante whirls back around to face Banner, who fires a chop at Dante's chest.

Unsurprisingly, this elicits a tremendous "woooo" from the crowd. The

Assassin is driven against the ropes with more stinging knife-edged chops,

each one getting another "woooo" from the rabid fans in attendance. The

Assassin holds his arms across his chest, the air driven from his lungs and

his flesh reddened from The Brutalizer's forceful blows.


Styles: Hard chop after hard chop from The Brute sending shockwaves

through Dante Mueller's body. Banner whirls around full circle and - oh

my God! - delivers a vicious clothesline that sends Dante over the

ropes and into dangerous territory on the apron, next to unforgiving



As Dante lies on the apron, dazed and bruised, catching his breath and

getting his bearings, The Brutal One sets off towards the opposite ropes,

bouncing off them for added momentum and connecting hard against Mueller's

ribs with a baseball slide.


The Brutal One reaches over the ropes and hauls the battered Assassin to

his feet. But the F*cking Determined Mueller starts to fire at The Brute

with hard right hands.


Heyman: Dante's far from being out of the game yet!


The two combatants trade blows to and fro over the top rope, with the champ

eventually beginning to gain the advantage with several European uppercuts,

which force his opponent to stagger backwards.


Styles: And exactly the same thing can be said for Brett Banner,



Seizing his momentary advantage, The Brutalizer grabs the back of Dante's

head and smashes it off the ringpost. The Assassin is staggered, and Banner

follows up by bouncing his head off the steel mesh of the cage a couple of

times, accompanied by "ooh" and "aah" sound effects from the crowd who can

only imagine the pain Dante Mueller is in right now.


With a furious look on his face, like a predator who can smell blood, The

Brutal One sets off towards the opposite ropes, hurtling back with a high

knee driven into the back of Dante's head, which forces his face hard into

the steel.


Styles: It was inevitable in this type of match up. It was

unavoidable given the aggressive style of these two men and how much is on

the line ? the blood has started flowing.


We see a close up from a camera positioned outside the cage, close to where

the bloodied Assassin's face is squashed up against the steel cage. We see

the metal pressing into his flesh and the rivulets of blood trickling down

from his busted forehead.


The Definition of Destruction looks from his bloody adversary to the cage

door, then heads in that direction. The official stood on the outside of

the door unlocks the padlock and begins to slide it free of the lock. The

door is open and Brett has already ducked under the rope when he sees Dante

is up and in the ring again, a little unsteady on his feet. He turns to him

and the ref locks the padlock shut again.


Heyman: Never say die ? that should be the motto of this man,

Dante Mueller. If you want to see great technical ability, grit, and

bloody-minded determination, you need look no further.


A scowl darkens the TWO champion's face, as his frustration at not being

able to keep his opponent down starts to show. A hard shoulder block from

Banner and this time Dante goes down. The Serial Thrilla bounces off the

ropes and Dante "sleeps" - throws himself flat onto his front on the mat ?

so Banner is forced to jump over him, but he stops himself dead and then

drops a leg across the back of Dante's neck.


Styles: Both of these men are starting to get inside the other's

head ? to be able to think of what their opponent will do before he even

knows himself.


Dante holds his neck with a grimace of pain and rolls onto his back -

Banner drops a leg across his throat - again Dante writhes - and another

legdrop to the throat as The Brutal One doesn't let up the onslaught. The

TWO Heavyweight Champion stands and milks the crowd's reaction, a huge

swell of cheers urges him on, but some pro-Dante fans boo The Brute, enough

to be clearly audible to the TV audience.


Styles: The Brute is on a roll here ? the challenger needs to get

his second wind as well to stay in with a chance of winning.


Heyman: Don't you worry, Styles ? if anyone can turn this situation

around, it's The Eternal Opportunist.


Banner steps over to his fallen foe, to grab his head and pull him up to

his feet, but a punch to the gut interrupts him. Dante lays in another

couple of shots as he navigates back to his vertical base.


Heyman: And The Assassin with a comeback!


Mueller has a Powerbomb in mind now - but Brett is doing everything in his

power to resist being on the receiving end of it.


Dante has to drop Banner down to the mat again as he is struggling so much

as to make executing the move impossible. A couple of stiff blows across

Banner's back and The Assassin tries again to hoist The Brute up - but

again he struggles and Dante can't manage the Powerbomb on the second

attempt either.


Dante grits his teeth and smashes some more clubbing strikes to the back of

The Brute - so hard we hear Brett cry out in pain - and then he

successfully hauls BB up to a Powerbomb position.


Styles: Looks like it's third time lucky on that Powerbomb attempt.


Heyman: Persistence, Styles ? persistence pays



The 6 foot 4, 240 Ib Mueller runs towards the ropes for a few strides, with

the champ still held high in the air. He hurls Brett at the cage with all

his remaining might, sending him over the ropes and his back into the

steel. Banner hits hard then lands in a crumpled heap on the ring apron,

between the ropes and the steel.


Styles: Oh my God! What a devastating move from Dante

Mueller! How is the champion going to get up from that?


Heyman: Short answer: he isn't.


"Holy Sh*t!" chants swell up in response to this awesome move, as it is

replayed from several angles for the TV audience.


The Brute finds the intestinal fortitude to get back up to his feet, using

the ropes for support. The Assassin doesn't let up the offensive, laying in

a couple of shots to his face, then grabbing the back of his head and

ramming his face into the cage wall.


Heyman: The Brutal One gets a taste of his own medicine there - The

Assassin showing he can be just as brutal in return.


There is more brutality from Mueller to follow, as he proceeds to grate the

champion's face against the unforgiving steel, shredding his forehead and

starting the blood flowing.


Styles: Both men now busted open in this bloody and brutal match up.


Dante takes hold of the bloodied champ in a front facelock and with a cry

of exertion and pain, he suplexes Banner back over the top rope and into

the squared circle again. Brett rears up clutching at the small of his back

in pain.


Heyman: Mueller really digging down deep to pull out moves that big

this far into such a gruelling match.


Banner is pretty much out on his feet and a dead weight as the relentless

Assassin drags him to his feet and whips him to the turnbuckle.


Styles: Oh, I think I know what Mueller has planned here ?

yes! - he follows up with a crunching Stinger Splash!


Banner staggers out of the turnbuckle for a few dazed steps, then Flair

flops onto his front, which gets a few more "wooo"s from some members of

the crowd.


Whilst Brett is down and out, lying face first on the mat, The Eternal

Opportunist seizes the opportunity and heads up for the top. The crowd

roars their support for him as he scales up the turnbuckle and starts to

climb the steel mesh of the cage. Dante hauls himself up onto the top of

the cage.


Heyman: He's going to do it! He's going to win this!


But The Assassin's alerted to what Brett's up to by shouts from the crowd ?

he looks back into the ring and sees that he's crawled to the door and the

ref has opened it ? Banner's about to drag his bloodied body out of the

cage and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat! Dante's fears are clear in

his eyes - Banner will reach the floor first ? after all Dante's at the top

of the cage and still has to clamber down the outside whilst Brett is mere

inches away from victory.


Heyman: Dammit, no! Not this way! This match belonged to Dante!


Dante stands atop the cage. Many of the crowd are on their feet in an

instant in anticipation of what The Assassin is about to do. And they are

not disappointed ? in a spectacular desperation move, he sails off the top

of the cage to deliver a huuuuuge diving elbow to Banner's back.


Massive "Holy Sh*t!" chants erupt and there is not one member of the crowd

who remains in their seat.


Styles: Oh my God! I know I say it a lot, but this really

calls for it - oh my God!! A jaw dropping, death defying, last

resort move there from Dante Mueller!


Heyman: That must be 15... 20 feet up in the air that Dante

just delivered that elbow drop from! My God, those are balls of steel he

has! Grapefruits. Steel grapefruits.


Both men are in excruciating pain ? Banner's back is arched off the mat ?

devastated by that gargantuan elbow drop. Dante may well have damaged his

ribs by the looks of the way he is holding them and grimacing in pain on

the canvas.


Styles: The fearless Assassin sacrifices his own body to do damage

to his opponent's. To stop Banner in his tracks and prevent him escaping

the cage and winning the match.


Dante crawls for the still open door and gets his hands on the floor ? but

Brett interrupts his exit by grabbing his ankle and dragging him back into

the centre of the ring. He's still visibly in pain from that crushing elbow

drop, but fights through it to stomp away at his downed opposite man.


Styles: What a show of determination from these men!


Heyman: F*cking Detrermined is "The Assassin" Dante Mueller -

F*cking Determined.


Styles: Don't forget Brett Banner - the champ must be fighting

through pain that a normal man would be unable to bear.


Heyman: Meh.


Determined is right ? Dante fights to his feet, even as Banner pummels him

with punch after punch to his back and the back of his head. As Banner

still keeps the merciless hits coming, Dante drives his shoulder into

Banner's gut and forces him back into the turnbuckle. Banner arches his

back and his face is a mask of pain, but this does not prevent Dante from

driving another shoulder strike into his abdomen. And another. Dante takes

a step backward, to give him the momentum to really add some emphasis to

his next strike? and it connects with authority. As The Assassin steps

backwards, away from the turnbuckle, Brett slumps down onto the mat like a

puppet with its strings cut.


The crowd are still standing, and extremely vocal in expressing their

excitement at this gripping match. Dante looks up to the top of the cage,

and the crowd pop again like crazy ? cheering, whooping and clapping

encouragement to him. The Eternal Opportunist heads for opposite turnbuckle

from where the champ remains motionless, climbs on top and grabs the top of

the cage to climb out.


Heyman: Could this be it? Could this be the win for Dante?


Banner is now shaking off the cobwebs and has groggily pulled himself up to

his feet using the ropes to assist him. He rushes at the escaping Mueller,

stopping him from scaling the steel by clambering up the turnbuckle behind

him and aiming some clubbing blows at his back. Dante kicks him away and

Banner bumps hard from the turnbuckle. The Eternal Opportunist looks down

on The Brute and decides it's still worth an attempt at attempting to

escape, so continues to head up.


Heyman: He may still make it ? dammit - Banner's up again!


Styles: More hard, clubbing blows from the defending champion, and a

waistlock - like he's got a German suplex in mind.


It certainly looks that way - Dante tries to cling onto the steel cage but

Banner strains away ? repeatedly yanking Dante backwards.


Styles: Oh my God! The Brute succeeds! Dante loses his grip

and is German suplexed from the top turnbuckle - flipping entirely over and

landing on his front!


More "Holy Sh*t!" chants swell up as both men remain down. This lethal

looking move is replayed several times from several different angles.


Styles: Brett Banner starts to somehow get to his feet again. I say

"somehow" because I simply cannot fathom where he is getting the force of

will to keep on fighting through all the punishment of this career

shortening match.


But the champ finds the will somewhere ? somewhere deep down inside where

he keeps his rage and hate he drags up the testicular fortitude to climb up

onto the nearest turnbuckle and begin his ascent to victory.


Dante remains down, bloodied and battered, in the centre of the ring.

Banner's damaged back slows down his progress up the wall, but through

gritted teeth he keeps hauling himself onward and upward. Up to the top

turnbuckle, a hand on the top of the cage, and suddenly?


Styles: Dante is back in the game! Don't ask me how, but he's up

again, and after the champ with a vengeance!



The Assassin grabs at The Brute's left ankle and attempts to pull him off

the cage wall. Brett tries to kick him away, but Dante fights to hold on.

Banner kicks him away and swings his right leg up to the top of the cage

and begins to haul himself up. Dante's up again ? again he grabs at Brett's

leg and uses it to help himself climb up to the top of the cage!


The defending champion clings on for dear life as all of the challenger's

240 Ib weight pulls at him - but he clings on, his knuckles white and his

fingers now starting to stream with blood as the steel mesh lacerates them.


Styles: This is proving to be an epic clash of two men who simply

refuse to quit!


Heyman: Or, to be more precise, one man who won't quit and

another who should.


Styles: Can't you even try to be impartial?


Heyman: Nope.


Both men are now on the top of the cage ? both uncomfortably straddled over

the steel wall - face to snarling, bloody face.


The crowd starts warring chants: "Let's go Banner, let's go!"? "Let's go

Dante, let's go!" as a battle is waged atop the steel construction. Both

men trade blows ? rocking each other backwards ? both hanging on



Styles: Quite simply, I have never in all my years seen anything

quite li - -


Styles abruptly stops talking and the assembled crowd let out a collective

horrified gasp as both men topple from their perch. Both men fall to the

outside of the ring and remain motionless on the floor.


The relay shows a double punch ? a simultaneous knockout blow from both



The camera cuts to a woman in the crowd, close to the action, who clasps

her hands to her mouth in wide-eyed horror. No "Holy" chants from the crowd

for this ending ? no "oh my God" from the commentator - just the

uncomfortable silence as thousands look on as two men are attended to by

medics ? two men who have still not moved after their possible career ? or

life ? ending fall.


The replays show that they hit at the same time. From every angle caught on

video there is nothing in it ? no clear winner.


Heyman: With no conclusive ending, and neither man fit to continue ?

how will this be resolved? Is Brett Banner still the champion (God forbid)?

Will there be a rematch?


Styles: More importantly, Paul ? are these two brave men going to be



Heyman: There's only one way to find out ? on the next XTV!


Styles: God, you're cold?


Heyman: God you're an insufferable pain in the a?


Fade to black from an image of Dante Mueller and Brett Banner both being

put onto stretchers, neck braces in place, being swarmed around by medics

and officials.

Edited by Paul
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Credits Thus far:


Show opening / US Title match: Telf

DA Xmas Promo: Boyo

TV Title match: TGO / Retromark / Christof

Tag Team Title Match: Boyo

Retromark Promo: Christof

ERE vs TWO tag match: Evil Gringo

Howell vs Twiggie: Twiggie / Edgemaster709874198648793162948

Main Event: Brett Banner


Bane of my life: TWO Server

Edited by Paul
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