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TWO Stars XTV 44: December 22nd 2005

The B-Man

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The following program is a post watershed production, it will contain scenes and storylines not suitable for children and some of the content may also be unacceptable to other viewers. This program may also contain strobe lighting effects.


We are in a bar of the "strange" kind and the camera zooms in at the bar where we see Michael Cole in a see through top. A few seconds pass and the bar tender comes back with 4 shots of Tequilla.


Cole: Jaxxy baby, ive got some more drink in.


We cut to the table where we see Arkham and Jaxx sitting there. Keith gets up off his chair obviously drunk.


Jaxx: You sure you don't want a drink big man?


Arkham: Me don't finks it's wise to be dinkies me have matches with Slim Jim laters.


Suddenly the hand pupper comes up from under the table.


Doctor: That's right Arkham you need to be focused.


Suddendly about 6 or 7 guys rush around the Doctor.


Guy: My name is Peter Enis and I love men in uniform.


Guy: My name is David Ick and I love Doctors.


Guy: My name is Kenny Nob and I love men who are Doctors.


Doctor: What no get away from me.


The puppet is taken off the hand of Arkham and taking into a crowd of people dancing to "In the Navy"


Doctor: Arkham, stop them, stop them, please.


Jaxx: He, he , he alriiiiighht.


Cole and Jaxx knock back there drinks as Arkham goes into the pile of men to try and get back the Doctor.


Arkham: Leave him alone, he is mine.


D.Ick: Oh sorry man I didn't realise he was taken.


Doctor: Damn it this place is mad, get those two Arkham and lets leave here. We have a match to prepare for.


Arkham: Is you twos coming?


Jaxx: Not yet, but I might be if Cole drinks anymore.


'Carve me an Edge' by Fake Ideal starts to play as the XTV opening video plays. Images are displayed throughout the NEW title sequence:


Deadman striking the knee of The Incredible Holt

Dante Mueller with the Vampiric Embrace locked in

The formation of S.E.X.

Jimmy Redman and The Judge celebrating their tag title victory

The Black Dragon debuting

Michael Howell III stepping out of a limo

Darkstar handing a contract between Gower and Deadman

Jordi Warner promoting his book

TLA and Rob Schneider at the Lebanese Gigolo premiere

Triple V burying two jobbers

Brett Banner looking out of his hood

Shane Cross cutting a promo

The Million Dollar Man, Christopher Eagles stepping out of a limo

Evil Gringo hitting one of his multiple finishers (you pick )

TIH trashing Akten’s TV


Brett Banner on his knees, holding the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time




Pyro’s rocket around the MEN's Arena as the cameras spin to show all kinds of fan’s signage.


Styles: Welcome everyone to Manchester, England and this one Hour XTV special.


Heyman: Something that wasn't special was what we just saw, that was just sick.


Styles: It was disturbing to say the least and I am pretty sure I saw Sam H in the background trying to kep of the camera.


Heyman: Well moving on from that what a show we have for you this evening it will be The Incredible Holt taking on Dwayne Phelps.


Styles: Not to mention Arkham taking on Slim Jim.


Heyman: After what we just witnessed, Joey I would not want to be in the ring with any of these guys.


Styles: Be glad you aren't called Slim Jim then. Also we have a huge blockbuster 8 man tag as our Main Event this evening it will be the team of Evil Gringo, Black Dragon, Brett Banner & Dante Mueller vs Michael Howell III, Niles, Twiggie & Deadman.


Heyman: Yes what a match up that should be, Joey, no doubt about that.

Edited by The B-Man
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We cut back to the SEX dressing room. The crowd cheer and are still laughing at the opening video.


Keith: So, when do they arrive?


Michael: Sorry, who?


Keith: All of the men.


Michael: Erm, what men?


Keith: Oh come on Coley, you must know.


Michael: Look Keith, I'm sorry, but you've lost me.


Keith: This place is called the MEN Arena, so where are all of the men?


Michael: Oh Keith, I thought I was man enough for you.


Keith: You are, but I wanted some men, especially here.


Cut to...

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Cuts to a shot of a roaring fire, festive yule logs, candles, mulled wine and a great big christmas tree. Boyo appears in shot. He is wearing a red festive Christmas jumper festooned with knitted pictures of reindeer and snowflakes. He's also wearing brown cords and brogues. He is sloshing a glass of rich dark brandy around in an elegant manner. Boyo smirks at the camera.


The camera pans over to a piano, Boyo appears in the shot again and sits at the piano and clicks his fingers by pressing them together. Boyo nods to something off camera and the camera pans across and we see Sickness in a cage wearing a muzzle. Sickness is growling and thrashing around in the cage. Saliva is dripping from foamy corners of his mouth and, naturally, blood has got all over his clothes. And whiskey. Sickness is also struggling to escape from a straight jacket.


The camera pans back to Boyo, who starts playing the piano with a smirk on his face.


Boyo (singing):

Dark Alliance working overtime

Drinkin' wine

It's fighting time!


Mr Sickness is gonna neutralise

Before taking lives

Using knives


Boyo's gonna lead a mission

And Sickness' got such super resiliance


Der der der der Dark!

Always fighting for the tag team belts!


Der der der der Alliance!

Always leaving you in a mess!!


Der der der der Dark!!

Always pokin' you in the eye

Come see your fighting chance

Fly awaaaaaayyyyy!!!


That's for you, Judge and Redman.


Camera cuts to a sneering, smug Boyo then fades out.

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We fade back in from XTV's first commercial break of the evening to the door of the TWOStars resident medical expert... Dr Nick...


DR.N: Hi Everybody!


EG: Hey you... shut up ese and get on with my neck ache... jeez you come to America for better health care and get this loco paco...


The Mexican Sensation is lay flat on his stomach as Dr. Nick applies Ice and his healing hands to the neck of the Gringo... The crows cheers at the sight of the former TWOStars champion...




Dr. N: Who is it?


TG: Tod Grisham... I need to speak to the Gringo...


Nick looks down at the Gringo who nods his head and winces... Nick opens the door for Grish and leaves...


DR N: And remember... No buerrtos!


Nick walks up the corridor and Grish siddles into the room like Jaxx into Coles colon...


TG: Gringo... last week you where taken out at the hands of a new faction in TWOStars... How do you feel...


EG: HOW DO I FEEL! I'm on a frickin' doctors table you buerro! Jeez... You blind ese? Not see the word DOCTOR on the door you loco b**tard...


TG: Well it seems last weeks attack hasn't harmed your anger...


EG: Aw hell no ese... Those punks wanna talk about impact and taking peoples spots? Well chicos I felt your impact and bruised I may be ese... I'M STILL STANDING!


Crowd cheers at the Gringo's defience...


EG: The Gringo knows all about impact... He went from jobless zero to the GREATEST TWOStars champion in two months... He held the title for 5 months and defeated a whole promotion! Now that chico's is impact... But, you have my attention, and now in a good way ese...


TG: How so Gringo?


EG: Well tonight your safe... I have bigger fish to fry with the main event... yes chico, something the Gringo IS and what you WANT to be... And then me and the Big Greenie are gonna punk out ERE one last time at Zero Tolerance homes... and then...


TG: Yes?


EG: It's time for a Rumble ese! And I know that those little punks are gonna be there... So listen up kids... Stick your nose in my business ONE more time and I will make it my mission to KILL you all... The only spots you'll have is the hives you break out in chico's when you hear my name and know that I AM the fear in the DARK... And if your very unlucky ALL your future holds...


TG: One last thing Gringo... Aren't you looking past Zero Tolerance just a little...


EG: Oh no ese... The Gringo is not short-sighted... This Sunday, the 25th, the most religous of days... Zero Tolerance... Well... DEADMAN! I will make you live up to your name and it will be you stuck on top of the Christmas Tree... It will be you who finally believes in the MESSIAH... The only MESSIAH in TWOStars ese... E.V.I.L.... GRINGO! Now where is that donkey loving doctor?!?!


TG: I'll go see if I can find him...


EG: You do that chico... and hurry up... I'm getting a little Gringofied...


Todd rushes out of the room in search of Dr. Nick as we cut to....

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Back from the usual corporate stuff


The opening rifts of “You don’t see the signs” hits the arena PA, accompanied by the booing from the Manchester crowd


Styles: Well would you listen to that reaction!


Heyman: Disrespect, nothing but disrespect Styles


Styles: Whatever it is, this crowd is all over The Incredible Holt tonight


The arena darkens, only illuminated by the green graphics on the tron until The Incredible Holt brushes the curtain to one side and makes his way out to the stage


The crowd continues to boo the former champion, who as ever does little to acknowledge their presence


Heyman: These people are so fickle. So fickle and so dumb. They want quality matches and yet when a man of the calibre of Holt returns to action, this is how they treat him


He takes a couple of paces forward, the camera showing the caption – THE INCREDIBLE HOLT – THE FUTURE before a waterfall of white pyro masks Holt and the ramp from view before the champ marches through.


Styles: Fickle? Maybe one day when Holt does something for the fans they’ll get off his back


Heyman: What about Zero Tolerance then? Not only has Holt rushed himself back from injury to be there, he’s agreed to team up with a man that both he and I can’t stand


Holt is a picture of measured aggression as he makes his way down the ramp


Styles: I agree that’s commendable but until all is said and done the jury remains out.


TC: Making his way to the ring, hailing from London, England. Weighing in at 297 pounds, representing The Future, ladies and gentlemen, The INCREDIBLE HOLT


Holt strides up the steps and over the top rope


Heyman: I still can’t see how Holt will be 100% for the pay per view, which puts his team at a distinct disadvantage


Styles: Well that knee is still heavily strapped, we’ve never been given the official word on just how much damage the attack from Deadman


Big Greenie raises his hand, who to no one knows, it’s not like anyone in the crowd is rooting for him


TC: And his opponent, from Derby, England. Weighing in at 265 pounds, he is the Derby Destroyer, Dwayne Phelps


The crowd give Phelps a warm reception, not in recognition of his calibre but out of dislike for his opponent


Heyman: The Derby Destroyer?? That kid looks like the only thing he’s destroyer recently is the menu at Wimpy’s


Referee Charles Robinson rings the bell as Holt homes in on Phelps straight away, sending his fellow countryman backwards into the corner with a knee to the gut


Styles: Holt wasting no time here Paul, Tony Chimmel barely given a moment to get out of the ring!!!


Heyman: If Chimmel was more alert on the wrestling rather than the concessions he’d do a better job, that’s all I’m going to say


Styles: Holt with another knee to the mid section. Follows it up with a big shoulder, Paul this is a mauling!


Holt steps back, allowing Phelps to come forward and straight into a spinebuster from the former champion


Heyman: For someone who’s been on the shelf for a month he’s looking fresh


Styles: Fresh as a daisy Paul! Shades of Arn Anderson with that spinebuster.


Heyman: You won’t see a better spinebuster in this federation that's for sure


The Incredible hauls the out of shape Phelps to his feet, Phelps is out on his feet.


Heyman: You know he could pin this kid at any time


Styles: Well look at him, the guy is out of it already


Heyman: This is all about sending a message ahead of Zero Tolerance


Styles: And sending a message he is as Phelps is held over the shoulders of Holt, its locked in Paul! The Torture Rack! We’ve not seen Holt use this for some time


Heyman: Another string to the bow for Holt, this is a message and I hope Deadman is reading this loud and clear


Robinson checks on the seemingly unconscious Phelps before calling for the bell


Styles: Well one man who isn’t loud and clear is Dwayne Phelps, this thing is over!


Holt drops Phelps to the ground before stepping over the top rope and back up the ramp


TC: Here is your winner, by submission, The Incredible Holt


Styles: Wow!


Heyman: Wow indeed Styles, Holt is back, he’s fresh and he’s not wasting any time


Styles: Deadman the notice is served, what a pay per view Zero Tolerance is shaping up to be


Cut to TWOshop reduced Barry “The Future” Gower merchandise sale

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We come back from TWOshop reduced Barry “The Future” Gower merchandise sale adverts.


Todd Grisham is waiting by the lockeroom area, wearing his usual Deer-in-the-headlights look and

with a bad-aid on top of his head, thanks to the atack he received from Drake Rush last week.

Through the back stage area we see Black Dragon making his way to the locker rooms. Grish

spots the man he's been waiting to interview, Grish runs forward to cut Dragon off..


TG: Oh...oh... Mr Dragon, Mr Dragon could I grab a moment with you?


BG: I'm in a hurry Todd so lets make it quick.


TG: I was wondering what you had to say about what happened to your close friend Evil

Gringo last week?


BG: What happened last week was a cowardly act by the scumbags called ''The New Blood''.

Who the hell do these guys think they are? Not only they put their hands on innocent victims like Mamacita,

but it takes 4 of them to take out two guys. These punks will be taught a hard lesson,

we will make them respect the this business, we will make them respect the people that

helped make this company what it is today. We will make them respect what every TWO

Superstar has worked their ass off, and that is to make this wrestling company the biggest in the world.Wether they like it, or not. Now excuse me Grish.


Black Dragon goes past Todd and opens the door to his locker room area. Inside we see

that Dragons locker room has been vandalized, all of his personal affects have been thrown

around the room or smashed and torn to pieces. Sitting on a chair with his feet on

a table is Drake Rush, he's dresed in his ring gear and a pair of expensive ray bans,

belonging to Black Dragon.


DR: Hey esse, this is some nice stuff you've got here. Well, whats left of it. I like these

glasses too Homes, too expensive for a little kid like you but I think they look good on me,

whatcha think?


The Messiah props the glasses on his forehead and smiles disingenuously at Dragon who's

struggling to keep his temper.


BD: You think that's funny eh? Think you're a big man coming in and trashing my stuff?

Think your some kind of hotshot blind-siding Gringo like the yellow dog you really are? I'm

going to...


DR: What?


Drake stands up sharply, sending his chair clattering into the wall behind him.


DR: What are you gonna do? Come on little man, what are you gonna do? You gonna call your

big brother to come beat me up? You gonna get your best pal Gringo to come tell me off?

Well whatever your gonna do cuz, you better do it twice, cause you know the New Blood always

hunt in packs ...


Stepping out of the shadows in a corner of the locker room The Omega Male and Red Scorpion stride into camera shot. Dragon suddenly realises he's not in control of the situation anymore and makes to back towards the door but The Messiah has edged behind him and Dragons now stuck with the two men surrounding him. Arron Winter breathes deeply as he prepares to speak.


AW: You still have not seen. You still have not thought. You and all the others who have

tried to stop us from achieving our goals, stopped us from achieving our dreams. We will not

stop. We will never cease and everybody that we step on to achieve our aims will be as a

drop of water is to an ocean and the single leaf is to the wood...Who now put dream in thy

slumbering mind? Who, with bright fears lean tapered, crossed a hand athwart a beam, and

stooping, truth maligned spake so thy spirt speach should understand? Know 'tis the coursing

of the New Blood you hear, and deep and freezing is your fear, but like the passing of the

moon, your pain will all be over soon..


A slow, malevolent smile spreads across Frostbites face as he speaks the last few lines,

lowering his head so he is speaking directly into Black Dragons face. Despite his odd

language the tone of Arrons voice is chilling a look of genuine panic can be seen in Dragons



DR: Now listen little man, we could spend all evening chewing you up and spitting you out

but we've got better things to do with more important people. Come on Mr Winter lets get

out of here..


Drake grabs onto Arrons and Scorpion shoulder, which breaks him from the almost trance like state Omega had been in. Both Omega and Scorpion look at Drake and nod and the three men leave the room pushing past Black Dragon with out a care....


We cut too adverts.

Edited by Drake
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Back from the commercials and we cut back to the S.E.X. dressing room.


Jaxx: Hey Michael fancy a game of Twister.


Arkham: Twistie yeah, can me plays?


Doctor: I don't think it's wise Arkham, you have a match with Slim Jim remember.


Arkham: Oh yeahs. Oh well me likes doing spinnies.


Cole: Ok, but I can barely stand little own play twister, but I will give it a go.


Jaxx: Who said I wanted you to be able to keep your balance? He, he, Allllriiiighhhhttt!!!


Arkham: Okies here we goes.


Arkham spins the spinner and it lands on right foot yellow.


Arkham: Yellow foot right.


Doctor: That's right foot, yellow, Arkham.


Arkham: Oppsy.


Jaxx: Yeah, I got this.


Cole: Me too.


Arkahm: Okies, here we goes agains.


Arkahm again spins the spinner and this time it lands on right foot red.


Arkham: Red foot right.


Doctor: Right food red.


Arkham: Oh yeah, oppsy.


Jaxx: Jeez I am flexible but I dunno if I can do this.


A few seconds pass before Jaxx falls backward with his head between Cole's legs.


Jaxx: This looks like more fun.


Cole then loses his balance falling groing first into the face of Jaxx.


Jaxx(Muffled): Alllriiighhhhttt.


Cuts to a Zero Tolerance promo

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We're back from the Zero tolerance promo.............


We see Evil Gringo's vallet, Mamacita in the dressing room. We hear the door opening and in comes Ashton Butcher.




Butcher: Calm down, I just want to talk.


Mamacita: Speak.


Butcher: I just want to apoligise about last week.


Mamacita: It's a bit late for apoligies now.


Butcher: Hear me out. I had no business putting my hands on you like I did last week. I'm sorry.


Unconvinced, the crowd boo's loudly.


Mamacita: What is it you really want Butcher?


Butcher: You.


Mamacita: What?


Butcher: You heard me. The New Blood are taking over Becki, we're like a runaway freight train, and everyone here at TWOstars are on the tracks. But you see Miss Moss, we're giving you a free ticket to safety. Think about it, with you by our side we become even more powerful, even more dominant.


Mamacita looks down, arms folded, in deep thought.


Butcher: Well?


Mamacita: I think you better leave.


Crowd cheers at Mama's decision.


Butcher: So you're going to blow this oppitunity?


Mamacita: I'll blow you in a minute!


Crowd laughs as 'The Person' smirks.


Mamcita: Just leave Ashton. Before Gringo finds you here.


Butcher: Just think about it.


Ashton takes a small card out of his pocket and flicks it to Mamacita. She catches it as Butcher leaves, and studies it.

A flush sound fills the arena. Evil Gringo steps out of the bathroom.


Evil Gringo: Everything alright Mamy? I thought I heard you talking to someone.


Mamacita: Everythings alright.


Mamacita puts the card into her bra and turns to Gringo.


Camera fades to shopzone commercial.

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Back from the Shopzone commerical we see Ashton Butcher walking away from the NGA dressing room with a look of smug satisfaction on his face...


EG: Hey ese....


Butcher turns around...


EG: You listen to me punk... You chico's may have got one over on the New Gringo Army last week, but chico when you come after my Mamacita... Thats a different story...


AB: And what you gonna do about it old man?


EG: Right now? Nothing, because I know ese that my girl is staying by my side and no matter what you try chico she is gonna stay there...


AB: Ahhh... But a New Blood is rising... And what makes you think she'll wanna stay with an old fart like you when she can feed off the fresh meat around here.... (AB points down to his crotch to the boo's of the crowd...)


EG: Well ese... Going off last week you don't know how to handle a women properly ese... And if you think that thing down there is fit for anything more then a spot of oviedo loving... well chico you are mistaken...


AB: Oviedo? Can you not speak English you dimwit?


EG: Bottom line is chico (Gringo gets right in Butcher's face...) YOU stay away from MY women... Or like I said before... I am gonna cause a Rumble you don't wanna be a part of ese... Like I said, I can be your worst nightmare or...


AB: Or what?


EG: Just a bad dream ese... Just a bad dream... Now run along punk cos the only blow you are gonna get around here is the back of my hand, get me el stupido?


Gringo stalks off back to his dressing room as Butcher stands there staring a hole in the back of him... He enters the room and slams the door in temper...


AB: Huh... Funny thats not what you missus said when she took my number... see you around Gringo....


Cut to the inside of the NGA dressing room...


BM: Whats up honey...


EG: Don't give me that Mami... I heard everything... I see you near that punk again and I'll break his back like a god damn toothpick... you feeling me Mami?


BM: What did you hear?


EG: Enough... Now I've got a match to get prepared for... You gonna help or you still thinking about that no good punk?


BM: Sorry hun... It's just he burst in...


EG: Yeah, well the only bursting he'll be involved in Mami is when I burst his head... That ese is on the list Bee... Remember that he may be the New Blood but I am the Sensation... Think about that...


With that Gringo strides out of the room towards Dr. Nick's for a final check up as the camera is left looking at a preplexed Becki as we fade out to...

Edited by Evil Gringo
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Cuts to a shot of a roaring fire, festive yule logs, candles, mulled wine and a great big christmas tree. Boyo appears in shot. He is wearing a red festive Christmas jumper festooned with knitted pictures of reindeer and snowflakes. He's also wearing brown cords and brogues. He is sloshing a glass of rich dark brandy around in an elegant manner. Boyo smirks at the camera.


Styles: Oh God not this guy again!


PH: Shut your Goddam FACE Joey! When Mr Boyo takes to the piano every sveltly dressed cocktail-lounge hugging piece of tail wants to sing along!


Styles: Uh puh-leeez.


The camera pans over to a piano, Boyo appears in the shot again and sits at the piano and clicks his fingers by pressing them together. Boyo nods to something off camera and the camera pans across and we see Sickness in a cage wearing a muzzle. Sickness is growling and thrashing around in the cage. Saliva is dripping from foamy corners of his mouth and, naturally, blood has got all over his clothes. And whiskey. Sickness is also struggling to escape from a straight jacket.


The camera pans back to Boyo, who starts playing the piano with a smirk on his face.


Boyo (singing):

Boyo the Welsh Matador

I'm so great and a whole lot more

Boyo the Welsh Matador

Shows you some moves you never saw before


Everywhere we go

People stop and stare

Me and Mr Sickness in the tag team spotlight

Bring it on chump you'll never beat us 'cause


Boyo & Sickness: We got the moves that help us get along alrii-iight!!


Boyo: Sickness the disturbed monster

He'll draw blood and a whole lot more

Sickness the disturbed monster

Will give you a wound you've never -


Boyo & Sickness: Saaaaaaawwwwww Befoooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!!!


Camera cuts to a sneering, smug Boyo then fades out.

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Back from the REALLY AWFUL and PATHETIC Dark Alliance Christmas Malarky


Heyman: Who writes that stuff it's genius?


Styles: Genius? Einstein was a Genius, Paul. That makes the "E" Creative team look like a bunch of Rocket Scientists.


Heyman: How can you say that?


Styles: Which part?


Heyman: All of it.


Styles: It's true that's why.


Heyman: Oh com...


Stlyes: Sorry, Paul I will have to stop you there, I am getting word that former ERE Champion Sam H is backstage.


We cut backstage and we see Sam H at the concession stand buying a foot long hot dog. Sam throws the bun in the bin before putting the the hot dog in his mouth and must get slightly over three quartes of it in his mouth.


Voice: He, he , he, allllriiiighhhhtttt.


The camera pans around and we see Keith Jaxx staggering with Michael Cole down the corridor.


Jaxx: Look Mickey it's Sam H former, fu, fu, former ERE Champion.


Cole: That it is. And it looks like the rumors of him sucking good are true.


Jaxx: Giddy, Giddy , Giddy, Goo, Goo, Goo.


Cole: He is gayer than you Keithy, he was part of TGX, The Ghey Xtreme.


Jaxx: You don't think he would, do you?


Cole: He might.


Sam H: He guys. What can I do you for?


Jaxx: Oh I think you know.


Jaxx winks at Sam H who looks around the place before lowering to his knees as the camera cuts back to ringside.

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Styles: I think I am going to be sick, Paul.


Heyman: You aren't the only one.


The camera cuts to inside the ring


Tony Chimmel stands in the middle of the ring, preparing to announce the upcoming bout.


Tony: The following match is for one fall, introducing first, weighing in at 227 pounds, he is “The Untouchable” Slim Jim!!!


The arena lights go out and are replaced by smoke and spotlights that figure-8 the crowd. Superstar by Saliva plays. There are a few cheers that go up around the audience.


Styles: It looks like some of the fans still remember Slim Jim at his best.


Heyman: At his best? When was that exactly?


Slim runs to the ring knocking fists with the fans, he slides under the bottom rope and then jumps to his feet with his arms in the air. The Saliva tune fades out and the fans who are cheering quieten down.


Tony: His opponent, weighing in at 320 pounds, representing Sports Entertainment Xtreme, he is Arkham!!!


The crowd explodes with cheering for the Face of the Year, Insane In The Brain begins to play and the cheering increases.


Arkham walks out onto the staging, he smacks the side of his head a couple of times before walking down towards the ring, the crowd cheer as he approaches the ring.


Styles: Arkham with a huge weight advantage going into this match, Paul.


Heyman: Nearly 100 pounds and that’s the equivalent of 400 quarter pounders.


Arkham gets to ringside and uses the ropes to pull himself into the ring, he pulls on the top rope a couple of times as though testing that it's going to hold him and his opponent with Slim Jim immediately running at him hitting him with a forearm to the back of the head.


Styles: Slim Jim wasting no time and you feel maybe Cole or Jaxx could of said something there if they weren’t looking for MEN.


Heyman: Arkham may be insane but compared to those to he is actually quite normal.


The referee calls for the bell as Slim Jim looks to Irish Whip Arkahm to the right hand side of the ring only for the move to be reversed. Slim Jim comes back off the ropes and looks to hit Arkham with a crossbody block only for the Big Man to catch him and fall forward driving “The Legend” down into the canvas.


Styles: Not quite what Slim Jim had in mind I am sure.


Heyman: And that’s 320 pounds of man falling on top of you. Not a very nice thing to have happen.


Styles: You’re right, Paul.


Arkham picks “The Myth” back up to a vertical base and whips him into the far right hand corner of the ring before following it up with a hard hitting clothesline knocking him slightly out of the corner.


Styles: Slim Jim just being torn apart here by Arkham.


Heyman: Slim Jim is no lightweight, Joey but compared to Arkham he is like a rag doll and at the minute he is being treated like a reject.


Arkahm grabs the throat of SJ and picks him up turning him toward the centre of the ring before tossing him down to the canvas.


Styles: Things just keep on getting worse for Slim Jim, Paul.


Heyman: If he had any sense he would run or beg to be pinned.


Styles: I bet Jaxx would like to pin him.


Heyman: Did you HAVE to?


Arkham helps SJ back up to a vertical base once more only to take him back down to the mat with a scoop slam followed by an elbow driven hard into the chest of “The Untouchable”.


Styles: Ohh, right in the solar plexis, and Arkahm now with the cover.








Thr…., Slim Jim gets his shoulder up off the canvas to some booing from the crowd.


Styles: Slim Jim able to kick out, but I am not sure that was a wise thing to do, Paul.


Heyman: Well he hasn’t been in this match since his sneak attack so maybe getting pinned there would have been smart but he is willing to fight on.


Arkham waits for Slim Jim to get back up to his feet and as he does he whips him toward the far end of the ring. Slim Jim comes back off the ropes and ducks underneath the Big Boot attempt by The Insane One.


Styles: Slim Jim avoiding the Big Boot.


Heyman: Lucky for him.


Slim Jim having continued his momentum comes back off the ropes hitting Arkham with a clothesline as he turns back around.


Styles: Clothesline from Slim Jim but it barely budges the Big Man.


Heyman: 320 pounds is a lot of weight to shift.


Styles: I’ve never tried.


Slim Jim takes a look at Arkham before backing off toward the ropes. “The Man” comes back off the ropes and again hits Arkham with clothesline that hardly budges the Insane One.


Styles: And the second attempt was no better, Paul.


Heyman: He is going to have to try a darn side harder than that.


Slim Jim for a third time runs off the ropes and as he comes back he is hit with a side walk slam compliments of Arkham.


Styles: Slim Jim down on the canvas and that is definitely not what was on the agenda.


Heyman: You got that right. He calls himself Untouchable but he sure as hell felt that, that’s for sure.


Arkham hooks the leg of Slim Jim as he goes for the attempt at the cover:








Thr……, Slim Jim puts the shoulder up to break the count.


Styles: Still not enough to put him away.


Heyman: I am not a big fan of Arkham’s but it would have been wise for Slim Jim to call it a day right there.


Arkham gets back up to his feet bringing Slim Jim up along with him. The Insane One places Slim Jim’s arms in a straight jacket like position as he lifts him up and runs toward the far right hand turnbuckle ramming the back of “The Legend” right into the corner.


Styles: I hate to be the one to point out the obvious but that is going to hurt.


Heyman: Not as much as this is….


Arkham picks SJ up above his head into a Gorilla Press position before dropping him down face first into the top turnbuckle.


Styles: Oh my God, that is going to leave you with one sore kisser.


Heyman: I believe he calls that Brain Dammage and Slim Jim may want to book a Cat scan just to be on the safe side.


Styles: And Arkhams not finished yet, Paul.


Heyman: He must be setting him up for the finish.


Arkahm lifts Slim Jim up into a crucifix powerbomb position before sitting out onto his knees hitting a Canadian like back breaker.


Styles: Insanity has been unleashed and it was murder she wrote.


The Insane One with the Lateral Press.










Ding Ding Ding


TC: And here is your winner, Arkham.


The crowd pop big as “Insane in the Brain” hits the speakers.


Styles: Well to say that was easy for Arkham would be an understatement but will it be that easy tomorrow night at Zero Tolerance?


Heyman: We don’t know what kind of match it is Joey, but I can assure you Eagles will not be bowled over as easy as that.

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Styles: Sorry, Paul I have hear there is some strange noises coming from the Sports Entertainment Extreme locker room.


Heyman: And we are wanting to cut there? Dead God.


The camera cuts to the inside of the S.E.X. dressing room but all we see as a sofa and some strange noises.


Voice: MMMM, yes that's it, that's it right there.


Voice(Shouting): One thing I hate about drinking is all the pissing you have to do, it's sucks. Almost as good as you Sam.


The locker room door opens up and we see Arkham standing there.


Arkham: Keithy me wuns.


Sam H pops up from behind the sofa to laughing from the crowd.


Sam H: Erm, yeah, I don't think I am meant to be here.


Sam H runs off before Cole then pops up from behind the sofa.


Cole: Where did he go? Sam!!!!!!


Arkham: Was you playing twisty without me?


Suddenly the Docotor pops up beside Arkham.


Doctor: I knew you wanted MEN but really to stop that low, and Sam literally did.


Jaxx walks back into the room with a HUGE Grin on his face a can of cream in his right hand and just a pouch covering him up.


Jaxx: Oh my God. Arkham, Doctor. I, I, I was going to make a cake.


Doctor: In that attire?


Jaxx: I didn't want to get my good top dirty.


Doctor: You don't expect us to believe that do you?


Suddenly Boyo and Sickness come into the room.


Boyo: A, one, a, two, a one two three...


Suddendly the camera cuts away to a don't EVER do this at home promo

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Back from dont EVER try this at home.....


The camera rushes backstage.


Heyman: Now what’s going on here?


Styles: I don’t know I’m getting word that there is some sort of disturbance in the backstage area.


The camera shakily arrives at the scene where a figure is lying face down on the floor.


Heyman: Who is that?


Styles: Is that? It is that’s Jimmy Redman Paul!!


Heyman: Well here comes The Judge now!


The Judge rushes into view, looks down at the fallen Redman and turns him over to reveal the pool of blood.


Styles: Good God someone did a number on Redman!


Heyman: Gee I wonder who?!


The Judge springs up, a look of fury in his eyes, but is struck from behind by a steel chair.


Styles: What the hell?!


The Judge goes to stand up wearily but is struck again in the head, as glass shatters everywhere.


Heyman: Was that a whiskey bottle?


The camera turns to reveal the Dark Alliance standing over the fallen tag team champions.


Boyo: Well that sure was easy! Come Zero Tolerance those belts are coming home where they belong.


Sickness: Merry Christmas everyone!!!


Heyman: I can’t believe it the Dark Alliance have taken out both Jimmy Redman and The Judge!


Styles: At Zero Tolerance it will be face to face two on two!!! We need help back there!!


Cut to ad break.

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Back from Commercials.


Tony Chimmel: Ladies and Gentelmen the next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an eight-man tag match. It is tonight's main event!


The crowd cheers at the announcement, and have been waiting for something that won't be an obvious squash all night.


The lights fade and "My Friend Of Misery", plays loud out of the speakers, and a green lasers flash on the stage and Black Dragon comes out and on to the stage, he rush to one side and salutes the crowd, and then rushes to the other side to salute the crowd. Black Dragon jogs down the ramp and climbs the top rope, where he lifts his arms and a big explosion goes off above the ring and Black Dragons jumps in the ring, ready for battle.


TC: Introducing first… Black Dragon.


The crowd cheers the rookie.


The lights dim and the crowd buzz as Not Listening by Papa Roach booms through the in house speakers.... Brooding dark red and green lights flash and spiral around the ramp and ring and pyro explodes as the Evil Gringo emerges from the back, eyes full of rage, ready for war with his Mamcita, Becki standing proudly behind her man...


TC: And one of his partners… Evil Grrrringo!


The crowd pops quite largely.


A graphic flashes up on the Titantron. First it is just undistinguishable blurs, but soon it turns into an actual picture. A storm is seen and heard in the background. Lightning hits and thunder cracks loudly. The camera goes through the graveyard as the storm continues. Eventually several small shapes are seen in the background. As the camera approaches them, it turns out to be identical tombstones, With names across them all. From left to right they read,



Omega Red

Draven Cage

Mickhail Mills

Chris Eagles

Jordi Warner

Evil Gringo

The Incredible Holt


Behind the graves is a figure perched on the top of a Mausoleum. In the lightning flashes, the figure is revealed to be Dante, trench coat billowing out behind him. Lightning strikes the masoleum where Dante is perched and at the same time lightning strikes in the arena. The crowd jumps at this as the all to familiar pyro explodes. F*cking Determined by Mudvayne is blaring through the arena as Dante walks from amidst the flames. The crowd again pops massively as Dante makes his way to the ring. He throws the guns again and "shoots" each turnbuckle, making pyro blast out in succession as each one is "hit"


TC: Hailing from Hermann, Missouri their partner, “The Assassin” Dante Mueller!


The crowd pops as largely as they did for Gringo.


a spinning, red radiation symbol:



The lights in the arena dim, dry ice seeps out from the entranceway and the ramp is bathed in eerie, deep blue light.


TC: And the final member of their team. From Birmingham, England…


Multiple laser lights project Banner's radiation symbol onto the rampway as it also revolves up on the Titantron.


Weighing 225 lbs, and standing at 6 feet 2 inches…


Banner steps out onto the entrance ramp, head bowed and covered by the hood of his blue and red boxing robe. He slowly spins around, arms outstretched, to reveal that the back of the garment is emblazoned with his symbol.


TC: He is the TWostars Heavyweight Champion of the World…


The Crowd cheers at a level bordering deafening. They easily overpower the next announcement from Tony.


TC: The Brrrrutal Brrrrett Banner!


As he makes his way to the ring he shrugs his shoulders and cracks his neck like a boxer as he psyches himself up for his match.


He steps up onto the ring apron, pauses, then pulls the hood back to reveal his face.




He poses on the apron, proudly gesticulating towards the championship belt which he sports around his waist, now revealed for all to see as his robe is cast aside.


He enters the ring between the top and middle ropes and proceeds to pace like a caged tiger until the match begins.


The flourescant lights all go green, every Titan Tron screen has an image of money falling while cutting to pictures of the "10 Karat Slam" Sutterfly's 'Gun in Hand' plays.


Spend a lifetime

trying to understand.

Why you reason

with a gun in your hand.



Two spark showers start flowing on either side of the titan tron.


What was so bad?

What had he done

to make you return,

this time with a gun?


Niles comes out and rolls out a long red carpet going pretty far down the entrance ramp. Then Howel comes out onto the red carpet.


Intimidation growing bigger.

What the hell made you pull the trigger?


Spend a lifetime

trying to understand.

Why you reason

with a gun in your hand.


The two make it halfway down the ramp before the music changes and fluidly transitions into Twiggie's music.


The arena is bathed in psychedelic swirls.




is displayed in close ups and as a whole across the TWOtron. Jungle Boy recorded by Twiggie's very own band: Bremstrahung Farad is pumped through the speakers of the arena. Twiggie appears at the top of the ramp wheeling his signature recycling bin behind him, his hardcore title hanging over the side. Around his head, loosely restraining his dreads, is tied a faded bandana. He shouts various things to the fans while waving his free arm angrily. The crowd responds by shouting obscenities, and throwing Styrofoam cups.


Chimmel: Weighing in tonight at 196 pounds. He is the self-proclaimed TWOstars Hardcore Champion. He is … Twwwwwwwwwiggie!


He makes his way down the ramp, and around the side of the ring. Leaving his bin at the base of the steps he stares down the Billion Dollar Madman and his Indentured Servant from a pretty good distance.


“Jungle Boy” jams into “You're gonna Pay” and as it hits the crowd boos HUGE as Deadman slowly walks out onto the staging area.


JS: Well here's a man who's not all too popular backstage.


Heyman: Well it's a different story back in the ERE locker room.


TC: From Burnley, Lancashire, weighing in at 258lbs…. He is the Owner of Extreme Revolution Entertainment…… Deadman!


The crowd booing now intensifies as Deadman starts his walk down the ramp towards the ring.


Deadman has now got down to ringside, his eyes are still locked on the team standing in the ring, Evil Gringo in particular.


Deadman walks around the ring taunting the fans on all sides of the ring causing them to boo him more, Deadman just gives out his usual wicked grin before heading towards his partners still outside the ring as "You're gonna Pay" fades out.


Black Dragon, Evil Gringo, and Brett Banner head to their corner, while Twig, Michael, and Niles venture over to their corner. Dante and Deadman square off and start exchanging rights. Referee Arron Beaver calls for the opening bell. Each man is holding his ground, while they exchange right hands to the side of each other's heads.


Styles: Well that Dead European Uppercut, gives the man in black the upperhand.


Heyman: They're both wearing black you moron!


Deadman hits a quick Vertical Suplex, and keeping himself fresh, he tags in the Billion Dollar Madman.


MHIII slingshots over the top rope and takes Dante back to the mat with a cross-body block into a pin.












Styles: Wasting no time Howell hops off and comes off the ropes.


Dante ducks a lariat and when the CEo comes back the Assassin hits a tilt-o-whirl slam.


Styles: Michael Howell gets up quickly, but he's taken back down with a textbook dropkick.


Dante crawls towards the friendly corner. Michael rolls over and grabs the foot of the Assassin. The two get up to their feet, Mikey still holding the boot of the ƒµ©king Determined Dante.


Styles: Enziguri! Both men are back on the mat.


Dante sprawls forwards and leaps to the first hand he can slap. The crowd goes wild as the Mexican Sensation comes through the ropes. Michael Howell III is up, but after a snap kick to his gut he's doubled over.


Styles: A Double-Arm DDT from Evil Gringo


Heyman: What's he doing? Why not go for the pin, instead of jumping off the ropes!?


Instead Gringo goes for a Tequila Slammer to the vulnerable CEO












Niles breaks up the pin with a powerful clubbing blow to the back of The Gringster's head.


Suddenly the camera cuts to backstage. We can see the New Blood's watching the live feed on a TV.


The Indentured Servant can be seen continuing to rain powerful blows upon Gringo's head and neck.


The New Blood's chuckle and laugh as the whole world can see that their actions have made Gringo such an easy target.


The Mexicutioner puts Niles' attack to a stop with a powerful throat chop. The feed then returns to normal.


Niles falls to his knees unable to breathe properly. A “Tribute to Muto” Shining Wizard knocks Niles on his ass, which wastes no time leaving the ring.


Styles: MHIII rolls up schoolboy style!


Heyman: That dumb Mexican! He's letting himself get distracted so easily.













e -kickout


Frustrated Howell pulls Gingo up to a sit.


Styles: A low, but don't kid yourself that was a stiff roundhouse kick to the head!


Gringo is brought to his feet. He then stops Russian Legsweep with punch to gut and hits an Exploder Suplex. Gringo lays on the mat, holding his neck. He rolls onto his stomach and kicks the mat in pain.


The two get to their feet at the same time. Forcefully the Mexican Sensation tucks the head of Michael under his arm. He hooks the CEO's elbows for his patented Double Underhook DDT


Styles: Gringo's staying in control, but his neck is clearly hurting.


Heyman: He can't keep it up. It's just a matter of time before the CEO gains the upper hand.


Gringo tags Black Dragon, while MH3 drags himself, crawls and stumbles towards the heel's corner. Running across the ring, Dragon stops him with a running bulldog. Dragon gives Deadman a cheeky smile.


Heyman: Yeah! Hit 'em!


Deadman swings at Black Dragon from apron, but he ducks. Gaining high elevation on a double jump kick, Black Dragon kicks Twig and Deadman off the apron. Twig grabs Niles to keep from falling, but pulls him down as well.


Styles: And Black Dragon bounces off top rope, for split-legged moonsault onto the CEO.











BD nails a standing front missile dropkick, on the seated Billionaire and goes up top of the empty heel's corner.


Styles: 450 Splash, and Black dragon goes for another pin.












r - kickout


Heyman: A 450 Splash for 2.


Styles: Two and a half.


Howell is completely out of it as The Dead One in back up on the apron. But The Whole Ref'n Show stops Deadman's entrance. Twig, however, is left free to sneak in to the ring. A mule kick knocks Dragon into turnbuckle. He hangs there momentarily.


Styles: Arron Beaver turns around, but Twig exits the ring just in time!

Twig slides out of the ring when he hears Deadman's boot stomp the apron.


Twig slides out of the ring as the ref turns, and crosses over the ring to stop Brett Banner from entering. Twig slides back in just as Brett is subdued, but now Dante needs restraining. Twig grabs Dragon's head and climbs the turnbuckle. Placing his knee on Black Dizzle's head The Colorado Socialist pushes off and land on top of the young luchador.


The crowd can be heard wincing at the barbaric move. Such blatant cheating casues all three faces to try and enter the ring; A situation that any ref but the Whole Ref'n Show would be completely incapable of controlling.


Styles:Twig lands a Reverse Knee Face Driver!


Heyman: Quite possibly the most brutal move in his arsenal.


Twig moves over to his rich, fallen teammate. He shakes him with his foot, but Howell only rolls over. Twig bends down, and a clean slap on the face causes the CEO to swing wildly nailing Twig in the head.


Styles: They call that teamwork!?


Twig lifts up the CEO and whips his to his corner. Arron turns just in time to see Twig tag in, right after he's stepped to the outside.


Heyman: Brilliant! Who needs teamwork when you've got the craftiness of a dirty, funky hippy?


Black Dragon gets to his knees just in time to catch a Gut Wrench Power Bomb.


Twig: Look at this punk! He's not on my level! YOU!


Twig points across the ring to the Champ.


Twig: I want you, Brummie Boy!


Twiggiggin lifts up the tortured Dragon and whips BD to the faces corner and calls for Brett to come in.


Styles: The Cham------


The commentary of Joey Styles is drown out by the deafening roar of the crowd.


Unwisely the Cocky Hippy trades left fists for right forearms. The champ obviously gets the better of the exchange. Once Twilgy is backed into the ropes he's tossed to the other end of the ring. Banner connects a Hiptoss directly into a high-angle Armbar.


Styles: Taking things to the next level. A level, which is clearly above the Twig, Brett repeatedly drops his knee into the ribs of the Colorado Troubadour.


Twig screams and reaches for ropes. Showing his superiority, Brett transitions to Dragon Sleeper.


Styles: Right after a hog lock all the heels pour into the ring, Deadman first. Deadman hits Banner with a facebuster as he turns, and the heels stomp away at the champ.


Styles: Knee to face of the kneeling Brett.


Even Arron Beaver has lost his cool, and you know that's not good.


Styles: Here comes the cavalry!


The Whole Ref'n Show give up as Gringo, Dante, and Black Dragon pour into the ring to put a stop to the mobstomping of the Champ.


Niles hits Black Dragon with haymaker, then Powerbombs him over ropes to the outside. Niles follows and the two brawl on outside.


Gringo and Deadman trade punches over the top ropes, Deadman ends up on top for some mounted punches, and then a knee to the groin.


Howell turns from Banner to Dante and a underhand punch to the gut brings the Rich Boy to his knees.


Styles: Shining Wizard from the Assassin!


Dante props up the CEO in the corner, backs up, and-


Styles: Stinger Splash!


Michael Howell falls to the mat and rolls from the ring. Dante follows slingshotting himself over the top rope onto the Billion Dollar Madman. Twig hits a standing Moonsault on the mob stomped Banner. Twig approaches The Brutal One, who's lying on his back. The PETA Punisher grabs his left arm and pulls Brett onto his right side. Twiggles puts his left foot under Banner's arm, and the back of Twig's knee goes around the back of the Brute's head. With his left arm under Brett's elbow The Southwestern Socialist pushes Banner's arm behind his back in a fancy hammerlock.


Styles: AT Lock! A page from the book of Milano Collection AT!


Heyman: What the hell kinda name is that?


Styles: What kind of name is Balls Mahoney?


Heyman: … Touché.


Brett tries to power out of the hold, but it's locked in tight.


Heyman: It's over. You might as well ring the bell now!


Brett swings his legs around, and gets his foot on the ropes. Arron Beaver tries to get Twig to break the hold, but the damn hippy won't let go.










Twig breaks it off. The PETA Punisher lifts an aching Brett to his feet. He puts the Brute in a 3/4 Facelock and runs up the turnbuckles.


Styles: Acid Drop, comin' up!


Banner tosses Twig off. The Hipster soars across the ring and lands on his back.


Brett: What's wrong!? I thought you wanted a piece of The Champ!


The crowd cheers Brett's remarks. A loud “thunk” is heard. A split screen replays Dante DDT'ing MH the 3 onto the ring steps. The Eternal Opportunist then returns to his corner.


Brett lifts himself up to the second turnbuckle after his taunting, and jumps landing a Flying Knee Drop to Twig's thigh.


The split screen then shows Black Dragon duck a lariat, quickly run up the steps, turn and hit a flying head scissors on Niles. BD returns to his corner.


The Brute yanks the Southwestern Socialist to his feet with a handful of dreads. Brett “The Brutal Brummie” Banner spins the Troubadour around and slaps on a Full Nelson. Twiggles' face is pushed as far forward as his neck will allow.


The camera cuts away just in time to see a Skull Burner from Gringo to Deadman on the outside. Gringo drags his feet all the way to his corner. Deadman, Niles, and Michael Howell III are left lying about and around the ring.


The PETA Punisher is lifted into the air before dropped hard directly on his tailbone.


Heyman: Holy crap!


Styles: What velocity on that Full Nelson Slam! Brett could go for the cover, but I think he wants to teach that little punk a lesson!


Heyman: He's a little hippy, not a punk.


The Serial Thrilla whips Twiggins into the corner and delivers a series of shoulder thrusts. Twig nearly falls to the mat, but he's instead lifted up the turnbuckles.


Styles: Second Rope Superplex!


Heyman: Finally Brettitude goes for the cover













Heyman: Yes!


Styles: With everything left in him, Twiggie gets his shoulder up!


The Brutal One flips the half-dead hippy onto his belly and Banner stands over him. Facing the Colorado Troubabdour's feet he grasps Twig's left leg with his left hand, bending it over his left thigh like a half crab. He then grasps T-Wiggin's right leg with his right hand and crouches down, trapping the Nederlands Native's right ankle behind his right knee.


Styles: the Gamma Lock! With Twig's teammates out of commission, this could spell the end!


Twiggie reaches for the bottom rope, but Brett was wise enough to position Twig in the center of the ring. On the outside, out of sight of The PETA Punisher, Deadman has propped himself up on the edge of the apron. Sensing his window is closing Brett leans back and chops at Twig's stretched ribs. Instinctively Twig reaches back, but he immediately regrets it.


Styles: Banner's cranked it up! The Armbar tacked onto the Double Leglock.


Deadman slides into the ring, but just before Deadmna's Double Axe-Handle smashes into Banner's head the Colorado Troubadour taps. Deadman continues to rain clubbing blows upon the Brute. Entering the ring, Dante puts a stop to the unwarranted attack. Holding the Dead One by the head Dante tosses his fellow man in black over the top rope, and onto the recovering Howell. As the Brute gets to his feet his back meets that of Dante. Both men turn, ready to strike.


Styles: Whoa! We could see a repeat of Summer Slam right here!


The two lower their arms, but stare with an intense anger into the eyes of one another.


Fade to the XTV logo, and then Fade to black. End of show.

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