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It's funny how sometimes the outtakes can be more entertaining than the crappy movie you just saw. So, I give to you...newsletterfaggotry.doc

 

Miss T says:

Threesome

Mr Perfect says:

threesome with big craig and Miss T. *shudders*

Miss T says:

Ew. Its not Big Craig! Its little craig. Anyway No being funny, we havent started

Russ says:

hey guyz big craig here i wanna play da newsletter dudez lol

BRM says:

i like your hat

Russ says:

lol thnx

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Everyone else is ignoring me

BRM says:

puffs

Miss T says:

Shall I change my font so you can read it?

Mr Perfect says:

yes

BRM says:

yes!

Russ says:

no

Miss T says:

I love it!

Miss T says:

oooh I like this one

BRM says:

thats better and more elegant

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Im common

Miss T says:

Like ****i

Miss T says:

right

Miss T says:

Screw everyone else

Miss T says:

we're only having three

BRM says:

4 including you

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Right

Russ says:

I can't read this on my laptop

Miss T says:

Ready?

BRM says:

as ever

Mr Perfect says:

shall i ask Marcus?

Russ says:

Hang on. I need to get dressed

Miss T says:

Three is fine

Mr Perfect says:

k

Miss T says:

Okay welcome to Shooting From The Jip

Miss T says:

Hip*

Mr Perfect says:

jip haha

Russ says:

Shooting Gypsies?

Russ says:

I love it already

Miss T says:

Theres only one rule, no shooting

BRM says:

shame

Russ says:

On gypsies

Mr Perfect says:

*puts gun away*

BRM says:

they took my land

Russ says:

Steal their Calor Gas tanks

BRM says:

blow them up more like

Russ says:

That's gypsie murder

Mr Perfect says:

killing gypsy's isnt murder

BRM says:

your point being?

Mr Perfect says:

it legal

Mr Perfect says:

well, it is to me

Miss T says:

Ive lost the file with all the questions in it!

Russ says:

Let's just discuss gypsies instead

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Will have to do it off the top of my head

BRM says:

they should wash there caravans more often

Miss T says:

Right, so... who are you all and why do we know you at TWO?

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig, I'm always in the chatroom, I think I'm up for a TWOsies and I have a hat.

BRM says:

I'm Ssur my only friend is Russ and i'm a big puff.

Mr Perfect says:

I'm Mr Perfect, i used to be in the chatroom all the time but the forums is just as good so i dont venture into the chatroom anymore unless i have to. yep, that's it

Miss T says:

This is going to be a nightmare

Russ says:

Hey Russ, there's a cycling competition going on in the wooded area across the motorway from your flat, and some arse with a megaphone is shouting stuff and annoying me

Russ says:

I mean you

Mr Perfect says:

who said it would be easy

Russ says:

Whatever

Miss T says:

Im confused

Mr Perfect says:

as always

Miss T says:

Christof is on my back about the deadline

BRM says:

shall we start again?

Russ says:

Christof is on your back. TWO SEX SCANDAL

Miss T says:

No, the show must go on.

BRM says:

had a few of those recently

Russ says:

Shows or sex scandals?

BRM says:

both i guess

Russ says:

I'd pay to see a Sex Scandal Show

Russ says:

Bill Clinton could do cabaret with David Blunket

BRM says:

check out TWOstars next month

Mr Perfect says:

ok now im confused

Russ says:

I recommend putting a little bit of olive oil over your pizza before putting it in the oven, it comes out crispier and full of flavour!

Mr Perfect says:

 

BRM says:

i often find i have problems with the base becoming rather soggy

Miss T says:

Who are your favourite posters and Why?

Mr Perfect says:

Wyndorf, he's funny as f***

Russ says:

I have a Pulp Fiction poster with Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta in black and white. It's stuck up by bluetack.

Miss T says:

No, seriously

Miss T says:

Is it me?

 

Mr Perfect says:

you, lol good joke

Mr Perfect says:

oh your serious....

BRM says:

i don't have a favorite poster.

Miss T says:

What do you all do in the “Real World”, You got a job, a social life?

Russ says:

You don't want to put on too much olive oil though, or it all runs to the middle and makes your pizza greasy

Russ says:

I live on my W101 salary and I play old TWO Radio episodes and pretend Colin, Draven, Simon and Chris are talking to me.

BRM says:

yes i have a job, but it's boring so i won't bore you with it. My social life is rather funky though but as of late it has seen me being escorted off certain premises

Miss T says:

I hate trouble makers

Mr Perfect says:

i work with my dad (he's a fireman & a caretaker at my old school) i help him with stuff at the school like building things, i have a gf called Kelsey and i go out with my buddies whenever we all have free time.

Russ says:

In agriculture, olive oil is an oil extracted from the fruit of the European olive tree (Olea europaea L.), which originated in the Mediterranean area.

Miss T says:

Kelsey?

Mr Perfect says:

yes...Kelsey

Mr Perfect says:

kel...sey

Russ says:

Who do you think you got, Kelsey Clinton?

Russ says:

Then Jackie Chan kicked someone

Miss T says:

Do you have to be intelligent to get that?

Russ says:

Only if you consider Rush Hour to be fine European cinema

Russ says:

My daddy once caughted a bullet...catched a bullet with his bare hands

BRM says:

did it hurt?

Miss T says:

Whats your favourite thing about TWO?

Miss T says:

Lets stop this china thing now!

BRM says:

the TWPO newsletter probe, thats well cool, can't wait for the next one

Russ says:

Jackie Chan is from Hong Kong and Chris Tucker is from America

BRM says:

*TWO

Mr Perfect says:

talking about wrestling

Mr Perfect says:

thats about it.....

Miss T says:

Be serious guys! Your ruining it Whats your favourite thing about TWO?

Mr Perfect says:

to be honest T there wasnt anything to ruin

Miss T says:

Get out!

Mr Perfect says:

haha you cant make me

BRM says:

Miss T is going to get fired!

Miss T says:

Does this suck?

Mr Perfect says:

yes

Russ says:

Yes

Russ says:

Get better people

BRM says:

yup

Miss T says:

Oh well, we'll carry on anyway

BRM says:

were hardly able to shoot from the hip though

BRM says:

sack christop

Miss T says:

Lets play a game... how about.. word association?

Mr Perfect says:

yeh ok

Russ says:

I prefer Jenga

Miss T says:

Right

Miss T says:

Lets go with...

Miss T says:

Cornwall

BRM says:

chavs

Mr Perfect says:

cornish pasty

Russ says:

I think it's an island near Wales

Miss T says:

Oh my god we dont have scabby chavs here!

BRM says:

pirates then

Mr Perfect says:

LMAO

Miss T says:

we have sexy surfers

BRM says:

now i know you have them

BRM says:

pirtaes that is

Mr Perfect says:

carry on with the words

Russ says:

I'm a sexy surfer. Of the INTERNET, BITCHES

Mr Perfect says:

your letting it slip!

Miss T says:

The Catholic Church

BRM says:

gilbert and sullivans pirates of penznace is cool

Russ says:

Roy Keane will disrupt Celtic's midfield balance

BRM says:

celebacy

Miss T says:

Can you stop telling me what to do! Im in charge!

Mr Perfect says:

confusing

BRM says:

i like catolics many of my friends are catholics.

Miss T says:

Death Penalty

Mr Perfect says:

stupid

BRM says:

boro 1 spurs 1

Russ says:

Wrath used it as a set up to The Meltdown in WCW, it was basically a standing Rock Bottom. It didn't look too bad, but no one bought it as a genuine finish.

Mr Perfect says:

Elix Skipper uses the death sentence, same thing right

Russ says:

I've never seen Skipper do a standing Rock Bottom

Mr Perfect says:

although Skipper's is a Emerald Fusion

BRM says:

please continue miss t

Miss T says:

... Cruelty to animals

Russ says:

He's used Sudden Death, which is a variation of the Emerald FROSION which is Nova's Kryptonite Krunch or CIMA's Schwein

Mr Perfect says:

i HATE cruetly to animals

Mr Perfect says:

makes me sick

Mr Perfect says:

animals have right aswell

Mr Perfect says:

rights*

BRM says:

i think we should feed people who are cruel to animals to the lions

Miss T says:

Are a vegitarian?

Russ says:

Animal deserves all of the cruelty he gets, everyone knows he's just there because he's Johnny Ace's brother

Mr Perfect says:

im not a vegitarian

BRM says:

vegetarians smell funny

Mr Perfect says:

Vegans smell worse

Russ says:

Are we using "Vegetation" as a euphemism for gay?

Miss T says:

So, do you not think its cruel to eat animals?

Mr Perfect says:

nope

BRM says:

nope

BRM says:

i'm eating a pig as i type

Russ says:

Probably, but it tastes great

BRM says:

animals eat animals and i'm a mammal so it's all fair

Miss T says:

Yeah but you said animals have rights too

Mr Perfect says:

they do

Russ says:

Last time I ate a pig I was going down on Miss T while she had a sandwich

Mr Perfect says:

but when there dead what can they do about it

BRM says:

yeah if they had the chance they could eat me

Miss T says:

Thats sick Russ

Miss T says:

Perfect, you are such a hipocrit!

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig

Russ says:

I'd eat hippo too

Mr Perfect says:

you missed an e Miss T

Miss T says:

I was gonna edit it in

Russ says:

ZOMG CENSORSHIP

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

..Peperami

Mr Perfect says:

eeewwww

BRM says:

yucky

Russ says:

AC told me an interesting fact. Look at the pork content of a Peperami and you'll be surprised

Russ says:

I won't spoil it, but it's interesting

Miss T says:

Thats quite alot of pork

Miss T says:

97%

Russ says:

No.

BRM says:

32%?

Russ says:

No.

Miss T says:

its 97%

Russ says:

Fine, I'll spoil it

Russ says:

108% pork.

Russ says:

If you don't believe me, check the wrapper

BRM says:

thats impressive

Miss T says:

Maybe Scottish people have dumb peperami makers

Russ says:

AC is Scottish then?

Miss T says:

Mine says 97%

Miss T says:

Is he?

Russ says:

AC told me it

BRM says:

they prefer square sausage north of the border

Russ says:

I checked it

Russ says:

My mind...BLOWN

Russ says:

I'm more partial to links myself, but I know a lot of people who eat square

Miss T says:

Whats everyones favourite food?

Mr Perfect says:

anytihng expect prunes

BRM says:

KFC

Russ says:

Sushi. It makes me feel like a yuppy.

Mr Perfect says:

anything*

Miss T says:

Eugh, Sushi is gross

Miss T says:

Wannabees eat it

Russ says:

Sushi is great and an excellent way to get laid

BRM says:

they have a nice sushi bar in the trafford center

Russ says:

"Hey, I'm taking you out for sushi" says "I'm adventurous, sophisticated and rich"

Russ says:

It also says I have fishbreath

Miss T says:

"hey, im a wannabee"

Mr Perfect says:

brb the fridge is calling me

Miss T says:

Whats your favourite...........

BRM says:

perfect has a fancy fridge

Miss T says:

Movie

Mr Perfect says:

back, my fridge rules, it gives me ice cudes

Mr Perfect says:

...

Mr Perfect says:

Snatch

Russ says:

Dr Horny And The Naughty Nurses, brilliantly parodied by Vince McMahon as Dr Heiny

Mr Perfect says:

Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrells & Mean Machine

Miss T says:

And layer cake?

Russ says:

No, it doesn't have Vinnie

Russ says:

Gay for Vinnie and Mr Perfect. What a guy.

BRM says:

I really like batman Begins, but my favorite ever film is honest with all saints

Russ says:

AND Brian Conelly

Russ says:

It's a puppeeeeeet

Mr Perfectsays:

russ that is SO not funny

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig

Mr Perfect says:

yeh whatever russ

Miss T says:

Forums are broke I think

Russ says:

BIG CRAIG

Mr Perfect says:

RUSS

BRM says:

busted

Russ says:

I'll try and fix them

BRM says:

noticed a few glitches this morning

Miss T says:

Whats the most expensive thing you ever bought

BRM says:

html code showing and othe lil bits

Mr Perfect says:

yeh i clicked "new posts" and the forum appeared with no skin

Mr Perfect says:

like a Zombie forum...

BRM says:

my ferrari

Russ says:

An engagement ring

Miss T says:

 

Miss T says:

You were engaged?

Russ says:

No

BRM says:

who the prett girly Big Craig?

Russ says:

I bought it for my Action Man to wear as a crown

Mr Perfect says:

my dads Brithday Present

Miss T says:

What was that?

Mr Perfect says:

a necklace, ring & a watch

Russ says:

lol why dont u marry him

Miss T says:

Is that all?

Mr Perfect says:

because he's my dad...

BRM says:

what are the chances of christop being pissed off wehn he read this?

Mr Perfect says:

yes thats all but it cost alot

Russ says:

Christop In The Name Of Love

Russ says:

Wooooah woah woah

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Lets make this intelligent

Russ says:

HAHA

Miss T says:

Um..

Miss T says:

I think we'll stop it here

Miss T says:

Thanks for taking part guys, any final words?

BRM says:

ahhh

Mr Perfect says:

finally

 

Mr Perfect left the conversation.

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It's funny how sometimes the outtakes can be more entertaining than the crappy movie you just saw. So, I give to you...newsletterfaggotry.doc

 

Miss T says:

Threesome

Mr Perfect says:

threesome with big craig and Miss T. *shudders*

Miss T says:

Ew. Its not Big Craig! Its little craig. Anyway No being funny, we havent started

Russ says:

hey guyz big craig here i wanna play da newsletter dudez lol

BRM says:

i like your hat

Russ says:

lol thnx

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Everyone else is ignoring me

BRM says:

puffs

Miss T says:

Shall I change my font so you can read it?

Mr Perfect says:

yes

BRM says:

yes!

Russ says:

no

Miss T says:

I love it!

Miss T says:

oooh I like this one

BRM says:

thats better and more elegant

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Im common

Miss T says:

Like ****i

Miss T says:

right

Miss T says:

Screw everyone else

Miss T says:

we're only having three

BRM says:

4 including you

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Right

Russ says:

I can't read this on my laptop

Miss T says:

Ready?

BRM says:

as ever

Mr Perfect says:

shall i ask Marcus?

Russ says:

Hang on. I need to get dressed

Miss T says:

Three is fine

Mr Perfect says:

k

Miss T says:

Okay welcome to Shooting From The Jip

Miss T says:

Hip*

Mr Perfect says:

jip haha

Russ says:

Shooting Gypsies?

Russ says:

I love it already

Miss T says:

Theres only one rule, no shooting

BRM says:

shame

Russ says:

On gypsies

Mr Perfect says:

*puts gun away*

BRM says:

they took my land

Russ says:

Steal their Calor Gas tanks

BRM says:

blow them up more like

Russ says:

That's gypsie murder

Mr Perfect says:

killing gypsy's isnt murder

BRM says:

your point being?

Mr Perfect says:

it legal

Mr Perfect says:

well, it is to me

Miss T says:

Ive lost the file with all the questions in it!

Russ says:

Let's just discuss gypsies instead

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Will have to do it off the top of my head

BRM says:

they should wash there caravans more often

Miss T says:

Right, so... who are you all and why do we know you at TWO?

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig, I'm always in the chatroom, I think I'm up for a TWOsies and I have a hat.

BRM says:

I'm Ssur my only friend is Russ and i'm a big puff.

Mr Perfect says:

I'm Mr Perfect, i used to be in the chatroom all the time but the forums is just as good so i dont venture into the chatroom anymore unless i have to. yep, that's it

Miss T says:

This is going to be a nightmare

Russ says:

Hey Russ, there's a cycling competition going on in the wooded area across the motorway from your flat, and some arse with a megaphone is shouting stuff and annoying me

Russ says:

I mean you

Mr Perfect says:

who said it would be easy

Russ says:

Whatever

Miss T says:

Im confused

Mr Perfect says:

as always

Miss T says:

Christof is on my back about the deadline

BRM says:

shall we start again?

Russ says:

Christof is on your back. TWO SEX SCANDAL

Miss T says:

No, the show must go on.

BRM says:

had a few of those recently

Russ says:

Shows or sex scandals?

BRM says:

both i guess

Russ says:

I'd pay to see a Sex Scandal Show

Russ says:

Bill Clinton could do cabaret with David Blunket

BRM says:

check out TWOstars next month

Mr Perfect says:

ok now im confused

Russ says:

I recommend putting a little bit of olive oil over your pizza before putting it in the oven, it comes out crispier and full of flavour!

Mr Perfect says:

 

BRM says:

i often find i have problems with the base becoming rather soggy

Miss T says:

Who are your favourite posters and Why?

Mr Perfect says:

Wyndorf, he's funny as f***

Russ says:

I have a Pulp Fiction poster with Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta in black and white. It's stuck up by bluetack.

Miss T says:

No, seriously

Miss T says:

Is it me?

 

Mr Perfect says:

you, lol good joke

Mr Perfect says:

oh your serious....

BRM says:

i don't have a favorite poster.

Miss T says:

What do you all do in the “Real World”, You got a job, a social life?

Russ says:

You don't want to put on too much olive oil though, or it all runs to the middle and makes your pizza greasy

Russ says:

I live on my W101 salary and I play old TWO Radio episodes and pretend Colin, Draven, Simon and Chris are talking to me.

BRM says:

yes i have a job, but it's boring so i won't bore you with it. My social life is rather funky though but as of late it has seen me being escorted off certain premises

Miss T says:

I hate trouble makers

Mr Perfect says:

i work with my dad (he's a fireman & a caretaker at my old school) i help him with stuff at the school like building things, i have a gf called Kelsey and i go out with my buddies whenever we all have free time.

Russ says:

In agriculture, olive oil is an oil extracted from the fruit of the European olive tree (Olea europaea L.), which originated in the Mediterranean area.

Miss T says:

Kelsey?

Mr Perfect says:

yes...Kelsey

Mr Perfect says:

kel...sey

Russ says:

Who do you think you got, Kelsey Clinton?

Russ says:

Then Jackie Chan kicked someone

Miss T says:

Do you have to be intelligent to get that?

Russ says:

Only if you consider Rush Hour to be fine European cinema

Russ says:

My daddy once caughted a bullet...catched a bullet with his bare hands

BRM says:

did it hurt?

Miss T says:

Whats your favourite thing about TWO?

Miss T says:

Lets stop this china thing now!

BRM says:

the TWPO newsletter probe, thats well cool, can't wait for the next one

Russ says:

Jackie Chan is from Hong Kong and Chris Tucker is from America

BRM says:

*TWO

Mr Perfect says:

talking about wrestling

Mr Perfect says:

thats about it.....

Miss T says:

Be serious guys! Your ruining it Whats your favourite thing about TWO?

Mr Perfect says:

to be honest T there wasnt anything to ruin

Miss T says:

Get out!

Mr Perfect says:

haha you cant make me

BRM says:

Miss T is going to get fired!

Miss T says:

Does this suck?

Mr Perfect says:

yes

Russ says:

Yes

Russ says:

Get better people

BRM says:

yup

Miss T says:

Oh well, we'll carry on anyway

BRM says:

were hardly able to shoot from the hip though

BRM says:

sack christop

Miss T says:

Lets play a game... how about.. word association?

Mr Perfect says:

yeh ok

Russ says:

I prefer Jenga

Miss T says:

Right

Miss T says:

Lets go with...

Miss T says:

Cornwall

BRM says:

chavs

Mr Perfect says:

cornish pasty

Russ says:

I think it's an island near Wales

Miss T says:

Oh my god we dont have scabby chavs here!

BRM says:

pirates then

Mr Perfect says:

LMAO

Miss T says:

we have sexy surfers

BRM says:

now i know you have them

BRM says:

pirtaes that is

Mr Perfect says:

carry on with the words

Russ says:

I'm a sexy surfer. Of the INTERNET, BITCHES

Mr Perfect says:

your letting it slip!

Miss T says:

The Catholic Church

BRM says:

gilbert and sullivans pirates of penznace is cool

Russ says:

Roy Keane will disrupt Celtic's midfield balance

BRM says:

celebacy

Miss T says:

Can you stop telling me what to do! Im in charge!

Mr Perfect says:

confusing

BRM says:

i like catolics many of my friends are catholics.

Miss T says:

Death Penalty

Mr Perfect says:

stupid

BRM says:

boro 1 spurs 1

Russ says:

Wrath used it as a set up to The Meltdown in WCW, it was basically a standing Rock Bottom. It didn't look too bad, but no one bought it as a genuine finish.

Mr Perfect says:

Elix Skipper uses the death sentence, same thing right

Russ says:

I've never seen Skipper do a standing Rock Bottom

Mr Perfect says:

although Skipper's is a Emerald Fusion

BRM says:

please continue miss t

Miss T says:

... Cruelty to animals

Russ says:

He's used Sudden Death, which is a variation of the Emerald FROSION which is Nova's Kryptonite Krunch or CIMA's Schwein

Mr Perfect says:

i HATE cruetly to animals

Mr Perfect says:

makes me sick

Mr Perfect says:

animals have right aswell

Mr Perfect says:

rights*

BRM says:

i think we should feed people who are cruel to animals to the lions

Miss T says:

Are a vegitarian?

Russ says:

Animal deserves all of the cruelty he gets, everyone knows he's just there because he's Johnny Ace's brother

Mr Perfect says:

im not a vegitarian

BRM says:

vegetarians smell funny

Mr Perfect says:

Vegans smell worse

Russ says:

Are we using "Vegetation" as a euphemism for gay?

Miss T says:

So, do you not think its cruel to eat animals?

Mr Perfect says:

nope

BRM says:

nope

BRM says:

i'm eating a pig as i type

Russ says:

Probably, but it tastes great

BRM says:

animals eat animals and i'm a mammal so it's all fair

Miss T says:

Yeah but you said animals have rights too

Mr Perfect says:

they do

Russ says:

Last time I ate a pig I was going down on Miss T while she had a sandwich

Mr Perfect says:

but when there dead what can they do about it

BRM says:

yeah if they had the chance they could eat me

Miss T says:

Thats sick Russ

Miss T says:

Perfect, you are such a hipocrit!

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig

Russ says:

I'd eat hippo too

Mr Perfect says:

you missed an e Miss T

Miss T says:

I was gonna edit it in

Russ says:

ZOMG CENSORSHIP

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

..Peperami

Mr Perfect says:

eeewwww

BRM says:

yucky

Russ says:

AC told me an interesting fact. Look at the pork content of a Peperami and you'll be surprised

Russ says:

I won't spoil it, but it's interesting

Miss T says:

Thats quite alot of pork

Miss T says:

97%

Russ says:

No.

BRM says:

32%?

Russ says:

No.

Miss T says:

its 97%

Russ says:

Fine, I'll spoil it

Russ says:

108% pork.

Russ says:

If you don't believe me, check the wrapper

BRM says:

thats impressive

Miss T says:

Maybe Scottish people have dumb peperami makers

Russ says:

AC is Scottish then?

Miss T says:

Mine says 97%

Miss T says:

Is he?

Russ says:

AC told me it

BRM says:

they prefer square sausage north of the border

Russ says:

I checked it

Russ says:

My mind...BLOWN

Russ says:

I'm more partial to links myself, but I know a lot of people who eat square

Miss T says:

Whats everyones favourite food?

Mr Perfect says:

anytihng expect prunes

BRM says:

KFC

Russ says:

Sushi. It makes me feel like a yuppy.

Mr Perfect says:

anything*

Miss T says:

Eugh, Sushi is gross

Miss T says:

Wannabees eat it

Russ says:

Sushi is great and an excellent way to get laid

BRM says:

they have a nice sushi bar in the trafford center

Russ says:

"Hey, I'm taking you out for sushi" says "I'm adventurous, sophisticated and rich"

Russ says:

It also says I have fishbreath

Miss T says:

"hey, im a wannabee"

Mr Perfect says:

brb the fridge is calling me

Miss T says:

Whats your favourite...........

BRM says:

perfect has a fancy fridge

Miss T says:

Movie

Mr Perfect says:

back, my fridge rules, it gives me ice cudes

Mr Perfect says:

...

Mr Perfect says:

Snatch

Russ says:

Dr Horny And The Naughty Nurses, brilliantly parodied by Vince McMahon as Dr Heiny

Mr Perfect says:

Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrells & Mean Machine

Miss T says:

And layer cake?

Russ says:

No, it doesn't have Vinnie

Russ says:

Gay for Vinnie and Mr Perfect. What a guy.

BRM says:

I really like batman Begins, but my favorite ever film is honest with all saints

Russ says:

AND Brian Conelly

Russ says:

It's a puppeeeeeet

Mr Perfectsays:

russ that is SO not funny

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig

Mr Perfect says:

yeh whatever russ

Miss T says:

Forums are broke I think

Russ says:

BIG CRAIG

Mr Perfect says:

RUSS

BRM says:

busted

Russ says:

I'll try and fix them

BRM says:

noticed a few glitches this morning

Miss T says:

Whats the most expensive thing you ever bought

BRM says:

html code showing and othe lil bits

Mr Perfect says:

yeh i clicked "new posts" and the forum appeared with no skin

Mr Perfect says:

like a Zombie forum...

BRM says:

my ferrari

Russ says:

An engagement ring

Miss T says:

 

Miss T says:

You were engaged?

Russ says:

No

BRM says:

who the prett girly Big Craig?

Russ says:

I bought it for my Action Man to wear as a crown

Mr Perfect says:

my dads Brithday Present

Miss T says:

What was that?

Mr Perfect says:

a necklace, ring & a watch

Russ says:

lol why dont u marry him

Miss T says:

Is that all?

Mr Perfect says:

because he's my dad...

BRM says:

what are the chances of christop being pissed off wehn he read this?

Mr Perfect says:

yes thats all but it cost alot

Russ says:

Christop In The Name Of Love

Russ says:

Wooooah woah woah

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Lets make this intelligent

Russ says:

HAHA

Miss T says:

Um..

Miss T says:

I think we'll stop it here

Miss T says:

Thanks for taking part guys, any final words?

BRM says:

ahhh

Mr Perfect says:

finally

 

Mr Perfect left the conversation.

That... was genius :D

 

 

Miss T says:

Okay welcome to Shooting From The Jip

Miss T says:

Hip*

 

LMAO :P

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It's funny how sometimes the outtakes can be more entertaining than the crappy movie you just saw. So, I give to you...newsletterfaggotry.doc

 

Miss T says:

Threesome

Mr Perfect says:

threesome with big craig and Miss T. *shudders*

Miss T says:

Ew. Its not Big Craig! Its little craig. Anyway No being funny, we havent started

Russ says:

hey guyz big craig here i wanna play da newsletter dudez lol

BRM says:

i like your hat

Russ says:

lol thnx

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Everyone else is ignoring me

BRM says:

puffs

Miss T says:

Shall I change my font so you can read it?

Mr Perfect says:

yes

BRM says:

yes!

Russ says:

no

Miss T says:

I love it!

Miss T says:

oooh I like this one

BRM says:

thats better and more elegant

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Im common

Miss T says:

Like ****i

Miss T says:

right

Miss T says:

Screw everyone else

Miss T says:

we're only having three

BRM says:

4 including you

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Right

Russ says:

I can't read this on my laptop

Miss T says:

Ready?

BRM says:

as ever

Mr Perfect says:

shall i ask Marcus?

Russ says:

Hang on. I need to get dressed

Miss T says:

Three is fine

Mr Perfect says:

k

Miss T says:

Okay welcome to Shooting From The Jip

Miss T says:

Hip*

Mr Perfect says:

jip haha

Russ says:

Shooting Gypsies?

Russ says:

I love it already

Miss T says:

Theres only one rule, no shooting

BRM says:

shame

Russ says:

On gypsies

Mr Perfect says:

*puts gun away*

BRM says:

they took my land

Russ says:

Steal their Calor Gas tanks

BRM says:

blow them up more like

Russ says:

That's gypsie murder

Mr Perfect says:

killing gypsy's isnt murder

BRM says:

your point being?

Mr Perfect says:

it legal

Mr Perfect says:

well, it is to me

Miss T says:

Ive lost the file with all the questions in it!

Russ says:

Let's just discuss gypsies instead

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Will have to do it off the top of my head

BRM says:

they should wash there caravans more often

Miss T says:

Right, so... who are you all and why do we know you at TWO?

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig, I'm always in the chatroom, I think I'm up for a TWOsies and I have a hat.

BRM says:

I'm Ssur my only friend is Russ and i'm a big puff.

Mr Perfect says:

I'm Mr Perfect, i used to be in the chatroom all the time but the forums is just as good so i dont venture into the chatroom anymore unless i have to. yep, that's it

Miss T says:

This is going to be a nightmare

Russ says:

Hey Russ, there's a cycling competition going on in the wooded area across the motorway from your flat, and some arse with a megaphone is shouting stuff and annoying me

Russ says:

I mean you

Mr Perfect says:

who said it would be easy

Russ says:

Whatever

Miss T says:

Im confused

Mr Perfect says:

as always

Miss T says:

Christof is on my back about the deadline

BRM says:

shall we start again?

Russ says:

Christof is on your back. TWO SEX SCANDAL

Miss T says:

No, the show must go on.

BRM says:

had a few of those recently

Russ says:

Shows or sex scandals?

BRM says:

both i guess

Russ says:

I'd pay to see a Sex Scandal Show

Russ says:

Bill Clinton could do cabaret with David Blunket

BRM says:

check out TWOstars next month

Mr Perfect says:

ok now im confused

Russ says:

I recommend putting a little bit of olive oil over your pizza before putting it in the oven, it comes out crispier and full of flavour!

Mr Perfect says:

 

BRM says:

i often find i have problems with the base becoming rather soggy

Miss T says:

Who are your favourite posters and Why?

Mr Perfect says:

Wyndorf, he's funny as f***

Russ says:

I have a Pulp Fiction poster with Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta in black and white. It's stuck up by bluetack.

Miss T says:

No, seriously

Miss T says:

Is it me?

 

Mr Perfect says:

you, lol good joke

Mr Perfect says:

oh your serious....

BRM says:

i don't have a favorite poster.

Miss T says:

What do you all do in the “Real World”, You got a job, a social life?

Russ says:

You don't want to put on too much olive oil though, or it all runs to the middle and makes your pizza greasy

Russ says:

I live on my W101 salary and I play old TWO Radio episodes and pretend Colin, Draven, Simon and Chris are talking to me.

BRM says:

yes i have a job, but it's boring so i won't bore you with it. My social life is rather funky though but as of late it has seen me being escorted off certain premises

Miss T says:

I hate trouble makers

Mr Perfect says:

i work with my dad (he's a fireman & a caretaker at my old school) i help him with stuff at the school like building things, i have a gf called Kelsey and i go out with my buddies whenever we all have free time.

Russ says:

In agriculture, olive oil is an oil extracted from the fruit of the European olive tree (Olea europaea L.), which originated in the Mediterranean area.

Miss T says:

Kelsey?

Mr Perfect says:

yes...Kelsey

Mr Perfect says:

kel...sey

Russ says:

Who do you think you got, Kelsey Clinton?

Russ says:

Then Jackie Chan kicked someone

Miss T says:

Do you have to be intelligent to get that?

Russ says:

Only if you consider Rush Hour to be fine European cinema

Russ says:

My daddy once caughted a bullet...catched a bullet with his bare hands

BRM says:

did it hurt?

Miss T says:

Whats your favourite thing about TWO?

Miss T says:

Lets stop this china thing now!

BRM says:

the TWPO newsletter probe, thats well cool, can't wait for the next one

Russ says:

Jackie Chan is from Hong Kong and Chris Tucker is from America

BRM says:

*TWO

Mr Perfect says:

talking about wrestling

Mr Perfect says:

thats about it.....

Miss T says:

Be serious guys! Your ruining it Whats your favourite thing about TWO?

Mr Perfect says:

to be honest T there wasnt anything to ruin

Miss T says:

Get out!

Mr Perfect says:

haha you cant make me

BRM says:

Miss T is going to get fired!

Miss T says:

Does this suck?

Mr Perfect says:

yes

Russ says:

Yes

Russ says:

Get better people

BRM says:

yup

Miss T says:

Oh well, we'll carry on anyway

BRM says:

were hardly able to shoot from the hip though

BRM says:

sack christop

Miss T says:

Lets play a game... how about.. word association?

Mr Perfect says:

yeh ok

Russ says:

I prefer Jenga

Miss T says:

Right

Miss T says:

Lets go with...

Miss T says:

Cornwall

BRM says:

chavs

Mr Perfect says:

cornish pasty

Russ says:

I think it's an island near Wales

Miss T says:

Oh my god we dont have scabby chavs here!

BRM says:

pirates then

Mr Perfect says:

LMAO

Miss T says:

we have sexy surfers

BRM says:

now i know you have them

BRM says:

pirtaes that is

Mr Perfect says:

carry on with the words

Russ says:

I'm a sexy surfer. Of the INTERNET, BITCHES

Mr Perfect says:

your letting it slip!

Miss T says:

The Catholic Church

BRM says:

gilbert and sullivans pirates of penznace is cool

Russ says:

Roy Keane will disrupt Celtic's midfield balance

BRM says:

celebacy

Miss T says:

Can you stop telling me what to do! Im in charge!

Mr Perfect says:

confusing

BRM says:

i like catolics many of my friends are catholics.

Miss T says:

Death Penalty

Mr Perfect says:

stupid

BRM says:

boro 1 spurs 1

Russ says:

Wrath used it as a set up to The Meltdown in WCW, it was basically a standing Rock Bottom. It didn't look too bad, but no one bought it as a genuine finish.

Mr Perfect says:

Elix Skipper uses the death sentence, same thing right

Russ says:

I've never seen Skipper do a standing Rock Bottom

Mr Perfect says:

although Skipper's is a Emerald Fusion

BRM says:

please continue miss t

Miss T says:

... Cruelty to animals

Russ says:

He's used Sudden Death, which is a variation of the Emerald FROSION which is Nova's Kryptonite Krunch or CIMA's Schwein

Mr Perfect says:

i HATE cruetly to animals

Mr Perfect says:

makes me sick

Mr Perfect says:

animals have right aswell

Mr Perfect says:

rights*

BRM says:

i think we should feed people who are cruel to animals to the lions

Miss T says:

Are a vegitarian?

Russ says:

Animal deserves all of the cruelty he gets, everyone knows he's just there because he's Johnny Ace's brother

Mr Perfect says:

im not a vegitarian

BRM says:

vegetarians smell funny

Mr Perfect says:

Vegans smell worse

Russ says:

Are we using "Vegetation" as a euphemism for gay?

Miss T says:

So, do you not think its cruel to eat animals?

Mr Perfect says:

nope

BRM says:

nope

BRM says:

i'm eating a pig as i type

Russ says:

Probably, but it tastes great

BRM says:

animals eat animals and i'm a mammal so it's all fair

Miss T says:

Yeah but you said animals have rights too

Mr Perfect says:

they do

Russ says:

Last time I ate a pig I was going down on Miss T while she had a sandwich

Mr Perfect says:

but when there dead what can they do about it

BRM says:

yeah if they had the chance they could eat me

Miss T says:

Thats sick Russ

Miss T says:

Perfect, you are such a hipocrit!

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig

Russ says:

I'd eat hippo too

Mr Perfect says:

you missed an e Miss T

Miss T says:

I was gonna edit it in

Russ says:

ZOMG CENSORSHIP

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

..Peperami

Mr Perfect says:

eeewwww

BRM says:

yucky

Russ says:

AC told me an interesting fact. Look at the pork content of a Peperami and you'll be surprised

Russ says:

I won't spoil it, but it's interesting

Miss T says:

Thats quite alot of pork

Miss T says:

97%

Russ says:

No.

BRM says:

32%?

Russ says:

No.

Miss T says:

its 97%

Russ says:

Fine, I'll spoil it

Russ says:

108% pork.

Russ says:

If you don't believe me, check the wrapper

BRM says:

thats impressive

Miss T says:

Maybe Scottish people have dumb peperami makers

Russ says:

AC is Scottish then?

Miss T says:

Mine says 97%

Miss T says:

Is he?

Russ says:

AC told me it

BRM says:

they prefer square sausage north of the border

Russ says:

I checked it

Russ says:

My mind...BLOWN

Russ says:

I'm more partial to links myself, but I know a lot of people who eat square

Miss T says:

Whats everyones favourite food?

Mr Perfect says:

anytihng expect prunes

BRM says:

KFC

Russ says:

Sushi. It makes me feel like a yuppy.

Mr Perfect says:

anything*

Miss T says:

Eugh, Sushi is gross

Miss T says:

Wannabees eat it

Russ says:

Sushi is great and an excellent way to get laid

BRM says:

they have a nice sushi bar in the trafford center

Russ says:

"Hey, I'm taking you out for sushi" says "I'm adventurous, sophisticated and rich"

Russ says:

It also says I have fishbreath

Miss T says:

"hey, im a wannabee"

Mr Perfect says:

brb the fridge is calling me

Miss T says:

Whats your favourite...........

BRM says:

perfect has a fancy fridge

Miss T says:

Movie

Mr Perfect says:

back, my fridge rules, it gives me ice cudes

Mr Perfect says:

...

Mr Perfect says:

Snatch

Russ says:

Dr Horny And The Naughty Nurses, brilliantly parodied by Vince McMahon as Dr Heiny

Mr Perfect says:

Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrells & Mean Machine

Miss T says:

And layer cake?

Russ says:

No, it doesn't have Vinnie

Russ says:

Gay for Vinnie and Mr Perfect. What a guy.

BRM says:

I really like batman Begins, but my favorite ever film is honest with all saints

Russ says:

AND Brian Conelly

Russ says:

It's a puppeeeeeet

Mr Perfectsays:

russ that is SO not funny

Russ says:

I'm Big Craig

Mr Perfect says:

yeh whatever russ

Miss T says:

Forums are broke I think

Russ says:

BIG CRAIG

Mr Perfect says:

RUSS

BRM says:

busted

Russ says:

I'll try and fix them

BRM says:

noticed a few glitches this morning

Miss T says:

Whats the most expensive thing you ever bought

BRM says:

html code showing and othe lil bits

Mr Perfect says:

yeh i clicked "new posts" and the forum appeared with no skin

Mr Perfect says:

like a Zombie forum...

BRM says:

my ferrari

Russ says:

An engagement ring

Miss T says:

 

Miss T says:

You were engaged?

Russ says:

No

BRM says:

who the prett girly Big Craig?

Russ says:

I bought it for my Action Man to wear as a crown

Mr Perfect says:

my dads Brithday Present

Miss T says:

What was that?

Mr Perfect says:

a necklace, ring & a watch

Russ says:

lol why dont u marry him

Miss T says:

Is that all?

Mr Perfect says:

because he's my dad...

BRM says:

what are the chances of christop being pissed off wehn he read this?

Mr Perfect says:

yes thats all but it cost alot

Russ says:

Christop In The Name Of Love

Russ says:

Wooooah woah woah

Miss T says:

Okay

Miss T says:

Lets make this intelligent

Russ says:

HAHA

Miss T says:

Um..

Miss T says:

I think we'll stop it here

Miss T says:

Thanks for taking part guys, any final words?

BRM says:

ahhh

Mr Perfect says:

finally

 

Mr Perfect left the conversation.

 

 

Oh god, that is the best thing I've ever read, ever.

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BRM says:

he's such a puff

 

Russ says:

Hilary won't beat Arnie

 

Miss T says:

Okay

 

Miss T says:

I'll be back in five minutes

 

Miss T says:

Start organising Russ

 

Russ says:

Hey Chris! You're better than Mr Perfect! Join us!

 

BRM says:

Arnie need constitution changing first

 

Chris: says:

well I know that

 

Russsays:

Arnie can change the constitution via EXPLOSIONS

 

BRM says:

will jesse stand in the prelimanrys?

 

Russ says:

I dunno, he said he wants to move away from the US to the Carribean

 

Russ says:

Or he's done so already

 

Russ says:

EIther way, doesn't sound like he's preparing for a White House run

 

BRM says:

imagine Jesse as president with Hogan as his vice president. That would scare the poo poo out of bin laden

 

Chris says:

but he said a wrestler would be in the white house!

 

Russ says:

Feather Boas > WMDs

 

Russ says:

Maybe Vince will run

 

Russ says:

We all saw the sticker at Summerslam

 

Chris:. says:

or Shane

 

Russ says:

Shane would show up for one week of canvassing then disapear without mention for the rest of the time period

 

Chris: says:

or Stephanie

 

BRM says:

maybe Helmsley is going a year without the strap, so he knows how it feels for when he's in the white house

 

Chris: says:

is TWO not working?

 

BRM says:

it's busted

 

Russ says:

TWO is dead, it died of shame when Mr Perfect started trying to tell us how "cool" he was by having a girlfriend and buddies and coolness and hijinx

 

Chris: says:

i have buddies and coolness and hijinx

 

Russ says:

But you don't worship dead people, Vinnie Jones or buy your dad a girly present

 

Russ says:

L.A. Park vs Ultimo Guerrero 9/17/04

 

Russ says:

Hell yes, I'm all over that

 

Russ says:

I hope this shot at SHOOTING contains more gypsie jokes

 

Russ says:

It was the one saving point of the crapfest before

 

BRM says:

it was in indeed

 

BRM says:

must be bad for gypos this time of year

 

Russ says:

TWO is back

 

Russ says:

Not really, they can comb their hair and use the remains on the brush to baste their turkey

 

BRM says:

what do they cook there turkey in?

 

Chris: . says:

what am I actually doing here?

 

Russ says:

About 10 of them hold their lighters over the meat for a while

 

BRM says:

waiting

 

Russ says:

Newsletter shoot orgy

 

Russ says:

With No Mr Perfect

 

Russ says:

That's a selling point in itself

 

BRM says:

cos he's a puff

 

Chris: says:

wow, I did wonder what Shooting from the Hip meant

 

Chris: . says:

i guess that's the orgy

 

Russ says:

No holes barred

 

BRM says:

were trying to get miss t fired in the process

 

Russ says:

She did a good job. Considering I was making jokes about cunnilingus and Mr Perfect was talking crap.

 

BRM says:

i was good though, yeah right

 

Chris: says:

so we're doing another one with me instead of Mr Pefect?

 

Russ says:

Yes.

 

BRM says:

yup

 

Chris: says:

right.

 

BRM says:

but shes gone for a wazz

 

Russ says:

Did you pick up on the audio I sent last time?

BRM says:

i did

 

BRM says:

worst newsletter ever

Russ says:

Good. Because I can keep taking shots at people via recordings and it won't make it into the newsletter

 

BRM says:

thats not very nice

 

Russ plays audio

 

 

BRM says:

but the other one won't get published making this the worst one ever

 

Russ plays audio

 

 

BRM says:

better

 

Chris: . says:

so, turkeys

 

BRM says:

do they have turkey for christmas dinner in turkey?

 

Russ plays more audio (carlito theme music)

 

Chris says:

no, they just hit each other

 

Russ says:

One cool phonecall

 

BRM says:

thanks for that

 

BRM says:

brought a little sunshine into a drab sunday

 

Russ says:

All I'm doing is playing with my phone waiting for her to wipe, wash and pull up her pants

 

BRM says:

are you not supposed to be coming up with some witty questions?

 

Russ says:

I can do it off the top of my head. I'm smrat.

BRM says:

so Hondas power of dreams advert. Thoughts?

 

Russ says:

The one with the guy using the different modes of transport?

 

Chris says:

makes me question whether Honda's cars are made my hippies

 

BRM says:

that one

 

Russ says:

I prefer it to the song "Hate Something..." because annoying people can't whistle along with it.

 

BRM says:

yes that is a hard song to whistle

 

BRM says:

maybe miss t is trying to whistle it whilst shes on the loo

Chris: says:

i think she's installing a plumbing system first

 

Russ says:

I dunno, maybe she saw the results of the first attempt and tried to hang herself

 

BRM says:

it was pretty dire

 

Chris: says:

i can carry people

 

BRM says:

i'm going to publish it

 

Russ says:

·$2 Mr Perfect ·$4~ And Now Your Gonna See....a Perfect-Plex ~ ·$2 Curt Hennig, Minnesota's Finnest says:

i work with my dad (he's a fireman & a caretaker at my old school) i help him with stuff at the school like building things, i have a gf called Kelsey and i go out with my buddies whenever we all have free time.

 

Russ says:

Wow thats so interesting

 

BRM says:

buts he's always online

 

Russ says:

No one on the internet REALLY has a girlfriend

 

BRM says:

i sure don't

 

Russ says:

Nor I

Chris: says:

he sounds like an extra from the movie "Grease"

 

Russ says:

He'd need to burst into spontaneous dance and know all of the moves of the lead character, mimicking them exactly in time

 

Chris: says:

you saying he doesn't?

 

BRM says:

he can't dance, he's online all the time

 

Russ says:

It's hard to do when you're a fireman. The hose might get loose.

 

Chris. says:

talking of dancing

 

Chris: . says:

Darren Gough rules

 

Russ says:

okay

 

BRM says:

sounds as if representing his country in pakistan to go on a tin pot dance show was the correct descion

 

Russ says:

He's no Stacy Keibler

 

Russ says:

She's bound to win, she's obscure enough and trained in dancing from her cheerleading days.

 

Chris: Goughie Is A Legend. says:

he did have a "knee injury"

 

BRM says:

a knee injury that enabled him to dance like he's never danced before

 

Chris: says:

indeeeeed

 

BRM says:

typical work shy yorkshireman

 

Russ says:

Wait a second. Maybe this is the SHOOTING format. She pretends to be "away" and observes

Russ says:

This is what is going to be used in the newsletter

BRM says:

thats a clever idea

 

BRM says:

just shouve 3 blokes in a room and observe

 

Russ says:

I'd like to give a shout out to my friends if you guys are reading

 

Russ says:

No, wait, that's AV

 

Russ says:

I made an AV joke on TWO Radio. No one would get it

BRM says:

av fancied me

 

BRM says:

said i was cute as....

 

Chris: says:

Dylan?

 

BRM says:

but then again she did belong in a nuthouse

 

Russ says:

Of all the people to lie about training you, Crash Holly is about 3rd bottom on the list just ahead of Ahmed Johnson and Jackie Gayda

 

Russ says:

Maybe that's what made it so believable

 

Miss T says:

Im here!

 

BRM says:

Great

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i got screwed, screwed i tell ya, I was the only one that made THAT shoot from the Hip thing READABLE and what do i get for it, i get taken out of it and it gets re-done without me KNOWING! THEN i get the piss taken out of me for wanting to contribute something to the newsletter!, well thanks alot guys! Edited by Ryan
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i got screwed' date=' screwed i tell ya, [b']I[/b] was the only one that made THAT shoot from the Hip thing READABLE and what do i get for it, i get taken out of it and it gets re-done without me KNOWING! THEN i get the piss taken out of me for wanting to contribute something to the newsletter!, well thanks alot guys!

 

 

Who is more diluted now? Ultimate Warrior, Sid, or this guy?

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I knew that would upset you.

 

you damn right! ya know i wouldnt be so annoyed if someone would of politely told me they were going to re do it with other people but NO, no one told me about it, and if that isnt enough i get the piss taken out of me in the new one, i got asked by Miss T to do it and i said sure i'll do it, i didnt have to, i didnt have to spend 20 minutes talking to Miss T, Russ and BRM about random stuff then taken the piss out of.

Edited by Ryan
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you damn right! ya know i wouldnt be so annoyed if someone would of politely told me they were going to re do it with other people but NO' date=' no one told me about it, and if that isnt enough i get the piss taken out of me in the new one, i got asked by Miss T to do it and i said sure i'll do it, i didnt have to, i didnt have to spend 20 minutes talking to Miss T, Russ and BRM about random stuff then taken the piss out of.[/quote']

 

Be funnier next time.

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might want to try that yourself Russ. It would have helped if Miss T kept a bit of a tighter reign on things too... and had not lost the questions.

 

I intend to do my bit to aid the last one by marrying Lucy Liu :D

 

Moving into more recent times the country's most popular food is the great British Curry... hold on, that’s actually an Indian dish there is also the large amount of people Immigrating to the country from outside bringing with them food and customs that we otherwise would never experience and provided they help the country I have no problems with people coming here to either find work or escape from oppressive regimes.

 

Glass houses. Stones. Throwing. Put it together.

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Anyone remember when Britain pretty much ruled the whole world? Including India?

 

The British army wouldn't eat any of the food in India because they feared they may get ill and as such food was imported from Britain.

 

However, due to the fact the only form of international transport at that time was a boat (and it could take over a week to get to India from Britain), the army was finding that their food was going off and becoming rotten.

 

During Britain's occupation of India they exported many things from the country, including herbs and spices.

 

The British Army used the herbs and spices on their food whilst it was in transport, to either prevent it from going off, or to deter from it's taste if it went rotten.

 

And as such, Curry was born.

 

Of course, I'm not presenting this as fact. :P

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