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What do you think about opposite-sex friends?


The Beltster
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If your g/f came home and told you she met a guy who she was going to meet for coffee and keep as a friend, or vice versa your b/f said he met a girl etc...what would your reaction be?

 

No, this hasnt happened to me, saw it as a situation a little while ago and was interested how people side on this...

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Erm It would be fine, providing a) she gave the same reaction if I was in the same situation with a female friend and b) she doesn't spend more time with him, than with you, or else you'd obviously start to wonder.

 

Tis a toughie though. Guess it depends how much you trust the missus.

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I actually sided with the girl in question. The guy she met was involved with a girl himself, and seemed like a nice enough bloke, it all seemed relatively innocent to be honest, but my g/f said she wouldnt be very happy if I met a girl and became mates with her, even though she trusts me. I said isnt that a little contradictory...she said no. LOL End of that then.
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My friends have a theory that you cannot ever just be friends with the opposite sex, there has to be a sexual element involved in it. I think differently and to be honest probably wouldnt mind if he went for coffee, im not the paranoid jealous type.
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Aah, it's the whole Ladder Theory thing isn't it? Can you see attractive members of the opposite sex as just friends?

 

Personally, I think the Ladder Theory does have some flaws and doesn't apply for every situation, but there's a lot of truth to it. For a guy, if you don't make it clear that you are interested in something more than a friendship with a girl, leave it too long and you'll be stuck in the friends zone, making it VERY difficult to ever progress the relationship.

 

So, as for the question at hand, I think same sex friends are fine as long as both parties are pretty clear that nothing hanky panky will take place. If I look back at my life, there's numerous occassions where I've done something innocent like gone to the cinema or went for a coffee with an attractive female friend but we both knew that nothing was going to happen. If this girl and her friend in this situation feel this way, I wouldn't expect a single thing to happen that would be considered taboo. If their mindset was any other way, hmm, it could lead to some compromising situations.

 

Let's hope Simon gives us his thoughts on this. He's got some interesting, and arrousing, views on the matter.

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Depends if you trust them i guess. She'd have to keep me informed or else i'd probably get suspicious, but i have plenty of friends who are girls, and i know thast just because we are of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean there is anything at hand. I'd probably be fine with it.
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You can be friends I guess. The problem is going back to being friends with someone who was a friend prior to you going out with them and then splitting up (as I've found out). Not so easy going back to being friends with someone you've seen in the buff. :lol

 

Basically, what Russ said. That's pretty much my take on it.

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So, as for the question at hand, I think same sex friends are fine as long as both parties are pretty clear that nothing hanky panky will take place.

 

 

Yeah, same sex friends of mine can keep off. :P

 

nah, I have a lot of girls who are mates. Gem has a lot of lad mates. If someones cool then they are cool.

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My friends have a theory that you cannot ever just be friends with the opposite sex' date=' there has to be a sexual element involved in it. I think differently and to be honest probably wouldnt mind if he went for coffee, im not the paranoid jealous type.[/quote']

 

Yeah, right.

 

http://img478.imageshack.us/img478/1020/popsi16nr.gif

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Meh. Doesn't bother me. Someone asked me once if it bothered me that Gill generally tends to wander off and speak to other people in puybs - I said no, we came in together and I know we're leaving together, that's all that matters to me.
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I'd be pretty ticked off. I'd be the person who would watch her every move but the thing is if I had a friend who was a girl I would expect her to take it all in nicely. If it came along I don't know how I would react, but in the end i'd probably take it in and deal with it.
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I don't see what people's problems are - there should be a little thing in your relationships called TRUST.

 

If you don't trust your partner, then you shouldn't be with them.

 

 

Erika has had several friends who are male who she has been out drinking with, and out to various other places, either on their own or in a group.

 

Similarly I've had female friends who I've been out drinking with, again on my own or with groups.

 

 

It's not a big problem as we've always trusted each other, if we didn't, then we wouldn't have remained married.

 

 

I can understand the people who aren't even 18 yet thinking that their "partner" might go off with somebody else, because at that age most people wouldn't know anything about treating their partners with respect, but once you mature, then you learn that if you're with somebody, you should trust them or not be with them.

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I'd be fine about it what's the point in worrying, especially if they have told you about the person, now, if you found out they'd been going out without you even knowing that they'd been seeing that person then thats a bit different depending on your attitude.

 

I have more male friends than female ones and most of them are absolutely gorgeous but they are friends nothing could happen. Nothing would. Everyone needs friends no matter what sex they are. What if you're partner was bi-sexual you'd be afraid to let them have any friends at all.

 

xXx

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I have to say that if you're in this situation (you've got the opposite sex friend) and you cheat, then you're a low-life-scum-bag.

 

Anybody who is in a long-term relationship and cheats on a partner with a "friend" isn't worthy of any love that their partner gives them.

 

In the opposite direction, if your partner cheats on you with a "friend", then they're a low-life-scum-bag, and they're not worthy of your love, so kick them to the curb faster than you can say "are you packed yet?".

 

If you're tempted to cheat with somebody, you've got to think "should I really be with this other person? Because I obviously want to sleep around". The best thing to do for yourself is to break it off and move on - better to end it early rather than cheating on them and hurting them. Unless of course you're a low-life-scum-bag, in which case, you deserve to be kicked to the curb.

 

There, I've said it, people who cheat are low-life-scum-bags.

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My theory is that guys only become friends with girls they want to bag off with.

 

If anyone says any different, they're lying.

Actually I've had lots of female friends who I have had no interest in sleeping with.

 

I might have found some of them attractive, but not all, and if I don't find them attractive, then there's no way that I'll want to sleep with them.

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