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XTV 40: 25th November 2005


MrFill
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The following program is a post watershed production, it will contain scenes and storylines not suitable for children and some of the content may also be unacceptable to other viewers. This program may also contain strobe lighting effects.

 

'Carve me an Edge' by Fake Ideal starts to play as the XTV opening video plays. Images are displayed throughout the title sequence:

 

Draven Cage locking in the noose.

The Judge charging down the ramp, sledgehammer in hand.

The Million Dollar Man Chris Eagles counting a fist full of greenbacks.

Tom Trash trashcanning another victim.

Barry Gower leaving Fill for dead.

The Dark Alliance being revealed.

TWO sprayed over a purple Ford Focus.

Violent Vinnie Vengeance climbing the cage.

PMA with a nutshot.

Arkham dressed as Animal.

The return of Jordi Warner.

Twiggie holding aloft the MWA title.

Tiffany raising the arms of The Judge and Jordi Warner.

The leg drop of doom from Hulkstermark.

The Lonely Avenger in striking the arena into Green Hell.

Arkham and Jaxx on the staging with Michael Cole, dildo mic in hand.

Redman returning.

Evil Gringo with his mamacita.

Deadman returning at No Mercy.

Keith Jaxx eating bananas.

Darkstar, dressed for business.

Dante standing proud, Battle Royal winner.

The Incredible Holt standing over Gringo and Gower, raising his title high above his head.

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/Andy_Telford/explosionident2ud.gif

As the image of the XTV logo fades out and the camera sweeps around the arena, the fans cheer and raise their signs to get them on TV. The view changes to the announce table.

 

Taz: Welcome to the Gund Arena here in Cleveland, Ohio, I'm Taz and beside me is my broadcast partner, Paul Heyman.

 

Paul: Yes I am, and at least you don't have to sit next to that idiot Cole anymore.

 

Taz: What a show we have tonight, and it's our last show before Survivor Series.

 

Paul: That's right Taz, and I have to say that I'm really looking forward to this show.

 

The announcers are cut off as 'Break Stuff' by Limp Bizkit hits - the crowd boo loudly for the entrance of the owner of TWOstars.

 

Darkstar walks out onto the staging in a smart business suit, he begins his slow walk to the ring, his face is impassive as he ignores the boos and jeers from the audience.

 

Taz: What does Darkstar want?

 

Paul: Why don't you wait and see? He's the owner, so he can go wherever he wants.

 

Darkie climbs into the ring, he pulls a mic from his trouser pocket as his music dies away.

 

DS: All week long I've been hearing gripes from people - nobody seems happy.

 

Taz: What's he referring to?

 

DS: First I get Boyo telling me that they deserve to choose a stipulation for the tag match at Survivor Series.

 

The crowd boo at the mention of the Welshman.

 

DS: Then I get Twiggie saying that he wants in because of some deal he's made with Warner, not to mention Jimmy Redman saying that he wants in.

 

The crowd boos at the mention of Twigs, then changes to cheers for the Prototype.

 

DS: Not to mention Keith Jaxx, our very own US Champion has been talking about Arkham getting a shot at the titles, but since Retromark isn't around, he should be his partner.

 

The crowd cheers loudly for the team and a "We Want SEX" chant breaks out around parts of the arena.

 

DS: And to cap it all off, the Judge and Jordi Warner can't see eye to eye, so I've decided to put all of my eggs in one basket.

 

Taz: What have eggs got to do with it?

 

Paul: You've been working with Cole too long.

 

DS: So at Survivor Series, I've decided to mix it up a little - we have 2 teams in a Survivor Elimination Match, and the final 2 people in the ring will be the new Tag Team Champions.

 

The crowd cheers at the prospect of the match.

 

DS: On one team we'll have The Dark Alliance, Jordi Warner and Twiggie.

 

The audience obediently boos at the mention of the heels.

 

DS: And on the other team we'll have Sports Entertainment Xtreme, The Judge and Jimmy Redman.

 

The capacity crowd cheers loudly at the face team.

 

Taz: Hang on, he's splitting up the Tag Champs?

 

Paul: That's genius, genius I tell you.

 

DS: And may the best two men win.

 

Darkstar drops the mic onto the mat before stepping out through the ropes and beginning his walk back to the staging.

 

XTV cuts to an updated SS line-up.

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Back in the S.E.X. locker room.

 

MC: Well boys you get your shot at tag team gold.

 

Arkham: I like Goldy.

 

MC: Leave that slut out of this.

 

Jaxx: Well I here we are mixing partners up all very confusing for me, but I like it.

 

Arkham: Confusing for Keithy? How do you think I feel?

 

Fade to commercials

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Back from commercial, a fixed camera is in the backstage area

 

 

 

 

Voice offscreen: It's been too *BEEP*ing long......the time isn't ready yet, but soon it will be. Just gonna check out how things have been in my absence.............Come on honey.

 

Two figures walk past the camera, we only see the back of them as they leave the scene, but we can see one is a blonde female, the other, male, has a T-shirt with a noose upon the back.

 

Taz: Is that who I think it is?

 

Heyman: Not knowing what you're thinking, I'll ignore that remark......but if it is who I think it is.....there will be carnage and bloodshed in TWOStars before the end of the year.

 

 

 

Cut to promo video of Survivor Series

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Back from the Survivor Series promo and we cut out to the parking lot where we see a stretch limo pulling up with MDC1 on the number plate.

 

Taz: Is that who I think it is?

 

Heyman: I would say it has a fair chance of being member of the Million Dollar Corporation, Taz.

 

The Limo comes to a stop with the driver then getting out before going to open the back door.

 

Taz: Would it be nice to have you own driver.

 

Heyman: You mean you don't?

 

Taz: No.

 

Heyman: I have it in my contract.

 

Taz: Son of a ...

 

Ted DiBiase steps out of the limo to a round of booing from the crowd. A few seconds more pass before Gower with a suit on climbs out to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

 

Taz: Some of these fans showing respect for Gower.

 

Heyman: And after that match with Gringo last week they damn well should be.

 

DiBiase looks at the limo driver before addressing him...

 

Ted: What the hell was that? I expected to be here ten minutes ago. What the hell do I pay you for?

 

Driver: Well.....

 

Gower grabs the limo driver by the head and hits him with a hard punch to the face. The Master of Pain then slams the driver up against the limo and begins battering his back off of it.

 

Taz: Somebody stop this.

 

Heyman: Stop what, Taz. That is a Million Dollar Corporation employee so they can do what they want.

 

Taz: Not to this extreme they can't.

 

Gower grabs the head of the limo driver and smashes his head of the glass of the limo door but it doesn't break.

 

Taz: Come on damn it somebody stop this before it gets out of control.

 

Heyman: I think that's too late.

 

Gower grabs the limo driver again and hits him harder of the glass this time smashing it as he puts his head through the glass.

 

Taz: MY GOD!!! That's bullet proof glass.

 

Heyman: His skull must be stronger than a bullet.

 

BG: Son of a bitch ruined my suit.

 

Ted: I will sort that.

 

Gower starts laughing in an evil a sadastic way

 

BG: That's nothing compared to what is going to happen to Deadman when I get my hands on him, NOTHING!!!!!

 

Cut to a S.E.X. promo

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Cuts to Boyo and Sickness, The Dark Alliance, in the Dark Alliance locker room. The crowd boo.

 

Boyo: Finally Mr Sickness, at The Survivor Series, in a match where only we can prosper, The Dark Alliance will win back our Tag Team Titles.

 

Sickness takes a bite out of a Big Kahuna Burger and nods away.

 

Boyo: Fancy that, Mr Sickness, one half of the current tag team champions captaining each side - they hate each other. We have a mincer and a doofus making up part of the opposition team, and also a metrosexual spot-monkey called Mr Jimmy completing the team. I see no threat from those men.

 

The crowd boo as Boyo smirks

 

Boyo: As Mr Ping would attest to when he saw my South Beach condo for the first time after sneaking past customs...there is definitely a gulf in class.

 

Sickness doesn't get it but the crwod boo.

 

Boyo: On "Team Dark Alliance" we have two of the greatest, most feared technical and brutal wrestlers alive. That's us two, Mr Sickness, Mr Boyo and Mr Sickness.

 

The crowd boo.

 

Boyo: And we also have Mr Twig and Mr Warn making up the remainder. This team is strong enough - EASILY strong enough - to dispose of four poofs and a piano and if needs be Mr Sickness, if needs be, we'll dispose of Messirs Twig and Warn as well.

 

The crowd boo loudly as The Dark Alliance grin menacingly.

 

Boyo: Mr Sickness, be a good man and pour me a cognac. Triple! Post haste.

 

Fades to a Jimmy Redman promo

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Back from the Redman promo.

 

In an area in the back, we see Banner, Dante, and Gringo. They are all staring grim faced at one another until finally Dante speaks.

 

D-I called you two here for a reason. I know we are facing each other at SS, but tonight, we have more important business to take care of. I just want to know we're on the same page.

 

Gringo-Yeah esse. We got it. but you know homes, after this all bets are off.

 

Banner-But first, we make sure Holt doesn't leave here tonight under his own power. No matter the cost.

 

Dante-Good. Just remember, Holt is priority tonight.

 

With this Dante leaves. Gringo and Banner stare at eachother menacingly until we fade to Heiniken beer. BRILLIANT!!!

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*Camera cuts from the Heiniken commercial to the parking lot yet again.*

 

Taz: Oh what now?

 

Paul: Someone is arriving I suppose....

 

*Camera pans and sees yet another limousine pull up not too far from

where the Million Dollar Corp parked. The headlights cause an enormous

glare on the camera before pulling away. The car eases into the spot

and gracefully stops. Out of the driver's seat steps the now familiar

frame of the British brute Niles. He humbly opens the farthest door on

the limousine and puts a small red rug on the asphalt so that the

occupant does not soil his feet. Finally emerging from within the car

is the arrogant frame of the CEO. He sniffs the garage air, wrinkling

his nose disdainfully.*

 

Finally the due slowly start making their way into the facilities,

arrogantly strutting.

 

They do not get very far before a TWO reporter intercepts them.

 

Reporter: Michael, Michael a word?

 

CEO: A word? Well...a picture's worth a thousand...but I suppose the

real thing is worth much more, especially with me. Talking to me is

expensive.

 

The reporter pulls out a fat wad of cash from his pocket. In the blink

of an eye, the CEO snatches it from him and rolls through. His eyes

suddenly furrow in dissapointment. He reaches out his hand with an

open palm.

 

Grudgingly, the reporter reaches back into his pocket and pulls out

a few more bills.

 

CEO: Make it quick, I have a massuse in 15 minutes.

 

Reporter: Ok I'll....wait what?

 

CEO: A massuse, you idiot! You know, for a massage?

 

Reporter: You're getting a massage in the TWO Stars arena??

 

CEO: Yeah, her plane lands in 15 minutes.

 

Reporter: Her plane?????

 

CEO: Im flying her in from Sweden.

 

Reporter: You're FLYING her in????

 

CEO: Hey, I have an idea...Let's pretend there is a really skinny echo

in here! And lets also pretend that if the echo is heard again, Niles

is going to floss his teeth with the echo's skull!

 

Niles cracks his knuckles.

 

Reporter: Oh..erm...right. Anyway, last week you won a triple threat

match with "The Brutal" Brett Banner and "The New Role Model" Shane

Cross. Now you're teaming with one of your opponents tonight.How do you

feel about that?

 

CEO: How do I feel? Well, how should i feel? I love ALL of my

buisness associates. Shane Cross is very considerate. FINALLY someone

is thinking of the kids and being a good role model.

 

Reporter: .....but...last week you insulted Shane Cross. You said he

was a horrible role model.

 

***There is a long pause***

 

CEO:.................no i didn't.

 

Reporter: Yes...yes you did.

 

CEO: ..............no i didn't

 

Reporter: I think you did.

 

The CEO reaches back into his pocket and pulls out a few bills from

the reporter's wad. He hands it to him.

 

CEO: NO .....I didn't

 

Reporter: Right. You didn't. So how do you feel about Shane Cross, whom

you did NOT insult last week?

 

CEO: I love the guy! A good role model in wrestling is very important.

I mean...granted he's not AS GOOD a role model as I am...he didn't

graduate Harvard...he was never an all-american football star...

he's never been the head of a major corporation...

he's never succesfully led a leveraged buyout...and he's never offered

a reporter a massage from a Swedish supermodel.....

if he stopped asking questions.

 

The Reporter's eyes light up.

 

Reporter: OH UMM, and that concludes the interview!!....*whispers* so does she..?

 

CEO: ....uh huh.....

 

Reporter:...and will she....?

 

CEO:..oh yeah...

 

Reporter:....so she can....?

 

CEO: ....yep....

 

Reporter: So can we just....?

 

CEO: Ah, ah! Not so fast!

 

MHIII reaches out his hand again demandingly.

 

This time the reporter reaches in willingly and pulls out another wad

of cash, his eyes gleaming, forhead perspiring, and his salivating lips

trying hard not to overflow.

 

CEO: Ok...but make yours quick.

 

The trio walk off...the reporter holding his hands together in giddy

anticipation and wearing an idiot's grin on his face.

 

*Cut to.....*

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announce table...

 

Taz: Welcome back folks and we are not long after seeing a horrid act by Barry Gower about 10 minutes ago as he put his own limo driver through the windscreen. Lets take another look at that.

 

Gower grabs the limo driver by the head and hits him with a hard punch to the face. The Master of Pain then slams the driver up against the limo and begins battering his back off of it.

 

Taz: Somebody stop this.

 

Heyman: Stop what, Taz. That is a Million Dollar Corporation employee so they can do what they want.

 

Taz: Not to this extreme they can't.

 

Gower grabs the head of the limo driver and smashes his head of the glass of the limo door but it doesn't break.

 

Taz: Come on damn it somebody stop this before it gets out of control.

 

Heyman: I think that's too late.

 

Gower grabs the limo driver again and hits him harder of the glass this time smashing it as he puts his head through the glass.

 

Taz: MY GOD!!! That's bullet proof glass.

 

Heyman: His skull must be stronger than a bullet.

 

BG: Son of a bitch ruined my suit.

 

Ted: I will sort that.

 

Gower starts laughing in an evil a sadastic way

 

BG: That's nothing compared to what is going to happen to Deadman when I get my hands on him, NOTHING!!!!!

 

Back at the announce table...

 

Heyman: Gower sure has it in for anyone at the minute and rumour has it that Deadman is also scheduled to be here tonight, but what for?

 

Taz: Who knows, Paul. But whatever it is you just know it isn't going to end with a nice warm hug.

 

"Wild Boys" hits the speakers to a loud pop and a few "alright" chants.

 

Taz: Oh dear, Paul.

 

Heyman: Oh dear is right,.

 

Keith Jaxx steps out onto the staging with a pink poka dot robe on, which gains a loud cheer from the crowd as he spins around. Jaxx then begins jogging his way down to the ring where he then slides on in.

 

Taz: Jaxx's match isn't scheduled to later, Paul.

 

Heyman: I know, which means we have to suffer this Gay moron twice in one night.

 

Taz: You can't call him that.

 

Heyman: What Gay? That's what he is plain and simple, he's Gay.

 

Taz: People take offence to that word, Paul. You just can't say it, he is a homosexual.

 

Heyman: Whatever he is, as long as he comes nowhere near me.

 

Taz sniggers at Heyman saying comes nowhere near me.

 

Jaxx reaches inside his robe brining out the patented Dildo mic to some more "Alright" chants from the crowd.

 

Jaxx: If you would be so kind to cut my funky music off.

 

"Wild Boys" fades out and Keith Jaxx once again moves the Dildo mic up to his mouth to speak.

 

Jaxx: Thank you sweety in the back.

 

Taz: Dear, dear, dear.

 

Heyman: I think you meant Quere, Quere, Quere.

 

Taz: You can't say that either, Paul.

 

Heyman: *Sighs*

 

Jaxx: You are probably wondering why I have came out here tonight.

 

Heyman: Didn't he come out a LONG time ago?

 

Taz: I believe so.

 

Jaxx: Well the answer is quite simple. As you know I am the United States Champion.

 

Pop from the crowd

 

Jaxx: And you know I love getting in the ring with sweaty men.

 

Taz: I think I am going to throw up.

 

Heyman: You aren't alone.

 

Jaxx: Well I have decided that on top of my tag team match that because I enjoy men so much I will defend the United States title against any and everyman that wants a shot at Survivor Series.

 

Taz: Is he mad?

 

Heyman: No he is just G...

 

Taz: Don't say it.

 

Jaxx: ALRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTT!!!!!!

 

"Wild Boys" hits the speakers as Jaxx slide the Dildo mic back into his robe before leaving the ring.

 

Cuts to a "Wrestlemania" promo

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Back from the "Wrestlemania" Promo to TLA's locker room backstage.

 

The Lonely Avenger is sitting in a very lonely way in the darkness.

 

TLA: I am The Lonely Avenger, and lonely for revenge am I.

 

PH: What the f***?

 

TZ: Listen carefully Paul. Avenger has always wise things to say.

 

TLA: I am the lonely avenger, the masked truth, the punishing horror. i know who i am and you all know that too but Keith Jaxx doesn't seem to understand that. i am a destruction machine that can take him out in a few seconds.

 

TZ: He's right you know. Jaxx doesn't have half the strength Avenger has.

 

PH: And balls too!

 

TLA: I earned my US title shot at No Mercy against Trash and was given the shot at Survivor Series. Yet here i am hearing that quere Jaxx issuing a challenge to every single man in the back who dares to step in the ring with him. He is ready to defend the title against anyone who says he wants to.

 

PH: We did hear what Jaxx said, didn't we? We don't need him to repeat it!

 

TZ: Hang on Paul. This is really serious.

 

TLA: I earned that title shot. I had a match and got that title shot, and there is no one out here in the back that has the might of The Avenger and his patience. There is no one whatsover that is the legal contender more then I am. This is why i will make sure tonight that I would remain the sole Contender to the US title at Survivor Series. This is a warning sent to every single man who dares to respond to Jaxx's challenge as i will destroy him and cripple him before Survivor Series arrives.

 

PH: Someone is feeling angry...

 

TZ: Would you just shut the hell up Paul? You're a a pain in the ass!

 

PH: No, Jaxx is a real pain in the ass!

 

TLA: I will punish each and every one of you wrestlers who accept the challenge and i will show you what true horror means. And as for you Jaxx, i will meat you in the ring tonight, mano to mano, one on one, to give you a little taste of the horror and punishment you will endure at Survivor Series.

 

Moment of silence.

 

TLA: Now leave me alone and get the hell out of here, for i want to get back to the solace and loneliness of darkness, waiting for the right time to come and break the silence of indifference into a detonation of revenge!

 

Cut to The Incredible Holt's new acting role as a green Tralfamadorian in the movie "Slaughter House-Five".

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Back from the movie promo, we're in the SEX dressing room - the crowd cheers at the sight of Arkham sat, looking confused, and Cole sitting on an easy chair.

 

Arkham: Little Michael, explain to me again.

 

Michael: It's quite simple - 8 men in the match, 4 each team, and they get eliminated, the last 2 in the match are the Tag Champions.

 

Arkham: But why Judge and Warney on diffrent teams?

 

Michael: They don't like each other.

 

Arkham: So why they champs?

 

Michael: I really don't know, but they really don't like each other.

 

Arkham: So me and Keithy be last 2, then we be tag champies?

 

Michael: Yes, you will.

 

Arkham: Goodie, me like being taggy champ, it fun.

 

Michael: Well, I'm bored, when's Keith back?

 

At this point Jaxx walks back into the dressing room, the crowd cheers loudly and breaks into an "Alright" chant.

 

Keith: Bored you say? How about some Twister?

 

Cole gets a huge grin on his face as Arkham hops up.

 

Arkham: I likes Twistie, can I do spinnies?

 

Keith: Of course you can, then I get to be all tied up with Michael.

 

Cole is already setting up the Twister mat as Jaxx undoes his pink polka dot dressing gown, revealing his tight t-shirt and shorts.

 

The scene fades out to cheering and laughter from the crowd.

 

Fade to a SEX promo.

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Cuts to The Dark Alliance locker room, Sickness is washing his Big Kahuna Burger down with a Sprite.

 

Boyo: What's that you're drinking Mr Sickness? Sprite? Good? A nutritious breakfast indeed!

 

There is a knock at the door.

 

Boyo: Enter.

 

The door opens and Evil Gringo is standing there with Mamacita Becki Moss. The crowd pop HUGE!

 

Boyo: Well hello Mr Ping, Mr Mama.

 

EG: Shut your Goddam mouthpiece ese!!

 

The crowd pop really loudly. Sickness stands alongside Boyo.

 

EG: Woah, woah, woah, Sickness homes, hold your horses ese bato...

 

Sickness has no idea what Gringo just said.

 

EG: Hold up amigos, I didn't come lookin' for any trouble homes. I just came to talk, bizzeeness with you ese bato. Estaria agre de theida se de decho chupa mi lengua, mi amigo Boyo homes! I wanna shake your hand.

 

Gringo holds out his hand to Boyo. Boyo eyes him suspiciously.

 

Boyo: Why do you wanna shake my hand, Mr Ping?

 

EG: To show there's no hard feelings, ese!

 

Boyo: Hard feelings..?

 

EG: From last week Boyo man. From when you assaulted my mamacita here and disrespected my personal tribute to my idol Eddy Guerrrrrrrrrrrrrero's legacy ese! I forgeeeeve you, homes.

 

Some of the crowd quieten, coz they can tell ol' EG is fibbing.

 

Boyo: Ah yes, Mr Ed.

 

EG: Yeah man, ese homes bato amigo puta-doing cabron ese homes!! I ain't mad at choo.

 

Boyo: Really?!

 

EG: Naw way ese! I realise now that I was a little outta ma depth amigo, doing that Lucha Libre match against Gowerino bato! You were right, I should have just pissed all over Eddy Guerrrrrrrrrrrrrero's legacy like you did, ese!!

 

Boyo: That's right, you shouldn't have made a fuss, should you, my hammigo. Mr Ed was average at best. You should only really make a fuss over truly great wrestlers when they pass away. Someone like me, perhaps. Boyo. I'm a great wrestler.

 

EG: You so are, homes, ese puta bato!! And don't worry ese, when it's time for YOUR funeral, I'll be at the front of the queue. Now put it there, ese!

 

Gringo still has his hand extended. Boyo shakes it and smirks to the camera.

 

EG: You know something Boyo, cabron ese bato?

 

Boyo: What's that, Mr Ping?

 

EG: When I told you I'll be around for your funeral, I meant it man!

 

Boyo: That's great news, Mr Ping.

 

EG: And when I told you I forgeeeeve you -

 

Boyo: Yes.

 

EG: I LIED!!!!!

 

The crowd pop huge as Mamacita pokes Boyo in the eye and the Gringos walk away laughing.

 

Cuts to a Sickness promo

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Back from Sickness's whole deal we see Tony Chimmel in the center of the ring. The arena is bathed in psychedelic swirls.

 

http://img449.imageshack.us/img449/4392/twiggie11aa5so.jpg

 

is displayed in close ups and as a whole across the TWOtron. Jungle Boy recorded by Twiggie's very own band: Bremstrahung Farad is pumped through the speakers of the arena. Twiggie appears at the top of the ramp wheeling his signature recycling bin behind him, his hardcore title hanging over the side. Around his head is tied a bandana, displaying the Stars & Stripes. Underneath can be seen the bulge of a bandage. He shouts various things to the fans while waving his free arm angrily. The crowd responds by shouting obscenities, and throwing Styrofoam cups.

 

Chimmel: Weighing in tonight at 196 pounds. He is the self-proclaimed TWOstars Hardcore Champion. He is … Twwwwwwwwwiggie!

 

Heymen: This is ridiculous, he's not a TWO champion.

 

Taz: Yes Paul, we're well aware, but the guy is just so damn hardcore.

 

Twig reaches out and snatches up a sign from a fan along the ramp. It reads: “Twig for mayor” and shouts at them.

 

Twiggie: You're not helping the cause, you know!

 

He makes his way around the side of the ring. Leaving his bin at the base of the steps he slides under the ropes and dances like a fool until his music fades out.

 

The quiet intro to 'Death of Seasons' by AFI starts, and Redman's video starts playing on the TV screen. We see mysterious shots of a darkly dressed man, in various states of running, looking around corners and stillness. The camera moves backwards slowly and is shortly engulfed in smoke. As the music kicks in, Jimmy comes running out of the smoke. He pauses for a second to look out at the crowd, and then sprints down the ramp. The Prototype slides into the ring, and in one fluid motion turns onto his back and does a nip up to stare straight into the eyes of Twiggie. He then climbs the ropes, and poses with both hands pointing up.

 

Taz: Not a bright idea.

 

The ref calls for the bell, and Twiggie hammers away with some clubbing blows to Jimmy's back.

 

Heyman: The Metalhead fighting back, kicking Twiggie down to the mat.

 

Jimmy repositions on the top rope before flying off.

 

Taz: Elbow drop! … Oh, but nobody's home.

 

Sure enough Twiggie manages to roll out of harms way. Giving Jimmy no time to recover the Deadlocked Rasta stomps away at the red man's head, before.

 

Heyman: Ewww… A nasty spinning boot scrape.

 

Taz: Don't you mean spinning foot scrape?

 

The Prototype heaves and convulses before rolling out of the ring to recover. Referee Arron Beaver begins the count out.

 

1

 

The Colorado Troubadour bounces off the far ropes, and comes sliding towards Jimmy, feet first.

 

2

 

Heyman: Redman playing possum!

 

Taz: Impressive move too. After he sidestepped the dirty hippy, he hit him with… I guess you'd call it some kind of backbreaker.

 

Arron restarts the count out.

 

1

 

Jimmy lays into Twiggith with some blows to the head.

 

2

 

The Prototype locks in a side headlock, and brings Twiggles to his feet with it locked in.

 

3

 

In the blink of an eye Jimmy switches holds and slams Twiggs onto his back.

 

Heyman: Huge Full Nelson Slam on the outside!

 

4

 

The North Carolinian slides the Colorado native into the ring and goes for the pin, making sure to hook the leg.

 

O

N

E

 

 

T

W

O

 

 

Heyman: You think that could do it?

 

 

T

-

 

Taz: No, of course not. You forget. Twig's hardcore!!!!

 

Heyman: Yeah, but don't think I didn't notice how you waited till after the hippy kicked out to answer.

 

The two competitor get up to their feet at the same time and begin to trade left hands.

 

Taz: You know, I just realized that both these guys are lefties.

 

Heyman: Really? What gave it away.

 

Taz: Well, if you look close- Ahhh shut up Pauly.

 

After a sudden European uppercut the Prototype grabs Twig's head for a DDT.

 

Taz: Wait! The dirty hippy countered! Suplex-time.

 

Heyman: No! Jimmy's got it scouted! Swinging DDT!

 

Taz: But T-Wiggins rolls through into a pin.

 

Arron hits the deck and slaps the mat.

 

O

N

E

 

 

Out of ref Beaver's sight Twigathan puts his legs on the second rope.

 

 

T

W

O

 

 

 

T

H

-

 

 

Taz: What!? Jimmy didn't kickout!

 

Heyman: Yeah, but Arron Beaver noticed the interesting choice of cover that the dirty hippy chose.

 

Not wasting any time the two are back to their feet circling each other around the ring. Twig's wounds have opened from the DDT and the American flag on twig's head slowly absorbs more and more blood.

 

Taz: Each man… looking for an opening… an opportunity to strike.

 

Twiggie reaches out his hand, to lock up with Jimmy. The Prototype obliges, but is quickly pulled in and brought to the mat with a snap suplex. In an instant The Recycler flips over Redman and slaps on a crossface chickenwing. The whole ref'n show gets on his knees in front of the two and watches Jimmy's hand with intent.

 

Arron: Jimmy, do you submit?

 

The Metalhead waves his arm indicating a “no.” Twiggie pulls back and gets up to his knees, and eventually his feet.

 

Arron: Watch that hold, Twig!

 

Complying with Arron's demands, Twig slides his hand away from Jimmy's neck, but the Prototype seizes the opportunity to push Twiggie back. Jimmy flips about, rolls around Twiggie and locks in a hold of his own.

 

Heyman: Now that's impressive. I couldn't tell you how, but Twiggie's now on the receiving end of a guillotine choke.

 

Twiggie stumbles a few steps to the left, then forward. He pops his hips and tries for a suplex, but Jimmy barely moves.

 

Taz: The dirty hippy is fading fast.

 

The Colorado Troubadour waffles and almost falls down to his knees, but instead he stumbles back into the ropes. Redman pushes off with his feet, and they're once again in the center of the ring. They don't stay there for long as Twig uses the momentum to run blindly into the turnbuckle, breaking the hold. After a few hard lefts Twiggie shoves his foot into Jimmy's face, trapping him in the corner. Arron doesn't like this, but has to give Twiggs until the count of five.

 

1

 

2

 

Taz: Redman's turning green!

 

3

 

The Metalhead bobs his head and gags due to the close vicinity of Twig's skanky feet.

 

4

 

Twiggie backs away, as Redman vomits over the top rope to the outside. Taking advantage of the Prototype's weak stomach, Twiggie sticks Jimmy's hand between his own legs. He hooks his other arm and pumphandles him onto the dirty hippy's shoulder.

 

Heyman: Twig's calling for the Twiggaludo Frosion.

 

Twig takes a few steps forward away from the corner.

 

Jimmy Redman wiggles free of Twig's grasp, flips off his shoulder and takes the Recycler to the mat with an armdrag.

 

Taz: We're seeing quite a display from these too. It's surprising, since they're not all that familiar with each other in the ring.

 

Heyman: Yeah, but their styles are so similar, it's like they're wrestling with themselves.

 

The Phishhead lays all but motionless on the mat. Jimmy gets to his feet and brings Twiggie up into gut wrench position.

 

Taz: Nope. The Bleeding-Heart Liberal stopping the gut wrench suplex, with a simple hook of the leg.

 

Heyman: And now Twig's going for a suplex of his own.

 

Jimmy stops Twigger's attempt in much the same way. They go back and forth, failing to suplex one another before Twiggie changes tactics. He scoops up the wrassler from Raleigh.

 

Taz: Michinoku driver!

 

Heyman: and Twig follows up with a headscissors armbar

 

Taz: Actually, it's known as “Stash the Gumbo” the nasty feet being the kicker to the armbar.

 

Jimmy writhes on the mat and violently flops his way about the ring. He manages to find the rope with is foot.

 

Twiggie breaks the hold. The two make it to their feet, with the Metalhead dry heaving.

 

Twiggie attempts to lock up, but is doubled over with a kick to the gut. A northern lights suplex brings the two back to the mat. The Prototype gets up quickly and Twig makes it to his feet amidst a flurry of light kicks. Once the PETA Punisher is up, he's doubled over again.

 

Heyman: Jimmy's wasting no time, setting up the Protobomb… This could be it!!

 

As Redman spins eiggiwT leans back and turns the tables with a swinging head scissors. The two take a breather on the mat. The ever vigilant ref Beaver starts the double count out.

 

1

 

2

 

3

 

4

 

Jimmy stirs, but Twig lays motionless

 

5

 

Jimmy's up to his knees, but Twiggie suddenly nips up to his feet. He begins to sings loudly and annoyingly to the crowd.

 

Twiggie: trying to make a woman match your mo~ove … mooo~oo~~oooove! And I'm sharin' in the Weekapaug Groove!

 

Jimmy's up on his feet, but is met instantly with a front kick to the stomach, then a side kick to the chest. A roundhouse to the face sends Jimmy into the nearby corner. Twiggie smirks and nods at the crowd, drawing a chorus of boos.

 

The Colorado Troubadour lifts Redman up to the top turnbuckle and climbs up with him. The Prototype immediately fights back. After a few hard lefts he hooks Twiggs head and grabs his free arm.

 

Taz: I think Twiggie's attempt at a Weekapaug Groove, could be foiled by a Metalhead, from the Metalhead himself.

 

The crowd pops huge,

 

but Twig fights back.

 

 

After two knees to Jimmy's gut he frees his hand and whips around.

 

Taz: It could be!

 

 

Heyman: It might be!

 

 

Twiggie: Sharin' in the groove!

 

 

Taz & Heyman: Weekapaug groove!

 

The crowd boos out of the disappointment that they won't be seeing the Metalhead tonight.

 

Twig climbs onto Jimmy, and hooks his leg nearly folding him in half.

 

O

N

E

 

 

Heyman: C'mon you can get up!

 

 

 

T

W

O

 

 

 

Taz: Forget it Paul, he's down for the count

 

 

 

 

T

H

R

E

E

 

DINGDINGDING

 

Chimmel: Your winner tonight, by pinfall… Twwwwiggie!!

 

 

Taz: It was a close fight the whole way, but Twig came out on top.

 

Heyman: Both men earned my respect tonight.

 

Taz: Me too, Twig proved once and for all that he can actually win a match without using a foreign object.

 

Heyman: Don't go anywhere folks. We still have Shane Cross & Michael Howell vs. the tag champs, Judge & Jordi Warner

 

Taz: And our very own US champion, Keith Jaxx, takes on The Lonely Avenger after that.

 

Heyman: Now don't you forget that the Future is going up against Evil Gringo, Dante, and the Brutal Brett Banner.

 

Taz: And after the main event there's still more!

 

Heyman: You know I originated that.

 

Taz: Yeah, but you put the main event as the first match of the night.

 

Heyman: Details… details.

 

Cut to an update on Tom Trash's recovery.

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Return from an update on Tom Trash still trying to suck down on exhaust pipes to cut to the backstage area and Joey Styles.

 

JS: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am currently standing outside the former office of the old TWO Network Representative Philip Martin Atken and it has been reported that Mr Atken's back-up is arriving here tonight to take over his former role. A few seconds ago I got word that there has been some sort of disturbance inside this very of...

 

Joey Styles is cut off by a rather angered Phil Atken storming out of his old office and slamming the door shut.

 

JS: Mr. Atken! Mr. Atken! What are you doing here tonight?

 

PMA: Just because I am currently on suspension does not mean I am completely out of this job... yet. Last weeks hearings went very well, thankfully so I can safely say that although I have been suspended from that job, for the moment, and I cannot stress that fact enough. IT'S ONLY FOR THE MOMENT, DO YOU HEAR ME IN THERE YOU FREAKING JERK? AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF VICTORIA! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN THERE!

 

JS: Who is currently in your office? Who is your current temporary replacement? Who is sitting in that chair?

 

PMA: You know what, find out for yourself, I don't even want to utter the idiots name. I only came here to get some paperwork I require to get this freaking job back, and the sooner the better, because this place will quickly, and I do mean quickly, go down the shitter with HIM in charge. Trust me on that one.

 

JS: Would you advise going into the new Network Representative's office at the moment?

 

PMA: If you enjoy watching oral sex sure, although there are regulations against airing that on network TV.

 

At that moment Jerry "The King" Lawler walks by, turns and enters the network office.

 

JL: PUPPIES!

 

Jerry continues to enter the office and slams the door shut.

 

JS: What was that?

 

PMA: The first in a very long line of mistakes the idiot in there is going to make unless I get my power restored quickly. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go and do that very thing.

 

JS: Mr Atken, thank you for your time.

 

PH: You have got to wonder what is going on inside the network office at the moment.

 

Tazz: I want to know how gets under Atken's skin that much, because he's a friend of mine.

 

PH: Yeah, that's it, start praising the guy who looks like he's replacing you with Lawler.

 

Tazz: ME? Your the temp here.

 

PH: Honestly, I think I know which one of us is in danger and it sure as hell isn't me.

 

Cut to something... anything... LETS GO RIDE BIKES

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Back in the S.E.X. locker room and we see Cole and Jaxx on the Twister board.

 

Arkham: Do I have to spin the spinees again?

 

Jaxx: Yes, my good friend.

 

Arkham: Okies.

 

Arkham spins the the spiny thingy and it lands on Right foot Yellow.

 

Cole: What did it land on? I am nearly falling here.

 

Jaxx: That's ok Cole I will catch you.

 

Arkham: I'm confused.

 

Cole: Ok one more time, Warner and Judge are in opposite teams because they don't like each other.

 

Jaxx: And if it's just me and you left after everyone else is eliminted then we are the tag team champions.

 

Arkham: Okies, but I meant wif this spinee. I think it's yellow foot right but I can't be sure.

 

Jaxx: That's ok I have got this.

 

Jaxx trys to reposition himself but ends up falling on top of Cole.

 

Jaxx: Alriiiighhttt.

 

Arkham: So can someone explain the tag match again?

 

The crowd laugh as we fade to commercials

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Cut to the parking lot.

 

An old white Fiat Panda (with blacked out windows) pulls up outside the arena.

 

PH: What the….

 

TAZZ: Looks like someone is arriving….

 

PH: Duh!

 

A midget hops out from the driver’s seat and scuttles over to open the rear doors……

 

……….and the passenger is…………….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

………………………………...................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DARKSTARMARK!

 

DS: Thank you young man. Now - to business.

 

TAZZ: It’s that jerk off Retromark imitating the boss!

 

RM approaches the two intimidating looking door men (likely some local wrestling talent :P ), who are guarding the main entrance.

 

RM: Excuse me, gentlemen….

 

DM1: Nobody but talent allowed, sir.

 

DM2: He’s right.

 

RM: But I am Darkstar, owner of TWO Stars!

 

DM1: You’re Retromark. Darkstar’s already inside.

 

DM2: He’s right.

 

Retromark stares intently at Doorman Number 2.…

 

RM: Are you….? Didn’t you…..? You’re Dominator, aren’t you?!

 

DM2: Er…..

 

RM: I thought you were injured…..

 

DM2: Well, er……

 

DM1: *Ahem*

 

Doorman number one stands directly in front of Retromark.

 

DM1: Listen son, you ain’t getting’ in.

 

DM2 just nods.

 

RM charges at both Doormen who lift him under the arms and begin to carry Retromark back to his beloved Fiat….

 

RM: You’re gonna regret this! I’m a former Tag Team Champion! I was the first MWA Champion! If you want to work any independants in Manchester…….you’re not getting in!

 

The doormen dump Retromark in a puddle….

 

RM: I’d have gotten away with it….if it wasn’t for those pesky kids!

 

Cut to Commercial.

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Back from cmmercial we see Twiggie in his locker room. It's an all out party, Twiggie is dancing on top of a coffee table shaking and sparying a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale about the room.

 

Twig: Whooo~OOO~ooo~OOO~ooo!!!!

 

Steve Romero enters the room and makes his way oer to Twiggie. He's constanly bumped and pushed around the sea of hippies.

 

Romero: Twiggie. TWIGGIE! If I could get a word?

 

Twig: Yeah, sure what's up buddy?

 

Romero: What's this all about!? You just won a normal match.

 

Twig: No, no you don't unnderstand. This party is to celebrate my second match at Survivor Series.

 

Romero: Your second match?

 

Twig: Yeah! A three-way-dance. Man, I love to dance!

 

Romero: Okay, but againnst who?

 

Twig: Well, it's me...

 

Romero: Obviously.

 

Twig: The Lonely Avenger...

 

The crowd pops a little.

 

Romero: Really? Who else?

 

Twig: Keith Jaxx... and his belts on the line!

 

Romero turns to the camera

 

Romero: There you have it! At Survivor Series Keith Jaxx will have a three way with Twiggie and the Lonely Avenger.

 

Twiggie slpas Romero as we fade to black.

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As we fade back in we see Gringo (crowd cheers) stretching in the corridor using a trusty Dr Pepper vending machine as a post....

 

Up approachs his hombre Black Dragon (the crowd gives him a mild pop)...

 

BD: Hey Gring, see my match?

 

EG: Hell yeah ese, nice show, way to show those chico's in the office what your all about... and that Skytwister, mucho loco hombre.....

 

BD: Cheers... But what about you and Boyo...

 

EG: Oh that little thing ese? I got that under control, no problamo eh homes... But I tell you this, it ain't finished because what have we learned homes?

 

BD: No one touches a member of the New Gringo Army...

 

EG: And gets away with it... thats right homes... espically my Mamacita...

 

BD: But what about tonight. Those guys your tagging with have got your shot at Survivour Series...

 

EG: I'm sure I can convince that little NegroStar that he NEEDS me in that main event... I know Banner and Dante earned it ese but me and the big man? We got unfinished business you know what I'm saying homes?

 

BD: Too right homes, just remember, I've got your back and Mamacita's too okay?

 

EG: Cheers hombre, but don't take your eyes off the screen ese... Because tonight I am gonna show this lot just how Sensational this Gringo is homes... And when the lights go out tonight.... Well they will find out why I AM the fear in the dark and I am ALL their future holds....

 

BD: I get ya homes... good luck yeah?

 

EG: Gracias ese.... I'll see you later... Oh and heres a present for you...

 

Gringo whacks the machine in an almost Fonz like fashion and it spits out a can straight into Dragon's hands....

 

EG: Have a post-match cool down on me ese.... I'll see you later. Viva La Raza!

 

BD: Amen Gring....

 

With that Black Dragon heads back off to the NGA's dressing room as Gringo begins to fit on his knee pads, getting ready for war and we cut to....

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We're in the SEX dressing room, this garners another cheer from the crowd.

 

Jaxx and Cole are all tangled up on the twister mat.

 

Arkham: We not play Twistie no more? You not play properly.

 

Jaxx: Awww, you're no fun, but this sweetie is.

 

Cole laughs as he makes no attempt to free himself.

 

Jaxx: I have an idea.

 

Arkham: You finking what I finking?

 

Jaxx: I don't know, but where are we going to get 8 strap on dildos for the tag match on Sunday?

 

Arkham: I not understand.

 

Cole: Look, they don't like each other, so they're on opposite teams, and the last 2 people are the tag champions.

 

Arkham: No, what are strappy dildos?

 

Jaxx: Oh, I'll explain later. Giggidy, giggidy.

 

Arkham: Now explain tag match again please.

 

The crowd laughs as we fade to...

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We return back from a S.E.X video package, Where the camera’s are at ringside on Heyman and Taz

 

Taz - Survivor Series is this Sunday Paul

 

PH - Yeah I know Taz

 

Taz - And what a line up we have so far

 

PH - Well just signed is Jaxx V Avenger V Twiggie

 

Taz - Jaxx will love that Paul

 

PH - Don’t start Taz, I have just finished lunch

 

Taz - Also Jaxx competes in the classic survivor series match with a twist

 

PH - Yeah, The last two men will be the new TWOstars tag team champions

 

Taz - So we could end up with Jaxx and Boyo as tag team champions

 

PH - Boyo has to much class to team with him

 

Taz - Well it could happen

 

PH - Anyway we also have the main event, The three way between Banner, Dante and the heavyweight champion King Holt

 

Taz - That will be off the hook

 

PH - And by the end of this week, We should have some more matches signed

 

Taz - Hold on Paul

 

PH - What ?

 

Taz - You forgot the TV title match

 

PH - Oh VVV V Eagles

 

Taz - Yeah

 

PH - Well we haven’t seen or heard from them I though the match was off

 

Taz - Well I have word from the back that VVV is here

 

PH - Who from ?

 

Taz - A little birdie told me

 

PH - So why doesn’t he come out here

 

Before Taz can speak the TWOtron starts to play

 

PH - What the …….

 

VVV appears on the TWOtron waiting in the parking lot

 

Taz - Is this live or from earlier ?

 

PH - Well it light so it must be from earlier

 

The camera moves around the parking lot, But only VVV is there, But in VVV’s hand is a sledge hammer

 

PH - Oh dear

 

Taz - That’s not a sight we want to be seeing

 

VVV starts pounding the hammer on to his open hand with a evil smile on his face, As a car can be heard in the background

 

PH - Look’s like VVV thinks Eagles did come

 

Taz - It is Eagles look at that limo

 

PH - Was Eagles, This is from earlier don’t forget

 

VVV charges at the limo as it pulls up smashing the back doors window in with the hammer, Again VVV swings the hammer as the limo try’s to drive off, But the smashing glass can be heard, As the camera shows the speeding limo pulling off, But failing to avoid the hammer, As the back windscreen has a large hole in it with a worried looking Eagles looking out of the broken window, As VVV throws the hammer to the floor, As the TWOtron fades to black, And then back on again

 

Taz - Now what ?

 

PH - That’s the local strip club

 

Taz - How do you know that ?

 

PH - Business

The camera moves around the strip club before moving towards a table with about 10 big men standing up next to it, As the camera gets nearer, The big men move over revealing a man sat, Stuff $50 dollar bills down the g-strings of the two blonds dancing around him

 

Voice Over

Taz - Look at that

 

PH - I’d say, The King would love this

 

Taz - King Holt ?

 

PH - Jerry Lawler

 

Taz - Oh

 

The camera move up to the edge of the table, As Eagles spins around in the chair

 

MDM - HA HA, So VVV though he got the best of me, Well not tonight sonny, I wasn’t staying anyway, I was just going to meet Barry and Ted, Then wait for them here, But YOU tried to kill me, you’re a mad man, But YOUR still going to lose your TV title this Sunday

 

Eagles pulls out some more $50 dollar bills, And pushes them down the top of the first blond, Who kiss’s him on the cheek

 

MDM - VVV, I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to hurt you before Sunday, SO Vinnie I’ll see you at survivor series, Oh and bring MY title with you, Now get out of here before I call someone to do it for you

 

The camera fades to black as one of the big men grabs it from him

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Back in the S.E.X. locker room

 

Arkham: Hey Keithy aren't you supposed to be out in ringy now?

 

Jaxx: Why yes I am. I am supposed to be out there get all sweaty and pounding some guy into the mat.

 

Arkham: You like ringy Keithy.

 

Jaxx: I do, I do, I do - oooooooo. Hey you thinking what I'm thinking?

 

Arkham: Opposite teams and the people who hate each other win?

 

Jaxx: No the other thing.

 

Arkham: Ohh, where we going to get all that Jelly mixes?

 

Jaxx: I don't know but I am sure we will find a way.

 

Arkham: Then when when we get the Jelly mixes can you explain the tag match again?

 

Jaxx: Whatever you want my sweety.

 

Fades to commercials

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Back from the adverts, we see a "recorded earlier today" message on the screen.

 

We're in a gym, loads of padding is laid out on the floor. Michael Cole suddently walks into view wearing a loose pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt which is cut short, showing his belly.

 

Michael: Guys, I'm ready now.

 

The camera pans around slightly to show Arkham walk into view, he's wearing his normal ring attire, just behind him is Jaxx who seems to be positioning a vaulting horse - he is also wearing his ring attire.

 

Michael: This training session is a really good idea for your next tag match.

 

Arkham: Me like training, keep in shape.

 

Keith: And what a shape it is.

 

Michael: OK, so are you ready there Keithy?

 

Jaxx leaps up onto the vaulting horse, he stands on the top of it quite steadily.

 

The big man suddenly scoops up Cole and in one swift motion he sets him up in the crucifix position (ready for the Razor's Edge), then as he begins to dive forwards Jaxx leaps, landing on the chest of Cole just before he slams into the matting - Jaxx's crotch is frimly positioned in Cole's face.

 

Arkham climbs up to his hands and knees.

 

Arkham: We do that right?

 

Keith: I think so, it felt very good.

 

Cole manages to get his face slightly free.

 

Michael: I think we need to do this again.

 

Arkham: It not right?

 

Jaxx is still kneeling over Cole's face.

 

Keith: We all know that I can go alllll niiiiiight loooong, baby.

 

Arkham gets up and prepares to help Jaxx up, but Cole is holding onto his legs.

 

Michael: I think we need to stay like this to rest a minute though.

 

Keith: If you insist, sweety.

 

Michael: Mmmmm, I do.

 

Arkham: Trainings have lots of resties, doesn't it?

 

 

Back to the announce desk.

 

Taz: Looks like those guys are training ready for their next tag match.

 

Paul: More like Cole perving on Jaxx.

 

Taz: How can you perv on somebody like Jaxx?

 

Paul: I don't know, but Cole is doing it.

 

Fade to a SS line-up.

Edited by MrFill
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TC: The following match is a non title match and is scheduled for one fall.

 

TZ: Here we go again. This is the second time this month Jaxx and Avenger square off in this very ring. After Twiggie involved himself in the Jaxx vs. Avenger match at Survivor Series, what will be its effects on this match?

 

PH: The Lonely Avenger sure is madly enraged about this as he made it clear earlier on. A good thing to do is to end Jaxx's run tonight and prevent him from making it to Sunday's PPV.

 

TZ: I know Avenger is demented and unstable but he wouldn’t risk such a thing. Who knows how this match will end, let's find out...

 

The lights go out in the TWO arena as the intro of "Lonely World" by Limp Bizkit starts playing. Green flames appear on the TWOtron, consuming simultaneously the names MDM Chris Eagle and Tom 'The Disciple' Trash in its way. As it invades the whole TWOtron, a green mask appears to be rising from the ground. The Lonely Avenger ascends to ground level, head bowed down and hands crossed over the shoulder. As he levitates his hands brutally in the air, green flames explode from all sides and the name Keith Jaxx appears on the screen in red blood before being destructed by the flames of loneliness. The chorus of "Lonely World" is now playing loudly on the PA system as The Masked Truth makes his way to the ring.

 

TZ: This is one impressive entrance. I tell you, this guy is not someone you would want to mess with.

 

PH: Neither is Keith. You certainly don't want to be messing with him!

 

He enters the ring and stands in the middle, raising his hands slowly in the air, slowly, slowly...until he lowers them quickly, four green flames exploding from the four turnbuckles before settling down with the lights coming back to the arena.

 

Not until the music stops are the fans' boos heard. These boos turn into cheers as soon as they hear "Wils Boys" by Duran Duran starts playing.

 

Keith Jaxx goes out, his US title in hand, waearing a SEX T-Shirt before taking it off in one of the most perverted ways to take off a shirt.

 

TC: And his opponent, from Quahog Rhodes Island, weighting in at 204 lbs, he is the United States Champion Wild Boy Keith Jaxx.

 

Jaxx sprints down the ring wasting no time.

 

The referee Brian Hebner has a word with both wrestlers before ringing the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Keith Jaxx starts strolling around the ring showing his body to amused fans in the most pervert way ever seen on television. (Program Rated R)

 

Avenger, sick of The Sausage Jockey, quickly puts an end to this with a running clotheline to his head. Jaxx gets up really fast but is met with a big boot to the face.

 

PH: Avenger is not losing any time like Jaxx is.

 

The Soul Behind The Mask grabs Jaxx by the head and tries to get him up on his feet. The later escapes from under the former's legs and delivers a slap to the ass of his opponent who jumps in chock.

 

TZ: Since Avenger has lived all his life on the streets with no sexual education, this match might turn out to be one of those lessons for him.

 

PH: Imagine that! Wait Taz, don’t imagine it, it makes me sick!

 

Keith leaves the ring and is chased by TLA, the match turning into a chasing game for 20 good seconds, before Jaxx enters the ring, bounces on the ropes and nails TLA with a kick from the bottom rope to the face, knocking him on the announcers' table.

 

TZ: That's a smart dick...euh... I mean kick by Jaxx. He is beginning to turn the match into his favor.

 

Jaxx climbs the turnbuckle and flies high in the with a jumping spin kick landing on the face of The Lonely Avenger who falls heavily on the floor.

 

PH: This is one risky move to perform from up there to down here.

 

Jaxx takes TLA and roles him back to the ring. He is looking to put him in the corner, but he is met with a kick to the guts.

 

TZ: Avenger may be turning the tables here.

 

The Punishing Horror bounces on the ropes and...

 

PH: The Guillotine to the head of Jaxx, taking him down to the matt.

 

Avenger goes for the cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

TH...

 

Wild Boy kicks out.

 

Avenger climbs the turnbuckle and waits for the Sausage Jockey to wake up. As soon as Jaxx gets on his knees, The Lonely Avenger performs From The Top Of The Green Hell.

 

TZ: But wait, Jaxx counters out of nowhere with a drop kick, taking Avenger out of the ring, before falling down himself.

 

The referee starts a count, not sure if he is counting Avenger outside the ring or the first to get to his feet.

 

1

 

2

 

3

 

TLA shows some movement towards the ring as he crawls towards it. Jaxx at his turn crawls to the ropes to use them as leverage.

 

4

 

5

 

6

 

Avenger enters the ring at the same time as Wild Boy gets up. The former loses not time and charges at the later with a spear, yet Jaxx moves away.

 

TZ: TLA hits the ropes with his neck and is now settling on the second rope having troubles breathing.

 

Jaxx, not wasting any time, runs to the opposite rope and on Avengers head, using him as a horse to play the queer on.

 

Loneliness Itself feels disgust from what is happening and stands up brutally, Jaxx falling on his back.

 

The Lonely Avenger goes for the ropes ready to perform his finisher, The Lonely Splash.

 

PH: Who's that running down the ramp?

 

TZ: I don't know...oh no! It's Twiggie. Twiggie is trying to interfere in this match!

 

Twiggie rushes down to the ring and climbs the outside before pushing TLA down from the top rope, his head being knocked down on the barrier.

 

The referee rings the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

TC: The winner of this match by Disqualification, The Lonely Avenger!

 

Twiggie gets in the ring while Jaxx is up on his feet, not knowing what just happened. Both men look each others in the eye, a look of hatred and anger.

 

Silence...Silence...Silence...

 

 

 

TZ: But wait a minute! Who is that running to the ring right now?

 

PH: It's Shane Cross. Shane Cross wants a piece of Jaxx too.

 

Shane enters the ring, exchange a look with Twiggie and get closer to the champion. He is stuck in the corner as a two on one brawl starts in the ring.

 

PH: Jaxx is taking a lot of beating here.

 

TZ: What is happening over here? It's Black Dragon now coming to the ring. What side will he be on?

 

Black Dragon doesn't lose time and delivers the champion from Cross and Twigie's hands, throwing Twiggie out of the ring and nails Shane with a DDT. Black Dragon goes to see if Jaxx is alright, gets him up to his feet...

 

PH: Oh my God! BDRG just hit Wild Boy with a clotheline too. He wants that championship too I guess.

 

Out of nowhere from the crowd comes to the ring Tom Trash with a trash can, heading straight towards Black Dragon, and delivering a Trashattack right in the face of his opponent.

 

TZ: Twiggie, Cross, Dragon, Trash...who's next now?

 

PH: I think if you look down the ramp you would find an answer to your question.

 

Tiffany and C2K are running down to the ring, not clear if running together or racing to the ring.

 

TZ: Where the hell have these two been all these months? We haven't seen them for ages. But as soon as someone offers a free title shot, they hurry to grab the title? That's just low.

 

Both of them enter the ring, Tifanny charging at Trash but her over enthusiasm gives Trash an easy chance to throw her out of the ring with the same speed she entered the ring with. Trash turns around to see C2K hitting him with a big boot.

 

PH: The number is eight right now. Any other contestants?

 

TZ: Why don't you ask Michael Howel The Third and see if he would like to enter. He's coming this way at the end.

 

MHIII enters the ring and hits C2K with a suplex.

 

TZ: We're down to nine. Want to have a guess at who our tenth person will be? Because it is sure that someone will show up as the tenth person in this match.

 

???: All of you stop it.

 

Everybody looks at the TWOtron and see Philip Martin Atkens.

 

TZ: NO WAY PAUL! There is no way!

 

PMA: Since everyone here is so happy and entusiasthic about having a shot at Jaxx and at his title, I thought: they are doing it, then why shouldn't I? Yes, why shouldn't I? And I found the perfect answer for it: I should.

 

Everyone who interfered in the match is now standing in the ring looking at the TWOtron including The Sausage Jockey.

 

PMA: I will take my title shot at Survivor Series since Jaxx is giving that away for free. All of you want that too but you are not going to get it because I will beat you all and become the new United States Champion.

 

Atkens finishes his word and leaves the TWOtron. Everyone in the ring are bemused by what just happened.

 

TZ: How can he claim the shot! he can't be in any match. i don't think he has any right to do that!

 

PH: Never mind him! Look at that. Jaxx is being attacked by all eight wrestlers in the ring.

 

TZ: The Lonely Avenger is back in the ring and is making his way through the mass of wrestlers in front of him.

 

TLA delivers a clotheline from hell to C2K, to continue on with Tifanny by throwing her out of the ring for the second time this evening. Trash tries to hit him with his trash can but he is met with a big boot, the trash can bouncing in his face and taking him down.

 

PH: Avenger is just filled with anger from what is happening seeing the power he is putting in beating everyone up.

 

TLA continues with Black Dragon who finds himself in a Meeting With Horror. Michael Howel III tries to punch Avenger but is taking up and down with the speed of a lightning in a chokeslam.

 

All that is left in the ring is The Lonely Avenger in one corner, Shane Cross in a second, Twiggie in a third and Jaxx in a fourth corner. They all look at each others and are ready to continue the brawl, but Shane Cross and Twiggie decide to leave the ring, leaving this issue to be settled at Survivor Series.

 

TZ: This was not what we expected from this match. We are still not sure if all of those people are taking a shot at the title at Survivor Series.

 

PH: Jaxx did offer a shot to anyone in the locker room and he did not limit it to one person.

 

TZ: So what does it mean right now?

 

PH: I think it means Jaxx and The Lonely Avenger, the legal number one contender, will find themselves with 8 other men...and woman... in a ten men elimination match for the United States Title.

 

TZ: What the f***! Jaxx is in deep troubles, so is Avenger. They really are.

 

Cut to another promo of Vinnie Vengeance doing his role as a convict in "The Last Castle".

Edited by han89
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Back from Film Promo and DVD promo showing Deuce Bigalo Lebanese Gigalo to be available on DVD for a bargain 24 cents.

 

We step into the office of The Future, TWOstars owner Darkstar is perched on the end of his desk, tutting and shaking his head as he reviews fottage of Akten's antics and the mass brawl.

 

DS: (to no one inparticular) I swear his medication is going to his head. In fact that SOB is lucky that I like that idea otherwise I'd be straight onto the network to have him forcibly removed from this arena

 

Trash (coming into view): I'm glad you like it boss, because on Sunday, in Detroit Michigan I WILL be reclaiming my United States title

 

DS: That's good to hear Tom, it seems that you seem to be straightening yourself out

 

TT: Damn straight boss, I heard you were looking to recruit from some guys on the road so I knew it was time to put my house in order, to keep my place on the team

 

VOICE: Keep your meal ticket more like

 

The crowd cheer as their favourite, Evil gringo steps into view, straight away he is surrounded by all three Future members

 

TT: What the hell do you think your doing here, (looks down at Gringo then back up, clearing not taking into account the Mexicutioner's height advantage) Hombre?

 

EG: (coughs) Steady there Jim Bean, I came here with a proposal for your boss, not his court jester

 

Trash gets in the former champ's face before being pushed out of the picture by TWOstars World Heavyweight Champion, The Incredible Holt

 

The two men stand, eyes locked into each other, a cold calculating stare from the champ, looking down at his former team mate

 

DS: What do you want Pingu? Shouldn't you be preparing for our match in what less than five minutes

 

Gringo's complexion relaxes as he looks to Darkstar.

 

EG: Well Paul, its simple. As we ll know, Sunday sees the start of the new Gringo order, as the Gringo army rises up and reclaims the gold for a second time. But in case you hadn't forgotten when I signed my contract for No Mercy there was a clear, a very clear (glares at DS) addition that was included. That condition was that if I was not pinned or made to submit at No Mercy I would have the choosing of the stipulation when I claimed my rematch

 

The crowd cheer in anticipation of something big

 

DS: What's your point? What's it going to be? A Burrito on a Pole match? (Trash laughs with the boss) We can't put your little bint on the line in a title match can we, the gold is far to valuable (Gringo lunges forward before Holt imposes himself into the path of the sensation) So Pingu, I'm intrigued, what could you possible want this stipulation of yours to be, like it will have any bearing on the result

 

DS scoffs with laughter before the camera pans back to Gringo, seeming with anger

 

EG: BINT! BURRITO! Hell I was going to make it interesting, now I'm going to make it impossible for this lump of silent retardedness to retain (Holt is this time held back by both Darkstar and Trash) That's right big man, you tuned in up there? Good, becasue on Sunday at Survivor Series we'll be having ourselves an elimination match.

 

The crowd cheers as a tradition of Survivor Series is brought to the fore.

 

EG: Oh but not just any elimination match Mr Jolly Green Gigantico, oh no. It will be survival of the fittest as this match will be an IRON MAN ELIMINATION MATCH

 

The crowd erupt as Holt steams with anger, his struggling colleagues trying to hold him back

 

EG: See you in the ring, Chico

 

Gringo about turns and heads out of the office as Trash and Darkstar try and calm down the Heavyweight Champion.

 

Cut to DTTAH Promo

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The camera cuts to a darkened room where a solitary figure casts a shadow across the camera.

 

He steps forward, sledgehammer in one hand, tag belt in the other, the crowd cheer as The Judge begins to speak

 

The Judge: Jordi Warner…..I have had it, I have had it with you in this company, your very presence is a suffocating factor to which I cannot tolerate anymore. I have overcome your attacks your deceit your mind games and your treachery, and now I am going to end you. Your demise will begin this Sunday, when my team of The Judge, SEX and Jimmy Redman utterly crush the feeble collection of fools that is you, The Dark Alliance and Twiggie. But just when you think you have had the chance to recover from your destined humiliation at Survivor Series, then the real fun and games begins, because next week straight after you fail to survive…right here on Xtreme TV, it is going to be you, Jordi Warner versus me, The Judge, in a no holds barred match…(laughs) but wait I have one more exhibit to present, before I lay down my sentence. Because this is going to be the end….yes THE END of you as in this match I will not only break your body I will break your career…..in this No Holds Barred RETIREMENT match!!!!!! (laughs) and that is final… See you Sunday

 

Cut to Survivor Series video

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TWO Stars returns from the Survivor Series video and the camera is on the parking lot when a huge stretch limo pulls up into the arena, the camera heads all the way down it and waits as the driver makes the walk up the length of it.

 

Taz: Well Some ones arriving late Paul.

 

Heyman: That's the best way to arrive Taz.

 

The driver is now at the door and opens it up and out steps Deadman to a huge chorus of boos from the capacity crowd.

 

Taz: He's here!

 

Heyman: He sure is Taz and this has got to be about that deal made between Darkstar and Deadman last Thursday night here on Xtreme TV.

 

Deadman looks around the outers of the building and looks disgusted but soon begins to walk straight into the arena as numerous works and wrestlers watch on.

 

Taz: He's here Ladies and Gentlemen and everyone is watching him. What the hell is he here for? I guess we are going to found out later tonight!

 

The scene fades to commercials as Deadman walks further into the arena.

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