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TWOstars Xtreme TV 38 - November 10th


Christof
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The following program is a post watershed production, it will contain scenes and storylines not suitable for children and some of the content may also be unacceptable to other viewers. This program may also contain strobe lighting effects.

 

'Carve me an Edge' by Fake Ideal starts to play as the XTV opening video plays. Images are displayed throughout the title sequence:

 

Draven Cage locking in the noose

The Judge charging down the ramp, sledgehammer in hand

The Million Dollar Man Chris Eagles counting a fist full of greenbacks

Tom Trash trashcanning another victim

Barry Gower leaving Fill for dead

The Dark Alliance being revealed

Keith Jaxx and Rico oiling TIH

TWO sprayed over a purple Ford Focus

Violent Vinnie Vengeance climbing the cage

PMA with a nutshot

Arkham dressed as Animal

The return of Jordi Warner

Twiggie holding aloft the MWA title

Tiffany raising the arms of The Judge and Jordi Warner

The leg drop of doom from Hulkstermark

The Lonely Avenger in striking the arena into Green Hell

Mills wearing his new attire

Redman returning

Evil Gringo with his mamacita

Deadman returning at no Mercy

Keith Jaxx eating bananas

Darkstar, dressed for business

Dante standing proud, Battle Royal winner

The Incredible Holt standing over Gringo and Gower, raising his title high above his head

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/Andy_Telford/explosionident2ud.gif

 

Backstage straightaway and the crowd jeer as the much loved figure of The Incredible Holt is shown walking into the loading area.

 

Out of shot

 

Voice: Woah woah woah, hold up there

 

The Los Angeles locals erupt as the Mexicutioner, Evil Gringo steps into shot

 

Holt looks down at Gringo as the camera turns to show some kind of barricade being manned by Gringo and some Mexican looking fellas

 

EG: Now Green Giant, I hate to ask, I mean I know homes that we aren’t like Burrito buddies anymore but this here is a barricade to stop the infidels from invading TWOstars.

 

More crowd cheering can be heard as Gringo proudly displays his TWOstars T Shirt

 

The champ again looks at Gringo up and down, noticing the baseball bat in the former World Champion’s hand

 

EG: So what do you say Ola le Giganto? You with us? Are you with your TWOstars hombres fighting the cause, fighting for justice?

 

Holt grins slightly at Gringo before unclipping his title belt and holding it high above Gringo before pointing out the initials T-W-O.

 

The Mexican Sensation looks bemused but steps aside to allow the Silent Destroyer past

 

EG: That’s it homes, TWO to the core

 

Cut to card for tonight run down.

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Back from card run down.

 

In the middle of the ring stands Dante, the head of the Assassin held high as the crowds cheer the new Number 1 contender. Dante slowly moves from one corner of the ring to the other as his music blares out from over the arena speakers.

 

 

PH: There he is Taz, TWOStars most wasted project, a man obsessed with blood and pain, and yet all he does is play up to the simpletons obsessed with 'honour' and 'fair play', well tough titties really as at Survivor Series Dante will be facing The Incredible, The KING Holt!

 

Taz: Hey, I wouldnt put down Dante Paul.

 

As the music stops the crowds cheering intensifies futher!

 

PH: Listen to the sheep, screaming cheers for the victory of their Blood God.

 

Taz: Woah Paul E, you should start thinking about decaff!

 

As the noise from the fans lessens Dante raises the mic in his hand and starts to speak.

 

Dante: Holy Jeeeeeeeeesus! I'm on my way to the MAIN EVENT of Survivor Series!

 

The fans burst into cheers again at Dantes obvious enthusiasm.

 

PH: So much for 'quiet and mysterious' Dante. Hes like a teenager getting his first feel at second base.

 

Taz: Well how would you know Paul?

 

Dante: In an over the top rope Battle Royal I last eliminated Sickness to get this shot and by God I deserve it! And do you know whats the best? The be....................

 

'Down with the Sickness' starts to fill the arena as the crowds explode into booing!

 

PH: Now THIS is more like it Taz, a REAL fighter and man of the people.

 

Boyo and Sickness step out from behind the curtain, Boyo dressed for buisness and holding a microphone while Sickness is holding a Barbie doll.

 

Boyo: Be so kind as to cut the music please John. thank you very much.

 

As the music stops Boyo smiles and looks around at the assembled fans.

 

Boyo: Really Mr Star, is this REALLY the best crowd we can pull these days? Mind you I supouse without having advertised Mr Sickness as in action all you could get in were these stereotypically bucktoothed morons. ooooh, thats right boo Mr Boyo going for the cheap heat! You scum arent worth me using any better lines isnt that right Mr Sickness?

 

Sickness just looks up in confusion, the doll hanging from his mouth by its hair.

 

Boyo: Now Mr Mueller I'm here with a simple proposition for you. Sickness here was unfairly eliminated last week by you, your actions were at best despicable and your performance even worse. So, in order to ensure the fans the best possible show you should stand out and let Mr Sickness take over your number one contendership.

 

The crowds boo the brash words of Boyo, some smark tries to start a 'Boyo loves Patterson' chant, but not enough people get the reference to continue the chant.

 

PH: Yes yes YES!

 

Taz: Thats not fair, Dante has beaten Sickness time and time again.

 

Dante: You want my shot? Come and take it from me!

 

The Dark Alliance start marching towards the ring when suddenly lights in the arena dim, dry ice seeps out from the entranceway and the ramp is bathed in eerie, deep blue light.

 

PH: Oh no, not HIM!

 

http://img318.imageshack.us/img318/2131/radioactive4sh.gif

 

Banner steps out onto the entrance ramp, head bowed and covered by the hood of his blue and red boxing robe. He slowly spins around, arms outstretched, to reveal that the back of the garment is emblazoned with his symbol. Banner removes a microphone from one of the pockets of his robe. the lights slowly go back to normal.

 

BB: What the hell makes you have the right for this shot? Oh dont tell me, you have 'something to prove'? Dear God ladies grow some will ya? You have NO right to demand anything, its me, the BRUTAL Brett Banner that deserves another chance. Have you seen how the internet dirt sheets labled me? 'Added to make up the numbers' is what they said about me and the Elimination Chamber at Summerslam. Do you know whay thast funny? becouse at least I got that chance, I didnt see either of you in there.

 

Boyo: Mr Banner, let me get this clear......you belive that by virtue of being hairy and a loser you should get a chance tonight?

 

BB: Hey, pretty funny for someone with a subscription to the goat lovers guide Boyo.

 

At this Sickness launches himself at banner. As the two men brawl in the aisle yet ANOTHER man makes himself known!

 

DS: STOP THIS NOW!

 

Quickly Boyo seperates Sickness away from The Brutal One.

 

DS: You want a chance? Well fine, tonight its Sickness and Brett Banner in a special Two Man Over the Top Battle Royal for a chance to become number one contender as well!

 

The fans E-****ing-rupt at this announcement.

 

PH: Hahahah, Darkstar is smart Taz, Holt never loses in any singles match with more than one opponant. He knows to let evryone else wear themselves out and he steps in and clears up the pieces. Brilliant.

 

Taz: Damn, its time for a break. We'll be right back after these messages!

 

Cut to adverts.

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Back from adverts we see Twiggie entering the arena. He is no longer carrying the MWA title, but has found himself a new belt, and wears it slung over his shoulder. He spots Gingos barricade and immediately a panicked look strikes his face. As nonchalant as he can manage (which isn't at all) he reaches into his pockets and eats the contents of a plastic bag. Tossing is aside he strolls up to the barricade and Gringo.

 

Gringo: Hold up ese. before you get in tonight, I gots to know something. You're hardcore, but are you TOWstars at that core?

 

With a sigh of relief Twiggie realizes that The Evil Gringo isn't interested in the dirty hippy's recreational indulgences.

 

Twiggie: Ohhh.... Hell yeah! I don't know who this Deadman guy thinks he is, but who died and made him leader of the fed, huh!? I mean, the disrespect he showed Mr. Star after all that I'm sure he did for the guy. Deadman probably wouldn't be where he is today if it weren't for Darkstar.

 

Gringo: Okay, okay, just shut up pinche loco. Get on inside and have your match.

 

Twiggie begins to pass, but is distracted by the shinyness of his belt.

 

Twiggie: Hey! Do you like my new title? I did away with that barbaric leather, and the strap is a polyurethane blend. The metals are also recycled from old unused title belts as well!

 

Twiggie brandishes his hideous belt for the Gringo to admire. Gringo looks on with indeiferance, but is suddenly sparked with horror. After a moment he slowly raises his fist, but a voice stops him.

 

Voice: Baby, I know you aren't scheduled to have a match, but could we "warm up" anyways?

 

Gringo lowers his fist, and cradles his mamcita's hips with his hand instead.

 

Gringo: Move on now, idiota!

 

Twiggie scurries past while Gringo gives his full atention to Becki.

 

Gringo: Now, mami, I gotta stay here and make sure no vatos estupidos get in.

 

Becki sighs and bats her eye. As Gringo contemplates a tough decision we fade to a TWOstars shopzone ad.

Edited by Twig
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The scene cuts once again to Evil Gringo standing in front of his barricade. Powerful lights shine onto the blockage, causing the Gringo and his gangster friends to shield their eyes. The lights are revealed to be headlights when a Mercedes Benz convertible rolls into the scene.

 

EG: Oye! turn off the beams essay!

 

The person in the car is seen reaching up and touching something near the steering wheel to cause the lights to die out. The person opens the door, steps out, and walks over to Gringo. Standing face to face with the Mexicutioner, the person can be seen wearing a crisp, black button-up shirt, and matching black socks and shoes. He is also wearing an expensive looking pair of sunglasses.

 

EG: Hey, who are you holmes? Another one of them ERE puntas?

 

Person: No Gringo, I’m not from the Extreme Revolution. Try an get to a TV, or even just come out ringside for my proper introduction. You might learn a thing or two.

 

Gringo at first looks slightly disgusted, but then gives it up.

 

EG: Nah holmes, I can to keep with my ERE watch.

 

Person: Too bad, it would have done you good to see a model promo. Shame.

 

With that the person slightly brushes past Gringo an into the arena. When out of frame he yells.

 

Person: I’ll send a valet out for my car! None of you…people touch it!

I swear if I’m missing my radio I know who to call the cops one!

 

Now Gringo looks offended in the direction of the person, but then turns back around facing the road.

 

EG: That’s one loco hombre.

 

Cut to TWOStars PwN@G3 of the week, Black Dragon and Evil Gringo hitting the Double Shining Wizard on Darkstar during last weeks tag match

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The nigh-on endless stream of endless late arrivals continues as the yellow short-bus rolls into view.

 

Becki: Who is this, Gringo?

 

The crowd cheers as the doors "hiss" open and Arkham steps into view.

 

EG: Tis de loco hombre, he not to worry about.

 

Arkham quickly strides forwards with a huge grin on his face.

 

Arkham: Hullo Mr Gringie, you play fortsies? I like play fortsies.

 

EG: Nah esse, we here to stop the ERE tontos, dey not come in here.

 

Arkham: Me want to stay and play fortsies, but me look for friendses.

 

EG: Your friends, esse? But Retromark no here no more.

 

Arkham: Not only Retrymark, want to see other friendses, me have lots.

 

EG: Whatever you say, hombre.

 

Arkham: Have fun with the fortsies, me go now.

 

Arkham pats Gringo on the head, a little too hard, and the Mexicutioner looks angry, he's about to respond but his Mami stops him.

 

Becki: He's only being friendly Gringo, he's no harm.

 

EG: You right baby, come here for some Mexi-loving.

 

Becki giggles and moves in for a hug and kiss from the ex-Champion as Arkham happily wanders into the building.

 

Cut to a "Please don't try this at home, we can't afford the lawsuits" promo.

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Back from don't try this at home ad, we cut to Gringo in the parking lot. The words, Filmed earlier, appear under the footage.

 

Into the parking lot we see Gringo trying to set up a barricade. An engine is heard roaring, and gradually gets louder. Soon a black Dodge Viper with black tinted windows and license plate LST RDE comes screeching to a hault. The black window rolls down, and Dante is seen inside the car.

 

Dante-Gringo, what are you doing?

 

Gringo-Hey its you. You're that sadistic chico.

 

Dante-Yeah. You haven't answered my question.

 

G-I'm setting up a baracade chico. All the ERE puntos out of our building homes. You ain't seen any have you?

 

D-No, I can't say as I have.

 

G-Keep an eye out will you ese? I don't need any of those idiota's showing up.

 

D-Will do.

 

With that, Dante rolls up his window and jams his foot on the accelerator as the V-10 roars to life again. He dumps the clutch and begins a burn out. After a couple seconds, smoke begins to roll from the rear tires, and the rear end starts to swing around. The back hits the barrier Gringo had set up, and knocks it over. Dante speeds off, and once the smoke clears, Gringo is coughing up a lung with a pissed look on his face.

 

G-Loco *cough* vampire *cough* hombre *cough*....

 

Gringo begins to set up the barricade The Assassin has knocked down, amidst varous coughing fits.

 

Cut to *insert your favorite commercial here*

Edited by Bluestiger99
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Back from the "Green Heels, sold by TLA" advert, we're back live, and in the carpark once more.

 

A yellow cab pulls up and the passenger door swings open, Tom Trash staggers out, almost falls flat on his face but manages to catch himself on the barricade, it wobbles but holds his weight.

 

Trash (in a definite drunken drawl): Gingo, me old mate, come give old Tommy a hug.

 

EG: Hombre, you drunk, should you be here in dis state?

 

Trash: Tis fine - people love ol' Tom Trash, an' you know what? I love you.

 

EG: Wha esse?

 

Trash staggers forwards and wraps his arms around Gringo, he almost misses, but manages to catch hold of the Mexican Sensation.

 

Trash: I love you man, you my besss friend in the whole damn woooorl.

 

EG: You stink man, get way from me.

 

Trash: Damn man, but I looooove you man, you th' besss friend tha' Trash could eva' want, an' Becky she lovely, I love her tooo...

 

Trash suddenly stops, looks down to the side as if mesmerised.

 

Trash: Look, my penny, I've been looking for this penny all day long, I need this penny.

 

Trash staggers away from Gringo, reaches to the floor and picks up something from the floor.

 

Trash: This is my lucky penny.

 

Trash staggers off towards the entrance, misses the door and slams into the wall, he manages on his second try to open the door and enter.

 

Becki: That wasn't a penny, was it?

 

EG: Nah mami, but I not tell him, he find out later.

 

Fade to a match line-up.

Edited by MrFill
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Back from the math line-up.

 

Wild Boys by Duran Duran hits the speakers and the crowd rises to their feet and cheer emphatically.

 

Taz: You know, now that Cole is gone I find myself enjoying Keith Jaxx so much more.

 

Heyman: What? Seriously?

 

Taz: Huh? Uhh … No.

 

Wild Boys fades out and is immediately replaced by Insane in the Brain. The fans cheer even louder than before.

 

Heyman: This is terrible, how can our company shamelessly exploit such a challenged individual.

 

Arkham walks out onto the staging, he smacks the side of his head a couple of times before walking down towards the ring, the crowd cheer as he approaches the ring. As he gets to ringside he uses the ropes to pull himself into the ring, he pulls on the top rope a couple of times as though testing that it's going to hold him and his opponent. He then gives Keith a big dopey grin and even bigger, dopier thumbs up. He climbs into the ring and watches the entranceway with feigned seriousness.

 

The light goes out of the TWO arena as the intro "Lonely World" by Limp Bizkit starts playing.

 

Taz: Now here comes a wrestler. This is a man the fans should be cheering. He's all business.

 

Heyman: And a little bit crazy get-up.

 

A glowing green mask rises from the ground. The Lonely Avenger continues his ascendance, head bowed down, hands crossed over his shoulders, until he arrives to ground level. A few seconds pass before he raises his hands suddenly, green flames growing from both sides as the chorus of Lonely World echoes loudly in the arena. As his hands go down, the flames die while a green circle of light lights the entrance. The Masked Truth walks to the ring and waits by the apron. He stands there while slowly raising his hands, to brutally lower them once they are up. Green flames explode from all four turnbuckles as Arkham freaks out, only to be calmed by Keith. The lights stay off and the arena is bathed in psychedelic swirls.

 

http://img449.imageshack.us/img449/4392/twiggie11aa5so.jpg

 

is displayed in close ups and as a whole across the TWOtron. Jungle Boy recorded by Twiggie's very own band: Bremstrahung Farad is pumped through the speakers of the arena. Twiggie appears at the top of the ramp wheeling his signature recycling bin behind him, his hardcore title hanging over the side. He shouts various things to the fans while waving his free arm angrily. The crowd responds by shouting obscenities, and throwing Styrofoam cups.

 

Chimmel: Weighing in tonight at 196 pounds. He is the self-proclaimed TWOstars Hardcore Champion. He is … Twwwwwwwwwiggie!

 

Haymen: Now nobody ever gave him that belt, you know. Technically he's the Mark Wrestling Alliance Champion.

 

Taz: You just don't get it. The fact that nobody gave it too him makes it all the more hardcore. HE'S HARDCORRRRRRRRRRRE!!

 

Taz's face shakes and grows red as he forces this last part like a turd that won't squeeze out.

 

He reaches out and snatches up a sign from a fan along the ramp. It reads: “Twig for mayor” and shouts at them.

 

Twiggie: You're not helping the cause, you know!

 

He makes his way around the side of the ring. Leaving his bin at the base of the steps he meets up with the Masked Hypnotizer. After a moment of conversation Twiggie ascends the steel steps while motioning for Keith or Arkham to leave the ring. Keith caresses Arkham's chest and twirls his hair, assuring him that it's okay to leave the ring. He gazes at the Lonely Avenger and beckons him into the ring with a come-hither look. Hesitantly, Loneliness Himself climbs into the squared circle. The ref calls for the bell, and it calls back.

 

Taz: And we're officially underway.

 

As The Lonely Avenger storms up to the Chockbox Invader the Sausage Jockey spins around and hits The Punishing Horror with a back kick. The Wild Boy wiggles his butt and springboards off the ropes, only to be caught, spun around, and dropped.

 

Heyman: The Lonely Avenger saved himself with an authoritative backbreaker. And he's following up with some boots to the gut of Jaxx.

 

The Uphill Gardner makes it to his feet amidst a storm of kicks. It's not long before the Quahog native is flung effortlessly to the corner. He's hit with a spear. It's followed by another spear. The Soul Behind the Mask lands a back handspring before running into the corner for a third and final spear.

 

CLANG!

 

Taz: Holy, geeze! Did you see that Paul?

 

Heyman: Yeah, at the last second Jaxx fell from the corner. The Lonely Avenger went shoulder first into the corner, while Jaxx got a face full of crotch.

 

The Sneaky Butcher pushes The Masked Truth out of the corner.

 

Taz: What the? Is he break dancing?

 

Heyman: No, man. That's Capoeria. It's a form of martial arts. And that-!

 

The crowd pops as The Sausage Jockey nails a leg drop.

 

Heyman: Well, you can Sink Your Keith Into That!

 

Jaxx makes a quick tag to Arkham, who smacks the side of his head a few times for good measure before climbing into the ring.

 

Twiggie looks on with frustration as his partner is on the receiving end of an elbow and a leg drop. Twiggie slaps the turnbuckle to let The Lonely Avenger know he wants in, and reaches out for a tag. With a glazed over look in his eyes and a trail of drool from his mouth Arkham picks up Loneliness Himself onto his shoulder.

 

Taz: Yikes! Powerslam. The Lonely Avenger needs to make a tag.

 

Heyman: It's been all downhill since he hit that turnbuckle.

 

Lifted by the straps of his mask, Revenge Itself finds a vertical base. With a dopey grin, Arkham whips The Lonely Avenger into the ropes. As he bounces off he swings up his legs and turns.

 

Taz: Sidewalk slam. Man, Twig's really reachin' for that tag.

 

The Soul Behind the Mask arches his back in pain. He reaches out and crawls on his knees towards Twig's out-stretched arms. The Lonely Avenger dives forward and slaps the palm of the PETA Punisher. Twig's attempts to enter the ring are foiled by the ref, who argues that Twig was not holding the small white string tied to the ring post. The Insane One grabs Revenge Itself and pulls on his mask while punching the temples Of the Big Green Machine.

 

Heyman: Tough break for the Lonely Avenger. Some Shock Therapy from the former tag champion.

 

Taz: Yeah, Twig doesn't seem too happy about it either.

 

In a fit of rage Twiggie feels an immediate desire to recycle. Hopping from the apron he begins to collect paper cups, and other assorted rubbish from the fans at ringside. Meanwhile Arkham whips the Lonely Avenger towards The Chockbox Invader. After a few stiff punches to The Masked Truth's gut Keith decides to tag himself in. The Green Hell native falls to the mat once Arkham nails him with a big haymaker. Arkham steps through the ropes, while Keith simultaneously launches himself over the top rope landing an elbow drop on his opponent.

 

Heyman: The Catapult. This one has to be over!

 

Sure enough Keith goes for the pin.

 

ONE

 

 

Twiggie snatches a fan's sign that reads “Invade My Chockbox!”

 

 

TWO

 

 

Arkham punches his head.

 

 

THRe-

 

Taz: I honestly can't say how the Lonely Avenger manages to lift his shoulder.

 

Heyman: You know better than I what a man can do in the ring. You can even surprise yourself sometimes.

 

The Lonely Avenger lays motionless on the mat while The Sausage Jockey climbs the turnbuckles. He flips forward with some added momentum from his partner.

 

Heyman: Harlem- I mean Jaxx 3000!!!

 

Twiggie looks up as if something is wrong. He fails to see Jaxx going for the pin and moves towards his bin.

 

ONE

 

 

Twiggie lift up the lid to his large green bin.

 

 

 

He fills it with recyclable materials.

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

He looks up to see Jaxx covering an unconscious Avenger.

 

 

Twig slides into the ring as the refs arm fall towards the mat.

 

 

 

 

Arkham slams his fist into his temple and grinds his teeth.

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

Jax slides out of the ring as the dirty hippy brandishes a non-recyclable Styrofoam cup at him. The Insane One and the Uphill Gardner celebrate their victory along the ramp. Tony Chimmel enters the ring while Twiggie bends down over The Lonely Avenger.

 

Tony C: Here are your winners. The team of Keith Jaxx, and Arkham!

 

The Recycling One Snaps his head towards the ring announcer, storms over and snatches up the mic.

 

Twiggie: Shut it TC! You!!

 

Twiggie turns an accusing finger the Lonely Avenger who is up to his knees. Mr. Chimmel clambers out of the ring.

 

Twiggie: What the hell!? I turn my back for one minute and you loose the match!

 

Taz: Well, I think we see who Twiggie blames for his loss tonight.

 

Twiggie: You had to go for that triple spear, huh!? You shouldn't go big if you can't connect! Geeze!

 

The dirty hippy turns his back and throws up his hand.

 

Twiggie: How can I perform, when my partners aren't even on the same level as I am.

 

The Lonely Avenger is on his feet and as Twiggie turn around they are standing toe to toe. The Lonely Avenger slowly lifts his arms above his head. Twiggie backs off anticipating an attack. The Punishing Horror drops his arms and simultaneously four pyros shoot green flames from each turnbuckle. Twiggie cowers momentarily for a moment before regaining his composure. The Masked Hypnotizer is backing his way up the ramp, glaring at Twiggles through his mask.

 

Cut to Omega red selling fat-burning protein-powder.

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We cut to outside of the arena.

 

Gringo is still there with his mami and a muchos massivo barricade.

 

PH: Could it possibly be, another arrival?

 

TAZZ: It looks highly likely Paul!

 

An Italian job style mini, screeches into view…. The number plate is RM 1.

 

Gringo assumes his fighting stance with a heavy two by four in hand….

 

EG: Stand back Mamicita….let Gringo take care of business!

 

The door on the mini flies open and out steps….

 

PH: RETROMARK! RETROMARK IS HERE!

 

The crowd pops big time!

 

TAZZ: I thought he was fired!

 

Gringo looks aghast and just shakes his head.

 

EG: Oh Mi Dios….doesn’t anyone follow stipulations anymore?

 

RM: Hey, Gringo! Ole buddy! Buenos Nachos and all that! Becki……wow…..

 

TAZZ: Nachos?

 

EG: *ahem*

 

RM: Um…..yeah. Sorry. Gringo, dude, friend, evil one….I can come in right? Everyone knows I hate ERE!

 

The crowd pops for the negative ERE comment.

 

EG:….You lost last week in a loser leaves TWO Stars match, amigo. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t let you through mi barricada.

 

RM: Your what?

 

EG: My barricade!

 

RM: Oh. Oh ok.

 

The crowd half boos and half laughs.

 

RM: I’ll be going then……

 

Gringo turns back to adding more stuff to his ‘barricada’

 

RM:….Unless I can get you anything, Mr Gringo? Guacamole? Some Burritos?

 

EG: Qué la cogida?!

RM: Some tequila maybe?

 

EG: Grr….

 

RM: …..some cheese tacos?

 

EG: I am going to count to three…..

 

RM: Er…..Doritos?

 

EG: Uno…..

 

RM: Agua?

 

EG: Dos…..

 

RM: Some tortillas and salsa?

 

EG: Tres!

 

Gringo steps towards Retromark, who falls backwards into his car!

 

The crowd laugh at RM’s mishaps!

 

Gringo puts his arm around his mami and shakes his head in disgust.

 

PH: Gringo isn't just letting anyone through that barrier!

 

TAZZ: Thank god for that!

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We cut back to the arena where we see Gower strolling down the corridor.

 

Voice: Barry!!

 

BG: Grisham.

 

TG: So you got past Gringo withouth a problem then?

 

BG: HAHAHA. Did I get past Gringo without a problem. Well it's funny you ask that and hell as much fun as it would of been to walk up to the 2 cent punk and say hombre move aside. I have to admit it was more fun making an idiot of the management here.

 

TG: What do you mean?

 

BG: What do I mean?

 

TG: Yeah what do you mean?

 

BG: Well there is this little thing called the side Entrance, I mean really anybody could walk in.

 

Gower walks off leaving Grisham with an interesting look on his face.

 

TG: He makes a good point.

 

Cut to a Survivor Series promo.

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Cut to the announce table.

 

PH: Apparently, Mr Gower wasn’t being as sincere about his entrance as he makes out….

 

TAZZ: What do you mean by that?!

 

PH: Some interesting footage has been handed to our production team from security here at the arena…so roll footage!

 

Some grainy CCTV footage is shown on the TWO Tron.

 

Evil Gringo is shown outside, with Becki. A mini pulls up and out steps Retromark…..

 

TAZZ: Hey - this is Retromark getting refused before!

 

At the bottom of the screen, we see Gower crawling past the now distracted Evil Gringo!

 

The crowd laugh loudly!

 

PH: Barry Gower cowardly sneaked into the arena!

 

TAZZ: He thought the Gringo might have confronted him!

 

PH: What a wuss!

 

TAZZ: Well, Gower is a cowardly heel!

 

PH: Kayfabe!

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Continuing at the announce table

 

TAZZ: What's kayfabe?

 

HEYMAN: You know, you used to break it every week by telling Cole he sucks, when in fact, he really does! Let's get back to schedule here, Tazz......Up next we have the first of two championship bouts, featuring a man I’ve always had my eye on; a man whom I believe can keep hold of the Television Title for as long as he sees fit; that man being non other than “Violent” Vinnie Vengeance

 

TAZZ: Hold up, Paul. Wasn’t it just last week you were brown nosing on Chris Eagles? Or was it so far up there you missed the announcement?

 

HEYMAN: I assume you are alluding to the title match set for Survivor Series, Tazz?

 

TAZZ: Correct, Paul

 

HEYMAN: But moving on to tonight……………. Is this right?…………. Volcom?........... Who???

 

Tazz flicks through his papers on the desk

 

TAZZ: Umm………… All I have is that he was once in a band called “Razorburn”, but got booed off stage so decided to wrestle

 

HEYMAN: Let me guess, some punk rock kid?

 

TAZZ: Well we’re about to find out, let’s take it to Tony Chimel for the introductions…

 

The camera reverts to its usual front ring shot

 

The bell rings

 

CHIMEL: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the TWOstars Television Championship!

 

“Live for this” by Hatebreed begins to play inside the Staples Centre. Out comes the 5 foot 10, 180 pounder to what can only be described as a “placid” reaction

 

CHIMEL: Introducing first, the challenger…………… From Cheyenne, weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds………….. Volcom!

 

Volcom poses to the crowd who offer him absolutely no reaction. He acts as if he’s the top babyface in the company as he skips down the ramp and hops up onto the aframe

 

HEYMAN: One hundred and eighty pounds!? Haha! This guy is gonna get destroyed!

 

TAZZ: For once Paul, I’m not going to disagree with you

 

Volcom’s music is promptly replaced with Disturbed hefty opening of “Violence Fetish”

 

CHIMEL: And his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan……. Weighing in at two hundred and ninety five pounds…. He is the current reigning and defending TWOstars Television Champion…………………V…

 

?: Hold it right there, Chimel!

 

A voice interrupts the tubby ring announcer. The camera pans around as Dave Meltzer, Triple V’s Championship Guidance Counsellor, comes marching briskly down the ramp. He is greeted in true fashion by the Los Angeles locals

 

MELTZ: Tony, I hate to be yet another person to interrupt you during you introductions, but I’ve got a few things to say before this punk kid gets his ass handed to him!

 

HEYMAN: I like this guy, Tazz. I really do. If I could describe him in one word, it would have to be “genius”

 

TAZZ: More like irritating

 

Meltzer trundles up the ring steps and ushers Chimel and Volcom

 

MELTZ: First off, kid, I’m not it a giving mood tonight, but seeing as Christmas is fast approaching, I’m giving you the chance to bolt…

 

Volcom looks out towards the crowd, who urge him to stay and fight

 

TAZZ: Look’s like L.A. is right behind Volcom here

 

HEYMAN: You really don’t read a crowd well do you? They only want him to stay to see him get obliterated!!!

 

Volcom tries to act the hard man and shakes his head at Da Meltz

 

MELTZ: Have it your way boy………… But moving on to more important things, since when in the hell does someone get to buy their way to a title shot, huh? Last time I checked, you earn your way to that position! Before Survivor Series, I better get an answer from whoever it was that granted this match… and I know exactly where to start!

 

HEYMAN: Maybe Chris rubbed a magic lantern and was granted a wish?

 

TAZZ: But who’s the damned Genie, Paul!?

 

MELTZ: Either way…………………. Eagles………………. In just over 3 weeks, you walk into the place where this all started…………….

 

The camera zooms in on the agitated face of Da Meltz….

 

MELTZ:…………….. Where the Violence began…………………….. And on November 27th……………. Money will not be able to repair the damage that this man will inflict on your million dollar body…

 

With that, “Violence Fetish” hits the PA system once again in the Staples Center. This time, the Violence Bearer does appear, complete with Television Championship. Vinnie receives mixed reactions. Some boo him, but the majority of the smarter fans just want to see Volcom get pulverised

 

Vengeance powerfully strides down the entrance ramp, taking a hand on the top rope and pulling his two hundred and ninety five pound frame up onto the apron. Meltzer exits as Triple V steps over the top rope, eyes locked on his awaiting prey

 

HEYMAN: Stop clocks at the ready, Tazz! This one could be over before you can say “Ouch”!!!

 

The Television Champion takes a few paces forward and hands the championship over to referee Brian Hebner who presents it to Volcom and the crowd. The challenger begins to clap his hands in an attempt to get the audience behind him, whilst the Violence Bearer stays rooted to the centre of the ring. Volcom begins to speedily circle around the near seven footer……….. Before charging at him…

 

BOOOOOOM

 

TAZZ: And within seconds, Vengeance drops his opponent with a stiff kick to the jaw

 

Triple V brings his already groggy challenger to a vertical base, locking his head underneath the arm in a suplex position. With ease, he lifts him up and drives the prone skull of Volcom to the mat with a crunching Brainbuster. The champion goes straight into a nonchalant cover…

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

 

Before the referee brings down the hand for the three count, the Violence Bearer pulls Volcom’s shoulder from the mat

 

HEYMAN: The champ ain’t done yet

 

TAZZ: Let’s just hope we’re well past watershed

 

HEYMAN: We will be once the network rep steps inside the cage with the World Heavyweight champion later on

 

Vengeance has Volcom by the hair and tries to whip him towards the ramp ropes, with the challenger out on his feet, his legs buckle which sends him crashing to the floor

 

Hebner begins to make the count on Volcom but Da Meltz on the outside doesn’t seem to want any of it, so he hoists the man even smaller than him up onto the a-frame

 

HEYMAN: Meltzer doing his Good Samaritan bit, always nice to see something like that here in TWOstars

 

Triple V calmly strolls towards is prey who is still being held up in a vertical position by his championship guidance counsellor…

 

Once again the Television Champion locks the head and powers Volcom up…

 

…Twisting his opponent until he lies across his broad shoulders, before…

 

BHAAAAAM

 

TAZZ: Circle of Trust! There’s the knock out shot!

 

HEYMAN: As if he wasn’t knocked out already!?

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

 

 

THREE

 

Bell rings

 

CHIMEL: Here is your winner, and still TWOstars Television Champion… Violent… Vinnie… Vengeance!

 

TAZZ: And this one’s done. Triple V retains in resounding fashion…………….. Meltz has the mic now…

 

MELTZ: EAGLES!!! You see that! That 60 seconds right there was just a taste of what you’re walking into at Survivor Series!!!

 

The internet journalist smashes the microphone on the mat outside before reaching under the ring apron and pulling out a table. He sets it up right at the foot of the ramp

 

MELTZ: And now for the finishing touches!

 

He once again throws down the mic and motions for his man to exit the ring. Meltzer slides in as the Violence Bearer steps out over the top rope, taking position half way between table and apron

 

HEYMAN: Looks like Meltz is gonna lay the boot in on Volcom here

 

TAZZ: No need, Paul. The man is lifeless

 

Despite the prone carcass of Volcom sprawled across the mat, Meltzer does indeed lay in a few cheeky kicks to the ribs, before dragging him over and underneath the bottom ropes. With the help of the champ, they prop Volcom up on the a-frame, facing him away from the ring, the table nicely placed just metres in front of him

 

Da Meltz takes a step back

 

 

 

 

 

And boots Volcom in the spine…

 

He goes flying off the apron towards the open arms of Triple V….

 

 

 

 

CRRRRRRAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH!

 

 

HEYMAN: Yes! Yes! Yes! E C (beep) in W!

 

TAZZ: Holy (beep)!!! Vengeance just drove Volcom through that table with No Escape!

 

HEYMAN: He can hit that Swinging Side Slam from anywhere. And one things for sure, the little man didn’t see it coming! If anything like this happens at Survivor Series, the title is staying exactly where it is!

 

As expected EMT’s rush down to tend to the virtually dead Volcom to the sound of “Violence Fetish” blaring out of the PA system inside the Staples. The sadistic smile covers the face of the Violence Bearer

 

TAZZ: Can tonight get anymore unpredictable!? Still another title on the line and Holt and PMA battle out inside the confines of a fifteen foot high steel cage!

 

Cut to commercials

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We're backstage, Arkham and Jaxx are celebrating their earlier win over Twiggie and TLA.

 

Arkham is jumping up and down on the sofa like a little child who has had too much Coca Cola.

 

Arkham: We wonded Keithy, we good team.

 

Keith: You're right there, we do make a good team.

 

Arkham: With no friend here today, we work good.

 

Keith: Why wait for your other friends when you have me behind you?

 

Arkham jumps off of the sofa with a thump.

 

Arkham: Me like having Keithy behind me, makes me happy you watching behind I.

 

Keith: And I enjoy watching your behind. Alllllright.

 

The crowd laughs loudly as Arkham doesn't get the obvious reference.

 

Arkham: We team more often, we work together good.

 

Keith: That's not a bad idea - we need a name - let me think, this is Sports Entertainment.

 

Arkham: It is?

 

Keith: Yes, and I'm definitely extreme, so why not Sports Entertainment Xtreme.

 

Arkham: Me likes that.

 

Keith: That's perfect - so people can come to the arena for Sports Entertainment Xtreme. Allllllllriiiiiiight!

 

The crowd cheers LOUDLY at the new team and their name.

 

Arkham scoops up Jaxx in a large embrace.

 

Arkham: We team now. Me likes.

 

Arkham leaps around the room with Jaxx still in the bearhug, his legs swinging wildly from side to side. The crowd roar with laughter.

 

Fade to a S.E.X. promo.

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Back from the S.E.X. promo we're in The Future's office. Darkstar is sat, well perched on the end of his desk, shaking his head as he watches a replay of Triple V "disposing" of Volcom. TWOstars World Champ The Incredible Holt is reading Novembers TWOstars Magazine, depicting Mickhail Mills as the next big thing - how wrong they were

 

DS: Can you believe this?

 

DS looks at Holt and receives a half assed grunt in reply

 

DS: I mean seriously, I have that idiot blocking the entrance to this damn arena, Deadman trying to fight his way in and now this! What the hell was Meltzer thinking?!? The idiot.

 

Holt looks up, raises and eyeborw and goes back to the magazine

 

DS: Whats more, my damn neck still hurts from Gringo and that rookie of his pulling a fast one on me, that kid is.....

 

The TWOstars owner is interrupted by a crash and a thud as The Disciple doesn't realise how easily the doors open at the Staples Center, spilling himself onto the office floor

 

DS: TOM! Finally!

 

Trash gets to his feet, brushes himself down and picks up his Liquor Mart carrier bag

 

DS: Tom, you ok

 

The former US champ spins around, realising that DS was behind him

 

TT: Hey! Superstar, buffdy how are ya! WHHHEEEEEEEEEY

 

Trash raises a can and falls over the sofa, spill beer over a ticked off looking World Champ

 

TT: Hey! Greenie, did you just spill my beer

 

Trash sniffs Holt and receives a stern look plus a grunt for his troubles

 

DS: Tom, seriously Tom, is that Old Spice I can smell?

 

TT: Nah mate, Baby spice was my favourite, never did like the ginger one

 

Trash laughs, his laughs fall flat as Darkstar approaches

 

DS: Look Tom, I've got an opportunity to prove me wrong for doubting you. Get to the ring now buddy and hand that rookie, Black Dragon the ass kicking he deserves

 

TT: Black Dragon, I'm sure I ordered from the Taste of Raj

 

DS: SERIOUSLY

 

Trash salutes his leader

 

TT: (spluttering) Ok dude, I'm on my way

 

Trash turns, stumbles, picks up the Liquor Mart and makes his way out the door

 

TT: HIS ASS IS TRASSSSOWWWWWWW! SON OF A BITCH!

 

Trash kicks the door frame and falls out of the room

 

Cut to DTTAH promo

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Back from DTTAH

 

We fade back to the arena where “You Don’t See The Signs” and Tom Trash is already in the ring looked bleary eyed and staggering around the ring

 

Tazz: Well there is Tom Trash but something doesn’t seem right

 

PE: No it doesn’t Tazz, Trash appears to be drunk

 

Tazz: Well Tom a former US Champion would certainly have been a worthy opponent for Black Dragon

 

TC: Currently in the ring, from Manchester, England, weighing in at 187 pounds Tom “The Disciple” Trash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Tom’s music stops”

 

The lights fade and "My Friend Of Misery", plays loud out of the speakers, and a green lasers flash on the stage and Black Dragon comes out and on to the stage, he rush to one side and salutes the crowd, and then rushes to the other side to salute the crowd. Black Dragon jogs down the ramp and climbs the top rope, where he lifts his arms and a big explosion goes off above the ring and Black Dragons jumps in the ring, ready for battle, his music stops.

 

TC: And his opponent from San Diego, California, weighing in at 180 pounds Black Dragon

 

PE: Last week Black Dragon made his TWO Stars debut as Gringo’s mystery partner, he made TWO Stars owner Darkstar tap out, tonight we’ll get the chance to see this guy in singles action

 

Tazz: Yes and he would have been put to the test as well Tom Trash a former US Champion

 

Dragon & Trash lock up the start the match; Tom gains the upper hand with a headlock

 

PE: Trash with the headlock slapped on, I wasn’t sure if he could do it in the state he seems to be in

 

Black Dragon pushes out the headlock but Trash knocks him down with a shoulder tackle, he comes back off but Black Dragon leapfrogs his opponent, Trash comes back off the other rope and falls over

 

Tazz: Trash falling over, we’ve seen him on a few benders recently and it looks like he’s not in any condition to wrestle here

 

Black Dragon stops to check on Tom Trash, he asks the referee to stop the match

 

Tazz: Black Dragon obviously wants no part of this; Tom is clearly not in the right frame of mind shall we say to wrestle

 

 

The referee asks Tom Trash if he wants to stop the match, which Trash responds with a no, he then stumbles, and decks Black Dragon with an elbow when he wasn’t looking and begins to stomp him on the mat

 

PE: Look at that, Black Dragon had his eye off the ball and paid for it

 

Tazz: Paul, I think Black Dragon does not want to take advantage of Tom in this state

 

Tom Trash picks up Black Dragon and slams him but instead of capitalizing, he goes to the outside and starts mingling with a female fan

 

PE: Look at this Tazz, Tom stopping the match to flirt with a fan

 

The referee starts counting Tom Trash out

 

1

 

 

2

 

 

3

 

 

4

 

Tazz: I think Black Dragon will happily take a count out so they can get this match over without anything bad happening to Trash

 

5

 

 

6

 

7

 

Tom realises he’s been counted and slides back underneath the bottom rope

 

PE: Tom Trash back in now

 

Trash goes to level Dragon but Dragon is able to block Tom’s right and level him with a left hand and then tries to schoolboy him for the win

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

THR………..

 

Tom kicks out

 

Tazz: Black Dragon trying to end that one early there

 

Tom gets back up but Black Dragon kicks him in the gut and then gives him a snap suplex, then a high leg drop, he then goes to the top

 

PE: I thought you said Black Dragon didn’t want to hurt time Tazz

 

Tazz: I think he just wants to end it as quickly as he can

 

Black Dragon comes off with a moonsault but Tom is able move out the way, with his opponent down, he attempts to stomp but stumbles and falls on his arse

 

Tazz: Come on now the ref needs to step in Tom Trash really isn’t in any condition to be wrestling

 

Black Dragon tries to pin Trash with an Oklahoma roll

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

THR…….

 

Tom kicks out while Black Dragon smacks the mat in frustration

 

PE: Black Dragon unable to keep this man

 

Tom gets back to his knees and screams at Black Dragon to kick him

 

PE: Go on Dragon kick him

 

Tazz: Black Dragon doesn’t really want to hurt Tom here

 

Tom continues to ask Dragon to kick him until finally reluctantly strikes him in the head

 

Tazz: Oh a hard kick

 

Black Dragon goes to pick up Trash but Trash hits him with a low blow

 

Tazz: Wait a minute that was a low blow

 

The referee warns Tom about his conduct, Trash hilariously tries to deny it despite it been in full view of the referee

 

Trash picks up Black Dragon and throws him over the top rope

 

PE: Black Dragon thrown over the top rope, this is a good chance for Tom to get the advantage………….wait a minute what is he doing Tazz?

 

Tazz: Instead of attacking his opponent Tom is dancing in the ring

 

Trash continues to dance in the ring to the delight of the crowd, he forgets about Black Dragon who starts climbing the top rope while this is going on

 

PE: Hey Tom, watch out for Black Dragon

 

Tazz: Dragon appears to be losing patience

 

Tom turns around but is knocked down with a missile drop kick, followed by a standing moon sault for the pin

 

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

THR…………..

 

 

PE: Man Tom kicked out again

 

Tazz: Tell you what Paul, to say he is wasted he has done pretty well for himself

 

PE: He shouldn’t even be there never mind wrestling this long

 

Black Dragon tries to put the Dragon Clutch on but Trash is able to wriggle towards the ropes

 

Tazz: See he’s even fighting out the Dragon Clutch

 

Trash slides out the ring and Black Dragon comes out after him, he begins chasing him around the ring a few times until Tom accidentally runs into the steel steps

 

PE: Oh no Trash has really hurt himself here; he went right into those steel steps

 

Black Dragon decides to roll Tom back in the ring and pin him

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

THRE………………

 

Tom is able to put his foot on the bottom rope further frustrating Black Dragon

 

PE: Ha Ha! Look at Dragon, he can’t even beat a drunk man, some great new comer he is

 

Trash gets back to his feet and starts laughing and saying “you can beat me” at that point an angry Dragon catches an unsuspecting Tom with a back slide

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

THREE

 

Tazz: Look at that Trash not paying attention so Dragon finally ends this mess of a match

 

Black Dragon quickly gets out the ring and has his hand raised by the referee

 

Fink: And the winner is Black Dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

As the referee starts walking back up the aisle, apparently believing the match is still going on Tom runs back up the aisle and tries to throw punches at the referee but misses and falls on his ass, Black Dragon just gives him a puzzled look and starts walking up the aisle

 

Tazz: Dragon just wanting to get out there quickly as possible

 

A bunch of referees help Tom to the back as we fade to a commercial

 

Cut to Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsored Message

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Back from "TIH reading books for preschool children in Africa" promo.

 

The Lonely Avenger is walking in the hallway backstage. An angry look is apparent on his face. Arriving to a door, he pushes it ferociously and crosses it.

 

TZ: What is going on with TLA back there?

 

PH: He must be frustrated for losing the match earlier tonight. How can such a lonely man be much angry?

 

TZ: For the twentieth and last time: FREAKING KAYFABE PAUL!

 

TLA is now throwing everything he can find on the floor: he turns a food table upside down with one hand as food splatters all over the floor. He then breaks the Food Distributor's glass with a brutal kick, shattering it on the ground.

 

PH: That man is demented Tazz. He needs help! Anyone who gets in his way right now will be reduced to pieces.

 

TZ: Is it losing the match or being pinned by Jaxx what is making him madly enraged?

 

The Soul Behind The Mask is now leaning on the wall, banging it with his hands while his head is between his shoulders. He is breathing heavily and quickly, showing his perturbed state of mind.

 

Voice: Lonely Avenger...

 

TLA turns quickly and looks at his caller to see it’s a TWOstars employee who has been sent by Darkstar to unfortunately calm him down.

 

Voice: Just calm down Avenger. There is nothing to be angry about. Everybody loses matches; do you see them do what you are doing right now?

 

The Masked Truth is now fixing the man in his eyes.

 

TZ: Oh oh! I don’t feel about this reigning silence backstage and in the whole bemused and surprised arena.

 

TLA, out of nowhere, grabs the unlucky man from the head and tosses him flying through a door, breaking it before passing out on the ground motionless.

 

PH: Did you see that? Did you see how he chucked that man through that door?

 

TZ: What did he do to him? Well I guess if you want to do the boss's risky work you have to face the risks and take the consequences of confronting this Green Machine.

 

Tod Grisham appears behind The Lonely Avenger, and from at least two meters of fear away, a microphone in hand, he starts talking.

 

TG: Llllll.....Lonnnn....Lonely Avenger...

 

TLA turns his head towards him with a menacing look. Grisham takes one step back.

 

TG: I am not looking for trouble Avenger. All I want is help you by informing us what is making you frantic?

 

The Masked Horror quickly gets hold of Tod's neck who fails to escape the grasp by little.

 

TLA: What was your question again Tod?

 

TG: What is....wwww...what is making y....yo...you act like this? (coughs)

 

TLA: I heard you Tod. So you want to know what is making me enraged! I am going to tell you Tod. Last week, I got screwed by everyone in the ring in the number one contender battle royal for the TWOstars Heavyweight Championship. I was a ridicule weak animal in a forest of beasts. I lost my title shot because I missed the concept of the battle royals: every man for himself and win at any cost! Yet that passed last week which brings us to this week's match.

 

TG: What about it? You lost it fairly to Keith Jaxx!

 

TLA: (still grasping Grisham from the throat) I was being double teamed today by that pervert Jaxx and his mentally disabled friend Arkham. While my partner was collecting trash from the fans, I was taking a beating from two unworthy opponents. While my partner was uninterested in the match, I was handicapped by two sick people.

 

TG: So who are you angry from exactly?

 

TLA: I am pissed off from Twiggie and I will show him who The Lonely Avenger really is someday, but he's not my priority right now.

 

TG: What is your priority at the moment?

 

TLA: One man: our own US champion, Keith Jaxx. This sick pervert has dominated the US title for a while now and I got sick of that. Do we want a pervert like Jaxx to represent our country? NO! This small filthy guy should not hold such a title. He should not even be wrestling; he should be on a stage in some gay club in the city.

 

TG: So what is your next move? Or what is your goal for the next month?

 

TLA: What would be my goal for the next month? It is really simple: I have a title shot won at No Mercy and I am the legal number one contender for that pervert. When the right time comes, I will use that shot and snatch it out from his waist while making of him shreds of lack of manhood.

 

The Lonely Avenger takes the mic from Tod's hand and gets nearer to the camera, for he covers the whole picture.

TLA: This is a clear message for you Jaxx. As much as I am appalled of getting in any slight contact with you, I am frenzied for revenge. I want that title you have and I will take it rightfully. I will take you to the green hells and back and I will clean your soul by my horror. This is the beginning of the end of Wild Boy Keith Jaxx, and Loneliness Itself will put an end to your career, if not your life you sick demented freak. I loathe you as much as I loathe every fan that cheers you up. they are as filthy as you are, full of dirty lives and sins. But I can't care less for those fans: Horror has made you its goal and Horror will get you to the green hells. May my anger be the last of Keith Jaxx, for you will taste my horror and revenge, and I will emerge a champion while you emerge a maggot that shows your true value!

 

The Lonely Avenger is intensely infuriated as he finishes his words: green flames can be seen burning wildly in his eyes!

 

Cut to a commercial of the new VVV sandwich: Chicken Metlz.

Edited by han89
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We return from the VVV sandwich: Chicken Meltz commercials and the cameras are on Paul Heyman and Tazz at ringside.

 

Heyman: Welcome back to Xtreme TV and before we go any further I believe it’s my duty to talk about something that’s been going on here at TWOStars since No Mercy.

 

Tazz: Come on Paul, we’ve been told not to say anything.

 

Heyman: When have I done anything I’ve been told to do Tazz?

 

Tazz: Well that’s true Paul but….

 

Heyman: But nothing Tazz, the fans of TWOStars are not idiots and they have seen that the Owner of the Extreme Revolution has shown his face here on two occasions, once at No Mercy costing Gower the TWO Championship and then last week on Xtreme TV once again attacking Gower.

 

Tazz: and he was thrown straight out of here Paul, he’s not part of this company, he’s nothing to do with TWOStars and he should stay the hell away.

 

Heyman: Well Tazz, that’s your opinion and I respect that but I’ve known Deadman since he was getting into this business and this past weekend I talked to Deadman on the phone and he had something very interesting to say.

 

Tazz: Surprised he didn’t just put it up on that website of his Paul, like he’s done in the past.

 

Heyman just look at Tazz as to say what is your problem and Tazz looks straight back at him.

 

Tazz: What? I’m just saying he’s been doing a lot of talking on there lately.

 

Heyman: I think everyone knows about the website Tazz but not everyone knows this and I’m going to tell everyone now if that’s ok with you.

 

Tazz: Sure, go ahead Paul. Let’s hear what you gotta say.

 

Heyman looks at Tazz again and shakes his head in disbelief before turning back to the camera.

 

Heyman: Why thank you Tazz….. Anyways, I was talking to Deadman this past week and he told me that he’s in negotiations with TWOStars officials and Darkstar himself to let him compete here at TWOStars.

 

Tazz: What? You’re kidding me right?

 

Heyman: No Sir I’m not, Deadman tells me he has unfinished business with Gower and intends to get it sorted and let me tell you something Tazz, when that man gets something like this into his head, you damn sure don’t want to be the guy who pissed him off. So if this goes down and Deadman comes here, I wouldn’t like to be Gower, not one little bit.

 

Tazz: I just can’t believe he could be coming here Paul, he hates this place, he hates this company and he hates our fans.

 

Heyman: I know Tazz and let’s just get things straight here he’s not doing this for TWOStars he’s doing this to get some redemption and believe me he always gets what he wants.

 

Heyman just smiles into the camera as Xtreme TV fades to commercials.

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bback from commercials

 

The beginning of “Touched” starts to play with the voices and a light guitar rift. The arena goes dark, the only light coming from the flashing of red, green, and blue lights flashing on the entrance ramp. Some smoke starts to hover above the ground in front of the entrance. As soon as the drums kick in and the rift gets harder a figure emerges from the back and stands on the entrance stage. All lights go out, then a bright light from behind the figure silhouettes him with both arm down by his side. The light cuts out, then flashes back on to reveal the figure with both arms outstretched. Again darkness, then the main arena lights go on showing a the person from earlier. With all the arena lights on now as the person walks methodically to the ring.

 

TZ: That’s that guy that the Gringo talked to earlier. He’s the newest addition to the TWOStars roster. Pretty snazzy entrance! But who is he?

PH: Well, he’s asking for mic. Hopefully he lets his name slip!

 

The person his in the ring, holding a mic, and is smirking. He still has on his sunglasses, even though indoors.

 

Person: You know, there is hype all around TWOStars. Throughout the Indies, all this prestige has been thrown the way of this federation. So, just to find out for myself, just to see how “great” this place is, I decided to come here. Well, I’m here, and not only am I not impressed, I’m DISGUSTED!

 

PH: See Taz, your giving TWOStars a bad rep!

 

MC: What?

 

PH: I can only guess this guy knows about how much you suck!

 

The crowd, goes from quiet to booing heavily, supporting there beloved fed.

 

TZ: At least the fans aren’t buying into it!

 

Person: I’m disgusted by the figures that represent this company. All of them, from the corrupt owner Darkstar(boos), that untamed monster Holt, the Television champion, the ex-convict Vinnie Vengeance. What kind of TV Champion is a convicted felon? But, the absolutely worst is what is happening to the US Title. Keith Jaxx (the crowd pops for the Wild Boy), you are supposed to be the champion of American rights and morals. Instead, you flagrantly spit on te title representing this great country with your desolate showcases of…sexual[ acts!

 

TZ: He doesn’t like Jaxx

 

PH: Haha

 

The crowd boos heavily again, protesting their liking of the Uphill Gardener. The person looks quite surprised by the support given to Jaxx.

 

PH: Why do these fans embrace a person that is destroying their culture?

 

TZ: It’s a true shame.

 

Person: This is horrible. That man is corrupting not only the iage of the United States, but by somehow gaining your support he is desecrating the whole country! But I won’t stand for this. I am the perfect candidate for the United States title, and that is because I am perfect. I am the perfect American icon, I am the perfect person, and I am the perfect wrestler!

 

TZ: Someone is a little full of themselves.

 

PH: At least he isn’t full of someone else…

 

TZ: Whoa!

 

Person: Jaxx, usually I offer people help. I offer them the once in a lifetime chance to be taken under my wing, to be guided onto the right way. But Jaxx, you needed a guiding light YEARS ago. No, you are too corrupted to help, so instead, I must rid America of you. Just the fact that you stand tall with that title around your waist insults me, and any other self respecting American! Jaxx, I have to beat you, I must eliminate you for the better of those people who acknowledge me as their role model. Keith Jaxx, your days of making a mockery of this great nation are over.

 

The crowd boos some more

 

TZ: Know what, any proud American should support this guy. From what he says, he’s perfect!

 

PH: And that’s the American dream, perfection! Not Uphill Gardening.

 

TZ: Hey, for some it is! Like my former colleague

 

PH: This guy still hasn’t said what his name is!

 

Person: America, TWOStars, my name is Shane Cross, and I am your new Role Model.

 

"Touched" starts to play again as Shane makes his way out of the ring and the show cuts to a Don't Underestimate Midget Boxer promo

Edited by Fidel Cashflow
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As we come back from Don't Underestimate Midget Boxer promo, The camera is on the former TWOstars Champion, The Evil Gringo, As he is still waiting for the ERE to show up

 

(voice over)

Heyman - What a idiot, If the ERE did show up, How is one man doing to stop them ?

 

Taz - Gringo will have a plan Paul

 

Heyman - Well what ?

 

Taz - Well Paul, He will have back up

 

Heyman - It's not as if he has any friends, Well maybe a very drunk Trash

 

Taz - It's not about friends when it comes to ERE, It's about TWOstars as one

 

The camera turns from Gringo to the outside, Where a white stretch limo pulls up with a MDC1MDM gold plated number plate

 

Heyman - I wonder who this is Taz

 

Taz - It's the man who goes one on one with VVV for the TV title at Survivor Series

 

Heyman - Anyway, How can this man be TV champion, He's 30 minutes late

 

Taz - Well he better hurry, His match is soon

 

The door swings up and Ted DiBiase steps out followed by a not so happy Chris Eagles, Eagles storms up to the drivers door, And bangs on the door, Shouting at the driver to open up

 

MDM - Come you little sh*t open the **** door

 

With this the driver opens the door and steps out, Only to be grabbed by Eagles by the neck

 

MDM - How DARE you, Make me Chris Eagles late

 

Driver - I'm ...... Umm........ Sorry

 

MDM - YOUR SORRY

 

Driver - Umm... Yeah

 

MDM - Ha ha, YOUR FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Driver - But, Bu......

 

Ted - You heard the man, Your fired

 

With this the former TWOstars Champion walks over, To where the richest men in TWOstars are standing

 

EG - Hello esse

 

MDM - What do you what ?

 

EG - Just making sure you esse's are with us

 

MDM - With who ?

 

EG - TWOstars fight against ERE

 

MDM - Ha ha, Man we already beat there ass at One Night Stand

 

EG - Well Deadman keeps showing up esse

 

MDM - Let him Barry, WILL break his neck after the hell he put Barry through at ERE

 

EG - So your with us esse ?

 

MDM - I'm with MDC, Pingu

 

Gringo try's to go for Eagles but is hold back by Becki

 

MDM - Oh, And Becki I'm looking for CLEANERS, If you want a part time job, IF you know what I mean

 

The two MDC member walk off as Gringo can be heard saying stuff in Spanish that shouldn't be said on TV

 

But before Eagles turns the corner, Gringo shouts to him

 

EG - Esse, watch what VVV did in his match, Your be worried about Survivor Series

 

Eagles walks away looking back at Gringo with a puzzled look on his face as the camera fades to S.E.X your love it promo

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Back from S.E.X your love it promo

 

 

The camera cuts backstage where Jordi Warner and Tiffany are walking down a corridor.

 

Warner: You know I dont like him, and I damn sure dont trust him.

 

Tiffany: That doesnt matter, just worry about keeping that belt tonight.

 

Warner suddenly stops as The Judge steps into the shot and walks straight up to Warner, the bruises still apparent from his encounter with Sickness.

 

Warner: Howdy partner, wow what happened to you?

 

The Judge: What happened to me? I was going to ask you the same question. Where the hell were you last week? I got my ass beat by the Dark Alliance.

 

Warner: So I am expected watch out for you 24/7. Please, if you cant handle a little action with Sickness then you shouldnt even bother showing up at Survivor Series, let alone tonight.

 

The Judge moves for Warner but is held back by Tiffany.

 

Tiffany: Hey come on, sort this out later, we have a match to get ready for and if you two cant settle it then we might as well forfeit the titles, save yourself the embarrassment.

 

The Judge adjusts the tag belt on his shoulder before nodding, glaring at the smirking Warner.

 

 

Cut to TWO.com ad

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Back from TWO.com ad.

 

 

 

 

Around the ring several referees are spread around the ring ready for the next match.

 

 

PH: I can’t wait for this next match Taz, ‘The Brutal’ Brett Banner gets his ass handed to him on a plate by the monster from the Dark Alliance, the sickest superstar in the federation, Sickness.

 

 

Taz: Sorry Paul, I wasn’t listening. What was that?

 

 

PH: Sometimes I hate having made you famous Peter, I really do.

 

 

TC: ladies and gentlemen the following contest is an over the top rope challenge. The way to eliminate your opponent is to send them over the top rope and for both of their feet to touch the floor outside the ring.

 

 

The lights in the arena dim, dry ice seeps out from the entranceway and the ramp is bathed in eerie, deep blue light. A spinning symbol appears on the TWOTron

http://img318.imageshack.us/img318/2131/radioactive4sh.gif

"Serial Thrilla" by The Prodigy starts to play.

 

TC: Introducing first hailing from Birmingham, England at a weight of 225 pounds, he is the Brutal, Brett Banneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!

 

Banner steps out onto the entrance ramp to a HUGE cheer from the live crowd, head bowed and covered by the hood of his blue and red boxing robe. He slowly spins around, arms outstretched, to reveal that the back of the garment is emblazoned with his symbol.

 

As he makes his way to the ring he shrugs his shoulders and cracks his neck like a boxer as he psyches himself up for his match.

 

He steps up onto the ring apron, pauses, then pulls the hood back to reveal his face.

http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/5883/bbboxingrobe6rf.jpg

Banner climbs into the ring between the top and middle ropes and raises his arms to the screaming fans. Grinning Brett removes his robes and hands it to one of the ringside officials.

 

As the lights go down the music IMMEDIATELY changes to ‘Down with the Sickness’ and the lights drop down to a UV spread.

 

TC: And his opponent, weighing in tonight at 230 pounds he is one half of the Dark Alliance, Sickneeeeeesss.

 

The fans burst into boos as Sickness steps out from the gorilla position, his white T shirt ripped and blood stained as is usual for the monster. Slightly behind him emerges Boyo wearing a kinda cool silver suit with a black shirt (no tie).

 

PH: There we go Taz, Sickness may be three inches shorter than Banner, but he’s 5 pounds heavier, and non of that is fat. Sickness is one of the leanest fighting machines in existence, Banner doesn’t know what hes let himself in for.

 

Taz: Don’t underestimate The Brutal One, he has something to prove here. Remember how much crap has been thrown in his direction. He was ‘just to fill up the numbers’ remember.

 

As The Dark Alliance reach the ring Boyo whispers something in the ear of Sickness and walks over to join the announce desk.

 

Boyo: Why Mr Taz, what an improvement on Mr Cole you have here. Its been a long time Mr Heyman.

 

PH: Mr Boyo, last time I spoke to you was back in the Extreme Revolution I believe. Whatever happened there?

 

Boyo: Mr Sickness over there tried to do to me what hes about to do to Mr Banner over there.

The music fades out as Sickness gets into the ring. As the lights go to normal the two competitors lock up immediately. Sickness quickly boots Banner in the stomach and runs him to the ropes and thrown him over and to the ground!

 

Boyo: And that gentleman is that!

 

Taz: The match hasn’t started yet Mr Boyo.

 

Boyo: Sometimes you can be irritating Mr T.

 

Banner gets to his feet and makes a show of dusting himself off (which gets a few laughs from the nearby fans) before walking across to the timekeeper’s position and ringing the bell, which gets another round of laughs.

Boyo: Mr Banner breaking a rule and taking away the duties of an official, he should be automatically disqualified!

 

The Serial Thrilla slowly makes his way up the steel steps, grinning all the way to the top. Banner climbs back into the ring and walks straight up to Sickness shaking his head. Both men start talking trash at each other.

 

Taz: This should be a great match. Banner makes good use of submission moves and enjoys making his opponents tap out, but Sickness has NEVER been made to tap, not even The Crippler or Barry Gower managed that!

 

Sickness again attempts a kick to the gut of The Brutal One who telegraphs the move and grabs hold of the foot of Sickness and takes him down with a Dragon Whip. Sickness quickly gets to sis feet only to be sent crashing back down from a high drop kick. Again Sickness gets back up to a vertical base only for Banner to catch him in a swift armdrag which The Brutal One follows up into a figure four armbar. The Dark Alliance monster swiftly twists his body on the floor to break the lock before executing a forward roll to his feet and reversing Banners grip into a hammerlock on the Serial Thrilla.

 

PH: ha, Sickness showing Brett Anderson how to really wrestle.

 

Taz: Banner, its Brett Banner.

 

PH: Whatever.

 

Boyo: Don’t be so anal Mr T.

 

Sickness quickly swaps grips and applies a full nelson to The Brutal One, the crowd tense up as the Master of the Full Nelson pops his hips and drags Banner over into a perfect Dragon Suplex.

 

Taz: This match is no pinfalls, why is Sickness bridging?

 

The referee drops to all fours and starts explaining to Sickness that the only way to win is to throw The Brutal One over the top rope, but Sickness refuses to let Banner go!

 

Boyo: Its purely psychological Mr T, Mr Sickness is showing Mr Banner how he would have been pinned and lost in a normal match, much how he threw Mr Banner over the top before the match started. Mr Sickness could win at any time.

 

PH: I LOVE it Mr Boyo.

 

Boyo: One, two, three. Easy as that!

 

As the struggling Banner manages to break out of the bridge Sickness quickly nips up and in one fluid motion drops an elbow on the head of Banner as the Birmingham native tries to get to his feet. The Dark Alliance monster climbs to his feet and drops a second elbow, this time across the face of Brett Banner. Instead of getting up Sickness puts his face over banner and bites his forehead as the fans start to boo the mini monster.

 

Taz: Mr Sickness, ever the savage.

 

Boyo: You’ve got to love his primal instincts Mr T.

 

The camera goes back to Sickness as his gets to his feet, the blood of Banner around his mouth. A shocked (and pissed off) looking Brett Banner slowly gets to a vertical base as Sickness sits on a turn buckle away from the Brutal One. An enraged banner runs at sickness but the Sick One just leaps up and over the charging man. Banner turns around to be met with a hard right hand to his already bleeding forehead. A second shot sends him reeling into the turnbuckle, quickly Sickness manoeuvres himself around Banner and into position for the Diamond Dust.

 

Taz: This is where Sickness made the mistake last week.

 

PH: Why has no one mentioned that Banner has been split open yet?

 

Boyo: It’s a Mr Sickness match Mr Heyman……..what else did you expect to happen?

 

Sickness flips up and over Banner: who stays stood upright! Banner quickly brings his hands up and grabs Sickness in a full nelson of his own and into a HUGE full nelson slam to a cheer from the fans. The Serial Thrilla drags Sickness up to his feet and unleashes a barrage of brutal body shots and stiff forearms to the monster who burst him open. Banner Irish whips Sickness to the ropes and on the rebound hits a stiff clothesline to the neck of his foe. Again Sickness is dragged up to his feet before being put right back down with a bodyslam.

 

PH: This is part of the plan isn’t it Mr Boyo?

 

Boyo: Shut up please Mr Heyman.

 

The Thrilla from Brumilla lifts Sickness to a powerslam position and runs at the ropes ready to throw him over the top. However as they reach the ropes Sickness squirms his body and manages to trip banner and both men roll out underneath the ropes and to the ground outside.

 

Boyo: BANNER HIT FIRST!!!!

 

Taz: But he didn’t go over the top rope Mr Boyo.

 

Boyo: I knew that, I was just testing Mr T.

 

Banner gets to his feet first and grabs the head of Sickness before smashing it into the ringpost with a lot of force. As Sickness slumps to his knees Banner grabs a beer from a fan at ringside before smashing it into the head of The DA monster.

 

Taz: Brett should NOT have done that!

 

Boyo: Mr Sickness hate beer being wasted you know.

 

As a few drops of the spilt beer make it to the mouth of the downed Sickness his face crumples up in anger. Ignoring the kicks being landed by Brett Banner Sickness manages to get to his knees and as Banner pulls back for a big kick Sickness ducks so the shin of the Brutal One collides with the ringpost!

 

PH: Now THAT is extreme.

 

From his knees Sickness launches himself at Banners torso in a spear like movement, taking the taller man to the ground where he is subjected to a barrage of shots to the face and head. The younger Sickness dismounts Banner only to fetch the bell rung by Brett only minutes earlier.

 

Taz: No Paul, THIS is EXTREME!

 

Sickness gets Banner into a sitting position and hits him on the back of the head with the metal bell! A ‘Holy ****’ chant starts up as Sickness takes the bell back to the timekeeper and grins at the terrified man. The camera zooms in on Brett banner as several referees check to see if he is able to continue.

 

Boyo: So much for being ‘brutal’ Mr Banner.

 

Sickness slowly climbs the steel steps and re-enters the ring, all the while cracking his fingers.

 

Taz: Mr Sickness looks in perfect control here Mr Boyo, what’s his secret.

 

Boyo: Repetitive electroshock therapy Mr T.

 

Taz: I wish I knew when you’re kidding Mr Boyo.

 

At ringside Banner slowly gets to his feet, helped along by a referee. Blood is now flowing from both the front and back of Brett’s head! As the Brutal One starts to get back into the ring Sickness looks on in amusement. As the Career Thrilla gets into the ring he doesn’t take his eyes from the smirking face of Sickness, the fans of the smaller man cheering away not distracting Banner at all.

 

Taz: I don’t like the look in Banners eyes now Mr Boyo, he looks unimpressed at what Mr Sickness has brought to the table.

 

Sickness swings at Banner who blocks and responds with a huge right of his own. As Sickness staggers backwards Brett follows up with a second and a third punch until Sickness is sent sprawling over the ropes!!!! Banner quickly turns away and raises his hand in victory.

 

PH: HAHAHA! Idiot, Sickness is skinning the cat!

 

Sure enough Sickness managed to grab hold of the top rope and is slowly pulling himself back up and into the ring. Brett turns around just as Sickness swings again at him, Brett grabs the arm of Sickness and uses his momentum to lift him up and into a

 

Taz: Gammaslam!!!!

 

Brett slowly runs a thumb along his neck in a cut throat motion before lifting sickness to his feet and again running at the ropes with the Sick One before throwing the smaller man over the top.

 

Boyo: HA! Again Mr Sickness showing amazing athleticism by grabbing the ropes. Now just to pull himself back over!

 

As Sickness pulls himself back up Brett taps his head as if to say ‘I’m not stupid’. Not taking his eyes off of Sickness Brett waits until the Sick One has pulled himself up so that his legs are pointing towards the arena ceiling before nailing a picture perfect dropkick to the torso of Sickness and sending the dark Alliance member to a nasty landing on the arena floor!

A *You died mother****er* chant starts up as sickness lays on the floor, officials already tending to the downed man.

 

Boyo: That’s his NECK not his FEET! Come on Sickness is still in this thing!!!

 

As the bell rings ‘Serial Thrilla’ starts to play across the arena.

 

TC: ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner the Brutal Brett Banneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

 

Taz: Damn, time for a break. We will be back right after this.

 

Cut to DTTAH advert.

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Back from yet another DTTAH ad.

 

We see Twiggie and a nameless hippy outside the loading area laying ontop of the rood of a vintage VW micro bus, staring at the stars. The two men pass a poorly rolled cigarette back and forth, as Twiggie does most of the talking. The two look far to calm and relaxed to be in a normal state of mind. They're so out of it in fact they fail to notice the camera man approaching... but let's just call that kayfabe.

 

Twiggie: My match tonight was so terrible, man.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: Yeah, first I get teamed up with this big green weirdo... I mean did you see the way that guy dresses? What is he a burn victim of something?

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: Yeah, I mean the guy can't even tag me in! So in my frustration I need to vent some anger right?

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: And I'm not allowed in the ring, so naturally I start recycling.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: And then the Big Green retard... I'm sorry, that was off color.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: But, still he goes and looses the match.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: And that US champ... Keith Jaxx.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: You remember that civil rights protest last month?

 

Hippy: .... No.

 

Twig: Well you were there, the one supporting gay marriages.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: He was there. Jaxx, I mean. And you know what he was doing?

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: He was there to pick up guys!

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: Yeah! I mean what kind of US champ doesn't take politics seriously!

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: You know what I should do?

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: I should be the new US champ... I could teach all the fans how George Bush is a facist ***hole and how he's slowly trying to turn our country into Nazi Germany.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

The PETA punisher sits upright suddenly.

 

Twig: No, that's a great idea!! I already got some gold around my waist...

 

Twiggie reaches into the sunroof of the bus and emerges with his hardcore title.

 

Twig: I should have some more pull around here with this thing.

 

Hippy: Yeah.

 

Twig: I'm so gonna it!

 

The Recycler stands tall atop the bus, holding his belt in his outstretched arm.

 

Twig: I'm gonna be... the next US champion!

 

The dirty Hippy wobbles and nearly falls off. Twiggie falls on his back maniacally laughing, the nameless hippy soon joins in.

 

(voice over)

 

Taz: Well, looks like Twiggie's set his sights on some more TWOstars gold!

 

Heyman: Okay, 1- The so called "Hardcore title" is not an official TWOstars belt, and 2- Do you really think Twiggie's going to remember his declaration in half and hour... let alone next week?

 

Cut to "this is the third Don't try this at home ad. If you still do, you deserve to break your neck and die." advert.

Edited by Twig
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Back from the "don't try this at home" and we cut to the ring where “All Hail Me” is playing and Warner is standing there awaiting his tag team partner.

 

Heyman: Isn’t that music ironic?

 

Taz: How so, Paul?

 

Heyman: Well I mean really All Hail Me? He has no freakin moves to Hail.

 

Taz: Haha, you make a good point, Paul.

 

Heyman: That’s what I am here for.

 

“All Hail ME” fades out and “Haunted” hits the speakers to some cheers from the crowd.

 

Ding Ding Ding

 

TC: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the TWO Tag Team Championship. Making his way to the ring from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 275lbs he is one half of the tag team champion, The Judge.

 

The Judge slowly walks down the ramp raising his guitar up in the air.

 

TC: And his tag team partner, currently in the ring, weighing in at 241lbs, Jordi Warner!!!

 

Heyman: This is the most bizarre tag team I have ever seen. First of all one doesn’t get an entrance on Television and secondly don’t the champs come out second?

 

Taz: Well we are about to crown new champions anyway so I don’t think it is much of a problem.

 

Heyman: Couldn’t of said it better myself.

 

Entrance: A number of dollar signs appear on the rampway as "Here comes the Money" hits the speakers as DiBiase, Eagles and Gower walk out on to the stage.

TC: And their opponents being accompanied to the ring by “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, weighing in a total combined weight of 572lbs, they are the team of MDM Christopher Eagles and The Future of the Business Barry Gower, The Million Dollar Corporation.

Taz: Gower looks focused as does Christopher Eagles

Gower Eagles and DiBiase taunt the crowd by drawing the dollar sign in the air.

Heyman: Well why wouldn’t they be they have a chance to become the tag team Champions and what can stop them?

Taz: Deadman?

 

Heyman: But there is a barricade at the doors, don’t you remember?

 

Taz: Oh yeah!!

Gower and Eagles climb up into the ring as the referee is giving the tag belts by the champions before he holds them a loft to the crowd.

 

“Here comes the Money” fades out..

 

Heyman: That’s what this match is all about, the Tag Team Gold.

 

 

The referee passes the belts to the outside as Warner and Eagles go to their respective corners with the referee calls for the bell for this match to start.

 

Taz: Looks like we are going to have Gower and The Judge kicking things off here, Paul.

 

Heyman: Yes and I think we are about to crown new tag team champions.

 

Taz: Well with DiBiase down there at ringside I wouldn’t rule anything out.

 

Heyman: You trying to say something there?

 

Taz: Not a thing, Paul.

 

Gower and Judge circle the ring as the both look for an opportunity to take early control of the match. A few seconds of circling take place prior to them locking up with a collar and elbow tie up.

 

Heyman: Does every match start like this or something?

 

Taz: Probably about 70%

 

Heyman: You so made that number up.

 

Taz: Yeah I did actually.

 

Gower switches the hold into a waistlock and takes The Judge down to the canvas where he slaps him about the face before getting back up to his feet.

 

Heyman: Gower just humiliating one half of the Tag Champions.

 

Taz: They do a good enough job of that themselves.

 

Judge gets back up to his feet and charges toward Gower with an attempt at a lariat only for Gower to duck underneath it. Judge continues his momentum and comes back off the ropes running straight into an overhead belly to belly suplex by The Future of the Business.

 

Taz: Text book suplex from the former ERE Intercontinental Champion.

 

Heyman: And he has plenty more where that came from.

 

Gower gets back up to his feet and tags Eagles into the match, which draws some boos from the crowd.

 

Taz: In comes the 2005 addition of the Million Dollar Man.

 

Gower remains in the ring as both he an Eagles help The Judge back up to a vertical base where they then hook the Tag Champ up and hit up with a double vertical suplex, which Eagles then follows up with the lateral press.

 

Heyman: Eagles with the cover!

 

One

 

Heyman: We have new Tag Champs!

 

Two

 

Kick-out as The Judge gets his shoulder up of the canvas.

 

Taz: Not enough Paul.

 

Heyman: Yes but did you notice that Warner made absolutely no effort to get in there to save his partner?

 

Taz: Yes I did.

 

Heyman: That’s why I am certain we will crown new Tag Champs right here tonight.

 

Taz: I think there is a fairly good chance of that happening also.

 

Eagles pulls The Judge back up to his feet and hits him with a forearm uppercut, which knocks him back up against the near ropes. Eagles now grabs the right arm of the enforcer of law and order and whips him across the ring. Judge comes back off the ropes and is on the receiving end of a good old poke to the eye.

 

Heyman: HAHA, shades of Boyo there with that poke to the eye.

 

Taz: What, Boyo is the only one who does pokes to eyes is he?

 

Heyman: Yeah but nobody hits them better.

 

Taz: If you say so.

 

Eagles follows up the poke to the eye by hitting The Judge with a knee to the ribcage before taking him into a front face lock, which he uses to utilise a vertical suplex.

 

Heyman: The Judge on the end of yet another suplex by the Million Dollar Corporation.

 

Taz: I think Judge needs to make that tag already.

 

Heyman: What’s Warner going to do though? He doesn’t know a single wrestling move.

Eagles pulls drags Judge back to a vertical base and whips him back first into the turnbuckle being occupied by Gower.

 

Taz: If I was The Judge that is the position I would not want to be in.

 

Heyman: If I was Judge I would go jump of a …

 

Taz: Easy Paul.

 

Eagles tags Gower back into the ring who upon stepping through the ropes begins laying in a number of stiff kicks to the stomach of the Sid Commadant.

 

Heyman: Gower unleashing hell on The Judge.

 

Gower aggressively pulls The Judge away from the corner and quickly hits him with a vertical suplex. Having kept the grip locked on Gower brings the Enforcer of Law and Order back up to his feet and hits him with a second vertical suplex.

 

Taz: Two suplexes by The Future of the Business.

 

Heyman: And I think we are about to see a third.

 

Gower once again brings The Judge back to a vertical base were he switches the grip into a full nelson, hitting the Tag Champ with a Dragon Suplex, which he keeps bridged for the pin.

 

One

 

 

Two

 

 

Th…, Judge gets his shoulder up off the canvas to a bit of a mixed reaction .

 

Taz: Again The Judge manages to get his shoulder up of the canvas.

 

Heyman: And yet again Warner stand on the apron doing nothing, just like he does when he gets in the ring.

 

Gower gets back to his feet where he once again tags Eagles into the action. The Judge looks to get back to his feet but is instead knocked back down to the canvas curtsey of a running knee to the face by Eagles.

 

Heyman: Million Dollar knee lift compliments of MDM.

 

Taz: And I will bet my house that, that move was taught by DiBiase himself.

 

Heyman: I would say that’s as safe a bet as saying Michael Cole is gay.

 

Eagles moves across the ring and goes down to the mat as he looks for a cover on The Judge.

 

One

 

 

Two

 

Heyman: Yes!

 

Th…, Taz: No! The Judge again gets his shoulder up of the canvas.

 

Heyman: Only a matter of time, Taz.

 

Eagles gets back up to his feet and begins complaining to the referee that it was a slow count. Due to having spent so much time arguing this allows Judge to come around and roll MDM up with a schollboy.

 

Taz: Judge with the schoolboy.

 

One

 

Two

 

Eagles kicks out and both men quickly get back to a vertical base. Eagles comes running toward the Enforcer of Law and Order who enforces nothing but an overhead belly to belly suplex.

 

Taz: An overhead belly to belly suplex, not as good as Gower’s but good none the less.

 

Judge back up to his feet bounces of the ropes where Warner slaps him on the back and the referee indicates that there has been a tag made.

 

Heyman: Blind tag by Warner.

 

Judge comes back off the ropes and drop a knee down onto the head of MDM before looking for the cover.

 

Taz: The Judge doesn’t realise he is not the legal man.

 

Warner pulls The Judge off of Eagles and looks for the pin:

 

One

 

 

Two

 

 

Eagles powers out of the pin prior to getting back up to a vertical base as the referee is explaining to The Judge what happened. Eagles makes a slapping noise with his hand to make it sound like Gower has been tagged in.

 

Taz: There was no tag there.

 

Heyman: Yeah but referees are stupid, Taz, you should know that.

 

Gower comes into the ring as Eagles hits Warner with a stiff kick to the mid section before both men hook him up in the air and hit him with a delayed double brainbuster.

 

Heyman: That’s going to give Warner a sore head.

 

Taz: You’re damn right it is and it won’t even be kind enough to wait until morning that will be sore right now.

 

The referee turns his attention back to the ring and asks if there was a tag to which Gower and Eagles say yes.

 

Taz: Well of course they were going to say yes. Now I see what you mean about the referee being stupid.

 

Judge gets the referees attention to complain and say that there was no tag while with Eagles making his way back to the apron he is pulled of it by Triple V for them to trade blow for blow on the outside.

 

Gower picks Warner back up to his feet before he hears someone taunting him from the crowd. The Future of the Business turns his attention to the crowd with the camera looking.

 

Heyman: It’s Deadman my Gawd how did he get in here?

 

Gower goes over to the turnbuckle to get a closer look at the person in the crowd with the camera also zooming in closer to which we see that it is just a fan dressed up as Deadman.

 

Taz: That’s just a fan, Paul.

 

Heyman: Gower thinks it is Deadman.

 

Warner looks to go over to the corner but is tagged out by Judge who steps through the ropes and then walks over to the corner where he grabs Gower and hits him with a powerbomb of the turnbuckle.

 

Taz: My Gawd what a powermbomb.

 

Heyman: Gower was distracted and DiBiase never seen it as he is trying to help out Eagles.

 

Judge bridges the powerpomb for the pin, which prompts the referee to count:

 

One

 

 

 

Two

 

 

 

Three

 

Ding Ding Ding

 

“Haunted” hits the speakers.

 

TC: Here are your winners and STILL tag team Champions, Jordi Warner and The Judge.

 

Taz: I’m in shock, Paul.

 

Heyman: As am I. Warner did nothing that whole match and The Judge was treated like the Bitch that he is.

 

VVV hits DiBiase with a hard punch that knocks him to the ground before he and Eagles continue their fight up the rampway as we fade to commercials.

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Earlier today

 

We see Gringo getting some stuff in place to block the entrance as the Shaggon Waggon pulls up. The Engine cuts off and a few seconds later Keith Jaxx steps out with the US Title over his shoulder.

 

Jaxx: Alriiiiighht.

 

Gringo: Keith Jaxx, you aren't hiding Deadman in your pants are you?

 

Jaxx: He, he, he. Well he's not Dead anymoooorrreee.

 

Gringo: Excuse me?

 

Jaxx: Want to see my party trick?

 

Gringo: Keep your wand in your pants essa.

 

Jaxx bring out a condom and blows it up before tieing it up, Gringo watches it float of as Jaxx slips on in.

 

Cut back to the announce table.

 

Taz: Well that was earlier today and if Jaxx can slip in that easy what is to stop anyone else?

 

Heyman: Well I hear Jaxx is used to slipping in easy.

 

Taz: Wrong, Paul, just wrong.

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