Y2James Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 On your resume you write "I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be" You call a beer by your name Instead of hugging relatives you give them bear hugs & mandible claws You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesistate to look for the crowd's response You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'm watching RAW" Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake. On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown" After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back You clothesline people in the supermarket for no real reason. You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage/grudge match would settle everything. Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper. Instead of punishing your kids by grounding them, you threaten them with stunners, choke slams & tombstones When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it. You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask. You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone is cheating you turn your head. Your boss fires you and you come back to work and challenge him to a no-holds barred steel-cage wrestling match. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kakarot Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 Nice You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesistate to look for the crowd's response :lol I love that one. Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it Ha. I do that all the time. Moonsaults, elbows, chokeslams. Mines made of glass, and sometimes I have to be physically restrained from powerbombing twhoevers nearest to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyndorf Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage/grudge match would settle everything. :worship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I have some more! You are never "cut" - you are "busted wide open"! You attack your friends from behind with a chair, and look around the room, waiting for crowd reaction. You have wrestling matches with your dog. You Job to your dog. Everytime you walk pass someone lying down, you feel the sudden urge to put them in a Sharpshooter. Everytime you come in contact with a roll of duct tape, you wrap it tightly around your wrist. When someone shakes your hand, you want to follow with a boot to their mid-section and... You no longer call your girlfriend "your girlfiend," she is now your "valet." Everytime your boss tells you do not present the proper corporate image, you want to call him "The dumbest SOB you have ever met," and hit him with a Stunner. You wont enter a room until the lights go out and there is a fireworks display. Quote passages from The Raven every time you meet people. You want four weeks worth of video promos of you shown to anyone before you meet them for the first time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.C. Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 You wont enter a room until the lights go out and there is a fireworks display. My mates and I did this at a work Christmas Party a couple years back. We were sat quite near the entrance and they had these flambeaux (a cloth being blown up by a fan with red and yellow lights underneath making it look like flames) set up either side of the lift doors. I lost count of the number of times one of us got in the lift, went to the ground floor and came back up again just so that we could step out and strike a Booker T pose. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 My mates and I did this at a work Christmas Party a couple years back. We were sat quite near the entrance and they had these flambeaux (a cloth being blown up by a fan with red and yellow lights underneath making it look like flames) set up either side of the lift doors. I lost count of the number of times one of us got in the lift' date=' went to the ground floor and came back up again just so that we could step out and strike a Booker T pose. :)[/quote'] I would have done the same. *sigh* We are sad, sad little people... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trash Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 My mates and I did this at a work Christmas Party a couple years back. We were sat quite near the entrance and they had these flambeaux (a cloth being blown up by a fan with red and yellow lights underneath making it look like flames) set up either side of the lift doors. I lost count of the number of times one of us got in the lift' date=' went to the ground floor and came back up again just so that we could step out and strike a Booker T pose. :)[/quote'] LMAO :lol. AC, you are a legend. You Job to your dog. Ummm... what type of job? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Ummm... what type of job? Steady now... I mean you let him beat you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.C. Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Steady now... I mean you let him beat you! And that's somehow better? :? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y2James Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 And that's somehow better? :? :thumbsup :worship :thumbsup :worship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 And that's somehow better? :? I thought maybe the phrase "job" had been interpreted in some hideous, hideous way with illegal sexual connotations. So yes, him standing on my chest for a three count is a damn site better IMO! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.C. Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I thought maybe the phrase "job" had been interpreted in some hideous' date=' hideous way with illegal sexual connotations.[/quote'] I'm sure the word "Beat" might have similar connotations... :eek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I thought maybe the phrase "job" had been interpreted in some hideous' date=' hideous way with illegal sexual connotations.[/quote'] I'm sure the word "Beat" might have similar connotations... :eek Eeeeeeeeeew. :sick Who do you think I am? Rebecca Loos? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflower Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 And that's somehow better? :? :worship Truly, truly funny!! :worship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 What happens when you watch too much wrestling? You don't shave around your chin from October until late December then go up to people you barely know and say "It wasn't...my...fault!". Er, not that I'd know about that... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y2James Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 What happens when you watch too much wrestling? You don't shave around your chin from October until late December then go up to people you barely know and say "It wasn't...my...fault!". I have been saying that alot but im not to sure about the shaving thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I used talk like Austin when I was in an argument and would talk really fast, and ALWAYS finish with, And that's the bottom line,...Cos I said so! **The shame** And anyone lying down is asking for it *oo-er*. I once was in my room when I stayed with my Mum and had a step-ladder that I used to sit on and chill. One day my mates were in and one of tehm lay accross my bed in a prone position. I couldn't resist and did an Atomic Arabian Facebuster (Course I didn't know what it was at the time) with a ring binder and out him through my bed an dbroke two of his ribs in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kakarot Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I used to share a pretty large room with my brother. He had a normal bed one side of the room. And I had a raised bed that went up to near the roof the other side, with a gap of at least 5 foot in between. I dont think I need to explain any more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trash Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 WS, that was the 1000th post in the Humour Forum. Congratulations. I have the 1001st Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny knoxvill Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I wrestle with my dog and pillows 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the predator Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 when i talk to my mates i hold for a few seconds for the fans to chant my name go into my college class y2j (old) entrance style when i text someone finish it with luv me an my peepulation, or king of the bling bling when im in the bath and waters running down me an i shout(in a JR voice) why god why, his busted open when you call ya college teacher a popcorn fart when some kid from my old school wanted a fight on my mate, i asked when did he get a push when im about to fight someone i ask my mate, am i heel or face 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trash Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I attend and interview and begin with the line "Well let me tell ya something..." I wear the opposing team's shirt at a football game to get cheap heat. I strike a 5 second pose "for the benefit of those with flash photography" when having my picture taken. I go to an unfamiliar town and insult their local sporting hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 When I brush my teeth or drink some water, I spit the water out HHH style. When I got out of bed the other day, I did a Low Ki style look around. After I saw the BraveHHHeart/Flair promo I couldnt stop "whooooooo"-ing 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 You enter a bar and do the Randy Orton fully evolved pose. You whoo constantly, and do the Ric Flair chops on nights out to friends. You oversell when like someone pretends to hit you for a joke. When you wake up some mornings, you do a Kane/Taker sit up. When basically, everything you bloody do revolves around wrestling. I could list so many, infact I do half the things that have already been mentioned here. There is no hope for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trash Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 When you wake up some mornings, you do a Kane/Taker sit up. Heh, I'm guilty of that actually. I'm a sad person. Also when I'm going up the stairs and have about 3-4 left to the top, I do Brock Lesnar's jump thing he does when entering the ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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