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Things i've learnt from the movies


Guest heavenstorm
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Guest heavenstorm

Some facts the movies have told us:

1)All windows in Paris face the Eiffel tower.

2)If your enemy catches you, rather than waste bullets, they will use some other means of killing you (sharks, drowning, laser, etc.)

3)If you need to spy on someone's flat, another flat across the street is always available.

4)Anyone who shows you a picture of their wife and kids during war is going to die.

5)Computers always show the message "enter password login" in green, and never use Windows.

6)You are allowed to take anyone's car on the streets and wreck it.

7)If you're ever difusing a bomb, you'll always pick the right wire.

8)If shot, a man won't even wimper, but will moan if a woman tries to clean the wound.

9)All foreign army officers talk to each other in English.

10)Detectives can only solve a case once suspended from it.

11)Even on the straightest road, you need to turn the steering wheel sometimes.

12)All shopping bags have French bread in them.

13)Sheets are L-shaped so that the woman's side will reach armpit level, but his side only goes up to his waist.

14)Police departments will always make sure you are paired with the person who annoys you the most.

15)If outnumbered in a martial arts fight, the enemies will take you on 1 at a time, while the others wait patiently.

16)To prevent being hurt in an explosion, you must dive forward.

17)Your enemy's base is always in the desert, or on a tropical island.

18)All Americans are born with the ability to save the world.

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Guest heavenstorm

Some more stuff i've learnt from films...

 

19)Only Americans can save the world.

20)People from Britain always have a posh "english" accent.

21)All Russians are communists.

22)You can go without sleep for days on end and still have sharp judgement.

23)Aliens spaceships are always circular.

24)Aliens will try to kill us.

25)There is always a space free in the car park outside wherever you want to enter.

26)In the future, we will all be assigned numbers and pay for things in "credits".

27)Also in the future, everything will be coloured dark.

28)Bombs all have a conveniant time display in red.

29)The death of your wife and kids can turn you into a one man army

30)Given enough time, hackers can hack anything.

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Guest Alliance Mark

19) If it looks like all is lost, just "believe in yourself" and you can overcome any adversity.

 

20) Any female police officer will have joined the force because her dad was also a "cop" but was killed on duty. It's likely that her commanding officer will be her dad's ex-partner.

 

21) Any film that involves Arnie will be crap unless he doesn't have to act (Terminator).

 

22) Most films on Sky Moviemax will be crap.

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Guest Thundara

23) All American cars, no matter how far from anything flammable or explosive, will always blow up when either turned over, or when [insert alchoholic lead role who was either a detective or bent cop name] has finished with it and jumps out/off/through it.

 

24) All machine guns in any film containing extreme violence or just, er, lots of guns, will always have magazines that hold 20 times what a real gun-magazine holds. Hence one cartridge firing for up to 20 minutes.

 

25) Violence and murder only happens at night.

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Guest Alliance Mark

Pets and anyone under 16 never get killed.

 

If you ever find a broken bridge with a 50ft drop, just drive as fast as you can and you'll make it to the other side.

 

The hero/cop never calls for back-up.

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26) British people are posh and like only like a) tea and crumpets or b) fish and chips

28) only a woman can survive in a horror film

29)if a black guy isn't the main character- chances are he's gonna die

29) bad guys are crap at shooting

30) it's alright to cheat on your partner if the person your cheating with is gonna save the world

31) bad guys never win

32) woman are seemingly better at saving the world then men

33) that yazuka (or the other type of mafia) don't really have one of the fingers cut off

34) that men can (rarely) get pregnent

35) babies can telepathicly comuunicate

36) all bad guys that are killed easily are men

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Guest heavenstorm

31)If you are blonde and pretty, you can be a world expert in nuclear physics by the age of 21.

32)Terrorists are always from Germany or the middle east.

33)Detectives always have an ex-wife and 2/3 kids.

34)Enemy bases are rigged to explode 10 minutes after the bad guy dies.

35)Even weapons that don't look like machine guns fire like them.

36)If you are a woman, you are destined to be caught by the bad guy and held as bait.

37)There's always a flight to the place you need to go tomorrow.

38)And if you're late booking for a flight, there are always 1 or 2 seats left.

39)In a haunted house, women should investigate noises in their underwear.

40)Animals will never harm you, except sharks.

41)Androids long to be human.

42)Britain is actually just England.

43)At least one identical twin is evil.

44)All twins are identical.

45)Honest hard working cops are always killed in a gunfight a few days before retirement.

46)It will be at least 6 months before any corruption in the police is noticed.

47)When an aeroplane is hijacked, the pilot is going to be killed.

48)And there's always someone with a heart problem.

49)All aliens are "little green men"

50)Don't bother aiming in a gunfight, you're gonna hit them.

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Guest heavenstorm

I keep going on, don't I?

 

51)Clones can be turned into adults instantly.

52)If you run around at random in a gunfight, you won't be shot.

53)If you're good at martial arts, your arch rival will never send someone with a gun for you.

54)Satellites can see through clouds.

55)There's only one message on your answer machine when you get home, from your girlfriend.

56)When an alien force invades, they conveniantely know where to target.

57)A laptop will stop them.

58)You must be a christian to be a good person.

59)If you start dancing and other people join in, they somehow know the steps.

60)It is impossible for a hacker to die.

61)All American families have a dog.

62)If hostages take over a plane, one person must try to confront them and get shot.

63)Your mentor is destined to die the day before a big event in your life.

64)Shrapnel will never hit you in an explosion

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