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PHIZZLE
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

 

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

 

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

 

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

 

What is the speed of darkness?

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

 

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

 

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

 

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation

 

Can you cry under water?

 

What level of importance must a person have, before

they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we

figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?

.... They're still going to see you naked anyway

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

 

In case its actually the button not quite working.

 

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Becouse they are money grabbing twonks who will get the money somehow!

 

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

Becouse it would take too much effort to count the stars (and too much expensive equipment).

 

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

It needs the contact with air to help it solidify quicker.

 

 

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

 

Thats how they are prepared. Plus the guard may slip and nick himself! He doesnt want to catch anything!

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 

Traditional Western heros dont have facial hair, Tarzan was a product of his times.

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

 

So he can see under it? Or is we are speaking from a real life perspective: so the gun doesnt hit the actor playing Superman.

 

 

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

The helmet will be attatched to the radio for instructions and/or the oxygen mask so the pilot can operate safely until the last second.

 

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

No-ones, language evolved and became what it is today gradually.

 

 

What is the speed of darkness?

 

Nothing, as darkness is mearly an absence of light.

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

 

Well, if you include the trainers/coatches and the families of those taking part in either a competative or official role, then yes!

 

 

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

 

In a box.

 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

 

Zero, in which sense? Degrees celcsius? Or Farenheight?

 

Absloute zero wont get any colder.

 

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

 

We evolved from an ape like creature, so did the other primates.

 

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

 

Helping even more others, if your statement is indeed true.

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

 

Actually I belive that happily married people do live longer! However I cant remember where I read that study.

 

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation

 

No.

 

Can you cry under water?

 

Yes.

 

What level of importance must a person have, before

they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

Well they basicly mean the same thing, the only difference being the target must be politicly chosen (at any level of society or importance).

 

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

 

Brances as an expression means outgrowing from the main. So your local bank is not the 'main office' of that bank.

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

Easier to pack like that, so its delivered in one piece.

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we

figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

 

We didnt. Wheeled suitcases were in use in the 1940's.

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

 

 

A babies sleep is considered to be trouble free. Hence slept like a baby!

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Yes

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

The view is further, and you can see things better from that viewpoint.

 

 

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?

.... They're still going to see you naked anyway

 

 

So no one walks in on you. Plus the privacy makes it easier to get undressed, a basic human desire to not be seen changing! Psychology for you.

 

 

 

Hope I helped! ;)

Edited by Paul
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The biggest "why" for me is "Why do people feel the urge to keep posting this?". No doubt before 2005 is through we'll see this a few more times' date=' and that Peter Kay one might pop up too.[/quote']

 

Actually, thats the first time I've seen it.

Well played Fagan.

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