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Customer Complaint


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Copy and pasted from my original response to this over on ex-rev.com:



I work in a call centre and I love those types of people. You can almost hear their brain cells dying over the phone and envisage them getting one step closer to a heart attack...


It's a competition to keep them on the line and swearing as long as possible sometimes. Other times I'm helpful.


Key tips if you want MC to help you with your claim:


1) No swearing. I don't care if it's just a "Bugger" or even a "Jesus Christ" - MC don't stand for it and he'll let you know.


2) My name during the call is "Mark" or "Mr Collins". If you call me "Pal", "Mate", "Friend", "Duck" or anything else over-familiar I shall remind you of my real name.


3) Do not interrupt. If I am in the middle of telling you something important (I.e.: what is going to happen next with your claim) and you start speaking over me I shall let you finish. Then I will utterly ignore what you said and make a show of trying to remember where I was before starting from the beginning.


4) Should you interrupt again, see 3) but with the addition of telling you that this is the third time I've attempted to tell you this important information.


5) Do not, under any circumstances, ask for my superior. I will be forced to point out that I have a supervisor but whether he/she is my superior is a matter for conjecture. The fact that you managed to use the word superior in the wrong fashion means I can be fairly assured that the word "conjecture" will throw you off balance and I can get on with the job of helping you.


There are probably more but these are all I can think of off the top of my head.


The above only holds true if you're a d!ck to me. If you come on the phone with a nice attitude then I'm the helpfullest guy evaaaar~~~!

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