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Stupid Stuff Done Whilst Under The Influence


Davros
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I've just been reading in the news about this bloke in Australia who'd been fined $750 for chewing the tail off a live mouse in a pub competition, whilst completely trolleyed. :tony

 

He also set off a mouse trap with his tongue, ate a cup of maggots, sucked up chillies through a straw, drunk a pint of anchovies and downed a pint of mouthwash.

 

Now I just wanted to know whats the worst thing you've done whilst under the influence of certain alcoholic beverages. :drinky

 

For me it would have to be firewalking whilst at a festival. I didn't believe people when they told me I'd done it the next day. Though I had wondered why my feet were covered with ash.

 

(For those of you who have not yet sampled the delights of alcohol.....don't its the devils brew :devil and will make you do things you regret the next day )

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Hmm, when I went out with Alex and got really drunk and tried to beat up some guys then trying to hide in a couboard.

and Fell over a bin trying to walk past, only to feel nettles around my ankles so the only thing I could do was fall over the bin :/ I dont know why I did that.

Drinking too much and put on 5stars wrestling gear :/ I dunno why I did that either but Hey I was drunk and it all was funny even tho I did stupid stuff :)

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Hmm, when I went out with Alex and got really drunk and tried to beat up some guys then trying to hide in a couboard.

and Fell over a bin trying to walk past, only to feel nettles around my ankles so the only thing I could do was fall over the bin :/ I dont know why I did that.

Drinking too much and put on 5stars wrestling gear :/ I dunno why I did that either but Hey I was drunk and it all was funny even tho I did stupid stuff :)

 

 

And I was there for one of those :D

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Nothing much has happened to me but I did read about two rednecks from an archery club who decided to get some extra practice in while absolutely trolleyed. To top it all of, one of them had the hilariuos idea of balancing an apple on the others head and, having done so, took aim. Those of a nervous disposition look away now. The well aimed arrow shot straight through the poor sods left eye, deeply embedding itself.
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I wouldn't really say stupid, more like dangerous. About a 10 min walk from my house is a very, very steep and rather high, man made hill. About half way down is a stone path going right the way around the perimetre and at the bottom of the hill is a cycle track which happens to be right next to a busy road. Anyway, one night me and a mate decided to camp up on this hill with his guitar and my drum kit, so we do a music set together (god only knows why), and a 24 crate of Stella. After our set and drinking, rather quickly, our beer we decided to go for a little walk. During this walk we found our old friend....The Shopping Trolly!! Thats right folks, the end to this tale is very predictable and i ended up with a pair of dislocated shoulders and a busted ankle. Ouch.
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This isn't so much stupid, more a dream come true...sure i've told it before.

 

Paisley has a Rangers shop, it used to be across the road from it's current location though. Anyways, they hadn't yet worked out putting a shutter up over the door was a good idea...I actually attribute my actions to them working this out.

 

Anyways, it was winter and I'd just left whatever establishment had the honour of my pressence that evening. The air was clear, the nightsky clear...unlike the smoggy mess in England...and I noticed the shop in the distance, well three of them but I remembered the Gordon Stewart concussion edition of Roy of the Rovers and headed for the middle one. So, I found myself stood in the doorway and noticed the keyhole...the rest involves a part of my anatomy and some liquid state human waste.

 

:)

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Is it safe to say that Kenny's favourite wine is Piat 'Dor? :D

 

Someone's been watching Naked Video! Ah yes.

 

I've not much to report. I think I've said this one before anyway.

 

Mine would probably be from the first time I went to Madrid. I went to the toilet just before my mates and I were due to move elsewhere, they said to meet them and then we'd go somewhere else. Instead of going to the toilet, coming back to mee them and then everyone going out, I went to th toilet and then just went straight out and after not seeing them within about twenty seconds, buggered off to where I though we were going next. Just one problem. I've no sense of where I am and have gone off in the complete opposite direction.

 

I walked around for about forty-five minutes without recognising anything, then thought to call it quits when I saw a taxi. I reached into my pocket for my last bit of money, a 5000 euro note (about twenty quid) and waved at the taxi. Of course, with it being Madrid, some bugger was perfectly placed to see what I was doing, run past and snatch the note from my hand before legging it down the street. I couldn't get the taxi now and was too wasted to chase after the guy who nicked my money. So I carried on walking for about another half hour, realising that at around four thirty in the morning in the middle of nowhere, my chances of getting back weren't very good.

 

Just then, my luck changed. I saw a door slightly ajar which led to an indoor cashpoint. I had no cards on me (otherwise they'd likely have been stolen by then), but the place had a massive windowsill and cameras, so I felt alright about the idea of sleeping there. I crawled onto the windowsill and saw a sheet of newspaper. I thought fantastic, a pillow, before I rested my head on it and went to sleep.

 

I woke up about two hours later. My first thoughts were 'where am I?', 'why does my head really hurt?', 'how come I have bruises on my left wrist?' (the guy who nicked my money had actually grabbed my left wrist to steal the money from me, was the answer to that one), and fnally 'why do I have newsprint down the left side of my face?'. After that came 'how do I get back?', so I set off to try to resolve that one.

 

Asking directions all the way, I arrived at quarter to eight at my hostal. Just when I had promised to wake someone, which I did, in all of my clothes from the night before and with newsprint down one side of my face. 'Cheers', she said, so I thought that that would be the end of it. I went to go to bed. There was absolutely no way I was going to go to work that day, I was due to start at 9:30, but it was nearly eight o'clock by now and I'd not had a good night's sleep to say the least, so bugger that. Come nine o'clock though, the person I woken before was at the door along with the person I was supposed to go to work experience with, 'Come on Steven, you'll be late you know, you have to go to work'. Absolutely BANGING on the door they were. My reponse was an understandable one. 'F**K OFF! F**K OFF! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT GOING!'. They kept saying I had to go, I kept hurling abuse until they left me alone. Yes, I did apologise later but no, I wasn't entirely sorry!

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