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The Wisdom Of Tazz


E2K
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Was home this weekend and was looking through some of my old wrestling magazines. I noticed some really weird and wacky quotes from Tazz - you know, the master of the pointless fact and the statement which doesn't really make any sense. You gotta love Tazz. Anyway, here's a little selection of Tazz's wisdom:

 

"They're both Canadians. I guess they have stuff in common: they're Canadians"

(Smackdown, June 13th 2002)

 

"A 6 and a 9. What's that (equal): 14?"

(Smackdown, September 26th 2002)

 

"A lot of E's in this match: Edge, Eddie, Edge, Eddie . . . . ."

(Smackdown, September 26th 2002)

 

"Where are we? Phoenix . . . . . that's right"

(Smackdown, October 10th 2002)

 

"They speak in French over there in Montreal, Quebec. You know that?"

(Smackdown, October 10th 2002)

 

"It's real funky over there, but I'm excited"

(On the United Kingdom, No Mercy, October 20th 2002)

 

"Oh, Chris Benoit. You know he's got that injured neck that he's recovered from"

(Smackdown, October 24th 2002)

 

"Cole, has the UK area, the neighbourhood the UK as they call it . . . . . have they ever won any gold medals in anything?"

(Rebellion, October 26th 2002)

 

"Zorro: he's a Mexican superhero . . . . . he's like Captain America"

(Smackdown, October 31st 2002)

 

"Jamie Noble's got something up his sleeve here; but he has no shirt, so he has no sleeves"

(Survivor Series, November 17th 2002)

 

"Rikishi, backing that big bum up. Bum means, like, butt. Get it?"

(Smackdown, January 2nd 2003)

 

"Well, Paul Heyman . . . . . he's never won a gold medal. He's never won a silver or a bronze. He's never won anything"

(Smackdown, February 6th 2003)

 

"Big Show playing possum, the biggest possum in the world, possibly . . . . . Big Show, very smart strategy . . . . . and that cattle-like head with that head-butt!"

(Smackdown, October 23rd 2003)

 

"Head-butt with that farm-like head of the Big Show"

"Farm-like?"

"Like animals on a farm. Like donkeys, horses, cows, bisons . . . . . they all have heads. It's a compliment"

(Tazz & Cole, Smackdown, October 30th 2003)

 

 

I especially like the last two :lol

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lmao thats great stuff and i certainly remember some of them, thing is apart from tazz' occasional outburst of stupid stuff the smackdown announce team is boring.

 

What i Propse wwe is (now i hope someonein power at Titan Towers reads this)

 

JR and Tazz on RAW

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler on Smackdown (like the good old days)

 

Now wouldnt that work sooo much better

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lmao thats great stuff and i certainly remember some of them, thing is apart from tazz' occasional outburst of stupid stuff the smackdown announce team is boring.

 

What i Propse wwe is (now i hope someonein power at Titan Towers reads this)

 

JR and Tazz on RAW

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler on Smackdown (like the good old days)

 

Now wouldnt that work sooo much better

Joey Styles on both... :thumbsup

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Stating the obvious seems to be the way forward in colour commentating.

 

Perhaps Tazz should teach Lawler a thing or two.

 

I remember the one about Jamie Noble, I'm pretty sure it was when he was against Kidman, I was in stitches.

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Big Show also is supposed to have a head like a type writer... the mind boggles...

 

I like Tazz, reading Powerslam wouldn't be as fun without reading some of the crap he comes out with... like the steps weighing 300lbs or so and the Big Show's hand being the same size as his (Tazz's) chest...

 

But at least he knows the names of moves...

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