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Shuttle To The Sun


E2K
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This is something that I originally saw in the Simpsons episode about the millenium, where Homer is responsible for the end of the world by failing to make the nuclear plant y2k compliant. He and Bart rush onto this shuttle that they think will bring them to safety, but instead its full of the most annoying people in the world, and its on its way to the sun.

 

So if you had to pick say 10 people, the most annoying people in the world today to be blasted into the sun, who would they be and why? It can be anyone; musicians, actors, tv presenters, politicians, anyone who causes or has caused you severe personal annoyance

(and Jackbibby doesn't count :lol)

 

Here are mine (in no particular order):

 

Louis Walsh (he's unleashed more evil on the world than Satan himself, and he's a smug, arrogant little prick to boot)

 

Davina McCall (if there's a tv show to be presented which will give the presenter maximum exposure, you'll find Davina. Annoying woman, especially when she's doing her little amateur psychologist routine as she interviews the evictees from the Big Brother house. Even her character on Bo Selecta annoys me)

 

Ant (annoying little fart with a forhead like a loaf of bread)

 

Dec (annoying little fart with an average sized forehead. Still annoying though)

 

Julia Roberts (very annoying in every film I've ever seen her in. Hairy arm pits to boot. Need I say more?)

 

Bryan McFadden (Not only was he in Westlife, he was the most annoying one in that band (which says a lot), he cheats on his fiance with a stripper, and his wife used to be one. Furthermore, he's talentless. Need proof? Listen to Ireland's Eurovision song, which he wrote) :roll

 

Angus Deayton (smug, pretentious, ignorant, arrogant, sorely unfunny despite the fact that he REALLY believes that he is. Furthermore, he rips the piss out of everyone, despite the fact that the shameless **** was caught cheating on his wife with a prostitute and snorting cocaine. Git)

:sick

 

George W. Bush (fairly self-explanatory)

 

HHH (fairly self-explanatory)

 

P. Diddy (is his neck massive or is it just that his head is tiny? Either way, he's a stupid-lookin mo-fo, but worse than that, he's a smug, B.I.G.-song-stealin' sumbitch. He also clearly thinks a lot of himself, and that song "Missin' You" was a pile of crap)

 

How bout y'all?

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im shocked E2K shocked :lol

 

1. Dizee Rascal (name says it all-what a jerk)

 

2. Tim Westwood (idiot)

 

3. Sally Webster (shoot the $%£*#! i dont care if she is an actress she annoys me)

 

4. Alistair McGowan (crap)

 

5. Paul Ross (lives off his brothers sucess)

 

6. People on Trisha (Get a life, who cares whos the dad)

 

7. Suge Knight (i truely HATE this piece of scum)

 

8. Graham Norton (i hate his laugh and innuendos)

 

9. Bill Gates (hes a millionaire but is tight)

 

10. Commentator of CZW (SOMEONE CALL 911 SOMEONE CALL 911....says it all)

Edited by Jack
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1. Brock Lesnar- god i hate him

2. Tony blair- see lesnar

3. Kitten from BB5- wouldnt that be fun

4. Gary megson- the enemys boss

5. miriam- turning the world of genders on its head

6. George Forman- his grills had their time, now get away george

7. mike Tyson- the man needs sending somewhere like the sun

8. Gordan Ramsay- go cook in hell

9. Justin from The Darkness- hsi high pitched voice has lead its course

10 remlap, im sure we'd all love to write that wouldnt we

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1. Brock Lesnar- god i hate him

2. Tony blair- see lesnar

3. Kitten from BB5- wouldnt that be fun

4. Gary megson- the enemys boss

5. miriam- turning the world of genders on its head

6. George Forman- his grills had their time, now get away george

7. mike Tyson- the man needs sending somewhere like the sun

8. Gordan Ramsay- go cook in hell

9. Justin from The Darkness- hsi high pitched voice has lead its course

10 remlap, im sure we'd all love to write that wouldnt we

 

I think its really quite sad that you must keep on about me, isnt it weird

 

Sad ****

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1.Kitten from Big Brother.. shes makes me sick. shaved her head to.. i didnt think she could get more vile.

2.Anastacia.. quite simply for that dreadful song.. left outside alone

3.Radiohead members - ill class them all as one person out the 10. dreadful noise they make.

4.Jay Z

5.The guy from Bo Selecta.. Avid Merrion?

6.Edwina Currie is it spelt?

7.Angus Deaton.. how dull is that guy.

8.mike shinoda

9.arnold swharznegger however its spelt

10.brad pitt.. coz then jennifer aniston the worlds sexiest woman will be single again!

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1. Bubble

2. Trisha

3. Kilroy

4. Jade Goody

5. Jordan

6. Will Buckley (Broadsheet footy columnist)

7. George W Bush

8. Micheal Howard

9. Sergei Evseev (Russian fullback who took steroids during Wales vs Russia Euro 2004 playoff, then dived in a match, trying to get Giggs sent off which didn't work, but complained to UEFA afterwards and got Giggs banned)

10. TWO member 'takerlives' - true scumbag.

 

Cheers!

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1)Britney Spears.... plus she'd die even more painfully as her FAKE boobs popped in the heat. :xyx :devil

 

2) Oscar Voters: Uma Thurman should have got Best Female this year... maybe the will make up for it this year though

 

3) George W. Bush: Originality was never my strong point

 

4) Usama Bin Laden: JERK

 

5) Saddam Hussein: DOUBLE JERK

 

6) Jade Goody: ANNOYING

 

7) Simon Cowell: for inflicting the likes of Hear Say, Girls Aloud and Gareth Gates on the world.

 

8) Every Pop Idol/American Idol/Fame Acadamy contestent ever: Do i need to explain?

 

9) Slipknot: see reason above

 

10) Vincent Kennedy McMahon (dammit): For almost single handedly flushing the wrestling biz down the crapper

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Well, I'll start off by looking at The Simpsons' list first. Rosanne, check. Pauly Shore, check. Tom Arnold? Hell no!

 

Maybe it's just me, but Tom Arnold rules. The Stupids is very, very funny for a totally off-the-wall comedy aimed at kids. If you've seen it, you'll know that it's got a Shrek-like quality in that kids and adults can find it very funny at different times. Stuff like his choice of vehicle (He's chasing after some bad guys- "Bike? Two wheels, no. Car? Four wheels, no. ROLLERSKATES? Eight wheels, YES!") and his song about how he's his own grandad had me sniggering away like an idiot.

 

Oh, and in True Lies he was a great comedy sidekick to Arnold's bad-ass tough guy. He wasn't going to win an Oscar, but in his serious moments he played the part well. And when it came to making stupid comments and jokes, he had me laughing.

 

And lately he's made a name for himself as a fish-out-of-water white guy in a black man's world. Look at Exit Wounds, where he's pretty funny, even if it did mean having to watch one of the weirdest things in movie history; Anthony Anderson (fat coloured dude from Hang Time) and Tom Arnold (comic who usually appeared in kid's films) having a five minute conversation about masturbation. Very surreal.

 

Anyway, Tom Arnold is going to be appearing in the "Urban" remake of Airplane soon as a white guy who accidentally books a ticket on NW Airlines (NWA, hur hur hur) where he talk to Snoop and all kinds of other characters who play the same role in every film.

 

Anyway, at the end of the day Tom Arnold can be annoying when he's not at his best, but there are more deserving people to be fired into the heart of the sun. For example...

 

1. Kylie Minogue

 

She's not talented, she's been around for ages and as some wise man said on Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned, "apart from the arse, she's vile to look at". How the HELL is she considered a sex symbol, she's quite possibly got the ugliest face for a woman in the music business. If you can call what she does music. Yes, she says "la la la" over and over to the sound of an electronicly created beat that sounds like a variation of Song B of Tetris (not the one that goes "Ba ba ba BA ba ba BA...", the other one). Besides, anyone could look like her with a spare £70000 to spend on plastic surgery. She's a useless person who some crazy people consider to be talented, and I can't say I find her in the least attractive.

 

2. Avril Lavine.

 

Urgh. She's another "singer" I can't stand. Her "punk" flavoured pop music is disgusting, she looks about 10 (and if you find that attractive, go give Gary Glitter or Rob Feinstein a call) and her lyrics are some of the worst of all time. "I like you the way you are, when we're driving in a car". For God's sake, how on Earth can you listen to something like that and think she's deserved the millions that she's "earned" by pretending to have some kind of anger that's as manufactured as the genré her music comes under. The fact is, I know people who like her "music", and the sooner she's sent into the sun, the sooner I can get back to liking these people.

 

3. Jeff Hardy

 

I'll try and keep this as wrestling free as I can, considering this is the general chat forum. Inno's used to have a fabulous list of reasons why Jeff sucks saved on his PC, and it sums it up better than I ever could. His hair, his lack of wrestling ability, the fact that he attracts fans to wrestling who know nothing about it, yet won't hear a bad word about "their" Jeff, it all annoys me. When he was fired, I was happier than I've ever been after hearing that someone's left their job. He sums up everything bad about the new wave of wrestling fans that started watching within the past 4 years who won't put in the effort to find out that other promotions exist now, and in the past, yet still feel that no one can say anything bad about Jeff.

 

4. The extended McMahon family

 

I know I said I'd keep it wrestling free, but screw it. If 99% of promoters in the world had a third of WWE's roster, power and finance, every single show would be spectacular. So how come WWE, which has the best wrestling roster in the world, can manage to make half of their shows awful, and the other half only passable? The management. If Vince, Linda, Shane, Steph and HHH were fired into the sun, then the new management would be able to do a better job, that's almost a certainty. And yes, I know I'm only allowed 10 people, but I'm guessing that there's room on the spaceship for 10 people. So what I propose is that Shane, Vince, Linda and HHH all camp in Stephanie's cleavage, saving valuable space.

 

5. J-Lo

 

Why? Why all the attention over her? She can't make good music, she can't act, she's certainly not as good looking as other people who don't get 1/100th of her attention and she still appears in every magazine and newspaper. My guess is because she's a diva, in the literal meaning of the word, demanding this, that and the next thing for free. Yes, in other words, she's famous because she's mean. Get her off the planet now.

 

6. John Woo/Jackie Chan

 

These two can share a seat. And before you kill me, this is a mercy kill. Years ago, Woo and Chan were the biggest names in Hong Kong cinema, making utterly incredible kung fu and action films. Now? They're parodies of their old selves, ruining their reputation with every Paycheck/The Tuxedo. John Woo is so clichéd that his films are unwatchable- Start plot, action stuff, plot stuff, action stuff, big plot stuff with swerve, doves fly in, final action battle, plot wrapped up. As for Jackie Chan, apart from Around The World In 80 Days (Which I am SO looking forward to! Arnold Schwartzenegger and Steve Coogan on the same screen together! Yes, The Terminator and Alan Partridge sharing a screen, my life will be complete when I see this film), hasn't done or looked like doing a good film for years and years, and it's time to put this one-trick (albeit an incredible trick) pony out to stud. First up, Maud Flanders.

 

7. Jade

 

She was on Big Brother. She was stupid. She lost. All her other housemates disapeared off TV. Despite the fact she's not, y'know, DONE A SINGLE WORTHWHILE THING since leaving the house, she's STILL on TV. Why? Who cares, get her on board the vessle.

 

8. Christine Hamilton

 

Another annoying bissum. She can't understand that people don't want to see her on TV, in their papers or absolutly anywhere full stop. I kinda feel sorry for her husband who half the time looks like he'd rather be sitting at home, but it's her that I can't stand. She is so desperate to become famous and loved that it would be so much fun to send her to the sun.

 

9. Neil Lennon

 

He's not a footballer, he's a thug. The whole part of his game is to get in his opponent's faces, and piss them off. He makes gestures to the crowd, just about causing a riot (crap, the SPL will fine me now). Unlike Roy Keane, who's a similar type of player, he doesn't have the footballing talent. Keane used to be able to run 40 yards, catch up with a player, win the ball and pass it. Lennon is so fat and out of shape that he's too busy going nose to nose with his opponents off the ball to worry about the game. I can't stand his face, he has no talent and Scottish football would be better without him.

 

10. John Freakin' God Damn Motson aka Satan with a microphone

 

Motson is so biased, so bloody unashamedly one sided that he ruins a football game just by talking about it. If he's not mentioning England's bulldog spirit in a Sweden Vs Nigeria game, then he's talking about 1966 in a Germany Vs Saudi Arabia game. The man has to realise that he's on the BRITISH Broadcasting Corportion, which is heard by everyone in Britain. Scottish people don't want to hear xenaphobic comments about England's opponents. Welsh people don't want to hear a commentator cheering on Sven's men. The Irish don't support England, so why should they be forced to listen to a man who can't be unpartial? Motson must know that what he's saying is heard in places where England aren't supported, and his arrogance and ignorance sums exactly why I want France, Switzerland and Croatia to HUMP England over the new few weeks, just so I can hear him scrape the bottom of the barrell for more insults to other cultures and nations, showing how pathetic he is once and for all.

 

And then put Colin inside the rocket and fire it into the sun. Bingo, the world just became a better place.

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I'm not Neil Lennon's biggest fan Russ' date=' but when you're labelling him a thug, didn't you think about your being a Rangers fan when players like John Brown, Terry Hurlock, Terry Butcher, Graeme Souness and Ian Ferguson were running the Rangers defence and midfield? :P[/quote']

 

Och, they've all mellowed in their old age. Lennon is today and now, Hurlock was several million years ago, judging by his scary resemblence to a neanderthal.

 

Anyway, it's not difficult to tell which side of the Old Firm is the most physical these days. Who'd win in a fight, Neil Lennon, Stan Varga, Bobo Balde and Johann Mjallby or Stephen Hughes, Chris Burke, Maurice Ross and Alan Hutton? :)

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