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Chat Up Lines!


Goldy
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I saw some real cheesy chat up lines earlier on MSN.com which i'll post: :D

 

1. There must be something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off you.

 

2. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

 

3. Does God know you've escaped from heaven?

 

3. Bond. James Bond.

 

4. Do you have a map because I'm lost in your eyes.

 

5. I'm here now darlin'. What were your other two wishes?

 

6. Haven't I seen you on the cover of Playboy?

 

7. I feel like Richard Gere because I'm standing next to the Pretty Woman.

 

8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

 

9. Wow! Are those real?

 

10. You look so good, I could drink your bath water!

 

and wondered if any of the TWO studs could do better? well I hope you can!!! so lets hear some of your favs, tell us which have worked and which haven't etc!! I bet Boyo knows a fair few ;)

 

I actually like 6 and 8 cas they make me laugh which always works well :)

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Funny you should say that, Goldy...

 

Boyo's current favourites include:

 

1. Fancy going halves on a bastard?

2. Brrrr, my hands are cold, may I put them in your pants?

3. Hi, my name is Mr Right, I believe you've been looking for me?

4. Do you fancy a shag? No? Well do you mind laying down while I have one?

5. Do you fancy a game of house? You can be the door and I'll slam you all night...

6. Be unique, be different, and say yes.

7. Hi there, I can sense that you're a terrific lover and that intimidates me a little.

8. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name...

9. Please! You've got to help me find my cute little puppy, I love him sooo much. I think *sob*, I think he went in that hotel across the street.

10. (Give girl a handful of cash) Take this money. Take it! Spend it all on alcohol and come back to me when I'm good looking.

11. I bet you £20 you're gonna turn me down...

 

Boyo's third favourite is this doozy, if you can remember it:

 

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mummy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

 

Boyo's second fave line is:

"If beauty comes from the inside then you must be leaking"

 

But Boyo's ultimate classy pick-up line is (actually it's more of a scene...):

 

Hand a girl a bit of paper with a scribble that resembles a cat with a scribble of a gun/noose/sword next to the cat with the line (written on the other side of the paper...

 

"Give me a kiss/buy me a drink/Iron my shirt BITCH...or the cat gets it!"

 

Never fails...

 

Perhaps Boyo knows too many lines..?

 

Cheers!

Edited by Boyo
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9. Wow! Are those real?

 

Made me laugh, short and sweet. Classic. A good one I know but never used is... (I think I posted this before here sometime, ah well)...

 

You walk into your favourite club, the music booming, the babes bouncing, your buzzing. As you walk smoke surronds you from the smoke machine which had been on during the song. As the smoke fades you see a beutiful lady at the bar. You walk over to the bar acting as cool and sleek as possible. As you aproach the bar she looks at you and begins to stair in your eyes. The tension builds up inside. A little sweat drips from your brow. You finally reach the bar, the walk to the bar seemed to intense. You lean on the bar once again acting as cool as possible. A slightl glance at the beutiful girl. You then go onto say...

 

You: "Bar man, one... piece of ice please"

 

Bar Man: "Coming right up sir"

 

The girl looks on slightly confused.

 

Bar Man: "Here you go"

 

You place the piece of ice on the bar. Take a step back, a few deep breaths and BANG you smash your hand ontop of the ice. The girl steps back in shock.

 

You look over at the girl and say...

 

You: "OK... thats broken the ice... fancy a ****"

 

Girl: "Giggles"

 

End segment here :P

 

Its a classic guys. Ive never tried it just it sounds awesome. I changed it a fair amount but still. Like it huh? Thought so :P

 

Chris

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The ever cheesy 'How do you like your eggs in a morning? Fertilised or unfertilised?' makes me laugh even now!

 

Of course, with A.C., the correct answer is "scrambled". :eek

 

Anyways, I remember when my mate from college Darren got hypnotised. He was up on the stage wearing only his underpants and the hypnotist asked him to use his best chat up line on the best looking girl he could find in the audience. He walks up to this chick and bellows at her (Darren was a heavy drinker and never known for his subtlety) "You dad's a ****ing thief!".

 

He couldn't remember the rest of the chat up line. :worship Darren was a GOD after that.

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lol im not good with chat ups and the ones i know are so shitty no one wud dare use them

 

im sorry ive lost my virginity, can i have yours?

did it hurt? when u fell from heaven

 

and of course the so shitty

get your coat luv, youve pulled

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For chat up lines, Gertner is GOLD.

 

"If you've got an hour, I've got the power"

 

"Put your lipstick on my dipstick"

 

"Hi, I'm BEEEEEEP, I'm young, hung and skilled with my tongue" (Note the Kill Bill reference to Russ' non-kayfabe name!)

 

"Point in the direction that you want my erection"

 

"I'm like a rubix cube, the more you play with me, the harder I get"

 

"They call me Fred Flintstone, because I'm used to making a Bed Rock"

 

Put them together to form one big super chat up line. But never, EVER attempt a chat up line with a bootylicious babe if you're-

 

A. Ugly/Fat/Smelly. Not even the funniest joke in the world could get you some lovin' with a sex-ay lay-dee, loser. Aim lower.

B. Not holding a drink. It makes it look like you're serious, and you'll scare her.

C. Not smiling. If you don't emphasise that the chatup line is a joke, again, she'll freak out.

 

The best thing about the Gertner stuff is that it's funny enough to break the ice and make her laugh, yet silly enough to make her realise that it's not a serious offer.

 

The best potential chat up line ever comes from my pal, who took his brother's motorbike helmet with him to a pub with the intention of going up to girls and saying "Take this, so I don't hurt you when I put you through the headboard". The lovely staff at The Portcullas refused to let him in incase he used it as a weapon. I must have missed the scene in Saving Private Ryan when the Nazis came rushing after the heroes with their RED AND BLACK CRASH HELMETS OF DOOM!

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I, unlike may other blokes, just go for the honest approach, and it works!!! When it was suggested to me i didnt believe it, but after walking up to a nnice bird in the club the other week i decided to give it a go. So i went up to her, and just said "Hi, i think you look fantastic so i wanted to come over and buy you a drink and maybe we could talk?" and she went for it. Wicked :xyx
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I, unlike may other blokes, just go for the honest approach, and it works!!!

 

So i went up to her, and just said "Hi, i think you look fantastic so i wanted to come over and buy you a drink and maybe we could talk?" and she went for it. Wicked :xyx

:lol

 

LIAR.

 

Cheers!

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:lol

 

LIAR.

 

Cheers!

 

Just because it doesnt work for brooding Boyo, doesnt mean that it doesnt work for us studs out there :D from my experience most women cant stand having caht up lines used on them, they prefer men to be honest and themselves. Boyo should try it some day :xyx

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I quite go for something that makes me laugh, some of Russ's would probably work, but Alan's aproach would also work to.

The worst I heard was last week some guy comes over and says

'I like your perfume'

I'm like, oh ok thanks lol,

But it wasn't a question and it didn't make me laugh, so basically something like that would never work. He jost sorta stood there after that whilst I wondered off hehe. So don't do that guys although compliments are generally nice to hear. :)

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One that worked for me was one I read from an interview with WCW divas. I basically walked up to the girl and said "Hey, just thought I'd tell you that I know I haven't got a chance with you but you are really beautiful and you've lightened up my life just by seeing you" or to that effect." I then walked off back to my mates and her mates were like "Aww" and she seemed a little dumbstruck. Anyhoo, I went to the toilet and when I got out, I found her there waiting for me. We struck a little conversation and by the end of the week, we were going out.

 

Then we broke up a week later. Still...

 

 

And humour. Humour always works. I chatted up a girl in Safeway car park by basically making jokes and having confidence, yet being sweet as well. Worked really well, but unfortunately, I didn't like her, and only used her to make the girls who wanted me in the Arboretum feel jealous and leave me alone.

 

Sorry... got lost in the moment.

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The best potential chat up line ever comes from my pal' date=' who took his brother's motorbike helmet with him to a pub with the intention of going up to girls and saying "Take this, so I don't hurt you when I put you through the headboard". The lovely staff at The Portcullas refused to let him in incase he used it as a weapon. I must have missed the scene in Saving Private Ryan when the Nazis came rushing after the heroes with their RED AND BLACK CRASH HELMETS OF DOOM![/quote']

 

LOL :lol

 

:worship :thumbsup :worship

 

Some nice tips there Russ ;)

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I never use lines to actually initiate a chat with a woman I've never met. Never. They don't work.

 

Chat-up lines work best when you've been on a couple of dates already and then you can just take the mick. I usually do much along the same lines as old AJP, just talk casually and compliment her buff abs. Girls love that.

 

The best ever line used on me - however - and this has happened only once - is when I was 18 and in this nightclub which I went to every week. My hair was bleached for ages and spiked (kids eh..?) but by this particular night it had grown a bit and I had dark roots, and my hair was lying flat.

 

This girl came over, smiled, and said "I preferred your hair when it was spiked up". I was speechless with joy. I HAD A STALKER!! Woo-hoo!

 

A fit one too...

 

I have used that really long one (post #2) once before, and it worked a charm. You have to be hammered to do it, you have to make sure you dont slur and just deliver it. Once you've said the last line just say "barman, JD", down it, slam the glass down, spin on your heels and walk away.

 

Cheers!

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I think the best way to talk to a women is to seem confident and listen! Women love men who listen to them and compliment them because they leave little holes in the conversation that you have to fill in, its like a game of chess.

 

Chat up lines just don't work, cpmpliments that are cute and soft work, go in too fast and well crude and you go down...

 

Once I was at a bar and this guy came over to the barmaid and said... 'I was just over there looking at you and I thought I'd come chat to your breasts'.... She just said back 'Love, you wouldn't be able to keep up with them anyway, my bra size is bigger then your IQ...

 

Why can't all women be that witty?

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