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New Slang Dictionary


Nicole
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NEW SLANG DICTIONARY, 2004

 

GOING FOR A Mc****

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mc**** with Lies.

 

AEROPLANE BLONDE

One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

 

AUSSIE KISS

Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

 

BEER COAT

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

 

BEER COMPASS

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a boozecruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you've come from.

 

BOBFOC

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. (I like this one)

 

BREAKING THE SEAL

Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. (Now you mention it, this one's true)

 

BRITNEY SPEARS

Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

 

BRUCE LEE

Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

 

DRINK-LINK

A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.

 

SSSSSSSSSSHHHH1111111111111TTTTTTTTTTTTT

The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

 

GREYHOUND

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

 

JOHNNY-NO-STARS

A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

 

MILLENNIUM DOMES

The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fu(k-all in there worth seeing.

 

MONKEY BATH

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

 

MYSTERY BUS

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

 

MYSTERY TAXI

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

 

NELSON MANDELA

Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

 

PEARL HARBOUR

Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there" (there's a nasty nip in the air)

 

PICASSO AR$E

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.

 

SALAD DODGER

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

 

STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT

A homosexual.

 

SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive woman.

 

TART FUEL

Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

 

TITANIC

A lady who goes down first time out.

 

TODGER DODGER

A lesbian.

 

UP ON BLOCKS

Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

 

WALLACE AND GROMIT

Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

 

WYNONA RYDER

Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen"

 

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Personal favourite is monkey bath :D

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A good one is "Casablanca Lilies" aka "Pulling An Ace": - When the sheet of toilet paper post-wipe is still as pure white as was pre-wipe. Your arse is clean, you can stop wiping now.

 

And

 

"Quivering Puckerhole" - an excellent word for "arse hole", "ringpiece" etc etc.

 

Cheers!

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