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I thought of this a while back, and it totally slipped my mind. Now, thanks to the power of boredom, I've finally gotten around to posting it.


Do you think that TWO could field an 11-a-side football team made up of people who post here? Let's find out!


Just fill out the questions below, and then we come up with possible starting sides. I'll get things rolling by doing my own stats.


Name: "Chopper" Russ

Age: One year older than I was last year (20 and 1/2)

Position(s): Defensive Midfield/Right Back

Club History: Linlithgow Rose 1994-1998, Hutchison Vale 1998-2001

Honours: Under 16's Edinburgh and Lothians Cup 1998, Under 18's Scottish Cup 2000 Semi Finalist, Champions Edinburgh And Lothian League 1999,2000 and 2001

Career Highlights: Playing for West Lothian School XI, scoring in a penalty shootout in the Scottish cup, went on trial with Everton Youth team and played against a Mr Rooney, getting booked after a game for spitting at the opposition manager's car.

Goals: 2

Red Cards: 0

Yellow Cards: 5 (Each with a £5 fine, grrrr)

Strengths: Physically and mentally strong, good tackler, cool under pressure

Weaknesses: Slow, can't header, can't shoot, can't cross.

Professional Player Most Like: Rino Gattuso


Anyone else up for the challenge of playing for TWO FC? :)

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Name: P.W Walsh

Age: 18 and 11 months

Position(s): Midfield/Defensive midfield

Club History: Fender FC 1993 - 1994 Tranmere SCFC 1998-1999 Honours:

Like all who follow Tranmere, none.

Career Highlights: Coming from 3 - 0 down to draw with Wirral's top side West Kirby.

Goals: 1

Red Cards: 0

Yellow Cards: 0

Strengths: Strong, calm, forward thinking

Weaknesses: Shooting is hit and miss, lack of pace or passion

Professional Player Most Like: Micky Mellon

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Name: Chris Dewing

Age: 17

Position(s): Striker

Club History: Chippenham Town from U7s to U14s (7 seasons), Derry Hill Primary School for 2 years, King Edward's School Bath for 2 years.

Honours: Local School Tournament with Derry Hill, Indoor Football Tournament with Chippenham, South West Cubs Shield.

Career Highlights: Scored winning penalty to clinch the Cubs shield final, scored six goals in one game for Chippenham.

Goals: Around 50 odd.

Red Cards: 0

Yellow Cards: None that I know of.

Strengths: Good finisher, good at making space, good header.

Weaknesses: Slow, lazy, goalhanger, often offside, not good in cold/wet conditions.

Professional Player Most Like: Savo Milosevic

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is this mixed? if so,


Name - Lucy

Age - 19

Position - Goalkeeper

Club History - 2 years primary school, thornwell red and white u.11's, u.12's, bulwark ladies - 3 seasons

Career Highlights - becoming the first team to win the south wales womens league. getting player of the tournament with my u.11's team.

goals - none

Red Cards - none

yellow Cards - none

Strengths - tall, agile, not afraid to get stuck in, good kicker

Weaknesses - bad knee, needs to be fitter

Professional Player most like - david seaman in his younger days

Edited by Popsi
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Name: William Lovell

Age: 20

Position(s): Centre Half

Club History: Woodlawn Boys, Carrickfergus College

Honours: East Antrim U15s League Winners, Hilditch Shield winners

Career Highlights: Clearing off the line in the final of the Hilditch Shield against Greenisland. We won 4-3

Goals: 1

Red Cards: 0

Yellow Cards: A couple

Strengths: Good heading, decent tackler, good at "getting in the way of the ball" when goal is under siege

Weaknesses: Slow, poor finisher, suspect distribution

Professional Player Most Like: Lorenzo Amoruso

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Name - Neill Mc Namee

Age - 18

Position - Right wing

Club History - 1year in primary school - Beat St.lukes P.S 3-1 I scored final goal, Newry Celtic 1 season (had to leave for a while)

Career Highlights - Getting to the South Down final cup and winning 2-1

goals - 12 - 1 season

Red Cards - none

yellow Cards - 6

Strengths - Fast, good at through balls, good shooter, good technically

Weaknesses - not fit enough, not good tackler, bad at headers

Professional Player most like - ole gunnar solskjaer


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Name: Nicole (aka Nikky the lesbian on the pitch)

Age: 15 and a bit

Position(s): Center midfield/Striker

Club History: Lardlane united

Honours: Scoring hat trick on my debut with them

Career Highlights:3 sneaky goals.

Goals: 3

Red Cards: 0

Yellow Cards: 0

Strengths: Distraction tactic, can get the sneaky goals, always puts 100% effort in

Weaknesses: Easily injured, panics when under pressure

Professional Player Most Like: Robbie Savage, cos he always tries.

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Name: Scott Owens

Age: 21

Position: Centre Mid/Full Back

Club History: De La Salle u11s - u16s; Salford City Schoolboys; Marine u19s; Marine; Harrogate Railway; Mitchell Shackleton Openage ('Career' :lol interupted because of damaged cruciate ligaments on left leg)

Honours: North West Cup w/Salford School Boys 1998-99; Trials with Crewe, Tranmere, Macclesfield. Scored two own goals on my first team debut for Marine, including one in the last minute to ensure we lost 2-1. Slapped Michaels Symes during an Everton-Marine contest in the 2000 Equity Cup.

Goals: Um...do own goals count?

Red Cards: 7 (4 in sunday league)

Yellow Cards: Never kept count.

Strengths: Determined; Hard Tackling; Pace.

Weaknesses: Dirty and far too aggressive.

Player most like: Tomas Graveson.

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Name: Andy Bauchope

Age: 17 and 8 months

Position(s): Attacking midfield/forward

Club History: Cupar Y Under 10's(2 years),under 12's and under 14's, Falkland under 13's, Castlehill Primary, BEll Baxter 1st years, 3rd years and seniors(2 years), Cupar Eagles 5 a side team

Honours: Player of the year for Cupar Y Under 10's, top goalscorer for Under 12's, top goalscorer in 5 a side comp for under 12's, runners up in Fife Cup for Bell Baxter seniors

Career Highlights: coming on as sub on last day of 1st season with under 10's and scoring all 5 goals in a 5-0 win. And finally winning a game with the cupar Eagles(record see win 1, draw 2, lost 33 :P)

Goals: lots

Red Cards: 0

Yellow Cards: 0

Strengths: Natural finisher. Good on ball. Good vision.

Weaknesses: Bad temper. Tries to wind opposition up if things dont go his way. Small. Argues with ref a lot.

Professional Player Most Like: um, Ronald De Boer's the closest I can think of.

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