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April Fools


ChrisfromBirtley
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I was meaning to post this yesterday, but was upto other things, anyway, what kinds of pranks did you pull on your mates? Any really mean ones? :devil

 

Did they get you really badly? :lol

 

We need to know about what you got upto on April Fools' Day! :)

 

Do you still do April Fool's jokes? :?

 

Cheers!

 

Chris

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Members of Ex-Rev can skip this: you saw it on that forum on the 1st

 

Step one: Copy BBC.co.uk's news wep-page into powerpoint.

 

Step two: Blank out all the real news.

 

Step three: Write phony article in the space, ensuring that the font and text size look correct:

 

"RBoSG to cut 2,500 in efficiency measures

 

In a leaked email it has been revealed that The Royal Bank of Scotland Group has planned to reduce its operating costs this fiscal year by moving just under 2,500 jobs to the burgeoning call-centre-capital of Mumbai, India.

 

The email, sent by RBoSG’s Group Chief Executive Fred Goodwin [pictured] to the company’s major shareholders yesterday, states that “the plans are drawn up” and “ready to be put into effect on 31 May 2004”.

 

Mr Goodwin’s bonus recently of £990,000 was part of a total salary and bonus package of £1.9m for 2003, and reward for unveiling a record annual profit.

 

RBoSG, along with many of the major banking corporations, posted record figures in February amid accusations of “excessive profits”. In Mr Goodwin’s case, his company made a £7.15bn profit. This, apparently, is “only the beginning” according the leaked document.

 

“We look forward to further increasing RBoSG’s profitability the 04/05 fiscal year,” says Goodwin in the email. He confirms that the majority of the cuts will come in the RBS Insurance sector of the company.

 

“We have looked long and hard at the spread of staff in RBS Insurance and are confident that moving them from five or six disparate sites to one centralised office, in India, will improve not only service for our customers, but efficiency, and thus profits, for the group.”

 

He continued: “The matter has been referred to Annette Court [pictured] and she will be rolling out the redundancy plans to area managers in the coming two months.”

 

The move is likely to face strong opposition. Specifically, the revelation that “under the standard RBS Insurance contract, staff are required to be flexible with the business’ demands in respect to hours and place of work which means that any staff who refuse to move to India will be let go with no redundancy payment.”

 

Mr Goodwin refused to make a statement.

 

Step four: Add the Royal Bank logo and a couple of snaps of Fred and Annette I googled up.

 

Step five: Add the url to the bottom of the page and the "Page 1 of 2" and "BBC News Business" things to the top of the page to make it look like a straight print-off from the website.

 

Step six: Hand it to Nick Bailey casually saying "have you seen this?" and go outside for a cigarette.

 

Step seven: Come back into the office and see Nick leaving Steve Donoghue's desk, Steve frowning.

 

Step eight: Intercede when I hear them talking about ringing up Human Resources to give them a mouthfull of s***, realising that I might get fired.

 

Step nine: YES! I OWN THEM ALL!!! :music1

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For a great April Fool's joke (if a day late) IMO, see the "Why Do You Hate Me Thread?" And read it from the START.

 

Cheers!

 

ChrisfromBirtley

 

I wipe my arse with your thread...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

APRIL FOOLS!

 

Does it work for me too?

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