Nostalgia Train: Milon’s Secret Castle

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Milon's Secret Castle

Welcome back aboard the Nostalgia Train – the series that takes a look back at crazy movies and games from our past that we love, hate, and sometimes forget about. Today’s trip leads us back to the NES era – a time of masterpieces and some rather obscure titles. In honor of those forgotten cartridges, I give you Milon’s Secret Castle. There’s much to be said about this game and very little makes sense. It is one of those titles that you may have lying around or in the bottom of a box in your basement. Just remember, all trips down memory-lane aren’t going to be good ones.

Castle

Milon’s Complicated Story

As a gamer fires up this game on the good ol’ NES, it becomes immediately apparent that it will be a bit of a dumpster fire. There is no explanation and no story; players are set before a castle with three doors, a well and that’s it.

After some digging, I finally found the game’s story! It revolves around young Milon, who lives in a land where people use music to communicate with each other – but he can’t understand anyone. Apparently, he’s music illiterate. He decides to travel the world. Before he leaves, he wants to visit the Queen. Wouldn’t you know it, she’s been taken by an Evil Warlord. (As you do…) The court magician appoints Milon to save her. He gives Milon…bubbles and tells him the castle where she’s being held has all sorts of tools for him, and that’s it. Milon’s off to save the day.

Milon's Secret Castle Dungeon

Stormin’ the Castle

Milon’s Secret Castle doesn’t just lack a cohesive story, it doesn’t really make any sense at all. A young man saving a girl is a basic trope, but why would Milon even attempt to meet with the queen knowing he could not communicate with her. If all the inhabitants of the land he lives in only communicate using music, why would he think the royal family was any different? For that matter, how in the world did the magician even clue Milon in?

The story itself doesn’t scratch the surface. Players aren’t even clued into story, so it doesn’t really matter. Playing the game is just and needlessly complicated.